Kristen has her “Eat, Pray, Love” moment *sigh*

Look it says “Follow your bliss” next to a picture of Deepak Chopra!

Dear Kristen-

You are far too young to be having an “Eat, Pray, Love” moment right now. I get that you’ve had it pretty rough the last few weeks (though probably not totally undeserved) but “finding your truth” is best left to the girls my age who’ve worked in LA for about 5 years and realized they’re NOT going to meet Robert Pattinson by being Agent X’s 2nd assistant in charge of his coffee and dry cleaning and then they take off for Thailand for 2 months and burn every career bridge in the quest to “follow their bliss.”

The news about you not even READING Eat, Pray, Love but that after WATCHING Eat, Pray, Love with Julie Roberts you became interested in Gandhi and his writings which it totally weird to me because I really don’t remember Gandhi even being mentioned in that movie. And furthermore, if you’re getting off on Gandhi let’s remember he was a Hindu and they believer in the power of Karmic retribution and you might REALLY want to think about what you’ve put out there and what you might get back.

Oregano?

Instead of posting up in the “Spirituality” section of Barnes and Noble and creating a “Vision Board” with pictures of Jodi Foster and puppy dogs and Emily the Strange stickers in your quest to “visualize” your future maybe you should just own up to getting caught and then go watch something like “Friday Night Lights” and cry and think about how much you can learn from a real woman like Tami Taylor and not from Julia Roberts’s character who uses and abuses.

So Rupert Sanders may have “found his true north” in a mini cooper but giiiiirrll there’s more to life than a rerun of Eat, Pray, Love on Starz at 2 in the morning. I believe in you!

Namaste!
Themoonisdown

PS Kristen, it’s really shitty that the holy trinity won’t be at the final fan convention. Like REALLY. Way to screw that up.

Source: Radar (take it with a grain of salt, y’all!)

  • http://www.facebook.com/jamiealtman35 Jamie Howard Altman

    they were never going to be there to begin with so there wasnt anything to screw up. not everything is her fault. people dont ever blame rupert just her,i dont get it….

    • TeamJacobEdward

      People have interest in Kristen’s betrayal because it was Ron. They don’t really know or care about Rupert or Liberty. Sure as a general “married man cheated on his wife” people think he’s a no good two-timing, whatever. Kristen just gets the brunt of it because of who it was she cheated on with.
      I’m not saying it’s fair because, Ruppert was married so I personally beleve that makes him the bigger offender. But while I feel for Liberty because it would kill me if I was in her shoes, I, like many people, barely know of her.

    • OhRob!

      You mean Rufus?

  • MarbleNutSlut

    I think all 22 year olds go through some sort of hippie “self actualization” bullshit thing, right? Ghandi and Led Zepplin and reading way too much weird Wiccan books…mine was those terrible Carlos Casteneda books about living in the desert and doing peyote. She’ll get over it. Or she’ll start her own book club like Oprah. OMG I kind of want that to happen.

    …I think I need more coffee.

    • TeamJacobEdward

      Yeah, it’s the age. They’re trying to figure it all out and it seems to be a natural progression to go through that to do so… some never leave it, some move on to something else.
      I kind of hope she does go total hippie chick and stays there. That would be fun to see her go from potty mouth, to “peace and love man.”

      • MariaCecilia

        Actually, I think those two (potty mouth and peace&love) are not mutually exclusive…

    • TeamSeth

      I always thought it was like… age 19-21 was the self actualization mode, and then age 25-27 was the “What the heck am I doing with my life?” quarter-life crisis mode. The first takes one from immaturity to idealism, and the latter takes one from idealism to the cold hard truth of reality: you and your life are not really all the bloody important, so sit down and shut up. Reading On the Road thus occurs most influentially at age 19-21, and then at age 25-27, you realize reading should just be enjoyable and not pretentious, because what people think about you just actually doesn’t matter.

      She did make On the Road, maybe that triggered the chain of events that led us to Thailand. She’s not really going to Thailand is she? I’d love to go to Thailand. But unfortunately I have this thing called reality to handle. Once that fails to work out, perhaps I can convince my husband to go to Thailand for 2 months with me. He’s already a yogi, so it shouldn’t be as hard as I know it will be.

      Also, does anyone know when On the Road comes out? Isn’t someone on here a big TomStu fan?

      • MariaCecilia

        Umm, I think the US gets it 21 Dec? I watched On the Road a week ago (it came out in July here) and it was pretty to look at but so-so. I never liked the book very much (It’s a guy book and I’m too much of a feminist, I guess) and Salles is just gushing all over himself, loving the book, which makes the movie less interesting than it could have been. Meh. More than a week before I can watch Cosmopolis, though…gaah!

        • MarbleNutSlut

          OTR (the book) was okay, I see what you mean about it being masculine, but I liked it. I grew up near where he did, so maybe we have a bit of an affinity. :)

          I think Cosmopolis is a much more masculine book, especially as far as the dialogue goes. Saw it last weekend, BTW, and it was fabulous. Weird, you know. Cronenberg and all, but I’m good with weird. ;)

    • MariaCecilia

      You actually READ those Castaneda books? God knows I tried, I had a “cool” boyfriend when I was 17 who claimed they were good, but no. Boring. I got stuck on The Catcher in the Rye and Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance around 18 instead. But then next year I was all about The Denial of Death. I recommend that to Kristen and her new book club for some perspective. What can I say, people do mature?

