Everything you’ve ever wanted or not wanted to know about Guri Weinberg:

Dear Guri Weinberg,

In light of this part on your recent blog post about Moon, myself & LTT:

guri-weinberg-ltt

BENIGN? Whoa. We’re sorry. That shouldn’t have happened. We’ll take that as a challenge to up our game big time. With that in mind we’ve decided to dedicate a post to YOU & are calling it “Everything you’ve ever wanted or not wanted to know about Geri Weinberg.” The problem is, there is very little we actually know about you since you stiffed us on the black carpet last November & walked right on by. We get it though– Moon was too busy yelling Rob’s name all night and you probably really anxious to get to the green room where all the celebs get to snack on hors devours like Twilight conversation hearts and little baggies of meat.

Anyway, had you taken the time to stop by & be interviewed by the one & only LTT, we would have been able to find out everything we’ve every wanted to know or not know about you. Here are some of the questions we had prepared:

1. Ugh… who are you again?

2. Now that we’ve established that you’re the guy playing the Romanian vampire, we’re going to whip out a globe & ask you to point to Romania.

3. How many times has your Stefan the vampire been compared to Stefan Salvatore from Vampire Diaries so far? Are we the first to point out that you’re both named Stefan. You both have dark hair & you’re both vampires?

4. Does your wife, Tammy, ever make you role play as Stefan Salvatore instead of Stefan the Romanian? Does she make you role play as Edward Cullen? Carlisle Cullen? Anyone?

5. You know that other guy you play opposite as the Romanian Vampire– Vladamir? Well, his hair is creepishly white- albino almost. We’re wondering– does he make you bleach his hair for him since he can’t reach every area?

6. Do you have a google alert set up for you name? Otherwise how do you know every time we mention you?

7. We hear you’re Israeli. I don’t know if it works the same way as my New York & Philly Jewish friends, but they can always point me in the direction of a good bagel. Moon insists there aren’t any good bagel joints in LA, and I don’t believe her. What’s your favorite?

8. How the eff do you say your name? Gury? Geri? Gory? gERie? guuuurie?? It seems really complicated so if you’re cool we’re just gonna call you Jerry.

9. What’s with the slutty girls at the top of your blog post the other day? You know that Twilight fans are super chaste & not slutty at al. Nor are they into badly written fan fiction porn or anything like that.

10. You’re all into charity with your GFYS 4 charity site, and we think that’s pretty cool. There’s even this “create your own tshirt/product/thong” section that’s pretty fun. Have you created anything on your site in regards to nipple clamps & a cheese wheel? Or would we be the first?

We have a few design ideas:

We also came up with this design, sure to be a best-seller:

Well by now you either love us more or hate us because we’re finally living up to our expectations. So we beat you to it & made the t-shirt you really want to make:

You’re welcome!

Love,
UnintededChoice & theMoonisDown

This could be YOURS!

Okay all: we know you really want to get to know Guri aka JERRY Weinberg, so we’re having a little contest– best, funniest question for Guri in the comments wins your very own, one-of-a-kind, unique LTT-GFYS for charity bag from the Jer-ster’s website. Andddddd go!

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTR, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

 

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTR, The Forum, Twitter, The Store
  • Sue G.

    So Jerry….first day on the set…did you want to do Team Ron or Team Alpaca?

  • Nelle

    So I read Jerry’s comments and I’m asking myself- “Snarky girls at LTT?”  Who is he calling “snarky?  And what the heck does he mean by “snarky?”  I know what I mean by “snarky” but what does he mean? And then I read your first question “uh- who are you?”  Hee-hee. That is SO snarky!

  • The Old One

    I’m not trying to win the tote bag, I just want to clarify, was that Gooooory who was with Jamie Campbell Bower when the cheese wheel/nipple clamp thing happened?  That was so freaky.  I’d be really scared of fans if that happened to me

    • http://letterstotwilight.com UnintendedChoice

      no i don’t think so… BUT i think he had a bite of the cheese

      • JodieO

        Is THAT what the kids are calling it these days?

    • TeamSeth

       I think it was Bewley, actually. And yes, it was freaky. It was freakier that they were unaware that the ordeal was creepy (hence that letter they wrote).

  • BeaDee

    Thanks to Stephenie we’ve been introduced to vegetarian vampires. Guri seems like the right person to ask if there are also vampires who keep kosher. And how would that work? Observing specific methods of slaughter, perhaps?

