Everything you’ve ever wanted or not wanted to know about Guri Weinberg:

Dear Guri Weinberg,

In light of this part on your recent blog post about Moon, myself & LTT:

BENIGN? Whoa. We’re sorry. That shouldn’t have happened. We’ll take that as a challenge to up our game big time. With that in mind we’ve decided to dedicate a post to YOU & are calling it “Everything you’ve ever wanted or not wanted to know about Geri Weinberg.” The problem is, there is very little we actually know about you since you stiffed us on the black carpet last November & walked right on by. We get it though– Moon was too busy yelling Rob’s name all night and you probably really anxious to get to the green room where all the celebs get to snack on hors devours like Twilight conversation hearts and little baggies of meat.

Anyway, had you taken the time to stop by & be interviewed by the one & only LTT, we would have been able to find out everything we’ve every wanted to know or not know about you. Here are some of the questions we had prepared:

1. Ugh… who are you again?

2. Now that we’ve established that you’re the guy playing the Romanian vampire, we’re going to whip out a globe & ask you to point to Romania.

3. How many times has your Stefan the vampire been compared to Stefan Salvatore from Vampire Diaries so far? Are we the first to point out that you’re both named Stefan. You both have dark hair & you’re both vampires?

4. Does your wife, Tammy, ever make you role play as Stefan Salvatore instead of Stefan the Romanian? Does she make you role play as Edward Cullen? Carlisle Cullen? Anyone?

5. You know that other guy you play opposite as the Romanian Vampire– Vladamir? Well, his hair is creepishly white- albino almost. We’re wondering– does he make you bleach his hair for him since he can’t reach every area?

6. Do you have a google alert set up for you name? Otherwise how do you know every time we mention you?

7. We hear you’re Israeli. I don’t know if it works the same way as my New York & Philly Jewish friends, but they can always point me in the direction of a good bagel. Moon insists there aren’t any good bagel joints in LA, and I don’t believe her. What’s your favorite?

8. How the eff do you say your name? Gury? Geri? Gory? gERie? guuuurie?? It seems really complicated so if you’re cool we’re just gonna call you Jerry.

9. What’s with the slutty girls at the top of your blog post the other day? You know that Twilight fans are super chaste & not slutty at al. Nor are they into badly written fan fiction porn or anything like that.

10. You’re all into charity with your GFYS 4 charity site, and we think that’s pretty cool. There’s even this “create your own tshirt/product/thong” section that’s pretty fun. Have you created anything on your site in regards to nipple clamps & a cheese wheel? Or would we be the first?

We have a few design ideas:

We also came up with this design, sure to be a best-seller:

Well by now you either love us more or hate us because we’re finally living up to our expectations. So we beat you to it & made the t-shirt you really want to make:

You’re welcome!

Love,
UnintededChoice & theMoonisDown

This could be YOURS!

Okay all: we know you really want to get to know Guri aka JERRY Weinberg, so we’re having a little contest– best, funniest question for Guri in the comments wins your very own, one-of-a-kind, unique LTT-GFYS for charity bag from the Jer-ster’s website. Andddddd go!

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83 Commented

The REAL reason behind the Breaking Dawn Part 2 Reshoots

Life is like a Twilight Puzzle...

Dear Breaking Dawn Part 2,

We heard this announcement from Bill Condon last week:

A film is a lot like a puzzle, with each piece – each shot, no matter how brief – needing to fit exactly with the ones around it. Our Part Two puzzle is finally coming into full view, and in a few weeks we’ll be heading back north to pick up some additional shots – the last tiny missing pieces.

Despite the fact that Bill addressed us like a Daddy addressing his little worried children to ease our fears that our perfect ending to our favorite story might possibly not be the perfect after all, you have to remember we can always read through the lines of any announcement right?  And while Bill might just refer to it as a “missing puzzle piece,” we know better. We know you’re missing something pretty huge for this final film. But let me remind you that we like Twilight, the original film. Buttcrack Santa, his little bottles, horrible wigs & all. So really? Breaking Dawn Part 1 was the best movie yet. And we actually liked Twilight, so you’re gonna be fineeeeeee. I mean.. as long as you fix one of the following reasons you might possibly be holding reshoots:

• Someone thought it would be funny to switch everyone’s real scripts out with re-written scripts where the movie ends, not with a face off of the good vamps vs. Volturi with the good vamps protected by Bella’s magnetic shield, but with a epic battle occurring between good and evil, where each side suffers a tragedy. Jasper doesn’t make it. Neither does Esme or Seth the wolf. It wasn’t until Stephenie saw the first cut that someone realized a BIG, expensive practical joke was played.

