Found in the LTT inbox….

Dear Twilight,

Not only did I get a sickness to end all sicknesses (not really, but I’m a big baby when it comes to pain or getting sick & I was pretty damn sick for about 5 days) but then I had to travel for work, so to say I’m lost when it comes to what is going on in the inter-workings of the fandom right now is an understatement (but besides the inevitable Robsten vs. Nonsten Twitter brawl & maybe a drunk tweet or two from Billy Burke, I bet I’ve missed nothing) So I’m so glad we have such a great group of readers who e-mail us (despite our now terribly embarrassing delayed response time) with stuff they come across in their daily lives.  Here is what I learned about what has happened recently in the world of Twilight:

More like “Super Gay”

Christina sent us this picture from the March 2011 issue if Cosmopolitan magazine. No- it’s not a “100 new positions to try so that your vampire husband doesn’t break your vagina” guide. Nor a “10 ways to remember your birth control when you go on your husband with your Vampire husband” list. It was titled “Superheroes We Wish Existed.” Christina lamented that this is getting slightly out of control and a little bit on the flamer side. I agree:

Wolfpire

(Don't they mean 1/2 Edward & 1/2 Jacob?)

Twilight invades our non-Twilight Lives

I don’t watch Parks & Recreation but I heard that they were planning on getting in some good Twilight jabs in last week’s episode. They did. And I laughed:

Fan Vids Bring it all back

I love fan vids & haven’t seen a good one in so long. I was so happy to have this emailed to us this weekend! GOOD fan vids are amazing- they bring back those feelings that sometimes seem so lost about the saga. They remind me why I loved it in the first place- Edward & Bella. I know this isn’t a unanimous thought about Eclipse, but I didn’t feel like it captured the real passion between Edward & Bella. I’m not sure the movies have really portrayed the love that Stephenie writes about in the books. But do you know what does? Fan videos. And they use the same clips as the movies. It’s just something about the way they are edited together & the music chosen along with the scenes- it reminds me what the story is actually about! So TIP FOR SUMMIT- pick your favorite fan video maker (or hey- run a contest!!) and give the winner access to specific scenes in Breaking Dawn- and have them create a video FOR the fans. A promo video that WE will love! DO IT DO IT! (If this doesn’t remind you why you love/loved Twilight- you don’t have a soul. You’re like Edward. Except not as hot. Probably. Unless you are as hot. Then send a pic)

2nd hand Embarrassment fail

Lastly, I always love opening the mail (electronically) and being 2nd-hand embarrassed by one of your horrible Twi-art finds.  When this one was described to me, I couldn’t WAIT to see it! My Little Pony decorated like the Twilight book covers? What could be more embarrassing?

Turns out I’m not embarrassed & I kinda want it for my collection. What happened to me? My childhood self & adult-self worlds are colliding! These little ponies are incredible!!

What’s next? Am I going to confess to owning Twilight-painted Chuck Taylors & a Cullen Boys Track Suit?

Until next time (with hopefully some real Twilight news!)

UnintendedChoice

Have you seen anything marvelous/horrible/interesting lately? Tell me how much you loved that fan vid!!

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTR, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

72 Commented


Admitting you like Twilight.. on NATIONAL TV?

Dear Twilight,

We got an email from friend Shannon the other day & I got quite Twilosophical when thinking about what she wrote:

UC & Moon-

So I was reading the bios for the upcoming bachelor season. (I use to be an avid watcher but I’m sitting this season out) That said, the bios crack me up! I love their AWESOME literary suggestions as well *sarcasm.* I mean I love me some Twilight (thus why I read your blog every day and am emailing you this) but I would never claim that it is my favorite book. There are a few girls who take claim to it.

This is my most favorite one:

Please love her excellent spelling skills! *sarcasm*

Lisa M. is 100% completely RIGHT. Except about her spelling of Stephenie’s name. But admitting it? On National TV? (Let alone a TV show where you want to end up taking home a husband!?) Would I do that? Forgetting the fact that I did it on web TV and then also on regional TV and talked about it in a New Zealand Magazine, would I do it if I were on the Bachelor? Or, say, on a cooking show. Or say HGTV answers my cry for help to please please PLEASE decorate my sad-looking 750 sq. foot loft & asks me about the stack of Twilight “stuff” sitting in the corner by my desk. Would I fess up to my love? Or would I just try to pass it off like it’s a book I read “this one time” and never thought of again?