    • MarbleNutSlut

      Follow up question: are werewolves considered treif? the original kind or just the shapeshifters? 

      • BeaDee

        Werewolvews are definitely treif as they neither have cloven hooves nor chew their cud. Imagine the poor vegetarian vampire who tries to stick to kosher animals! They’d better buy themselves a cattle (or sheep/ goat/ bison) ranch or live in a place with a serious overpopulation of deer, etc. No irritable grizzly allowed!

        • TeamSeth

           I love how twilosophical today got.

        • MarbleNutSlut

           Gotcha. I didn’t know if there were different rules once you were undead. Noted.

    • The Old One

      Someone correct me, but I think any kind of blood is not kosher–don’t they have to drain everything out of meat before it’s cooked for that reason?  Might get tricky for an observant vampire…

      • JodieO

        But think of all the tortured brooding!  Quick! Someone get me a pen!

        • MariaCecilia

          1 point to the Old One for being accurate and down to earth and 2 points to JodieO for immeadiately seeing the awesome literary possibilities!

      • BeaDee

        You are correct. Thus the question. Rephrased: If an observant Jew is changed into a vampire, would they bother with proper slaughter practices or just decide it was futile to try to comply with any of the rules since they’re eating blood anyway?

        • TeamSeth

           It all begins with a choice…

          • MariaCecilia

            Ooo, I love how you can be twilosophical and twi-nerdy all at once!

  • MarbleNutSlut

    I love this post because it references the epicness of the cheesewheel lady. and because I super want that bag. And because Guri (how DO you pronounce that?) is really cute on his blog. ADORBS. 

  • http://twitter.com/GuriWeinberg Guri Weinberg

    Ladies, ladies, ladies…please allow me to answer your questions from above…

    1) Nobody. CLEARLY.

    2) That might be awkward…

    3) Haven’t been compared to the Stefan from Vampire Diaries yet…*fingers crossed*

    4) At the risk of TMI, my wife DOES ask me to role play. Once,  she asked me to be the girls at LTT…talk about CREEPY…I mean…what?

    5) Just the areas he can’t reach…I mean…what?

    6) Comments left about me on LTT are fairly easy to pick up on without google alert…most likely because I’ve only been mentioned once…see the answer to question number one for clarification.

    7) I am Israeli. At this risk of promoting stereotypes, I cannot point you in the direction of bagels (they bind me) but I CAN point you in the direction of fantastic take out Chinese food…and bomb sniffing dogs…

    8) ‘Jerry’ is WAY better than ‘Random Volturi Guard Dude’, so I actually am cool with that…

    9) Slutty Twilight fans? I can never tell who’s who. I was under the impression that the REALLY slutty fans were the ones that contemplated flashing Rami Malek…

    10) I had not considered nippleclamps…*note to self*

    I still love you guys. Secretly. Because of the almost flashing Rami Malek thing…

    xoxo
    Guri

    • http://letterstotwilight.com UnintendedChoice

      jerry: i LOL at #4 and i never LOL or type “LOL” so you win.

      but boo about the bagels. if you ever come to philly I know an amaaazzzing israeli restaurant xx

    • TeamSeth

       Okay, what’s a Rami Malek? Is that some sort of Israeli code for Egyptian vampire?

    • JodieO

      Dude. You’re such a good sport that I’m slow clapping you. 

      WAIT… that didn’t sound right… 

      • MariaCecilia

        As long as you don’t clap him on the head condescendingly I think every actor loves applause…

    • MariaCecilia

      At the risk of butting in and seeming impolite:
      4) Don’t worry, your wife is merely turning into a Krisbian. Next thing, she will want you to role play Kristen Stewart to her Nikki Reed. And then you can invite KStewBoy into the mix. Hey, presto! Forget nipple clamps…

      • TeamSeth

         It’s always a good time when KStewBoy is there!

        • MarbleNutSlut

           True, but I think KSB would like the nipple clamps, he just doesn’t know it yet.

          • Sisterpenguin

            Where’s KSB???? I’m just about to watch a KStew interview…

          • http://letterstokristen.wordpress.com/ KStewBoy

            It’s Friday night ladies – I’m safely at home drunk in Suburbia. 
            And just who IS this guy?!

            And MSN, I’m not sure about nipple clamps – but I’m open to new things (he says after 7 German beers).

