News Dump: Video Explosion, a boyband & our favorite DILF is back!

Dear LTT-ers,

Since things have finally heated up on the Twilight front aka they went back to Vancouver where the own cameras there’s been a deluge of pictures and info and whatnot that we’re just trying to keep up on! Just trying to stay afloat with all of Rob’s nonsense has made this a full time job of alligator wrangling and pondering the deeper meaning of his Vanity Fair interview. Is he joking? Is he sad? What kind of dog IS Martin? There is A LOT going on in Rob world but it’s time to tackle the other folks so let’s take a look at what’s going on in Twiland (kinda like Disneyland minus the churros and general happiness).

Ain’t no lie baby…
The Wolfpack has been longing for the late 90s and the days of boybands like NSYNC, BackStreet Boys and whoever else lived in Florida at that time and met a fat man named Lou. They decided in their spare time to work on their harmonies and found out they were so amazing they formed their very own boyband called 108 Degrees!
That’s the boys on their way to record their soon-to-be hit singles “Bite Bite Bite” and “Imprinting On Your Heart.” Oh, and that’s their manager… Gil “Lou” Birmingham. Looks like Vancouver is the new Orlando.
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Then I watched the trailer for Kellan’s new film: Love, Wedding, Marriage

Dude forget Robsten on the bearskin rug give me Kellan on Mandy Moore or give me death. DAYUM. That thing should come with a warning label. Dang. When does this come out?
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What a sport this guy is…

Accepting his Razzie awards for both Last Airbender AND his portrayal of Jasper. But does it seem to anyone else the mini stroke has affected his mouth again with the marble mouth/southern sorta accent/side talking thing? Also I’m totally crossing my fingers for Nikki Reed to direct a 100 Monkey’s music video. Just ponder the possibilities of that for a few minutes this Friday…
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And the last bit of news that deserves to be talked about but DEFINITELY not the least is… CHRIS WEITZ has joined twitter!

HeckYea I’m following!

I know, take a moment……………… yes, it’s true our favorite director from the Twilight saga has come back to us with a vengeance tweeting about everything, being in Argentina, his CUTE CUTE CUTE kid, answering questions and even responding to our own forum mod JodieO and and78 (those bitches!). Ok, clearly I’m jealous because he hasn’t responded to me and I even foresake ROBERT PATTINSON and his weird alligator magazine cover to tweet Chris instead. BUT WHATEVER I forgive him when he says he’s more like a Mike Welch or Gran and then tweets weird ass pictures of cats. And the mustard pants who could EVER EVER EVER forget the mustard pants? They will go down in Twiforklore and maybe have their own special wing of the Twilight Hall of Fame someday.
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So enough of my slobbering all over Chris Weitz how about we beg the wolfpack to sing some New Kids on the block for us?

TGIF!
Themoonisdown

Be honest did you tweet naughty things to Chris Weitz (i did!!!)? Are Jackson’s multiple voice personalities started to worry you? Will you catch 108 Degrees when they tour? Does anyone other than me know who Lou Pearlman is?!

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTR, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

 

64 Commented


What (should have) happened in the Twilight world in 2010

Dear Twilight,

Since it’s that time of year when we start to wrap up 2010 and think about 2011, I was thinking about recapping the past year of Twilight. But then I thought to myself, “Wow… how incredibly boring, UC. Anyone who is a reader of LTT knows exactly what happened in the world of Twilight in 2010 and exactly when it happened (and probably what they were wearing at the time).” So I thought, why don’t I recap what should have happened in 2010? We’re all about the fanatical fantasy here at LTT, so why stop now? I give you: Twilight in 2010: What should have happened!

The 100 Monkeys broke up. As a result the Goodwill received an onslaught of “Monkey bags,” and past concert goers stopped fleeing to their Doctors complaining of ‘bleeding ears”

Kellan came out of the closet. Then went to Christian Gay camp & learned how to resist the urge. Then was caught at the Eco-lodge with a man. Coincidentally it was his counselor from Christian Gay camp.

Swiftner became a bigger celeb couple than Robsten. A Karate video was produced to a country music soundtrack, selling more than Justin Bieber’s latest album. A pre-teen war ensued. A lot of Jonas Brothers sleeping bags were destroyed. I think. Do tweens still like the JoBros?