• Stephenie, after spending the summer in England, feels about Downton Abbey even more strongly than we do (she visited the set 3 times) and insisted Bill somehow integrate Dan Stevens (Matthew Crowley) into the movie. Stephenie– I hear ya but feel it’s only appropriate you also write me into a role playing opposite Dan. I need to movie make-out with him pronto.

• Breathing a sigh of relief after achieving their main objective in Breaking Dawn Part 1 (Make Edward & Bella sex scene look nothing like a Robsten sex scene), the team forgot to write in a single sex scene for Breaking Dawn Part 2. Worried about a threat against Bill Condon’s life, a secret service detail has been assigned to him until the issue is remedied (it’s really not that big of a deal– it’s just those secret service agents who got the prostitutes in Columbia the other week. Not surprising to anyone both Peter Fach AND Jackson Rathbone have been bugging Bill for an invite to the secret service detail’s “Welcome Back to Vancouver” party.)

• All of Charlie’s scenes need to be reshot because Billy Burke acted like seeing his newborn granddaughter aging by years in a matter of days was as shocking as learning that Bella & Jake stole a few of his Vitamin R’s to enjoy down at La Push beach when they were in high school. And let’s be honest, that has to bother the world’s worst best cop a little bit more than finding out your uber-responsible daughter occasionally likes to let loose.

• 

  Taylor's close to looking like THIS again

  Much to everyone’s surprise, it is discovered that buried in Rob & Kristen’s contracts was a clause saying that in the final scene of Breaking Dawn when Bella let’s Edward into her mind, Robsten will officially “come out.” Screw the idea of making the announcement by kissing for real on the MTV movie awards after winning “Best Kiss.” An Edward & Bella montage of all their love scenes from all the movies, superimposed over a bearskin rug is the only way Rob & Kristen wil have it.

• Since Taylor is a bigshot & is being abducted in movies now, he’s slacked off on eating meat patties in baggies & has been visiting the Olive Garden more & more. His 8 pack has shrunk to a 6 pack & that’s just not acceptable. In fact, the costume maker had to bring in the waist of Jake’s jorts a little bit because he’s lost muscle!! After convincing him with the threat of Taylor Swift writing another song about him, Taylor finally agreed to fill more baggies with roids meat and start bulking up again for the reshoots.

What do you think? Was Bill Condon’s announcement necessary? And did it make it seem like there’s something bigger going on other than just normal reshoots? I mean… was it necessary? Do you think I’d make a good vampire opposite Matthew Crawley? 

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33 Commented

Don’t Jump! And other little things…

Dear Twilight: Today’s post is a little mashup of everything- which is a good representation of life lately. Kicking us off is SJ with a little note that maybe tugged at my heartstrings a little (not to be confused with a continuous heartquake. That’s very different. I love those too)

Dear Twilight World aka ‘my fantasy life’,

maybe we'll get another photoshoot like this again soon!

I love you, have adored you, and at times rearranged significant real life events (eg getting to work on time, highjacking bosses comp. to watch New Moon premiere livestream) to suit your needs. That is why I am imploring you now to please, for the sake of the Trinity and mother Stephenie, meat patties, brain bleach, Robsten, Nobsten and Kellan’s pamphlet of LA breast cancer clinics he keeps pinned to his fridge by a Cullen crest magnet (for when his mom *ahem* visits), and yes even the *shudder* ‘snail’, please, please don’t JUMP THE SHARK, not just yet. I’m not ready.

I know that UC & Moon have been blogging much less, but bless ‘em they’ve been the equivalent of Storm Troopers (maybe I mean Jedi’s??) in this whole saga ie the awesome guys. And so what if Cdubs & Cathy Hardy & the short guy are now but echoing voices, we still have Steph, Bill and whatsisname the producer. The whole cast may have temporarily faded into the LaLaLand ‘networking’ ghetto but lets remember that there are good times to come.

In just a few months we will care who that blonde chick standing to the left just behind Cuddlemore in a .52 second piece of footage is, Taylor will have had at least six more fauxmances, Ashley Greene will have done an even tackier swimsuit shoot, and Robsten still won’t be/will be getting cozy on the bearskin rug – just for us. And Dakota Fanning has/is? turning 18 years of age so, here’s extending an official welcome to LTT Dakota.

It’s already April, please just keep cruising around behind the speedboat before hitting that ski jump later in the year, you never know what may happen in the meantime, esp. if Rob is driving the speedboat.

Sj.

AHHH SO TRUE. NEVER LET ME GO, NEVER LET ME GO (Twilight… I’m talking to you and not at all reminiscing the amazingness of last night’s Vampire Diaries. Not one bit)

In other news I was cleaning out our inbox a bit (I read some emails sent 1 month ago, go me!) and found a gem of a picture that Kaybvee sent us. Kay was at the Breaking Dawn Black Carpet & captured a Moment when Billy Burke’s wife grabbed his ass– Kaybvee says she was “practically up in there!” See for yourself:

Hey, I’d cop a feel of that copstache any day. Go get ‘em girl!