            And SissyP, stop gloating about being able to see Miss Thing on the BBC!  Color me JEALOUS!

    • http://twitter.com/lliillaa Lila Hayes

      OMG, I think I am suddenly Team Guri… or Stefan. I love celebrities who play along (not like that lame guy who won’t take a picture of himself with twine for the Bloggess).

      Hey, if you can get your wife to role play as the Stefan from Vampire Diaries then the next thing you can do is role play as 50 (since he’s publicly said he wants the role) which means you’re actually Edward. WIN!!!

    • Goldberrybecca

       Cool guy playing along with LTTer’s FTW! :-)

      ps. its the right side to be on.

    • JustthetipEH

      Yay! I heart good sports! We snark because we love. 

    • Themoonisdown

      #9 – Flashing Rami Malek while he drives a black prius in a pork pie hat is NOT slutty, it’s just common sense. 

      also this comment “I still love you guys. Secretly. Because of the almost flashing Rami Malek thing…”   now makes me think he’s gay. and i’m sad. say it ain’t so jerry. oh and bring rami with you next november. 

    • http://www.juliemartinwallace.blogspot.com/ Julie

      I’m Team Jerry now… thanks for the funny responses. 

  • Stacey

    This was a fantastic post, girls! I love the tee shirt ideas!

    Funny coincidence, Team Seth did a twitter interview with him that Snow White Drifted have up on Talk Supe. Team Seth is amazing, by the way. I bow down to her writing skills and how she can get celebrities to do her bidding.

    Here’s the link to the blog if anyone wants to check out her awesome questions and his good answers. (However, I want Team Seth to do an Ian Somerhalder and Peter Facinelli Twitter interview. Those two would completely do it!) http://www.talksupe.wordpress.com

    • TeamSeth

       Neither ever responds to me on twitter, so… we’ll see. Wait, I guess that doesn’t promote the illusion that celebrities do my bidding. 

      Super Guri Friday, like the Super Moon, but not. (say it with jazz hands)

      • MariaCecilia

        Celebrities will do your bidding…eventually. Forever is only the beginning, remember? *bowing*

        • TeamSeth

           I like to tell my husband that forever is a long time.

          • ladyofthemeadow

            I hope he tells you that you are amazing :)

  • TeamSeth

    btw, UC/Moon I’m likin’ the technology pop up you got going on now ;)

    • http://letterstotwilight.com UnintendedChoice

      thank you.. we’re so hip

  • MariaCecilia

    I guess I’m a Very Bad Fan, because I had absolutely no idea who Jerry was? Then again, I have trouble keeping up with what Kristen and Rob are doing (nothing. duh.) and I wouldn’t know if Nikki got a divorce or if Peter is seeing anyone. (Not me, that’s for sure, sadly.)
    I would ask Jerry: “Since your character is supposed to be really ancient and have disgusting, papery skin, did you need to wear a prosthetic or did the complexion come naturally?” (Oooo, burn.)

    • TeamSeth

       the papery skin thing still bothers me from NM. Shouldn’t they just be OLDER looking?  *bothered*

      • BeaDee

        *Twinerd Alert* No, because sparklepires never age; they look papery because they’ve been sitting on their tuchuses letting everything be brought to them for too long. Of course, we don’t find this out until BD.

        • TeamSeth

           BUT they’re described as papery thin skin in NM. Yet in the film… fail.  #ohwell

          • MarbleNutSlut

             Super Old vamps in most stories (Buffy, Anne Rice, etc.) get all weird after a while, usually because, yeah, they get bored and end up sitting on their tuchuses and somehow change their changeless selves. I don’t know why; it seems to be a “thing” though.

          • BeaDee

            Yeah… it wasn’t the first time the Twi makeup department failed, nor was it the last. A good dusting with chalk powder would have worked if ALL the vamps didn’t already look like that.

  • JodieO

    Is it bad that I read “Hey LTTers GFYS” as “Hey LTTers Go Fuck Your Self”? 

    How rude.

    • MariaCecilia

      Is it a sign that I’m getting cross-eyed that I keep reading the word “heifers” in your sentence there somewhere? #(

      • JodieO

        Are you calling me fat?!  Well i never!

        • MariaCecilia

          Don’t mind me – I’m just cross-eyed I guess.. (gross-eyed?)

