7 Things I forgot about Breaking Dawn Part 2

Dear LTTers,

DID YOU SEE THE LATEST TV SPOT?

I did. On an actual TV– which actually kinda shocked me. I was watching something highly educational (pretty little liars prob) with Mr. Choice next to me ignoring my “HE’S SO HOT” ‘NO HE’S SO HOT” fights with myself, trying to decide which guy I was into that night when he said “Is this a TWILIGHT trailer?” and I realized it was….one I hadn’t seen. It was Mr. Choice’s FIRST trailer, in fact. And he asked “Is it going to be good?”

Probably. It’s probably going to be good. I mean it BETTER be right? After movies ranging in this order:

1. Terrible but so terrible it was brilliant Twilight
2. Better but still pretty terrible New Moon
3. GOOD but not as good as the book Eclipse
4. THIS IS ACTUALLY A MOVIE Breaking Dawn

#5 better be “HOLY CRAP THIS ISN’T JUST A MOVIE BUT AN EPIC FINALE” good.

So I got thinking about my expectations. We’ve always told you to manage your expectations here at LTT. And I think that’s no different this year, except…. I forget most of what happens in Breaking Dawn Part 2. In fact, until recently I thought it started in Jacob’s perspective– but that already happened in part 1 (was that evident in the movie? I don’t think it was) but the trailer reminded me of some KEY PARTS that I completely forgot were going to happen. Watch with me then we’ll discuss:

1. BELLA IS A VAMPIRE: I know, I know. DUH. How could I FORGET? Well, I did. She’s not a vampire for most of the saga, so it’s easy to forget that for the 2nd half of the last book she is. I see Kristen/Bella in those images and videos. I don’t see a strong, deer-eating super fast runner. (I also don’t see a mother to a 9 year old, but whatever) (VAMP DIARIES SPOILER ALERT: I’m going through the same thing with Elena. I mean… she’s NOT a vampire right? Is this for real? Also do you love how they totally upstaged Twilight and turned Elena first?)

2. ALICE GOES AWAY: For a LONG time. I have a feeling it won’t seem as long in the movie, but in the book that sucked. I was pissed at Alice. I mean, I knew she had something up her sleeve but eventually I couldn’t help but feel like she just left us.

3. CHARLIE IS SUPER DUMB: Remember how dumb Charlie is? I mean, he barely questions it when his daughter is quarantined for months/weeks with this terrible virus.. and then he doesn’t question that she’s very OBVIOUSLY no longer human. And he seems to be okay with the fact that his granddaughter grows a few years every 20 minutes. COP OF THE YEAR AWARD

4. CHARLIE IS A GRANDPA: And I CAN’T WAIT to see how cute that is. He’s an amazing dad (I mean super dumb– read #3) so he’s going to be the best grandpa. I hope he lets Renesmee pull on his ‘stache. (ugh that felt dirty and was not meant to be AT ALL)

5. SEX SCENES IN THE TINY HOUSE: Enough said. A little too much “Fade to sad” for my liking, but my imagination can fill in the blanks. (and these days a little “fade to sad” is okay where ROBSTEN is concerned)

6. NEW VAMPS: I haven’t forgotten about them of course since we’ve been shoving “New Faces Fridays” down your throats for weeks now, but thank GOD we’ll finally be able to remember WHO they are and what role they play. Cause seriously…. I have NO idea who that guy from Pushing Daisies plays…..

7. THE SHIELD: Remember how Edward can’t read Bella’s mind because of that “shield” she has that offers protection? I thought that was pretty cool & will be interesting to see how that is interpreted visually. And also that leads to one of my FAVORITE parts of the entire saga– at the end when Bella lets Edward into her mind finally. I might lose it there guys– it’ll be like Edward being allowed into my mind– seeing how much this whole thing has meant to me over the past 4+ years…. so if you hear sobbing all the way in Omaha.. that’s just me and Moon in LA crying big ol’ tears….

That’s it! 7 things I forgot about Breaking Dawn part 2 that I’m excited to see!

What are you excited about?

Love,
UnintendedChoice

9 Commented


Ye Rustic Inn and Denim Cut Offs and Public Reconciliation

Yes, those are icicle Christmas lights! Klassy!

Dear Rob and Kristen,

So we’re 30 days out from the last movie and you two decided to get back together. Sure you’re not even living together which pretty much tells us everything we need to know about this reunion. I do want to say, however, that I appreciate that you choose Ye Rustic Inn for your first (totally not staged) reunion in public for so many reasons.