BigDaddy realized that the Olive Garden is much better when UC & Moon are there to share his breadsticks. TWSS.

Midnight Sun was finished and as a result, for a full 12 hours, not a woman over the age of 10 was seen in public.

The media & public realized Robsten are a really boring couple (Is it “Robsten are?” or “Robsten is”? Is this in the dictionary somewhere? “How do you properly formulate a sentence using the plural form of Robsten?” Does anyone know? Do you think Summit knows? Do you think they have a guy in their office just to grammatically correct all the “Robsten” sentences they write? Most importantly, how does the CEO address Robsten when he makes photo-shopped manips of the two of them to send to his wife on humpday?

“TwiPorn” and “RobPorn” went back to their original meanings: Pictures of Twilight male characters doing chores around the house. Much more boring, much more safe for work, plus you feel better about yourself after seeing Peter Fach vacuuming instead of opening an email attachment to see Kellan holding a huge scholong with the caption “Bite this.”

Catherine Hardwicke made a movie that looked nothing like Twilight

DILF mustard pants chris weitz

These pants will be EVERYWHERE this spring

Chris Weitz showed up in public again to introduce his men’s fashion line called “DILF,” featuring a limited edition mustard-colored pant

Rob’s head was not photo-shopped onto the bodies of any men who also do gay porn.

Stephenie called Pancho “Nacho” in public. Coincidentally they were eating Mexican at the time.

Someone finally admitted visiting Forks is actually kinda boring.

Ashley Greene hooked up with Ian Somerhalder reminding us that what she does best is sleep with men we could never get and bringing more pretty into our lives & giving us (more) excuses to write about Ian.

I mean, is it just me or was 2010 a pretty boring year for the cast? We had a little Swiftner. I think Nikki Reed probably slept with a douche bag. Kellan hooked up with Anna-Lynne again. Jackson fell in love with me, the Twilight Superfan, in Philadelphia & Boo-Boo Stewart’s voice dropped 3 whole notes, but I think that’s it. No one even cares about Ashley & Joe Jonas. Catherine barely tried to remind us that she created Robsten. For as much shit as he talked on Twi before he got the Eclipse directing gig, David Slade turned out to be really boring. Solomon Trimble’s life is kinda too sad to even make fun of anymore, and Chris Hansen and Boo-Boo Stewart jokes just aren’t as funny as they were with Taylor Lautner. Come on Twilight in 2011, you BETTER give us SOMETHING good!

Love,
UnintendedChoice

What did I miss? What else (should have) happened in the world of Twilight in 2010!?

Oh- We don’t want to forget to tell you, starting January 3rd the Biggest Loser challenge on the Forum (renamed “Resolutionary Challenge 2011″) is kicking off: Make sure you join everyone if you’re looking for fun, encouragement & healthy living in 2011!!! Resolutionary Challenge 2011

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTR, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

53 Commented


Where are they now? All our old favorites edition!

Dear LTT-ers,

Anytime I hear Lady Gaga’s song “Pokerface” I inevitably think of AmanDUH and I get sad. She was a legend in her own time and then deleted her YouTube account before we barely knew her. Well we KNEW her kitchen and her hallway with the bed sheet strung up and we DEFINITELY knew her “special” husband she made dress us as Edward in their backyard but we didn’t get to see her mature into her artistry. And that got me thinking about all our other old Twilight favorites that we loved and talked about so much… what are they doing now? Are they happy? Do they think back on us and Twilight with fond memories?

So I decided to do a little research and see what our old pals are up to.

How I’ll always think of Michael

Oregano – Michael Angarano will ALWAYS be the Young William in Almost Famous and for that I will always love him and I truly have high hopes that he will or maybe has escaped the Kristen/Robsten nonsense he was aparty too. I heard some rumors of him and Emma Roberts being an item and that would account for the frosty exchange between Rob and Emma on Leno but I don’t care enough to research this. So I’ll take the easy route… from the looks of IMDB he is busy like a bee, but not too much to pace in front of my favorite coffee shop a few weeks ago. My friends had to restrain me from asking what REALLY happened and what Cathi is REALLY like and if Nikki was REALLY involved in the whole final breakdown and if he can get me Patrick Fugit, Zooey Deschanel and Phillip Seymour Hoffman’s numbers.

