Only Taylor Should’ve Played Jacob: Guess the wolf’s outta the bag

One thing I love about LTT-friend Team Seth is that she doesn’t “get” Rob Pattinson. She reminds me that the fandom is SO varied and not everyone thinks every single Twilight actor is God’s gift to the us & the world! Today she leads us in an appreciation of Taylor Lautner:

Taylor's got committment

Dear Taylor,

First off, major high five! Second, I know that we here on LTT sometimes, oftentimes, make fun of you for silly things like meat patties and catching grapes while doing back flips, but honestly we’re all behind you. It’s a matter of you being underage when we first got to know you, then you were smoking hot and we all felt dirty, like when your friend’s little brother turns 17 and it’s suddenly like “Wow, where did he come from?” Like Jeremy in Vampire Diaries, except that Bonnie isn’t over 18. Anyway, you can understand that I’m sure. Chris Hansen is creepy, you know. Plus, I know that we tend to talk more about your dad and how much we want to have sit downs with him over bread sticks and unlimited soup and salad lunch, and we don’t really want you there. I know that’s a little rude. But we stood by you through Swiftner! We accepted you after seeing Shark Boy and Lava Girl with our 7 year olds. And on a personal note, I HATE the Red Wings, but I’m willing to accept that you’re a fan due to where you’re from. That’s fine. I get it, really I do. (Go Canucks!)

But, I want to just get down to it and say, you’re the only one of the trilogy who really put your all into the role. And bravo for that! I’m so tired of people defending Rob for his mediocre efforts at becoming Sparta. This is Sparta. But you nailed it! You put in the effort. You ate meat patties and put in the gym time to get an 12-pak washboard ab set. You bulked up. You tried, and you kept it up. You respect C-Dubs’ wishes and followed through. Which is a truly classy and professional thing to do. You wore jorts in British Columbia other than in July heat waves. With rain pouring down on you. You committed. Rob did NOT commit. And I’m done, I am so done with these women who say that he has a Spartacus body in New Moon. He does not. He actually looks totally creepy. Like wtforks is this?

Sure there’s no pot belly, nor does he look like a topless Billy Burke (sorry, Billy, still love you!) But he’s gray and completely lacking pectorals and arm muscles. Seriously, where are his pecs? He looks like a fourteen year old! And I’m not knocking on Rob’s hotness, just his lack of commitment to the role.

No one's gonna argue about THIS

Sure, call him the HHH, ladies. Do what you must. I’ll agree, this is hot, and of course his NM shirtless moment is EONS ahead of this (shudder!). But the role commitment is just not there. Not like you, Taylor. And since there’s an entire site dedicated to letters to Rob and his hobo chic awesomeness (or whatever), I want you to know that you and your efforts are appreciated.

I know you’re not doubting your mad skills given the amount of big girl panties that have been thrown in your face. But honestly, Taylor, I think you’re the only one who nailed it. You ARE Jacob. I can’t imagine anyone but you as Jake… maybe put you on stilts, but other than that…and that’s just a technicality. And you and I both know that I’m not Team Jacob, that I don’t think Jacob and Bella should be together, and that I don’t lust after you in bed at night (that’s reserved for David Tennant and Ian Smolderholder).

"I want to thank Disney... for teaching me to smile & speak like a robot..."

But I respect you. Maybe you’re not “world’s best actor”, but that’s fine. You’re young and Disney channel groomed, and having worked at Disney myself for a few years, I know what that’s about. I get it. I understand your overtly PC and vague responses, your extremely bright smile, and your uncomfortableness with answering questions in a creative way. I totally understand, because I’ve been through that training too. It’s fine. And I don’t care if you come out in a year or so, or if you’re actually straight. I just don’t care, because you nailed it as Jacob. And I really think here on LTT we overlook that.

Not only did you commit physically to the role, you also worked with the ebb and flow of Jacob’s emotions. You made the switch when the wig came off. Jacob transformed from a sweet little Native American boy into a man. A man who wouldn’t accept that Bella didn’t appreciate him or recognize her feelings for him. That she was too caught up in her memory of Mr. Gray Marble Sparklepeen who LEFT HER for no real reason (that he happened to mention at the time) to even take notice of the fact that she was more or less gonna make out with you like 20 different times. Kind of ridiculous, right? Anyway, you as an actor took that energy, that longing to be human again and that werewolf rage, and you made it real. Believable. I applaud you. So, when we discussed who should’ve played Bella, I felt we ought to mention the fact that only YOU should’ve played Jacob.

