These new Character Posters are going to BLOW YOUR MIND

Dear Twilight,

These new Breaking Dawn Part 2 character Posters are going to BLOW YOUR MIND. I mean, we think. We haven’t seen them. And I can’t imagine how a poster could blow anyone’s mind. Unless a bear skin/meat patty/buttcrack/little bottle/ was involved. Or Cathy Hardi was peeking out from the corner of the image. That would TOTALLY blow my mind.

But anyway, these new posters are being revealed in a way that only Twilight could do: forcing us to remember all the Coven members. Wait– what’s a coven again? That’s what I thought until I remembered my one true love from the show that died due to a Hollywood writer’s strike (RIP PUSHING DAISIES) Lee Pace:

If this is a coven, I love a coven

So if you want to see one of these new posters, which may or may not include an image of Cathy Hardi*, you gots to participate in a scavenger hunt by uncovering the covens from clues hidden on the following fan sites (which includes us, duh):

BELLA AND EDWARD
http://bellaandedward.com/

HIS GOLDEN EYES
http://www.hisgoldeneyes.com

LETTERS TO TWILIGHT <— THAT’S ME DAD!
http://letterstotwilight.com

TEAM TWILIGHT
http://www.team-twilight.com

TWILIGHT EXAMINER
http://www.examiner.com/twilight-in-national/amanda-bell

TWILIGHT GUY
http://www.twilightguy.com/

TWILIGHTISH
http://www.twilightish.com/

TWILIGHT LEXICON
http://www.twilightlexicon.com/

TWILIGHT MOMS
http://www.twilightmoms.com/

TWILIGHT SERIES THEORIES
TwilightSeriesTheories.com

TWILIGHT SOURCE
http://www.twilightsource.com

CREPUSCULO-ES
http://www.crepusculo-es.com/

TWILIGHT ITALIA
http://www.twilightitalia.com/

THE TWILIGHT SAGA
http://www.thetwilightsaga.nl/

TWILIGHT SWEDEN
http://www.twilightsweden.se/

UK TWILIGHT
http://uktwilight.co.uk/

LET’S DO THIS! (Facepunch)

Love,
UnintendedChoice

*As far as we know, Catherine Hardwicke will not be in any of the posters. SAD

 

12 Commented


Random Ramblings for your Monday..

Dear Twilight,

I miss dressing in disguise like this

I know it seems like Moon & I don’t care, but we do. We really do. We spend at least a good 5 minutes a day complaining to each other about how much we miss you & the fun we’ve had. And GET THIS– we have to schedule time to talk to each other. Really. Moon sends me a Google invite to schedule a meeting. I tell her all the time I really only like BING invites (brainwashed by The CW) but she keeps sending them from Google. I have no idea why.

I miss this

Anyway, I just wanted to pop in & give you an update on what I’ve been up to. Besides my week of sickness resulting in an eye infection, ear infection & possible sinus infection (yes I’m a 4 year old). I cleaned my closet. And realized that the big box of crap that Stephenie Meyer sent us after the epic meeting in 2010 STILL has crap left in it (ps: it’s the crappiest crap left, of course) and it’s taking up room in my closest, and I’m OVER it. So please comment with something that makes me laugh & I’ll send a random commenter something crappy (no you’ll love it! promise!)

Anyway, I want to tell you some REALLY exciting news: I’m writing a BOOK! Yes!!! I know! About time, right? It’s still in the works, but here’s a quick synopsis:

Kathy & Peter are from the same rural territory. Every year a young boy & girl are chosen from each territory and taken to the big city where they are televised and forced to prove their sexual prowess in something called “The Sexual Games,” created for the enjoyment of the residents of the city. Kathy is strong. In the beginning when all participants are meeting each other in a sort-of “speed dating” called “speed flirting” where you show off your skills to each other, she impresses the guys with her impeccable skill at darts. And Peter is incredible in the kitchen. Woman get woozy just by smelling his cinnamon buns.

As the games are set to begin, the participants are standing in a circle waiting for the gunshot to let them know it’s time. In the center of the partipants are “tools” they’ll need for the games. After the shot is fired, everyone runs towards the gear– they have to pick up tools like sexy lingerie, whips, chains, cartons of lube, condoms, dildos and a few surprises I won’t share here!

