Yes, it’s that time again. Time to stand in line outside in the freezing cold at the Target at midnight, waiting, not for a 72″ TV on sale for $29.99, but for a DVD that you could just get at 9 am the next morning (because there is no way Target is gonna run out of DVDs.) It’s time to gather your Twi-girlfriends together, kick the kids & the men out of the house, grab the special Twilight cups you keep just for this occasion (Red Solo Cups. (“I fill you up.”)) and make those snacks you call “Twilight Bites” that are really just an excuse to make double fudge chocolate brownies. It’s that one night a year you can let your girlfriends into that room you have permanently decorated as the Cullen’s House but let them think you hired a decorator just for the DVD party. You can take your Life-sized Jacob & Edward cardboard cut outs into the living space of your home instead of where they are safely packed away (on the floor on your side of the bed.. shhh don’t tell the mister) And yes, you can play “pin the (insert whatever you want) on Edward’s (insert preferred PG, PG-13 or R rated body part)”
But it wouldn’t be a Twilight party without a drinking game to go along with the DVD. So I give you:
Letters to Twilight’s The Twilight Saga Breaking Dawn Part 1 Drinking Game
- Take a drink if you can say the proper title to the latest Twilight movie without stumbling.
Now Start the Movie
- Take a drink every time you wish Charlie was your dad
- Take a drink when you erase that first thought & wish you could get it on with Charlie
- Take a drink every time you get that gooey feeling inside when Edward is on screen & you want to scream or shriek like you’re in the theater at midnight
- Do a shot with every toast at the wedding. Double shot when Anna Kendrick speaks
- Do a shot every time you hear a song from an earlier film
- With every inappropriate smile that Bella gives Jake, drink!
- Drink every time something makes you think of LTT (so basically every Robsten scene)
- During the Edward & Bella scenes (so basically the whole movie) drink whenever you think of a Robsten joke you or someone on LTT once made. Double fist if it’s about the bear-skin rug
- Drink if you find yourself humming “Breathe me”
- Take a BIG gulp the minute you realize you’re watching the scene where Jumping Rob was birthed
- Drink every time you miss Buttcrack Santa
- Every time you think, “Oh They practiced that!” Drink!
- Do a shot every time you get feel icky about imprinting
- As Rosalie gets scarier as the film progresses, drink. Extra points if you sing the song Nikki Reed’s husband sang at the end of American Idol (wait, did he win AI?)
-Close your eyes, hold your ears and CHUG the bottle when Bella’s back breaks, she goes down & gets torn apart. You won’t survive that scene sober
-Drink every time you want to cry because it’s so emotional & beautiful & Bella & Edward are having much better sex than you are. Or because the saga is almost over. (By now you should be drinking out of the bottle because you’re crying so hard because we’ve gotten you so drunk up to this point)
-Do a shot in Chris Hansen’s honor the EXACT minute Jacob imprints
- Drink if you or someone in your group says “WHERE IS THE CHRISTINA PERRY SONG?”
- BONUS Throw a drink in the face of whoever says “I KNEW it would end like this”
Yay!! Now you’re good & drunk! Eat more brownies! Make out with Cardboard cut out Edward! Make Cardboard Jacob kiss Cardboard Edward! Write some Robsten Fan Fic! Whatever!! You’re having Fun!
So who is excited? Are you going to one of the Target midnight release parties? I’ll be away from Philly visiting my sister in Pittsburgh so I doubt I’ll make it to one, but I’ll be thinking of you all. Please tweet me the amazing things you see at your release party! Oh Yeah- HAPPY BIRTHDAY TAYLOR LAUTNER (Tomorrow) You were MUCH more fun when you were underage and/or seen out at Olive Garden more often.