Just friends

But I’ll close with this, Taylor. If you can pull off the relationship I envisioned between Jake and Nessie when reading the books, which was quite tasteful and sweet, then I think you might deserve a Best Supporting for that, and NOT at the MTV Awards, but at some real awards show. If anyone is trained and ready to field all the underage sexy times interview questions involving the supposed toddler love, it’s you, Taylor. You’ll laugh, look down, then back up with a serious face and say something along the lines of,

“Well, actually Jacob’s just imprinted on her. Imprinting doesn’t mean you have romantic feelings for the person, just that you understand her exact needs. It’s kind of like an intuition. So, if Renesme, say, wants to play My Little Ponies, Jacob will anticipate this need. It’s nothing romantic, it’s like he’s her awesome babysitter who totally gets her. As she grows up and her needs change, he will anticipate this too. So ultimately they will most likely end up together, but that’s in the far future.”

Then interviewer will then ask, “So, Edward might be Jacob’s father-in-law, is that going to be weird given the past between you guys?” and you will say, “No, I mean, isn’t that what every father wants for his daughter–a husband who will treat her exceptionally well and always love her and provide her with what she wants?” I have full faith in you, kid. So, keep on keepin’ on! And just think, your meat patty days are quickly coming to a close!

With high regards,

Team Seth

What do you think? Is Taylor going to do us proud with his portrayal of Jacob? Will Chris Hansen be on stand-by, waiting for his moment to knock on Taylor’s trailer door?

Contest Update: Moon & I haven’t had time to talk ALL WEEKEND LONG so we haven’t picked a winner from last week’s contest yet! We will pick shortly & announce the winner soon! THANKS to everyone who has entered. The entries we’ve read so far are amazing & it’s hard to choose a favorite!

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTR, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

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Appreciation Sunday: Nikki Reed

Dear Nikki Reed,

No, it’s not April Fool’s day and YES, we mean YOU Nikki Reed. We are going to be appreciating you this Sunday for our reoccurring post Appreciation Sunday. I know you’re probably pretty surprised but we do have a lot to be appreciative about when it comes to you… so let’s get started shall we?

We appreciate…

Your body
While some of the gals in Twilight have the bodies of 13 year old boys giiirrrrrrl you got some curves in all the right places. I can’t lie I was super jelly of your booty in that vampire baseball uniform. Thanks for keeping it real for the rest of us and all I can say is: You better WORK girl.
c
Paris Latsis
I think I speak for all woman kind when I thank you for falling on this grenade. Poor poor Paris spent an unfortunate amount of time with a one Miss Paris Hilton and for that well, he’s considered unclean and probably lacking a little in the mental facilities BUT he did find you and you both seem to be happy and while he has looked like a member of Color Me Bad in the past, he IS a greek shipping heir so I gotta hand it to you boyfriend who owns yachts that sail around GREECE ain’t too shabby. Well played my dear.

Find out what else we appreciate about Nikki Reed after the jump
Continue…

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Taylor Lautner Appreciation Sunday

IllegalWolfLover has never hid the fact that she’s a MAJOR, MAJOR Taylor Lautner fan! She does it again with a great letter for Taylor Lautner Appreciation Sunday!

Dear Taylor Lautner,

It’s me again. Surprised? (No, please take your finger off the speed dial to Dateline, it’s not that kind of letter…it will be after February, but that’s another story altogether)

I read on Ace Showbiz that you wanted to be considered a serious actor rather than a piece of meat and that you don’t want to take your shirt off ever again. I totally agree. We should look at you the same way we do Rob, as a well-rounded actor, singer and athlete (ok so maybe Rob doesn’t do that…). So in order to respect your wishes, I will hereby only look at you with your clothes on (this also may change in February). In keeping with my oath and also to spread the love of Taylor Re-clothed, I decided to share from my personal stash of Taycob Porn  random pics I found on the internet of you in all your clothed glory.