Catherine Hardwicke – Besides being asked to make appearances at all TGIFriday’s grand openings in the continental US because she’s such a huge supporter of the chain restaurant our dear Jamaican vacation loving cougar is directing movies again! With Billy Burke as a character in her new period piece movie, Red Ridinghood, I wonder if she’ll make him grow a killer pornstache or walk around with a sword in one hand and a can of Vitamin R in the other. Whatever it is we know she’s already got the Lukas Haas/Amanda Seyfried audition tape from her groovy bedroom in Venice Beach on LOCKDOWN.

Sage – Formerly of super group Sage and the Dills. Ok, maybe not super group. But according to Nikki Reed herself she directed Sage’s video for a song which I’m sure I don’t care about but features Nikki’s “friend” Johnny Flynn. Why, Johnny WHY?!

AmanDUH - Oh Amanduh… where for art thou AmandUH?! You made us love you with your renditions of songs from the Twilight soundtrack, your dramatic reading of chapters from Twilight and who can forget the music video you did with your special Husband? We miss you! Where did you go? I did some light googling and found our girl is STILL at it only she runs her own fansite… HER own fansite the Amadah fansite and has like 5 youtube accounts. And I’m sad to report I think she may have left “Special Edward” and the kids in that apartment, changed her name and is now a porn star with a guido looking boyfriend. Maybe. These are my conclusions after my google research.


(if someone can figure out wtf that black line over her lip is, I’ll give you an award)
She’s also decided to honor The Runaways and obviously Kristen’s portrayal of Joan Jett with this stunning hair and makeup job. Though NOT a mullet (amateur!) she does have the pleather painted on! ALL HAIL AMANDUH! She’s back… or at least until she finds out I embedded her video here.

All my fave DILF moments, minus the orange pants

Chris Weitz – The man, the DILF, the legend. He made it alright for us to hope for something better than the Twilight movie. Under his careful guidance and sexy scarves we dared to hope for better FX, better wigs and NO spider monkeys. We got 2 of the 3. And we’re forever grateful. Chris paved the way for David Slade to take the reins and OWN Eclipse HARD. We can now only cross our fingers for Bill Condon’s vision for Breaking Dawn and thank Chris Weitz for paving the way. But what is our ol lover up to these days? He famously said he was going to retire after he finished “The Gardener” but by the looks of his IMDB he’s looking sexy as hale AND he’s linked to FOUR new projects that are “in development.” One of these is officially the best movie ever based on it’s title: “Another Bullshit Night in Suck City.” Whatever Chris Weitz ends up doing I’ll always want to give him a hug for making New Moon.

Where will the Bananager and David Slade and Xaiver Samuel end up and all our other latest favorites? Do we think anyone will end up on a future season of Celebrity Rehab? Here’s hoping not unless they have Rehab for an addiction to chain restaurant Italian food. Ahem.

Off to watch a billion AmanDUH  videos!
Themoonisdown

Who do you miss or wonder what ever happen to them? What happened to Buttcrack Santa? Has anyone ever actually been to Sage show?

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTR, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

78 Commented


Managing my Eclipse Expectations

Dear Eclipse,

Today I looked over at my custom-made Rob Pattinson calendar (this picture with the days of the month scribbled on it) and nearly had a heart-attack. YOU ARE RELEASED IN THE THEATERS A WEEK FROM TODAY!? What!? When did that happen? Last thing I remember you were still being filmed & our #LegHitch 2010 trip was 13 months away and @JanetRigs already had a color-coded spreadsheet & her hotel booked and restaurant reservations for the night of your release. Seven days from this very moment I will have seen you!? I need to slow down a second and manage my expectations because right now they are out of control.