Kathy & Peter aren’t the best match. Kathy wasn’t ready for the games– she had a potential mate back home (Dale) and Peter just isn’t confident. But throughout my story you’ll see Kathy & Peter come together for the games (pun intended)– knowing that if they are going to win “The Sexual Games” they had better have the hottest sex in front of the cameras they can possible have. And through their fight, they might just find love. You’ll just have to wait & see!

What do you think? If my first printing goes well, I think I’m going to sell the movie rights! Oh and before you ask– yes, I have the same lawyer as E.L. James!

In other news, someone marvelous got this tattoo:

Yes. It’s a tattoo of jorts. On a guy. A guy with a lot of tattoos. Who I’m pretty sure isn’t actually part of “Team Jacob.” But it has jorts GUYS! I’m pretty sure I’m in love with him for doing this. Thanks Sianna for sending it to us!

So that’s what’s new with me. Now make me laugh so I can send you some crap

XX,

UnintendedChoice

 

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTR, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

81 Commented


Our Runner Up Virgin!!! Is in love with a movie character

Dear LTT-ers and Twilight sluts (one and the same?),

Remember our fun Virgin contest where we asked you all to send us your hilarious and embarrassing stories about your first time with Twilight? Well we loved so many that after we named Heidi the winner we knew  had to have a runner up because we loved Carrie’s email to her friend so much. We’ll let her take it away…

Oh heyyyyyy LTT-

So I found the below email that I sent to my bestie, a few nights after I saw Twilight for the first time. I re-read it and it made me lol. Also made me kinda melancholy, reminiscing about my times as a a Twirgin. Oh, so young and innocent…
FYI, I’m still only a heartbeat away from getting Edward Cullen’s name tattooed on my ass…

xox – Carrie

—————————————

From: carrie
To: friend
Subject: RE:
Date: Fri, 23 Jan 2009 13:12:03 +1030

Yeah still want to head to beach. Is going to be good beach weather Sunday. No other real plans yet, except for laundry, and reading my new book which I am officially OBSESSED with, and thinking about the movie and generally living in my new fantasy world, which I prefer so much better to reality…

You know how i told you I wanted to go see Twilight (the movie) cos I’d had this insane really intense dream about it and I couldn’t stop thinking about the dream?

Well the other night I was bored so I was going through Brent’s dvds and found a dodgy copy of Twilight that he brought back from Fiji with him.

So I watched it.

And I loved it. No, actually love isn’t the right word. I adored it. It was the single most amazing thing I have ever seen – and so much like the dream I had bout it – except better. After I finished watching it I was on this adrenaline high. It was bizarre. I couldn’t sleep or do anything but think about this movie.

Then all yesterday all I could do was look on the internet to find out everything about the movie and the book.
But it wasn’t enough, so last night I went to Village to see the movie ont he big screen and it was just awe inspiring. Incredible. So as soon as the movie finished I went to Borders and bought the book… and the soundtrack… and was up until 4 this morning reading the book.

What's better than this guy??!!

I am officially obsessed with a fictional character from a movie. But it’s not just me – there is this whole cult out there of people – guys and girls – who are obsessed to the point of psychosis with the books and the movie.

I’m a little concerned as it’s pretty much taken over my life.

But the good thing is that it has pretty much turned me off all men (particularly certain fat ones who work at Collins Simms) for the rest of my life. Because no one could ever be as amazing as Edward Cullen. *sigh*. I love him. I am in love with a movie character. I am a heartbeat away from getting his name tattooed on my arse.

Feel free to commit me to the mental ward now, cos I think I’m only going to get more obsessed from here…

Carrie
.
THANKS Carrie! After reading the entire last few paragraphs and laughing so hard remembering thinking the same things. What man will ever measure up to Edward? There are really more people obsessed with this out there like I am? Yea, this isn’t going to end well. We’ve all been there and still are
.

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTR, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

 

56 Commented


We have a Twilight Virgin Winner!!

(get a cup of coffee or a diet coke and settle in for this one!)

Dear LTT readers and once upon a time twi virgins,

We have a winner! And well a runner up winner!!! It was SO difficult for us to choose from all the wonderful stories, emails, aim convos and ESSAYS you all sent in. But in the end it came down to Heidi’s story about her Twilight reading husband deflowering an old lady assistant to the judge at his work in the US DISTRICT COURT! Ok, that sounds wrong… we’ll just let our virgin winner Heidi share her story… Take it away Heidi!
.