We appreciate you trying hard to be hobo-Tay and failing…miserably

We appreciate you being part of the holy threesome…

We appreciate the shout-out to Edward….way to rock the pea-coat…

(Now if only Rob would return the favour )

We appreciate you making the sour-puss smile….(urgh..snake skin)

We appreciate how you can make us believe we’re right there with you… even though it’s wrong and we’re all going to hell….

We appreciate your dedication to the role…

We appreciate you holding your own next to his holy hotness…

And finally

We appreciate that you clean up nice…REEEAAL NIICE!!!

Oh and before I forget

We appreciate you for giving us the wonder that is Big Daddy…(or vice versa…)

I think I defeated my purpose of appreciating you in the right way, but at least we didn’t ask you take your shirt off….

p.s.  stop talking about your body altogether…every time a reporter asks you about it…whistle, walk away, say “have mercy”, do the “cut-it-out” sign or make Rob take his shirt off…instant dodge! And never under any circumstance say things like “I did it for the fans”, “it’s cold in Vancouver when you’ve got no clothes on” or “I hope you guys like it”.

What? You already said that? Well then….good luck keeping your shirt buddy…

Wondering why there are cops at my door,
Me (Illegalwolflover)

Look at us! We can appreciate Taylor even when he has his shirt ON!

One Year later and our internet game is still ridiculous (and our Kung Fu is STILL strong): The Forum, LTR, Twitter

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Become friends with UC & Moon: See Rob. And other stuff…

Oh hai there 8 pack, only 63 days until your birthday too. Take that Chris Hansen!)

Yep- you’re seeing this right. This is our second post of the day AGAIN! (See the first here) We asked a few of our readers turned real-life friends to talk about what LTT/LTR means to them. Today is Chelsea’s turn!

Dear Bunny & Noreen (aka I won’t give away your real names),

Congratulations on making it to the one year mark! A Happy Birthday of sorts.

I wish I could say that I was one of your OG’s (Old Girls, the ones who have been a part of it since the start) but as things are, I joined on pretty close to the start. I don’t know when or how I came across your lovely blog, but I know it was pretty early on. I used to do some stuff for Will over at NewMoonMovie, and I remember seeing you mentioned on his site, I also think I stumbled upon you one day with StumbleUpon, (or ADD for the interwebs as I like to call it.) But I digress.

Bet I can make that Kitty Meow

The important thing is, I found you. Angles sang. The clouds parted and the snark began to flow. Suddenly, LTT and LTR became a part of my everyday routine. I had to check it each day to see what new pearl of sarcasm had been dropped. Finally! People who thought about the same weird things in the books! Who also found the same things ridonkulously cheesy in the film as I did!

And the Friendship begins!

Thanks to Bunny and Noreen, I’ve made a ton of new friends too. And not just the invisible kind! The first time I met up with anyone from LTT/LTR was at a Sam Bradley show up in LA. It was myself, my friend Lauren, Vicky, Aja, and Noreen herself. Zomg I was so excited to meet ½ of the awesomeness behind LTT & LTR! (Cause you two are totes Awesome) Sam was fun, we laughed at all of the girls there *cough Goth Maria VonTrapp cough*, spotted Decoy Rob, and I asked Sam Bradley out and totes scared him away.  (Moon’s story from that night)

From then on things just got worse. I went to ComicCon with Moon and the other girls in July. I may have bitten her when Rob walked on stage because I was so excited.

LA LAdies at Midnight

I laughed so hard putting those little red ribbons on everyone!

Through Moon I met Ashley, who is totes my BFF now. I also got to be a part of the fabulous #LALadies gathering this November for the New Moon Premiere. (Insert pic of us at theater in front of the eclipse poster, cause I don’t have that one either) These women, whom I knew only from Twitter and the Forum, are now my friends. People I count on and look forward to talking to, even if it is just a quick “Hi!” on twitter. Carter, Lili, Val, Kristy, Jess, Jena, Phyllis, Jen, Darja, Moon, UC, Cynthia, Emily, and anyone I may have left out! You are all my friends, whether you like it or not!

Letters to Twilight and Letters to Rob have become a pretty big part of my life, not just the blog, but everything and everyone that surrounds it. I see these girls almost every weekend now. We have sleepovers. We do stuff that isn’t Twi-related at all…but not often. We made friends with the paparazzi who may or may not tell us where Rob is staying so we can casually have brunch at his hotel in hopes of running into him.