And LASTLY– my personal favorite find from our inbox (Thanks Sagalvr!)…. As you all know I was lost to Downton Abbey a few weeks back. Well, I’m on my 2nd watch through of the series (much slower this time because Mr. Choice begged me to wait & watch them with him! He loves Bates) And what’s better than Downton Abbey? Downton Abbey AND something from Twilight. So there’s this:

I knew I loved that guy!

Happy weekending

XOXO,

UC

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12 Commented

Teaser of a teaser of a trailer

Dear LTT,

HEY GUYS… Did you see this Trailer (or teaser of a teaser, rather, which I learned about from video commenter “robsten4everinlove” who informed the good people of You Tube “As far as I know, This is a Teaser of the Teaser , which is coming out on march 23 Friday, and the Trailer`s coming out on Monday, March 26.”)

ARE YOU THINKING WHAT I’M THINKING? Of course you are..

15 things I could have done with those 15 seconds I just wasted watching the 15 second teaser of a teaser:

1. Found out just how many little bottles I could drink out of in 15 seconds.

THE LIGHT

2. Whipped out my Twilight Christian T-shirt & posted a new profile picture on FB of myself wearing it

3. Internet Stalked the Hot lead of The Host: Jake Able

4.  15 second Google search for “Taylor Lautner and Alpacas” for maximum lulz

5.  15 seconds of watching baby sloth videos (thanks Kristen Bell!)

6. I could have re-watched this clip:

7. I could have imagined myself in this sandwich for 15 seconds: Damon, Elena, Stephan

8. 15 seconds of contemplating whether Kellan came out (thanks @moijojojo)

9.  I could have spent 15 seconds trying to remember what SWATH means.

10. My 15 seconds would have been better spent watching secret naughty Ian Somerhalder videos on dailymotion where you see his you know what…

11. I could have spent 15 seconds trying to forget I overheard my VP talking about how much she loves “50 shades of gray “and how she’s trying that from chapter 5 tonight with the mister.

12. I COULD HAVE SPENT 15 seconds swooning over Matthew and Mary (YEAH WE SHIP THAT)

13. 15 seconds reading Robsten confessions

14. Followed by 15 seconds of washing my eyes out with soap

15.  And, of course, 15 seconds of fist pumps for actually updating LTT

So what would you do if you could have those 15 seconds back?

Can we talk about Mary & Matthew again? Yes? Okay

Love,
UnintendedChoice

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54 Commented

Glad to be a Twilight fan yet a little wistful

Hmmm this feels familiar

Dear Twilight,

I was watching the live feed of The Hunger Games premiere tonight while I worked and it made me a little sad, a little annoyed, and a lot relieved.
. 

A little sad because it’s kinda like watching the beginning of Twilight all over again, only this time I know like half the fandom already, I’ve read all the books and I’m not mispronouncing the main dude’s name in instant messages to UC. But I still feel like I’m missing out a little when I see all our other site friends posting pictures and updates from the premiere. It also makes me feel a little wistful that this fandom is just getting ramped up as Twilight is winding down. It makes me think of how we’re in the final sprint towards the finish line.
. 

Yup, more familiar...

A little annoyed because the whole thing looked like Twilight the redux from the set up at LA Live, Yahoo covering it live, fans in that camping area, the Kardashians in the “Bing Box” all the way down to the black carpet. I doubt LA Live even bothered to vacum those before they went in storage they just rolled ‘em back out and dusted off the dried tears and Krispy Kreme crumbs (say that 5 times fast). I mean Summit and Lionsgate are now merged and if it ain’t broke don’t fix it, but still it’s a little like, come on guys.
. 

Killing it!

That brings us to a lot relieved. I watch this and while I’m a bit sad, a lot wistful, a little annoyed I’m mostly terribly relieved! It’s been fun to watch from the sidelines without being a stake holder. Who in the Twilight fandom will jump ship to the new fandom? Who will be the Robsten of Hunger Games? Who will leak stills from the film and launch an all out fandom war? Which fansites will not be on the red carpet and which won’t? Who will write a fan fic that becomes popular and decides to publish it? Ya know what? It doesn’t matter for us but it’s a ton of fun to watch with a bucket of popcorn via Twitter and Facebook.
. 

And you know what, we have one more left here in this fandom and for that I’m SUPER excited. Now bring on the freaking trailer/sneak peek whatever it is we’re going to see from Breaking Dawn Pt 2 being Hunger Games next weekend.

So hooooonnngray!
Themoonisdown

Your thoughts? Are you feeling the same way or have you jumped head first into the HG fandom?
Image source: Down with the Capitol 

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81 Commented