Chris Weitz Porn– err pom

This begins our countdown until next week when both Moon & I enter a new stage in our jobs where we can find time for each other longer than a quick “Hi FML” for 5 minutes each day. 5 days to go…

Dear LTT,

I know, I know we’ve done the Alpaca Llama thing to death. I mean, Taylor looks like a llama! There are llama farms in Forks! Haha. So funny. But as luck would have it, an anonymous LTTer (not me, but anonymous for her or his(!) dignity’s sake) had a dream in which Chris Weitz was a Pomeranian. It was one of those Princess and the Frog type of story lines in which she or he(!) kisses the pooch and it becomes the DILF (x2 almost, btw!). The catch being that after ten seconds of the most recent human kiss, he turns back into the Pomeranian. Very awkward indeed.

When she or he told me about this dream, I knew there was only one rational response. Since I’m a good friend and really love procrastinating, I felt the only thing I could do was create, say, a minimum of five mash-ups of Chrispom (which, adorably, looks a lot like Chrisporn):

After that happened and I increased the day’s happiness levels for everyone who received the Chrispom, an email thread regarding “We should do the other directors! David Slade clearly is a naked mole rat” ensued. These were the results:

 

 

As you can see, Taylor is not the only one who can be compared to a domestic and/or wild animal to bring about happiness in one’s day.

Chrispom Forever!!!

With Kind Regards,

Team Seth

In other news, Team Seth’s letter today informed me that Alpacas=Lamas. I did not know this. I might be dumb.

Remember this from the good ol’ days?

 

GUYS: I’m going to the Sam Bradley/Marcus Foster show tonight. Hold me! – UC xx

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTR, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTR, The Forum, Twitter, The Store
  • Peruvian in Montreal
    • Pomlover

      Sounds like a good logic question. 

      Taylor can be an Alpaca. Taylor can be a llama. Can an Alpaca also be a llama?

    • Montrealer in Chile

      That is right. Llamas were bred as work animals, alpacas were bred for soft fur and cuteness.

      • The Old One

        Ergo, Taylor is an alpaca!

        • MariaCecilia

          Which brings me back to an old idea: teaching philosophy through Twilight. Clearly all things Twi improve your logic thinking! Quod erat demonstrandum…

    • ladyofthemeadow

      And they’re not bears either!

      • MariaCecilia

        Aha! Twilight replaces Biology 101!

  • stupidshiny

    Holy Crow! You are soooo right! There are some truly gifted people out there in LTT world (props to you Team Seth) I would not know where to start!  So no.1 for me is the third pic of Chrispom – that hit the nail on the head, then there’s Cathy Hardi as a long horn cow – all sorts of innuendo going on there – don’t get me started!  Then Bill as a bunny – awwwww! But that pic of David Slade and the mole-rat, that scares the bejeesus out of me!!  Tay-tay IS an Alpaca and Alpacas are NOT LLamas…

  • JustthetipEH

    I was wondering if you were going to go see them. I want to know why moon didn’t go see Sam and Marcus (I really mean rob) or did she? DUN DUN DUNNNNN! Ok that was stupid, but I’m owning it. PS.bunny bill FTW!

  • Natteringyeahrobber

    Aye, it is a well (yet not publicly known) fact that the director of the second part of any trilogy incurs the curse of the Pomeranian. This is why no one has proceeded with the second installment of Golden Compass. This is why no one wants to direct the second Hunger Games movie. 

    It is also a well (yet not publicly known) fact that there are people who specialize in Pomector kissing. Tis a difficult lot, one that requires years of overseas training and patience. But the pay is fair. And I’ve learned that the longer the kiss, the longer the human form is allowed to remain. After a proper romp, it is often days before Pomector returns to Pom form. This is why Pomectors can often travel for days without needing my service. 

    I am glad to finally expose this secret. Thank you Team Seth. 

    • Pomlover

      Though technically Twilight has 4 parts and is thus not a trilogy. But the Pom curse applies anyhow. 

    • ProperPomectoress

      There is actually only one Pomectoress training academy and it is not overseas (hah! you might want to check the accreditation for your alma mater…sounds like you got duped into wasting  your money at a Pomector diploma mill). A proper Pomectress can help her client obtain human form for months with a single deep meaningful kiss. Proper training shows just how to do this. A proper Pomectress never outs her clients, and never expects to appear in the movie credits. Unfortunately, hiring a proper Pomectress is expensive, I will admit that. I’m not cheap. But I also help my clients avoid embarrassing Pommorphing during critical scenes and during meetings with producers. Should an@properpomectoress:disqus  Pomector be reading LTT today you can contact me at pomnomore@properpomectoress.com

      • MarbleNutSlut

         For long lasting Human Form, try Pomectoral! From the makers of Alpacadine Cream.

        • Sisterpenguin

          I’m throwing out the pomade *sigh*

    • MariaCecilia

      And here I was thinking that a Pomectoress was just some kind of cheap seductress with pom-poms. *bows head in shame* I stand corrected.

  • http://letterstokristen.wordpress.com/ KStewBoy

    This is the strangest LTT letter posted since I have been a follower (including my dark days in Lurkdom).  Congratulations TeamSeth and all other contributors!
    Now I am going to have mole-rat nightmares for at least 3 nights.

    • TeamSeth

       Shit’s slow right now, KSB. And one cannot control his or her dreams!

