I know it seems like Moon & I don’t care, but we do. We really do. We spend at least a good 5 minutes a day complaining to each other about how much we miss you & the fun we’ve had. And GET THIS– we have to schedule time to talk to each other. Really. Moon sends me a Google invite to schedule a meeting. I tell her all the time I really only like BING invites (brainwashed by The CW) but she keeps sending them from Google. I have no idea why.
Anyway, I just wanted to pop in & give you an update on what I’ve been up to. Besides my week of sickness resulting in an eye infection, ear infection & possible sinus infection (yes I’m a 4 year old). I cleaned my closet. And realized that the big box of crap that Stephenie Meyer sent us after the epic meeting in 2010 STILL has crap left in it (ps: it’s the crappiest crap left, of course) and it’s taking up room in my closest, and I’m OVER it. So please comment with something that makes me laugh & I’ll send a random commenter something crappy (no you’ll love it! promise!)
Anyway, I want to tell you some REALLY exciting news: I’m writing a BOOK! Yes!!! I know! About time, right? It’s still in the works, but here’s a quick synopsis:
Kathy & Peter are from the same rural territory. Every year a young boy & girl are chosen from each territory and taken to the big city where they are televised and forced to prove their sexual prowess in something called “The Sexual Games,” created for the enjoyment of the residents of the city. Kathy is strong. In the beginning when all participants are meeting each other in a sort-of “speed dating” called “speed flirting” where you show off your skills to each other, she impresses the guys with her impeccable skill at darts. And Peter is incredible in the kitchen. Woman get woozy just by smelling his cinnamon buns.
As the games are set to begin, the participants are standing in a circle waiting for the gunshot to let them know it’s time. In the center of the partipants are “tools” they’ll need for the games. After the shot is fired, everyone runs towards the gear– they have to pick up tools like sexy lingerie, whips, chains, cartons of lube, condoms, dildos and a few surprises I won’t share here!
Kathy & Peter aren’t the best match. Kathy wasn’t ready for the games– she had a potential mate back home (Dale) and Peter just isn’t confident. But throughout my story you’ll see Kathy & Peter come together for the games (pun intended)– knowing that if they are going to win “The Sexual Games” they had better have the hottest sex in front of the cameras they can possible have. And through their fight, they might just find love. You’ll just have to wait & see!
What do you think? If my first printing goes well, I think I’m going to sell the movie rights! Oh and before you ask– yes, I have the same lawyer as E.L. James!
In other news, someone marvelous got this tattoo:
Yes. It’s a tattoo of jorts. On a guy. A guy with a lot of tattoos. Who I’m pretty sure isn’t actually part of “Team Jacob.” But it has jorts GUYS! I’m pretty sure I’m in love with him for doing this. Thanks Sianna for sending it to us!
So that’s what’s new with me. Now make me laugh so I can send you some crap