Sheila Hafiwhatever – Hope of the fandom

I totally love your music Jackson, I swear. Now do me

Dear Twilighters,

I have found our saviour… the HOPE of our fandom.

Yes, it’s Sheila Hafsadi. And no, I don’t know how to pronounce her last name either. But the face of HOPE she is. No longer is it Barack Obama, but Sheila Hafsadi we can put our future and dreams into. Why, you ask? Because she did what everyone thought was seemingly impossible: hook a Twicast member for life. I know we all thought it was impossible but Sheila’s here to remind us that yes it’s possible. Anyone can go to a 100 Monkeys Concert (though not advised), meet Jackson, get him trashed, jump in the backseat of your Ford Focus with him, get hot and heavy and “oh of course you’re totally on birth control,” get crazy, watch Jackson stumble out of the Focus, then drive off towards the CVS for the pregnancy test you’ll need next month. A month later after it’s confirmed, call him up, drop the hammer, and presto you’re on Summit’s private jet to the European leg of the Breaking Dawn press tour with the girl from Thirteen and that dude from American Idol. I mean really, Sheila makes it all sound so simple, I feel stupid we didn’t think of it first. Only with a less catfish-y cast member. This is what happens when you don’t teach abstinence and birth control at that backwoods “theater” school Jackson went to. BIG MISTAKE!

You guys should totally record a song together. Worked for us!

Now that Sheila’s proven anyone can do it we have a few concerns, first of all if this is only Jackson’s first confirmed child what about the rest of the z list cast? Any cast member’s who’s attended a Twicon in the past could potentially have like 50 illegitimate children out there. So as a precautionary measure we’d think all Twicon giftbags and backstage should be well stocked with condoms otherwise the newly hopeful fandom may get some ideas about the backseats of their Ford Focus’s.

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It’s kind of amazing Jackson’s dodged a bullet this long, here’s hoping Mike Welch is “safe” at the next three day Breast Cancer Walk.

Here’s to the new hope in the fandom! We salute you, Sheila! Here, here! *starts chanting* YES WE CAN! YES WE CAN! YES WE CAN!


(perfect for printing, hanging and taking tips from)

Wrap it up kids!
Moon and UC

REALLY Jackson?! 4months along?! Anyone? This has to be a happy “surprise” and not planned, right? ANYONE?! And what about Jackson’s Texas living, conservy parents??? Poor Mrs. Rathbone.

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  • Anonymous

    This is getting freaking ridiculous. You guys need to stop. 

    • Anonymous

      This is fun!

    • Anonymous

      *Evil cackles* It’s only just begun

    • d_e

      I’m still trying to figure out what this means…

      “you’re so salty you are a got damn ballpark peanut”

      • Venom

        Got damn ballpark peanuts?

        They’re the new milk.

        They’re salty as all get out tho, gosh darn.

        That’s my wrong guess. I couldn’t figure it out either.

  • Anonymous

    I know exactly what you guys need to chill, THIS:

    http://youtu.be/8cmLkjKj4Sc

    this song RULES! I don’t really understand why it’s not on the soundtrack. it’s been blasting in my room all day. I stopped playing it (thought my neighbor needed to sleep, it’s 01:47 am)…five minutes and he texted me DEMANDING that i put it back on! and i thought he was cursing me all day. Now i’m just watching his hilarious (and admittedly cute) attempt at samba through the window.

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  • Tigerlilly_2315

    wow like 10 minutes on here and im already hooked! I can’t stop laughing. Im a Jackson fan and even I think the comments are great! 

    Does anyone else think its kinda fishy that he decided to tell everyone within days of the Breaking Dawn DVD release? Seems a little stupid on his part considering he took a chance of lessening the DVD sales and loosing money that he’s gonna need for his kid.

  • Andrea

    I can’t believe I missed all of this!  Sorry I’m so late to the party!

    Man, discussing that Sheila sure seems to bring out the best and worst of people.  Jackson is probably thinking about the same thing right now.

    Two things came to mind while I read all of this madness.  1.  I saw an interview lately where Jackson was talking about getting drunk and lost after a monkees concert.   Could that have been when Sheila found him?  2. SM recently updated her website, and mentioned that the nursery in the stone cottage of BD2 was so gorgeous that they were joking it could cause spontaneous conception.  I’m just saying . . .

    • Anonymous

      The Goddess has updated her website???? Only days after I last checked too. Woo hoo!

      Yeah, you gotta be careful of cottaging

  • me

    Oooh a fansite where it’s okay to be bitchy about twilight I think I’m in lurve lol!

    So er this yes we can chanting does this make Jackson the Bob the builder of the twilight franchise?

    I’ve seen the green haired girl? do her burlesque thing on a vid on the net it was as erotic as watching a dead fish flail about but I guess it’s different strokes for different folks.

    Good luck to him he’s gonna need it esp if the kids comes out with her hair!

  • me

    Hmm me thinks Sheila may have read the interview that Jackson gave where he gushed about how he couldn’t wait to have a family and he really wanted to be a father. Maybe, just maybe a little cartoon light came on above her head andlo and behold a 100 monkeys concert, some booze and “failed” condom later Jackson gets his wish and Sheila’s set for life.

  • Tigerlilly_2315

    You know I wonder something……..Jackson is color-blind right, well then I wonder if someone should tell him she has green hair! I hope his kid is color-blind too otherwise it might find momma a little frightening.

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  • Kristy

    I am sorry to say that they were dating it wasnt a 1 night stand!! jackson and sheila attended Nikkis wedding together in october that was 10 months prior to birth of baby!! hmmm

  • Stranger Beauty

    I have never seen the monster like her. Even prostitutes from my city looks better! He-he!

  • jackson lover

    How could Jackson Rathbone want someone like Sheila Hafsadi? She is so LOW CLASS with all those weird tattoos nearly all over her body. UGH!!

  • jackson lover

    Jackson can do much better than man-looking Sheila. He must have VERY LOW STANDARDS when it come to women!!

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