A LITTLE BACKGROUND:

By this time, I had already read the series (multiple times) and loved it.  The following emails pertain to my HUSBAND losing his Twilight virginity while simultaneously taking someone else’s.  He was working as a clerk for a judge in a U.S. District Court.  He was so obsessed with the books at the time that he was shamelessly carrying them around the judge’s chambers so that he could read them during breaks.  One day, the book caught the eye of the 50+ year old judge’s assistant (who up until this point hated my husband).  So, doing what any good Twilight fan would do, he lent her the books.  The assistant loved the first book and fueled by her obsession pumped my husband for more Twilight info.  He was grateful that this woman, who previously seemed to hate him, now loved him and pumped me for more Twilight info to give her.
.

THE FIRST EMAILS:
Subject: Fwd: Twilight blogs
From: Heidi
Date: Thu, Apr 23, 2009 at 4:12 AM
To: Husband

Hi Honey,

You asked for more Twilight stuff for ___Old Lady Assistant___, here it is.  This is the list of my favorite Twilight or Rob-themed blogs that I sent to Jessica when I got her obsessed.  You need to forward these to ___Old Lady Assistant___so that she knows she is far from alone in her Twilight and robsession.  All women of every age love him!  You know you have a boy-crush on him too.  Admit it!

Love You!
.

———- Forwarded message ———-
From: Heidi
Date: 2009/3/29
Subject: Twilight blogs
To: Jessica
http://www.twilightlexicon.com/

http://www.newmoonmovie.org/

http://www.robsessedpattinson.com/

http://www.twicrackaddict.blogspot.com/

http://www.laurensbite.blogspot.com/

http://www.hisgoldeneyes.com/

http://letterstotwilight.wordpress.com/ *

http://letterstorob.wordpress.com/ *

 

(Heidi Note – How embarrassing for me.  This was the point of my obsession where I read all of these blogs every day. My husband knows it and I am apparently not ashamed to admit it.  Don’t judge.  * and pink denotes the only blogs I will currently ADMIT to reading.)
———-
.
From: Heidi ______
Date: Thu, Apr 23, 2009 at 4:17 AM
To: Husband

Oh, and here is just a taste of what she can find on these websites.  Good luck getting work done now.  Ha!

(Heidi Note: Here he plays shy with his own feelings and forwards my messages along without additional  commentary.Keep in mind this is his first time taking another person’s Twilight virginity)

——— Forwarded message ———-
From: Husband
Date: Thu, Apr 23, 2009 at 3:22 PM
To: _Old Lady Assistant@_.uscourts.gov
.

THE NEXT MORNING:

My husband walks into the judge’s chambers and is accosted by the judge’s assistant.  She makes him change her computer desktop (remember she is over 50, which makes it less surprising, but not less embarrassing, that she could not do this herself) to the above image of GQ Rob.  My husband obliges and then she spends the rest of the day giggling and showing it off to others.  My husband is now her enabler (everybody needs one) and best friend and the worst enemy of the other men in the chambers.
.

THE NEXT MONDAY:
From: _Old Lady Assistant@_.uscourts.gov
Date: Mon, Apr 27, 2009 at 4:26 PM
To: Husband

well, i did it again!!! hardly slept last night (started reading the third book installment (eclipse) around 3:00pm yesterday at our cabin, then went home and continued reading it until 4:10am this morning!!!!  talk about sleep-deprived!!!!

i enjoyed the book, much more than the second one (new moon).  i still don’t like jacob, however.  can’t wait to start the 4th one tonight.

by the way, i saw the movie over the weekend.  embarrassingly enough, i saw it three times — my niece and my daughter now think i should be committed and/or in a straightjacket — what can i say?  still love edward and bella together; i’m also starting to love alice and the rest of the clan, but don’t like the wolves, especially you know who!!!

thanks again for getting me hooked on twilight.  i’ll let you know how i feel about the fourth book.

again, it was good having you in chambers (not because you got me hooked in twilight, mind you); hope you keep in touch and stop by whenever you are in the neighborhood.  regards.

