Well hello there, Ladies (and gentleman).
White Yorkie here, everybody’s favorite unicorn… Well, everybody’s favorite other than the Font, but I lost him in the crowd at BronyCon (trust me, click on that link) this year, so you’re stuck with me.As you may be aware, Ashley Greene is near and dear to my heart. Soon after writing this post yesterday, I looked at my clock and realized 9 hours had passed. And then I looked at my screen and realized I had 25 ¾ pages of meandering (yet heartfelt) love sonnets. I’ll spare you that and instead say this:
If it were up to me, all the films would focus on Alice and not this other chick Blecha or whoever-the-crap. At the very least she should get her own Saturday morning cartoon spinoff series: The Adventures of Alice Cullen & Friends. It would be Masters of The Universe meets Muppet Babies. Or Darkwing Duck meets Eek! The Cat. Or The Snorks meets NYPD Blue. You understand.
The real point is, this week both me and Ashley Greene will be at San Diego Comic-Con. Now some might look at this situation and say to themselves, “Yeah, sure. I could possibly maybe might see the love of my life from like a brajillion feet away. We’re only separated by 5,000 sweaty mouth-breathers. What a good day.” But no. White Yorkie ain’t having that shit. I see this as the perfect opportunity to fulfill a lifelong dream.
I’m gonna make breakfast for Ashley Greene.
And trust me… you (talking to Ashley now) are in for a treat.
Girl, I can make you eggs. Sunnyside up? You bet. Poached? Ain’t no thang. Scrambled? Child, please. You like ‘em a little runny? I got you covered.
Girl, I can make you toast. I’ll be slicing a loaf of whole grain (gluten free if you’re into that sorta thing) to the beat of Father John Misty like it’s my J-O-B.
Girl, I can blend the shit out of fresh fruit and greens. Yeah, I’m talk’n smoothies. Mangos? You bet your sweet ass. Kale? I ain’t scurred. You like ‘em super green with Dandelion Greens and Chard? I’m your huckleberry. (Plus I’ll bring my Vitamix 5200 so you know I’m not messing around.)
We can talk about “movies” versus “films.” The intricacies of Robyn. Even the implications of the God Particle if you’re feeling especially sciency.
Alright, so here’s the deal LTTers. I need your help. You might be asking why I deserve it. The truth is, I don’t. But what mere human really deserves the company of this beauty?
The real answer to that question is “none alive.” But today’s answer is “White Yorkie.”
Basically what I’m asking you to do is to spend the next few days leading up to Comic-Con twitter-bombing Ashley Greene. Just a little note letting her know that I’m ready and willing. Something like:
White Yorkie wants to make you breakfast at Comic-Con! He’s so dreamy and junk!
I really wish I had guys the caliber of White Yorkie wanting to make me breakfast! Swoon!
When White Yorkie makes you breakfast pretty please take pics! OMFGROTFLCOPTER!
Just be sure to #brunchingashleygreene
You can also take a picture like this one and throw it on the ol’ Instagram and tag Ashley in it.
I will return from my adventures with extensive writings, photos, and perhaps even video. And I will also be forever in your debt, Interwebs. That means I owe you Italian food and at least a trip to second base the next time you’re in town.
Okay, here’s all the important details:
When: Comic-Con 2012 in San Diego. Thursday-Sunday. My schedule is flexible.
Where: LTT headquarters in the Gaslamp District. It’s legit swank.
Who: White Yorkie, Moon, Ashley Greene.
How: twitter: @ashleymgreene
Please help me in my quest to brunch Ashley Greene.
White Yorkie out.
**Yup, that’s right White Yorkie along with me and BrookeLockhart will be at Comic Con tearing it up on your behalf at all the Twilight events as well as all the other bizarro crap we’re into and will report on over at That’s Normal. So make White Yorkie’s day and tweet the crap out of Ashley Greene cause really, ya never know what will happen. Also if you’ll be at Comic Con stay tuned to our Twitter @Letter2Twilight because we might just be going something cool and what you there! **