Olivia on Biggest Loser does it. (Or wait.. Maybe she hasn’t admitted it but we’ve just made enough noise (Plus there’s a Letters 2 Team Purple you have to be reading) that she can’t deny it!) In fact, LOTS of celebs & people in media admit their love. Jimmy Fallon FANBOYS over anything Twi! What’s my problem? Why do I think I wouldn’t go all-out and admit that I go crazy for this stuff!? I asked Moon & she wanted me to put it in context. Am I talking when she wins Barbara Walter’s Most Fascinating person of 2011? Or Being interviewed by the news cameras after the next drive-by shooting that happens when she’s hanging out in East LA? I told her to imagine she was being interviewed by her hero- Conan:

Well, I’d play it a lot differently of rob was next to me, but I’d admit to liking Twi. And I’d try to play it cool. (like, i would yello ZOMG jacob!!!I#W()#($ TEAM SPARKLEPEEN!!!!) But It’s Conan. He’s get it. If anyone would, HE would! I trust Coco!

So after MUCH Twilosophical thinking (like 7 minutes) I’ve decided this: If I had never started this blog, I would NOT have a problem admitting that I love Twilight SO much and cried multiple times, fell in love with Edward immediately & didn’t talk to my family for 5 days at the beach because of it. And that’s because I would just be a normal fan- who squees at pics of Eddy & Bella in Bed and doesn’t know that there are actual fans out there who have the phrase “I love to masturbate” written in their twitter profiles doing just THAT to the picture. But the thing is.. I do know about that. I do know things I wish I didn’t know about the fandom. I have seen the MAJOR GOOD but also the bad. and the ugly. And so sometimes it makes me ashamed.

But then again- such incredible things have happened to me as a result of this blog so…. watch what I’m about to do right here….I would admit it. And Proudly. But… with a sidenote- It wouldn’t be: “I’m just a girl who likes Twilight” but would be, “I love Twilight because it’s a great story AND it’s brought wonderful people into my life & given me great, fun opportunities I wouldn’t trade for the world- no, not even the crazy bad, ugly stories. But if you want to hear any, oh do I have SOME to share!” Aww.. cute! Then Jimmy Fallon & I would hi-five. Oprah would give me a house in the Caribbean & Paula Dean would make me cupcakes with 5 sicks of butter & 3 packs of bacon.

Love,
UnintendedChoice

So imagine YOU’RE on National TV. First off, what show are you on. And secondly, how are you gonna admit that you like Twilight? How DETAILED will you get!?

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTR, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

82 Commented


75 (give or take) Reasons I may or may not be a Twihard

You might be a Twilight fan if... you've taken a photo like this

Dear LTT-ers,

We get the best emails from you guys, funny, cute, sad, sweet, touching, weird, head scratchers and down right, WTF’s in our inbox all the time and though we can’t always respond to every one we love them just the same, so when this email containing reasons you might be a Twilight addict came through our inbox courtesy of Em of M I thought I’d give it a whirl and see if I was truly a Twihard or just normal (aka the same). AAANNNDDD I just saw Blue Valentine and I’m still trying to process what the HALE I just saw so a list it is……………

A bunch of Reasons You Might Be a Twilight/Rob/Edward Addict: (edited for size)

1. You dream about Edward regularly. – Actually I don’t think I’ve EVER had an Edward or Twilight related dream which is weird considering how I talk about this stuff every day. Or maybe this IS all a dream! Ohhh Inception moment yall!

2. You dream about Rob regularly. – I can honestly say I think I’ve only ever had ONE dream with Rob in it and TomStu was there too. I’ll let you take that however you want to.

3. You always order mushroom ravioli every time you go to Olive Garden. – The “Tour of Italy” and the unlimited Soup, Salad and Breaksticks just like Big Daddy would, aka the 15.95 colonic.

4. You wear t-shirts with Edward’s face on it. - As the blog Gods and you all are my witnesses I have and will NEVER wear Edward’d face across my boobs. Now Jasper and/or Jacob on a motorcycle, as a joke……. MAYBE.