We know a ton of people who have already seen the movie. We have heard specific details about what we’ve dubbed the “Leg-Hitch” scene While I know more details than I’d like I still haven’t had 100% confirmation that Edward’s ‘hand curved around my elbow, moving slowly down my arm, across my ribs and over my waist, tracing along my hip and down my leg, around my knee. He paused there, his hand curling around my calf. He pulled my leg up suddenly, hitching it around his hip.’ But he better. That’s all I’m saying. Or else, David Slade. OR ELSE. Plus Stephenie talked Eclipse details when we interviewed her last week (Sorry- not allowed to repeat them until AFTER the movie is released) and while she’d occasionally say “SPOILER” and nod for us & the gals from TwilightSeriesTheories to cover our ears, I was still thinking about how the words “jorts” came out of her mouth when we first met and forgot where my ears were. So needless to say, I’ve heard a LOT about this movie. And most everything I’ve heard has been good. Like “This is the best movie out of the three BY FAR” good and “There are no cheesy lines” good. But let’s start with that because after being a Twi-lover for so long, my expectations have changed and:

There better be cheesy lines

You remember how much I wanted Chris Weitz to incorporate a character like Buttcrack Santa in New Moon? I even created Tequila Tomas for him. It would have been so simple- plus Forks could use that diversity- all that green grass & gardens but no experienced gardener? Tragedy. But whatever, Chris… you didn’t listen to me. And New Moon was lacking that random character that made us (and Stephenie) really confused. However, what New Moon wasn’t lacking was cheesy lines. I’d even say that the lines we came away with from New Moon stuck more than in Twilight. I mean, “They’re NOT Bears” “FACEPUNCH” and “Let’s DO This!?” How many times a day do YOU say them? I say them at least 12 times, plus @Brookelockart still consistantly texts me an audio clip of “They’re Not Bears” randomly late at night.

Let’s Do This:

Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.

I have HIGH expectations of what Eclipse might bring. I’m envisioning Edward whispering “Leg Hitch Me” to Bella in school the first day back after he almost gives in on the bed. And then Bella faints in the middle of Geometry class, which is a shame because she was about to win the golden triangle for being the biggest math nerd!

Then wouldn’t it be awesome if, as Bree runs to the clearing from the forest she’s screaming FREE FRED at the top of her lungs!? Who cares that it doesn’t make any sense. Since when do Twilight jokes make sense? Anyone remember Buttcrack Santa’s “little bottles?” Right..

And I feel like New Moon played ‘just the tip’ with Quil Clout Lay. IT was only said ONCE? What is Jacob? A pansy? Tell that girl you love her ALL.THE.TIME, dude. How do you think Edward got her? By riding dirt bikes & wearing jorts? NO. I’d like the tent scene to be full of moments where the camera pans to Jacob, brushing a strand of wig-covered mullet hair from Bella’s forehead, whispering “Quil Clout Lay. No seriously, I really “Quil Clout Lay” you”

Man, I’m good. I should really make movies

What's that, Aunt Susie? A thing-a-ma-bob from the future?

I’d like Bella to get a cell phone

And I don’t mean a Native American boy, in wolf form, trailing her around all day long. I mean like something nice- maybe a Nokia, or a Motorola100. Hey, I’d even be happy if for one day they let Kristen borrow Rob’s Jitterbug phone for a scene, just so they can prove that the Twilight saga is, in fact, set in present day and not the early 90s like one would think by the extraordinary amount of flannel worn by the characters.

A wolf needs to utter the term “jorts”

And if that doesn’t happen then I want my money back. Or I at least want to be reimbursed for the cost of the puffy paint I used to write “THESE ARE COMMEMORATIVE JORTS TO CELEBRATE THE TERM BEING USED IN ECLIPSE” and perhaps something extra for my husband who was pretty pissed when I cut up his fav pair of jeans..

I’d really like someone to “BING” something

Click that

Remember how, in the book, Edward leaves Bella to talk to Jasper & see if it’s safe for him to stay out of the fight? Maybe he can’t find Jasper, so, being the 109 year old he is, he turns on his trusty Compaq and loads up BING.com and BINGS “Can vampires and werewolves win a fight against Newborns if I sit out and instead cock-block my girlfriend and all of those watching my story?” I really want this to happen so that I make fun of Summit for being the type of company that would so obtrusively throw BING into one of their movies. Burger King crowns, check, BING, check check, Bubble wrap from UPS, triple check (Hey you KNOW it could happen!)