So yeah, Bunny & Noreen, UC & Moon, thank you for all that you do in the name of Letters to Twilight. Here’s to making the next year even better!

Let’s Do This!

Chelsea

Follow Chelsea on Twitter!

Thanks, Chels! We love you and are so glad our crazy little blog brought you into our life! And I (UC) am so glad I finally got to hug you in person this past November! I still think those other shoes looked better with that dress though.. :) jk jk jk XO

Don’t forget this is our 2nd-post of the day! I know, we’re crazytimes this week. Read the first one below (or here if you like to click) Don’t miss it. There’s a Giveaway (yes, another!) Let’s say it together: “They’re NOT Bears!”

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What LTT has meant to me: From the mouths of our 'fanbase'

2nd- post of the day alert! We asked a select few people to write a few words about what LTT/LTR has meant to them over the past year. Today we hear from two of our first 3 commenters! Staring with Christa- who we still lovingly refer to as “our fanbase” (anyone know what that is from!?)

Dear UC and Themoonisdown,

I can’t thank you enough for the last year. I’ve been laughing with you ever since I found you a year ago. Real Life has been calling lately and I haven’t been around as much, but I sneak back whenever I can to catch up on my TwiLOLz. You really are the best!

I wanted to write something funny and really hit one out of the park for you, but I find myself feeling a bit sentimental as I write this, so I’m going to tell you what I love about you. How do I love LTT? Let me count the ways.
  1. I love that when I am down, all I have to do is go to LTT or LTR for a laugh. You have never let me down.
  2. I love that when I found you I thought, “These girls are a riot. I hope they keep writing.” Not only have you kept it up, but I have gotten to watch your site grow beyond my wildest expectations.
  3. I love that after a year you’re still posting all things Twilight and keeping it fresh. That’s talent!
  4. I love that you’re so dang funny. You may think this is the same as #1 but it’s not. Lots of people make me laugh on a daily basis. You’re particular brand of humor is special. It’s witty, intelligent, and snarky, yet you will stoop to just plain silly when it’s called for. I dig that.
  5. I love that you are bringing people together online and in real life.
  6. I love that you not only have fun contests but that the fake prizes are often better than winning a real prize. I’ve caught myself thinking, “Oh man, I wish I had that fake prize.”
  7. I love that you work so well together, trade off writing for both sites, and often give two different perspectives.
  8. I love you for creating a venue where “sicknast”, “lamespice”, “AmanDUH”, and “Unicorns” can be used without explanation.
  9. I love that you go to crazy Twilight events and post about your experiences, so that I don’t have to.
  10. I love that we can count on you to Break It Down Vanity Fair Style.
I was going to stop at 10 but I think I’ll turn it up to 11.
11.   Most of all I love that we can give you our crazy and you tell us That’s Normal.
Love,

Your #1 Fan ‘86 Rabbit

And from VickyB
, who found us soon after Christa did. We have both been blessed to meet Vicky many times in real life and can call her a real-life friend!!

Pocket Edward welcomes UC to San Diego

This is how I met VickyB for the first time!

Dear LTR/LTT,

I was honored to receive an email inviting me to share what you mean to me on your special day. I can’t believe it’s been a year. A whole year of my life…and Rob’s. You have done so many things for me I don’t know where to start. You’ve taught me how to laugh (at myself and others) again. You’ve taught me that it is indeed completely #normal to play with dolls. I think my first letter was of my paper Rob doll (that was before I realized they sold actual dolls…like REAL dolls). You have made it possible for me to meet some amazing people *coughnotrobcough* but I know this one will take time.

Being a part of this little family, because seriously, I love two (Moon and UC) more than the sisters I never had, means so much to me. Without it I would actually have to do work…at work and we know how much that blows. I have come to fully appreciate the plaid. When I wore it the first time back in 1991, ugh, I didn’t fully appreciate it’s awesomeness. Now? I do. It’s hard to put this all into words. So I think I will close with a simple Haiku:

Before there was you
I knew not of the sex hair
Now I have come close

Love always and Happy effin’ Birthday LTR/LTT,

vickyb

This is our 2nd post of the day- Yes. We’re serious. Like Tweed. Read the first post here

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