Old Lady Assistant
Judicial Assistant to the Honorable no name judge
U.S. District Court

(Heidi Note: Haha, does this count as my husband “sleeping his way to the top?”)
.

THE OUTCOMES:
I ended up inviting this judge’s assistant to my New Moon Movie Release Party where she won the Twilight Trivia game (and those questions I wrote were HARD) and also won the Jane “Pain” Staring Contest.  She was a riot.  My husband ended up getting a glowing recommendation letter from the judge this woman works for and we can’t help but think it has something to do with him taking her Twilight virginity.
.

Tschus,
Heidi

So readers as you can see Heidi and her DOUBLE virgin story of hilarity with her newbie Husband and newbie Old Lady Judge’s Assistant just had to win cause we loved it so much! Give Heidi a big congrats on her LTT/LTR TShirt of her choice and stay tuned for the runner up’s story!
.

Business Time!
The first 12 weeks of the Resolutionary [Weight Loss/Healthy Living] Challenge 2011 going on in Rob’s Flat in The Forum ended last week. TwilightCAT was the winner! CONGRATS TwilightCAT!! Round #2 starts Monday April 4thLearn about it here!

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTR, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

 

65 Commented


Give us your Twilight virgins!

Dear Twilight,

Who knew outting our embarrassing first times on here would bring out so many other laughable, sweet hilarious, pathetic and down right embarrassing virgin moments from your other fans and our readers?! Everything from gchat conversations about DVD releases

me: I am totally going to a twilight DVD release party…wanna come? borders across the states are hosting these events
Friend: hahaha when?
me: and I am going and I am excited… 10:00pm-12:00am March 20  its the midnight release of the DVD which I’ve already preordered. well I’m actually pissed because there are lots of versions out there and I settled on the borders version like yesterday, target came out with one that I want more its got more extra features, and now I’m pissed
Friend: wait, that is spring break friday right?
Me: yes it is spring break friday night so I am going to be so happy on that day!!
- Heidi

 

Raise your hand if you've sent or made something like this

to becoming the friend you and your other friends make fun of

March 28, 2009
TheBFF: You’re going to kill me. My sister rented Twilight tonight.
Me: Don’t do it.
TheBFF: She wants to watch it.
Me: You’re dead to me.
.
April 7, 2009
Me: I have a confession to make, and you may never be my friend after this.
TheBFF: Doubtful.
Me: I have just spent the past 10 hours READING TWILIGHT (and I’m going back for more).
TheBFF: I do not believe you.
Me: I’m serious. [My husband] rented it this weekend, and I caved and watched it with him. Then when he went to work yesterday, I WATCHED IT AGAIN.
Me: THEN I went to WalMart and bought the book (and the dvd). OMG.
Me: I even went to WalMart so my regular bookstore lady wouldn’t see me buying it, and I could hide it under a box of Capri-Suns.
TheBFF: YOU ARE [random mutual Twihard acquaintance] !!
Me: I hate myself.
Me: But God help me, I love Edward.

-allryans

to writing quotable lines like (it did NOT disappoint! and KICK ASS!)

I know that I cannot have my way and have the book depicted word for word, so I think overall it was great. There were some silly changes, but that is to be expected of Hollywood. They rarely leave perfection alone. – Sadie

to writing impassioned essays titled “In the Defense of Bella” depending the feminist qualities in Twilight and reviews called “Fangs for the Memories”… ON YOUR FACEBOOK!

“Thanks to my obsessive reading, I finished the fourth and final book in the series two days ago (and then the unpublished, unfinished Midnight Sun, if you’re wondering). I thought I’d be relieved to have rid myself of a world so thick with hormones. Glad to not have to wonder what happens next.

Turns out that place in life is harder to say goodbye to the second time around.” – Laurel

to posting pictures of yourself you would never have taken in your “former life”

So we now know if we did it and all these girls did it… EVERYONE has their embarrassing and funny and poignant (but mostly funny) Twilight newbie stories. SO SPILL and you too could win an LTT/LTR tshirt from the store to further your public admission of your love for the Cullens and that Rob guy.

do NOT disappoint!
Themoonisdown

There’s still time! You can still send in your funny emails, letters, aim/gchats and be entered to win an LTT/LTR tshirt from our store! Email us!!

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTR, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

 

41 Commented


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