The Breaking Dawn standoff- we know what it’s about
Dear Breaking Dawn,
I saw this new EPIC FINALE IMAGE (side note: will the word EPIC ever stop being used so EPICALLY?) and immediately disregarded the “Breaking Dawn Coming Soon” text that was in between the two groups. I mean like anyone actually thinks they’re having a STAND OFF over a bunch of words.
Was Michael Sheen like “Oh no! Beller told me that the movie comes out on the 21sth. That little liar” And Beller is like “I REALLY wish they came up with something more creative than BREAKING DAWN PART 2 like “THIS MOVIE IS ALL ABOUT BELLER BEING A KICK A VAMPIRE, BIATCHES” ”
Riggght like anyone believes THAT’S what they’re doing here. It’s clear they are racing towards something… and it’s obvious what it is:
They want to talk to UC & Moon FIRST on the red carpet duh!
Other options if it isn’t US they’re racing towards (but it is):
- They could be trying to be first to volunteer as tribute
- They could be racing to the hair department on set to find the least worst wig
- They could be racing to save the ROBSTEN bear-skin rug from the incinerator the moving company is about to use back from when Rob hired them to remove all Kristen’s stuff. Remember when ROBSTEN was broken??
- They could be running away from Jackson after he asked for a volunteer for diaper duty
- Maybe they are running to be on time for Kellan’s Bible Study
- They might have heard that the Olive Garden has a new happy hour
- I bet they REALLY are running towards the EPIC LTT party we’re throwing on 11/11 (location TBD (But LA) be there)
- Maybe they are running towards their nearest airport to burn all the 50 Shades of Grey books.
Sidenote: Summit has made BILLIONS off this movie and they’re still using interns to create their photos? Or…. nevermind interns would be better.. they’re using the studi owner’s mom and her 2003 version of Microsoft publisher, right? THEY MADE THAT GUY FROM PUSHING DAISIES LOOK TERRIBLE, GUYS.