First off Ye Rustic is about a block from my first apt in LA and was the site of so many dumb crazy nights. Second the Rustic is a dirty greasy shit hole with a loud ass juke box and gross carpet and old dudes. I appreciate that you chose this dump to show the world your rekindled love because really what could better represent your relationship at this point them a greasy dump? Yup, nothing.

Palace of love!

I spent about 2 minutes wondering if you ordered a basket of their wings and if you got beer or a crappy mixed drink. And is Kristen 21 yet? When did that happen and how did I forget? Also Did you sit in one of those circular booths and feed quarters into the joke box so that the entire AC/DC discography would play? And then later did you stumble across the street to play darts at (the equally fabulous shit hole) The Drawing Room and complete the journey from sober paparazzi outing to totally shit faced illusion of love?

I’m only sad I wasn’t there to see the looks on the faces of the regulars as they sat on their bar stools and gave you the side eye. But I’m glad you included a famous local dive in your tour de love you’ve had over the last few days. I’m sure they’re gonna get a ton of business in a few weeks! BMC (before Mini Cooper) you guys were hardly seen out together so many times in one week but not now! But I guess with 30 days left… ain’t no time to lose!

Forgot something?

Also lunch out the next day? You two are working this public reconciliation thing hard! Nice try yall! Oh and KStew? Button your freaking pants up. It might have been hot the past few days here in LA, but this isn’t MTV Spring Break 1995 and you don’t have one of those sun/dolphin tattoos circling your belly button. Thanks.

Off to get some wings!
Moon

24 Commented


Countdown to THE END: Things we need to do before THE END of The Twilight Saga

Dear LTT,

Moon & I had a blog meeting last week to discuss the “Countdown to the End.” I know, I know. You don’t want to admit it, neither do we, but the end of the Twilight saga is coming & so we discussed things we want to do here on LTT this fall. One of those things is throw a big party in LA on November 11th (tentative but most likely date) Are you gonna be there? Good. Keep checking here for details. You’re invited.

But as I’ve been thinking through THE END (I think from here forward this should be capitalized just like ROBSTEN) I’ve been struck with how many things we haven’t yet accomplished. And I started making a list. Guys: We have A LOT to do between now and THE END. Some of it seems possible. Some…. not so much. I rated the possibility next to each item from 0-10. 0 means it’s impossible (or the opportunity passed) and 10 means HECK YEAH IT’S (probably not but maybe could but probably won’t) HAPPENING:

Here is what’s on the list:

1) Family dinner at the Olive Garden with the Lautner Family  10

2) Try on those damn contacts that everyone complains about so much. HOW BAD CAN THEY BE. REALLY?  8

3. Drink out of little bottles with Butt Crack Santa 8

4) Bang Rob. Really missed the boat on that one… We had a chance a few weeks ago when ROBSTEN was broken  10

5) Board game night with Ashley and Kellan. Wearing snuggies of course 9

6) Save Rachelle LeFevre’s Twilight career 0 (sorry about that Rach!)

7) Moon-UC-Big Daddy Lautner family photo. Get it printed on canvas & hang it above my bed when Mr. Choice isn’t looking 10

8) Shag Jackson after a 100 Monkeys Show 0 (damn, someone beat us to it. And by someone I mean a lot of people)

9) Wednesday night Bible Study with Kellan Lutz. Of course our first book we work through will be 50 Shades of Black & White: A Biblical Response to 50 Shades of Grey (it’s a real thing)   10

10) Big BBQ and bonfire with the original gangastas aka the Cullen Family over at Moon’s house.  10

11) Give nipple clamps or cheese wheels to a new cast member  0 (unless it still counts if we do it at the premiere in November? Then 10)

12) Family game night with the Meyers. Gotta make my famous Nachos for Pancho 10

13) And while we’re there steal their yearbook & look for the REAL Nacho. *wink* 10

14) Awkward interviews with Kristen because we know that she knows (what we said about her) 10 (but I kinda want it to be a 0. *scared)

15) Roleplay Renee and Phil meeting Charlie and Sue Clearwater at the wedding/baby shower/1st family christmas  10 (because WE NEED MORE ROLEPLAYS (remember the first one!?)

16) Be a famous fanfic author. Make $200,000 per day 10 (You read Moon’s “INSIDE OUR HOME” story Right? Brilliant)

Looks like we have a REALLY good chance of getting most of this done this Fall! Man we’re gonna be busy.

Counting down the days (and then crying into my pillow) until THE END (FYI 51…),
UnintendedChoice

Do you occasionally read LTR too? Go over there for a special message today. We banged Rob. (NO we didn’t. but go anyway)

9 Commented


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