GAH there is so much I want: The Leg Hitch; the leg hitch to turn into full on getting it on; for there to be no 12 year olds in my theater so I can enjoy the getting it on; For my belly to have room for a whole bucket of popcorn at 12 am; for the tent scene to be as tension-filled, awkward and AMAZING as it was in the book and therefore is in my head.. I haven’t been managing my expectations, guys. Stephenie said so herself the tent scene turned out BEAUTIFULLY and she’s so happy with it. What if she just said that because she’s Stephenie & she has to? What if Taylor’s voice cracks & he sounds like he’s 14 and Kristen’s wig was so bad that day they just take it off & rock the scene with the full-blown mullet or Rob’s white make-up gets all smudgy? If there’s anything I’ve learned while loving this saga is that we must have realistic expectations.

When discussing this topic for New Moon, I had some pretty brilliant things to say. I’m going to say those things again- this time relating them to Eclipse:

Let’s not go into Eclipse on opening night thinking it’s going to be like Schindler’s List. If we accept that it will more likely mirror Bring it On Again, it might be easier to love if it’s a major dud. Accept it NOW. They will NOT cover EVERY detail in the book. They have 200 minutes to bring a 25 chapter book to life. Plus they have to backtrack and include some details that Twilight & New Moon left out (like why in the world t he wolves are always shirtless. THAT’S WHERE THEY CAN SAY JORTS!) They will leave out details you feel are important and they will add details IN that you think are stupid. ACCEPT it now!

There will be things that will be cheesy. It’s Newborn Vampires, CGI and WOLVES- Big, non-existent computerized wolves. And They’re NOT Bears, so they will not look real. Cuz wolves like that don’t really exist. Accept IT now! Rob will occasionally sound British. He can’t help it. He’s British. Accept it! Kristen will stutter & blink. She learned that in when she was 13 and in Panic Room when the director yelled “Look scared” and she said “How?” and he responded “Stutter & blink!” Colors will be different. The order of events will be different. Characters will be different. Characters will be ADDED. ACCEPT it NOW! You WILL be cock-blocked like in the book. Edward and Bella don’t get it on. Rob won’t be getting naked. There fight scenes to “bring in a male audience” will be more graphic than in the book. Someone will come in costume with an Edward Manilow attached to their hip (like it’s the “Leg Hitch”), and little girls will be in the theater with their “Team Jacob” t-shirts and you will judge their mothers for allowing them to come despite their age. ACCEPT IT NOW.

Once YOU accept this and once I accept this, we will all be able to enjoy Eclipse- whether cheesy, wonderful, funny, REALLY good or completely horrible. So, LET’S DO THIS together!

Quil Clout Lay,
UnintendedChoice

So where are you? High expectations? Reasonable? What do YOU except to see from Eclipse?

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTR, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

209 Commented


News on Breaking Dawn Production aka NO news on Breaking Dawn Production!

Dear Twilight and well, Breaking Dawn I suppose…

Today two posts came out referencing news behind the production of Breaking Dawn. While a few months ago we all thought making BD was a foregone conclusion and Summit was just waiting for New Moon to shatter box office records to make it official it’s been almost a month and a half since New Moon’s release and still no announcement. Since news on the twi front has been about as sparse as smiles at a KStew photoshoot, so any sort of news to come out will indefinitely make waves. But after reading both posts from the bitchtastic Ted C and a dude in his mom’s basement in North East Philly we learn… exactly… NOTHING. Why yes, it’s like a Robsten rumor… a lot of drama, a lot of words, a lot of retweets, a lot of “maybe’s” but no actual substance or truth. Someone at the LA Times spoke with producer Wyck Godrey and got this bit of totally evasive information regarding the splitting of BD into two films  “…If it’s not organic, I don’t think it will be done, and if it is, it will be…” Wow, heavy.

Breaking Dawn = tons more creepy images made by fans!

So we still don’t know if it will be made into two films (please say yes), whether Summit will hire geneticists to create a human vampire hybrid in their lair of doom (aka studio offices in Santa Monica) to play Renesmee, whether Taylor Lautner will in fact act out imprinting on a newborn baby, if Nikki Reed and KStew can patch up their differences long enough to play convincing as frenemies on screen, will Jacob and Leah spend 3/4ths of the movie running around the perimeter of the Cullen’s house “on patrol” thus reenacting the most boring parts of BD, will there be a behind the scene documentary on the making of Isle Esme which features all the “fade to black” scenes they cut out?

Sooooo many questions and ZERO answers.

Find out what we DO know about Breaking Dawn after the jump
Continue…

240 Commented


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