          • Sisterpenguin

            Or is that boss-eyed?
            (just playing on words – you is always gorgeous to me)

    • TeamSeth

       No. It’s bad that you didn’t immediately go masturbate after reading it. (yeah, okay, you’ll have to read my interview with Guri)

      • JodieO

        Uhhhh…. I think I’m gonna pass on that.. 

    • JustthetipEH

      Wait, thats not what it means?

    • Keisha

      Wait, what does GFYS mean? I musta been following Go Fug Yourself too long

    • http://letterstotwilight.com UnintendedChoice

      wait.. it DOES mean GFYS
      it’s a joke that the new vamps had on set.
      i’m confused.
      are you drunk?
      Am I drunk?
      are you wearing loo-bee-tons?

      • JodieO

        Wait, that’s really what it means?? HAA HAA.. joke fail. I suck. I thought it was all ISF type real.  Like the Guri For Your Soul foundation or something. 

        I guess I should try clicking on your links from time to time… 

        • http://letterstotwilight.com UnintendedChoice

          GFYS

          • JodieO

            Go For Your Stars? OK!

        • TeamSeth

           Hopefully the masturbation joke makes sense now.

          • MariaCecilia

            Masturbation jokes always make total sense – on LTT..

          • http://letterstokristen.wordpress.com/ KStewBoy

            I love TeamSeth, and all masturbation jokes.

      • MariaCecilia

        We are all drunk, cross-eyed AND perfectly normal! DCEAPN!

  • MrsKowski

    Are you SURE you didn’t make the cheese wheel thing up??

    That tote could definitely double as a briefcase.

    • Themoonisdown

      i wish we were weird/awesome/gross enough to make that story up. 

  • http://twitter.com/smirked MeL Lark 

    I see all of you coming up with you’re own GFYS slogans…there is a contest that’s actually running right now on the facebook page…for GFYS4Charity lol

    PS I’m one of the blog sluts ;)

    • JodieO

      You kids today have sluts for everything!

  • Jellybeanrinbow

    Guri, have you ever met Chlsea Handler? She’s a big GFYS user. I’m sure she’d love your charity.

  • Kindred Spirit

    So, Jerry, when you read that Benjamin was an “earth mover,” did you get the wrong idea?

  • JellyBeanRainbow

    Guri, do you know what Epic Robsten Love is? Have you ever witnessed it ( took photos or movies?)? Do you know it’s happening right now as of this moment somewhere in England in some castle or maybe in London? But there’s a Guri Weinberg Super Friday going on here and on Talk Supe blog, soooo, it’s official, as of today, you’re bigger than Robsten.

  • celestialchic

    Ooooooo, burn! FTW. Awesome Blossom. In my best Jerry (Guri) Seinfield voice “Newman.”

  • JodieO

    Wow… a fight in the comments and no one even mentioned Kstew or Nikki Reed?  I don’t understand!

  • ladyofthemeadow

    Oy, since when did LTT become a platform for making Guri accountable/attacking him? Newman, you’re new here. I’m not in a position to judge whether your concerns about charity expenses and revenues are valid or not, but I do know that here on LTT we rather like to be witty, fun, and gentle with each other. And Guri. 

    • MarbleNutSlut

       **holds Lady’s hand**
      **discusses the mention of Blow Jobs (who gets them? Who gives them? Did Guri offer me a blow job and I missed it?)**
      **mind snuggles Guri**

  • http://letterstotwilight.com UnintendedChoice

    hi hi! someone crazy was let in on LTT accidentally so i deleted all record of him/her/it… so if you commented in regards to him/her/it i deleted that too xoxoxoxo

    • JodieO

      Whoo! That should be the T-shirt slogan: 

      UC sez: Don’t mess with Jerry!

    • ladyofthemeadow

      He needed to take his fight to another playground. We have play nice rules in ours.

      • TeamSeth

         I like our sandbox.

        • Sisterpenguin

          And we don’t like it when the stray cat messes in it, so there *tongue poke*

          • http://letterstokristen.wordpress.com/ KStewBoy

            I was all like “what’s the deal with LTT?  Did someone replace my regular LTT with insane version for a hidden camera commercial?! Am I being Punk’d?  And I still don’t know who Ghurhi is….”

          • TeamSeth

             I don’t know who Ghuri is either.

          • TeamSeth

             Fail. Add another ‘h’.

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