You might be a Twilight fan if... you own any of this shiz (all of it!)

5. All your usernames and passwords are Twilight-related. – That might explained why we were hacked a few months back. The bored hackers in Eastern Europe knew our love of Edward and obviously guessed our passwords were cu11enluvr108 and 3dwardanth0nymasenb3s4f3.

6. You regularly quote the books and movies. – If “Be Safe,” “They’re not bears,” “Let’s do this,” and “Purple’s cool” is quoting the movies then YES, a big yes.

7. You are used to the strange looks you get when you quote the books and movies in public. - I write a blog about Twilight if someone thinks me saying “Be Safe” is weird, they are in for a BIG surprise.

8. You draw pictures of Edward when you should be paying attention in class. – Well seeing as I’m an adult I draw them on my grocery shopping list and in the margins of the internet bill.

9. You start using words like chagrin, murmur, and dazzle all the time. – You forget my favorites: glower, irrevocably, and Renesmee.

You might be a Twilight fan if... you know who these guys are

10. You visit your favorite bookmarked Twi-sites at least once a day, but you’re usually online all day, waiting for updates. - I should probably erase my browsing history on my work computer if I want to keep my job… but maybe it’s my silent plea for help or maybe I just want to be fired for “Twilight related offenses.” Let’s see which one the unemployment secretary believes.

12. You’ve named pets or inanimate objects after Edward, Rob or other characters from the series. – Our beta fish is named Napoleon and we tell him to “come get some ham” when we throw the pellets in his bowl. I have boundaries people!

13. You’ve named your children after Edward, Rob or one of the other characters from the series. - No but it’s one of the stipulations I put on  my match.com profile. And yet I haven’t gotten any responses…. curious.

14. Whenever you meet someone from Arizona, you ask them, “How you likin’ da rain, girl?” – No but my MOM said that to me one time when I went home (to AZ) for a visit. TRUE STORY!

15. You think ‘Spider-monkey’ is a great pet-name for your significant other. – I could punch whoever wrote that line.

16. You bought a bracelet or a ring just like Bella’s (and not the fugly engagement ring, the other one she wears on her index finger) and wear them proudly. – Do they sell this at Hot Topic or should I wait till the next TwiCon rolls through town?

17. You carry a copy of one of the books wherever you go, and you bring the whole set with you when you go on vacation. – I’d like to get laid in the next decade, thanks.

18. You’ve made a personalized license plate out of Rob’s or Edward’s names. – Yup: AKL-3295 is totally code for something Rob/Edward related.

20. You wrote a serious paper for class about the series. – I write a blog called Letters to Twilight EVERY DAY (sorta) does that count?

You might be a Twilight fan if... you're in this picture

21. You fantasize that Rob and/or Edward is in love with you. - Wait, is this is a bad thing?

22. You practice your ‘dazzling’ look in the mirror. – I’m doing it right now, can you see?

23. You’ve spent long hours wondering about what Jacob and Renes-whatever’s children are going to look like. -I spent hours trying to figure out how to spell her name.

25. You’ve made jorts from a pair of jeans. - I do live in Hipsterville area of Los Angeles, DUH. This is a requirement upon moving into this neighborhood: jorts, weird facial hair, no bra, smokes a pack a day, rides a fixie and listens to bands no one’s ever heard of.

26. You act out scenes from the books with your friends, significant other, and stuffed animals (if they’re needed for those loads and loads of extra characters in Breaking Dawn.) – Only on my LARPing weekends. I’m Celeste Donavon from the Port Charles coven.

29. You hope to run into Cougar Cathy whenever you go to TGIFridays. – I live for this possibility… and the hope that maybe she’ll give me Jamaican vacation braids while showing me THE AUDITION tape on repeat.

30. You hope to run into Big Daddy Lautner whenever you go to Olive Garden. – See above only this time I hope he gives me a big bear hug and teaches me the finer points of choosing which sauce and pasta combo on the Endless Pasta bowl menu item leaves the most room for dessert.

31. You have multiple sets of the books and multiple versions of the movies. – Obviously everyone needs a “loaner” set. DUH.