      • MarbleNutSlut

        I read I think 3 of them? They are so awful, but I had friends who were super into them so I powered through. Pretentious shit. Oh, the only way to be a real person is to quit everything and live in the desert and fucking meditate on peyote your whole life? Okay. BRB hallucinating.

        • MariaCecilia

          It wasn’t until Bella quit everything and left the desert to come live under perpetual cloud and rain that she met her heart’s desire. Oh, and a guy who got high meditating on the scent of her blood. This just proves your point.

          • TeamSeth

            quote of the day!

  • TeamJacobEdward

    First no holy trinity at the convention and then there will be no epic finale on the BD PII DVD with the trinity with Steph sitting and chatting commentary through BD PII when the DVD comes out making me laugh so hard tears come to my eyes. I’ve been waiting for some more silly Rob commentary to laugh at since the Twi DVD came out and have been banking on it happening in BD II. Now I know I won’t get it.

    Thanks for ruining everything Kristen.

    • TeamSeth

      First it’s the grammar, then it’s the spelling…

      But really, I would just love a Peter Lambert / Chris Weitz commentary again. Or even Bill Condon and Greg Yolen. That would fine, and clearly more relevant. God I love Chris/Peter commentary. There’s even a tumblr committed to it! (don’t ask me to find it, I’m not very skilled with tumblr)

      • TeamSeth
      • TeamSeth

        Oh! This one is in theme with Eat Pray Love post!
        http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lxrtrx3bhl1r8j140o1_500.jpg

        “Dalai Lama? HUGE twihard!” Thank you, Peter. xx

      • TeamJacobEdward

        lol
        Yeah, Bill would be cool (you know, like purple). But I want more of this:
        –Twilight with Commentary:–
        Edward asks Bella: Ask me the most basic question. What do we eat?
        Rob: Cheeseburgers!
        (me: giggling even now)

        …and this is why I want more Ron commentary.

        • TeamSeth

          (yawn) Nope, I’ll take Peter Lambert of Rob any day.

          • TeamSeth

            over Rob. Whatever. Make a sex joke if you want.

          • TeamJacobEdward

            MNS is better with that. I’ll leave it o her.
            MNS?

          • TeamJacobEdward

            Hmmm… well, you have self-proclaimed to not really get the whole love of Rob, so…. I’m sticking with my wish.
            Now, if this Peter guy wants to join in and share some laughs, well, now I’m cool with that.
            (MNS? Insert joke here too…)

          • MariaCecilia

            This whole “I don’t care”-crap: she’s just using it as a distraction technique, like when you catch a cat. You know, make Rob think you don’t care about him, and THEN, when he feels safe and starts licking his paws, you pounce on him and put him in the bag. Wily, TeamSeth.

      • MariaCecilia

        ..not to mention Michael Sheens incomprehensible Italian (yeah I was feeling low so I re-watched New Moon, and now I’m cranky) Is there any tumblr covering that?

        • TeamSeth

          I don’t know. I always fall asleep by then. I think it’s just some crap about him playing it as camp as possible.

    • TeamJacobEdward

      We have “dislike” now and no hate for that yet? I would have thought someone would have seen my comment and been offended not catching my snarky sarcasm.
      Fine. I “downthumbed” myself for this comment for old time’s sake.

      • TeamJacobEdward

        hahahahaha, my “downthumb” didn’t stick.
        Maybe that’s the problem…

    • emt

      I think that Summit should make Rob and Kristen do the commentary. They were in different places during the the Eclipse commentary. Can you imagine the little snide remarks that can be captured. Rob: “Wow, you are a good actress” (during sex scenes – which I am hoping for btw). I just wish that Kristen could have waited until after BD2 to get caught so that we could have ended the Twilight series without all this drama.

  • Papercut

    “Namaste”….OMG you guys crack me up and for that, I say “thank you”. If Kristen wants to do some soul searching that’s fab, great, wonderful for her just please don’t do it in public….I think you’ve done enough in public for a little while, ‘kay? Just sayin;….

    • TeamSeth

      I concur. Regardless of any public affairs fiascoes of late, soul searching should be left to the confines of your brain, soul, third eye, and a year’s worth of witty tumblr posts.

      • TeamJacobEdward

        “Like” for using concur. I don’t know why, but I love that word. Inexplicable love… you know, like with my love of Twilight.
        Just like everything else, I can somehow tie it into Twilight.

        • MariaCecilia

          Using “concur” in everyday conversation is Normal. Just like introducing Twilight into self-same conversation.

  • TeamSeth

    She is going to the premiere right? Because I want her to sign my The Dingo Ate Your Baby movie poster.

    • MariaCecilia

      They are not dingos, stupid! They’re wolves – huge wolves!

  • Vemom

    My phone jumped into a box of kosher salt after it realized I could only read half the radar article without getting nauseous.

  • MariaCecilia

    What do you mean “the final” fan convention??? I plan to have my own little fan convention here with you guys every week for the up and coming…say fifteen years or so. (By that time the holy trinity won’t be half as busy and will start waxing nostalgic about their old fan base, so they’ll attend too.) Did you have something else planned? I’ll “namaste” anyone who protests, just so you know…

    • MarbleNutSlut

      I so agree. Star Trek never quit and neither will we! Twicon 2050!!!

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