      • http://letterstokristen.wordpress.com/ KStewBoy

        TS, don’t get me wrong, strange is not a bad thing.  We all need a regular does of abnormal to keep us on our toes.  And you’re right, Shiz is szlow.

    • MariaCecilia

      I thought that bald thing there was something unreal dreamt up by the director of Alien. *shudders* And I don’t mean David Slade…

  • TeamSeth

    Whoops! Alpaca Llama thing should’ve been Alpaca/Llama thing since we tend to interchange Taylor as an alpaca and a llama depending on his weight, height, amount of skin-so-soft oils usage, and general disposition (see this for reference: http://www.aragonalpacas.com/images/alpaca_llama.jpg)

    • ladyofthemeadow

      See, this is where I conclude that reading LTT is educational and enriching. Until today’s LTT post, I never appreciated the distinction between alpacas and llamas (I want to type Obamas even though I know they are different again).

      Today I am enriched and smarter. And entertained. Thanks, TeamSeth :)

      • MariaCecilia

        Yes, this is how I explain it to my employer: “Remember those 12 000 bucks you set aside in the yearly budget for staff education? Well, here I am, getting edcated – for free!”

  • Goldberrybecca

    Chrispom. he he he. Yep, I totally see how that happened. Also the naked mole rat thing. ewwwww. fits though. Any time I am reminded of the Taylor alpaca thing is fine by me. (It increases my dopamine levels.)

  • Goldberrybecca

    oh and I forgot, Go Team Seth!! I, er, um, am sorta in love with your manips. ;-)

    • http://letterstokristen.wordpress.com/ KStewBoy

      Hahaha – you said “Man Nips”

      • MariaCecilia

        Hehe – and you actually HAVE them! I bet your MN:s react to those pictures of Taylor as an Alpaca? Just imagine one of KStew as a Sloth? *swoon*

        • MarbleNutSlut
          • MariaCecilia

            Okay, now be a good girl ad pass me the sexy ostrich pic…

          • Sisterpenguin

            Gimme an emu any day baby

          • Sisterpenguin

            And dare I mention Penguin Lust?

          • MariaCecilia

            Okay, I’m drawing a line here: Rob is NOT a penguin!!!

          • MarbleNutSlut
          • MariaCecilia

            Thank you! That’s just hilarious!! (And such a good likeness..)

          • MariaCecilia

            Wonky legs and all…

          • GoWithIt

            I really do want that on a T-shirt. 

          • http://letterstokristen.wordpress.com/ KStewBoy

            MNS, that is creepy and wrong on all kinds of levels.  But I appreciate the effort :)

        • http://letterstokristen.wordpress.com/ KStewBoy

          Haha!! Too funny.

          My Man Nips don’t react in any way to Taylor as either a human or an Alpaca.

          That may be the single strangest sentence I’ve ever written.

          • MariaCecilia

            And there’ll be more strange sentences to come as long as you keep coming here… *leering*

  • Twiprof

    Oh team Seth! Thank you for the laughs…chrispom! Priceless! And the photos….good lord! Love you TS….you are my hero

  • MariaCecilia

    FINALLY I get all those obscure alpaca references where Taylor’s concerned!! I must have missed that particular treasure..bwahahaha!
    And this is such a good idea: obviously you should now do the rest of the cast (no, not in THAT way, well, maybe, but anyway) by finding their look-alikes in the animal kingdom.
    I’m thinking KStew is a sloth, Rob is an ostrich, Kellan is a gorilla, Ashley is a chinchilla, Jackson is an afghan hound while Nikki is a boa constrictor. Elizabeth can be a dachshund while Peter will certainly be a white owl. There! Take your pick!

  • Sisterpenguin

    Looks like he even made it on (and off) the Titanic… that boy sure gets around

    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/04/12/titanic-dogs-100-year-anniversary_n_1421622.html

    • MariaCecilia

      Twilight is a source of never-ending knowledge..I just surfed around and suddenly understood why I’ve seen people making ironic quotations from some novelist named Nicholas Sparks – oh, he’s THAT Nicholas Sparks of Dear John, A Walk to Remember and The Notebook. I get the irony. I’m down with the kids.
      Also I read this description of Kristen Stewart’s  character in The Cake Eaters: “Georgia Kaminski is a fifteen year-old girl with Friedreich’s ataxia, a genetic disease that causes progressive damage to the nervous system resulting in clumsy movements, speech problems heading to heart disease.” *crickets chirping* No comment, I guess…

      • http://letterstokristen.wordpress.com/ KStewBoy

        Come on, Maria – don’t bail out like that… deliver your punchline with gusto!  Mucho gusto! Go go go.  Go Maria, Go!  Go Maria, Go!

        • MariaCecilia

          Poor girl, I just couldn’t bring myself to do it. After such a succinct comment it would just be rubbing it in. But if you insist..:
          a) So, “KStew” is just another name for “Friedreich’s ataxia”?
          b) Oh, that wasn’t actually acting, that was more like…a condition?
          (Disclaimer: I would totally go to Coachella with Kristen, hell, I’d even wear a knotted t-shirt for her!)

      • MarbleNutSlut

         I actually own The Cake Eaters, purchased in a carpet bagging of the local Blockbuster. It’s not a bad movie but, uh, yeah. She basically plays Bella Swan with a limp. Except she gets to DO IT in the first movie.

        • MariaCecilia

          Good for her – especially since that Brit kept her waiting for FOREVER (duh) right after that…

  • Rachel2007a

    Are we going to get a concert update???????????????

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