Ye Rustic Inn and Denim Cut Offs and Public Reconciliation

Yes, those are icicle Christmas lights! Klassy!

Dear Rob and Kristen,

So we’re 30 days out from the last movie and you two decided to get back together. Sure you’re not even living together which pretty much tells us everything we need to know about this reunion. I do want to say, however, that I appreciate that you choose Ye Rustic Inn for your first (totally not staged) reunion in public for so many reasons.

First off Ye Rustic is about a block from my first apt in LA and was the site of so many dumb crazy nights. Second the Rustic is a dirty greasy shit hole with a loud ass juke box and gross carpet and old dudes. I appreciate that you chose this dump to show the world your rekindled love because really what could better represent your relationship at this point them a greasy dump? Yup, nothing.

Palace of love!

I spent about 2 minutes wondering if you ordered a basket of their wings and if you got beer or a crappy mixed drink. And is Kristen 21 yet? When did that happen and how did I forget? Also Did you sit in one of those circular booths and feed quarters into the joke box so that the entire AC/DC discography would play? And then later did you stumble across the street to play darts at (the equally fabulous shit hole) The Drawing Room and complete the journey from sober paparazzi outing to totally shit faced illusion of love?

I’m only sad I wasn’t there to see the looks on the faces of the regulars as they sat on their bar stools and gave you the side eye. But I’m glad you included a famous local dive in your tour de love you’ve had over the last few days. I’m sure they’re gonna get a ton of business in a few weeks! BMC (before Mini Cooper) you guys were hardly seen out together so many times in one week but not now! But I guess with 30 days left… ain’t no time to lose!

Forgot something?

Also lunch out the next day? You two are working this public reconciliation thing hard! Nice try yall! Oh and KStew? Button your freaking pants up. It might have been hot the past few days here in LA, but this isn’t MTV Spring Break 1995 and you don’t have one of those sun/dolphin tattoos circling your belly button. Thanks.

Off to get some wings!
Moon

  • BrookeLockart

    Whoa. It’s like old, old school LTT up in here.

  • janetrigs

    Stunt Queens, NICE!

  • http://twitter.com/_Freya Freya

    Couldn’t have said it better myself. Moon brings the snark.

  • ROBPATTZ_WIFEY

    TeeeeHeee

  • http://www.facebook.com/tamela.plaine Tamela Plaine

    Loved this!

  • Bec

    *still laughing which I’m sure will only increase when the shippers come in and remind you all of the epic love story this is* Love the snark :) I’m Tories going to be in LA for a whole 48hrs next March…guess I’ll now have a fabulous watering home to add to my must visit sites!

  • MariaCecilia

    Be gentle. Either Kristen had too many chicken wings, or there was some heavy making out going on in that booth before she stepped outside. Lol I know I would prefer to be distracted from my surroundings, sitting in that dump! Yeah, bring on the sarcasm – I feel you. 30 days to go, and I don’t know if I’m in tears or smiling anymore.

  • http://twitter.com/TroysMyAngel Savy the #GFYS Minx

    no she has to keep her pants unbuttoned cuz its all part of the reunion! its showing that shes ready to drop trow for Rob at any moment. easy access even when shes in the car with him.

  • minuit

    aww memories!!! come back for the promo, you know there will be goodness. (P.S. I just saw a speech. I hope it’s b/c i’m really tired)

  • Robjunkie

    Aaah, it’s ye olde robsten magicness again. Onward to the premiere of awkwardness!

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Rachel-Entzminger-Lloyd/1615552341 Rachel Entzminger-Lloyd

    Julia (13) knows that I am shamefully “hooked” on Rob & Kristen to have a real relationship of my own. I blame her for having a Twilight themed 11th Birthday Party .She out grow them and I DIDN’T. I so love this article. I’m in tears laughing …..Love you guys!

  • kitcam

    I can not WAIT to see what you have to say about the new photos that just came out. Even better than the unbuttoned shorts for sure. I mean Bear is gettin some action and Kristen has more wardrobe malfunctions than ever before, all in the same shot.

  • vixb

    Um. 1st of all. Carpet? In a bar? Classy. 2nd. Is Kstews next gig a cameo on Honey Boo Boo bc she looks super trashy. Finally, I think maybe she does have the dolphin circle tattoo. She got it in Panama City the same day she bought the Corona bikini.

  • JellyBeanRainbow

    Any photos from your ‘many dumb crazy nights’ Moon?

  • http://www.facebook.com/theresa.eben.3 Theresa Eben

    she needs to keep her pants unbuttoned because she had to many beers.

  • BeaDee

    I’m wearing my pants like that these days, but it’s because I’m four months pregnant so they won’t button, but maternity pants are still too big. That’s the only good reason I can think of for anyone to dress like that post-2001.
    P.S. I started to tie a knot in my daughter’s too-big t-shirt the other day but had to stop because it made me giggle uncontrollably.
    Classiness aside, it is rather nice to see them hobo-ed out again. All that Balenciaga promo and going to the ballet to support his buddy Natalie Portman (!) had me wondering who those Hollywood stars were and what they’d done with our non-showering crazy kids. It was like I didn’t even know them. Oh wait… I don’t.

  • pattygirl

    Dear Moon, I will go the Obama way campaign ;

    FACT : Robert Pattinson doesn’t have a publicist

    FACT : The Screw has a PR team who makes sure that she is in magazine covers and the media all year round (seriously??) Guess who call the paps??

  • Willow

    Seriously… You guys are soo lame.
    You used to be funny, these days not so much, just late to the party and well, just lame. Talk about illusions of grandeur!

    • Nelle

      Uh- duh- it’s “delusions” of grandeur. Get your insulting cliches right!

    • http://letterstotwilight.com unintendedchoice

      THANK YOU FOR THE COMPLIMENT!!!!!!!

    • http://letterstotwilight.com UnintendedChoice

      I’m pretty sure I responded thanking you for this wonderful comment, but LTT seems to have eaten it. THANK YOU FOR THIS WONDERFUL COMPLIMENT

      • Willow

        You’re welcome!

  • kstewboy

    Sorry, what was this post about? I missed it entirely… I’m pretty sure I was hypnotized by some kind of mind-altering power emanating from Kristen’s wide open fly. The effects are just now wearing off. I have a pleasant buzz all over my body.

  • youweregone

    yeeey,bring on the snark! have you seen the balenciaga interview? Epic lameness. I am sooo loking forward to the new and improved unbroken robsten and the promotion! Thank you guys. As BrookeLockart said old school LTT !

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