You might be a Twilight fan if... you've made something like this

33. You read the books that Stephenie says inspired her when writing: for Twilight, Pride and Prejudice, for New Moon, Romeo and Juliet, for Eclipse, Wuthering Heights, and for Breaking Dawn, The Merchant of Venice and Midsummer Night’s Dream. – Yes, it’s called required reading in high school and college lit classes.

34. You cried when Buttcrack Santa died in Twilight. – I sobbed.

35. Every time you have a dream, you try to write a best-selling, teen-sensation, multi-million-dollar story based off of it. – Your lips to God’s (or Little Brown’s) ears…

36. You’ve attended Comic Con just because Rob was going to be there. - I used to attend for work, now I just use work as a cover for my real motives: losing my hearing to 50 year old women screaming out “ROB  show me your sparklepeen!”

39. You like for your significant other to hitch your leg whenever you two are gettin’ cozy. – Yea, it’s weird when Rob asks me to stop requesting that move though. Kinda kills the mood.

41. Your diet consists mostly of Heineken and Hot Pockets. – More like Diet Coke and Twilight conversations hearts and Sky chocolate bars with the Cullen crest on them.

So, I guess you could say I’m sort of a Twilight fan from the facts listed above. I mean you haven’t really lived until you’ve photoshopped some actors head on a dude in a drive through window or coming out of a porta potty or on a dude with a mullet. And you also haven’t lived till you’ve eaten your weight in nasty conversation hearts while quoting the Twilight movies with the girl you blog about Twilight with… I mean yea, I’m sort of a fan…. maybe.

Ok, I’m a fan, you caught me.
Themoonisdown

It’s funny how we can simultaneously say yes and HALE no to the same question about whether we’re a fan or not. Any you would like to add? Throw ‘em in the comments.

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTR, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

94 Commented


Breaking down THE bed picture- you know, the underwhelming one….

Dear Breaking Dawn,

Moon & I started breaking dawn THE BED picture, and then ended up just creeping each other out. Hope you enjoy!

OMG OMG OMG I’M UNDERWHELMED

UC: OMG OMG OMG OMG… did you see it? The most over-hyped underwhelming picture of Edward & Bella in BED of the year!?
Moon: why yes, yes i did- i tweeted it out like an hr later. and then sat around and watched the crazy descend
UC: way to be on TOP of it (ahem) on top like Edward. Missionary style what whatttt!!
Moon: Bella’s first time
UC: Question: when you thought about yourself as Bella, doing it with Edward for the first time, because you know you did, how did you envision it? Missionary? I know you save your doggy style fantasizing for your Jake fantasies..
Moon: doesn’t Stephenie describe it as missionary in the book?? Cause he doesn’t want to crush her?
UC: does she GET that descriptive? Oh yes… the crushing….
Moon: ps the fact we’re breaking down the position is disturbing for any family members or friends reading
UC: sorry to all of them. but it’s SERIOUS, and we discuss SERIOUS things
Moon: and YET you’d think if he didn’t want to crush her it’d be the other way around
UC: also isn’t missionary best for baby-making? ? and since they make a baby (SPOILER ALERT)… or is that a myth
I will google it: Ah- Informative

“You may have heard that positions that deposit the sperm closest to the cervix — such as the missionary position (man on top) — are more promising than other positions. But there are no studies to back this up.”

thank you babycenter.com. but getting back to our fantasies.. I’m trying to think……
Moon: so wrong. isn’t everything about sex made up? it seems….
UC: I think so.
Moon: i mean if urban dictionary hasn’t heard of it than it can’t be true

Less Sex than on CSI

UC: right. So there’s that… Edward’s on top.. Big surprise. Are we jaded & t hat’s why we weren’t overwhelmed like it seemed the entirety of twitter was by this?
Moon: well i mean i guess i was underwhelmed cause its like we already know this happens, right? We’ve all read the books. they do it.
UC: right…. i know… i think we’ve built it up more in our minds… and at the end of the day… it’s just sex. And it’s going to be less sex than we generally see on an episode of CSI (believe me, I watched like 12 in the last few days i’ve been sick)
Moon: Or maybe we’re underwhelmed because it wasn’t on a bear skin rug. And even if its really Edward and Bella, Kristen and Rob should insist on any LOVE MAKING being on an animal hide
UC: I KNOW- it should be in their contracts. It should be wolf skin- just to stick it a little to Jacob
Moon: the fireplace is negotiable. The rug, NOT. It should be on a white wolf skin- the rarest of all! Suck it jacob!!
UC: have fun waiting 18 years for the zygote growing inside of me to grow up so you can get it on with her
Moon: HHAHAHA
UC: I just became Bella there.. in case you couldn’t tell
Moon: poor jacob. his life is the epitome of a “true love waits” campaign
UC: haha So true.. he’ll have to ask Kellan for tips
Moon: maybe kellan has given taylor pointers on how this works best
UC: jinx

The one where Faith Hill did it first

Moon: ALSO maybe it’s not ZOMG for us because it’s something thats pretty straightforward and less something we don’t know how it will turn out- like maybe if it was from the transformation or birth or something with Renesmee it’d be diff
UC: right…. they do it… it’s a glowing sunlit morning…. the sheets are beige….
Moon: I’d even say the feathers were better because it left so much to the imagination
UC: I’m thinking of another sex scene where you see a lot of beige translucent sheets….Wait..i’m pretty sure it’s Faith Hill’s video for “Breathe” but it might be from a movie…
Moon: and PS this is clearly from the same shoot with the feathers. give us something NEW!
UC: that’s how the scene always played out in my mind… and the hand with feathers, and now this, is proving even more to me that it will be that.. we’ll see the back of Edward- with Bella’s hand clasping at his skin…. maybe he’ll turn her on top for a second… a translucent beige sheet (or canopy from the bed) will fall and we’ll just see their outline.. and then up close shots of their mouths… all to a really kick ass song…like how the Sia song fit during the leg hitch scene
Moon: exactly. It will be all very tastefully and not crazy intense
UC: you’re right. no surprise.
Moon: cause this is a family film, and it will NOT be some crazy s&m, fan fic scenario. So everyone should ACCEPT it now
UC: ACCEPT IT NOW!
Moon: save the crazy shiz for after Bella’s is an indestructible vampire. She’d be more down for whips once he can’t kill her accidentally
UC: What this scene WILL be is great fodder for Robsten video makers. So we have that to look forward to!!
Moon: Dude bill condon already turned it sepia for them!! they’re half way there! All they need is an awkward song from celine dion and clips from a soft core porn and its done!

More after the jump! Continue…

198 Commented


Storytime with Moon: People’s Choice Awards 2011

R: OMG we're at a People's Choice Awards... K: just smile.... T: HAHAHAOMGHA

Dear LTT-ers,

Wednesday night I hoofed it all the way from West Hollywood to Downtown LA to attend the People’s Choice Awards with @bitemebaker and the lovely gals from Twilightish. Sadly, the drivers of LA did NOT know where I was headed and decided to hold up traffic like it was Sunday driving time with their grandma’s. Didn’t they know I had to see whether the trinity would  take pity on us poor poor sad bored fans and give us a little tiny clip of something from Breaking Dawn, ANYTHING? Well spoiler alert: They didn’t! And didn’t the drivers of LA know I needed to get to the Nokia Theater to see whether Kid Rock would wear leather or fur? Spoiler Alert: he wore BOTH (swoon/vom.). No, they didn’t but maybe the driver’s of LA knew I didn’t need to see Selena Gomez “perform” whatever her song is and didn’t need to see Johnny Depp not show up to accept an award that Rob didn’t win. So as it turns out the drivers of LA know me pretty well and getting to the awards almost an hour late was perfect because I sat down right as AnnaLynn McCord was coming out to present! Oh memories…. I was hoping she’d get an award for People’s Choice for best deep throating of a fruit or vegetable but sadly she lost. I mean she presented something else.

Never thought I'd say Ashley Tisdale was the luckiest girl on the stroll last night

So it must be known that the trinity wasn’t ushered in till right before Kristen’s award where they shuffled in whoever was going to win next to sit in the front row with the only semi celeb they could get to show up and stay in the audience: Ashley Tisdale. So either the Summit private jet was late in arriving or Rob, Kristen and Taylor had WAY more fun getting plastered (on virgin cocktails of course) at the open bar backstage with Jenny Anisten. Easy choice.

How did we spot them you ask? Well I noticed good ol Dean standing down in the front row and I was like wow that big dude looks like Dean and maybe that guy sitting down kinda has Taylor’s complexion… and wow, is that Kristen’s hair and ok that must be Rob in that weird tan colored jacket. Wait, doesn’t he know it’s January, aren’t there some kind of fashion rule about that? Then I stopped talking to myself and we all stood up to get a better look and twwwwweeeet.

Move bitch, get out the way!

They sat down on the front row and any time a commercial break happened Dean would stand up and then like 10 dudes would rush in from stage right and surround them. It became clear why this was necessary when some girl made an ill prepared attempt at trying to meet the trinity and instead got one-hand-Heismen-trophy-posed out of the way by Dean. It was amazing. And then sad because the trinity has to be protected like the latest shipment of Air Jordans to your local Foot Locker. Then I remembered they make a billion gajillion dollars and a felt less sad for them.

This is what it looked like when I took a covert cell phone shot. MOooohahahaha
(Please love the care and precision with which this image was made)

So then finally Kristen won the award for best actress or whatever and Taylor became my favorite by helping Kristen up the stairs by taking her hand. Start some conspiracies yall, just cause I love them so much! It’s a PR ploy you guys! It’s really Taysten! Krislor lives! Ok, whatever Kristen goes up there and thanks everyone blah blah blah.

Another commercial break and Queen Latifah breaks through Dean and the defensive line down front to say hi to the Trinity.

and then we were witness to one of the more embarrassing moments of the twidom.

I know it’s all in good fun and it’s Queen Latifah trying to be cute and MAN are those guys good sports (give the trinity snaps) but seriously? Cause I was 2nd hand embarrassed and I was like hundreds feet away from them and I was shrinking in my seat. It was embarrassing as a Twifan. ugh. We are not all lunatics (says the twiblogger).

Is this really happening to us??

Mercifully some producer saves us all and wrestles the mic away from Queen Latifah so someone could give out an award. At this point the trinity was not being ushered out so I knew we had to be at the end of the show and it was pretty clear Twilight “won” for best movie. I mean it’s the People’s Choice awards they give the award to whoever shows up.

Ashton Kutcher took a night off filming Canon Camera commercials to come give away an award with Princess Amidala and SHOCKER Twilight WON!!!! ZOMG!!! I had no idea it would!!!!!

The trinity ascended to the stage and thankfully Rob recognized his and Kristen’s lack of public speaking prowess and pushed Taylor up to accept the award. Taylor recited his lines correctly but BONUS he made an awkward refrence to Katy Perry’s joke/euphamism about the awards being heavy like her boobs. UMMMM awkward turtle!!! Either Taylor got the joke or he made it even funnier by NOT getting the boob reference. Either way WIN. Then I crossed my fingers Taylor would surprise us with a teeeny tiny clip, a flash, a picture ANYTHING from Breaking Dawn but alas. NOTHING. Help us out Summit!! The natives are getting restless! I’m scared!

I'd like to thank John Stamos without whom this outfit would NOT be possible!

Next, Kristen said some stuff and her dress strap fell while talking and Taylor, being the gentleman he is, rushed to push it up. CONSPIRACY!!! PLOYS!!!! (anyone, anyone?!). Then Rob said some stuff and thanked John Stamos for letting him raid the “Jesse Catsopulous Closet” while he was at the party last summer.  Then they all got on a private jet parked on the roof of the Nokia and flew back to the town with no cameras, paparazzi or internet access, better known as Baton Rouge.

The end.

Congrats to Twilight for winning some People’s Choice Awards! Now give me a set picture and no one get’s hurt.
Themoonisdown

Did you watch? Were you in ANYWAY surprised they won? Were you making hoping JUST A LITTLE that there would be something special? Did you feel box blocked? Also share your conspiracy theories!

Thanks Eclipsemovie.org, Robsessed, whoever tagged some of these photos, Twilightish

Oh- we ruled at blogging today and BOTH posted on LTT- so don’t miss the other letter for today!

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTR, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

142 Commented


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