Eclipse The Movie: Then & Now

Dear Eclipse DVD consumers,

So….Eclipse? Did you watch it? I am well-aware that Eclipse didn’t release this weekend everywhere in the world and that just sucks. Seriously, move to America. Not only do you not have Thanksgiving & you have to like soccer but you don’t even get movies at the same time we do! Not-Cool-rest of the world! (No really, stay in your country. I’m sure it’s great, I WISH more people liked soccer, and I’d really like to visit you in your country).

Anyway, I watched Eclipse at 9 pm Saturday night with @Brookelockart & pals. Let me set the scene: Fishtown Pennsylvania: I park under a bridge, think I’m gonna die but survive my 2 block walk to Brooke’s new house. I almost catch my scarf on fire making my world-famous stove-top popcorn, then I almost kill us with heart attacks using an entire ocean-filled with salt on my world-famous popcorn. Oops. But the time comes and we pop in the DVD (after figuring out how to use the DVD & watching Comcast On Demand Eclipse Extras in HD where Edward looks more like a dying ghost instead of a hot vampire because his make-up is so white). We watch the first 15 mintues. Then stop & re-start the first 15 minutes because some more people decided to join (semi-Twi virgins, which was HILARIOUS to experience with)

I’ll be honest, I wasn’t much looking forward to the movie. I don’t really know why- I just don’t think I was in a Twi-mood. But as soon as the drum kick sounded & the line “An innocent child in new orleans” sung by the Black Keys came through the TV speakers, I remembered…. and got the butterflies inside. It was interesting that I didn’t think about the 2nd time I saw the movie with my Philly Twi pals- no… it was the first Eclipse experience. I remember sitting next to Moon, squeezing her hand in anticipation.. and that first “Oh heyyyyyy” Moon said when Riley appeared on screen. Dang I forgot how hot that kid was but Oh Heyyyyy, Xavier, still!

(Oh, yes: You’re welcome)

But let’s recap what Moon & I thought about Eclipse almost 6 months ago when we penned you a letter at 4:30 am and see if our thoughts still stick. I just re-read Oh heyyyy we just saw Eclipse” and had a big chuckle. Which generally means it’s only funny to me! But overall, I thought or said out loud some of the exact same thoughts Saturday Night without remembering I had said them before. Here I thought I was being original when it turns out I was just ripping off myself from 6 months ago:

Original Thought: “Let’s talk about how we love Howard Shore for including the Sia & Metric songs throughout his score.”

Yes. I still love that. I haven’t listened to the Eclipse soundtrack for awhile (but New Moon has been playing daily in my office again!) so it all seemed new to me again! And when Edward was working Bella up only to let her down BIG TIME, I remembered the Sia song that was building up in the background- and then during the Leg hitch it explodes into beautifulness (the explosion is music beautifulness, much to Bella’s dismay) At which point I leaned over to Brookelockart and whispered “You know what? Edward could just go down on her & it would be fine. Win Win” Then we had a conversation entirely too inappropriate to share.

And DUDE where are all the Twilight fans with way too much time on their hands ripping these legit Eclipse scenes to You Tube for our viewing pleasure this weekend? Sorry for this crappy quality of an illegal video:

The score has always been lacking in my mind- Mr. Choice (a music composer himself) has always been a bit confused as to what exactly happened there- because we’re pretty sure that’s not the original score Howard Shore wrote- but the use of Metric & Sia throughout the entire theme is beautiful.

Original thoughtLet’s apologize to Edward for liking the Jacob & Bella kiss a litttttle bit too much”

Hmmmm….. I remember thinking even then that Taycob needs to calm down the head movements, but it was WAY distracting this time. I know for awhile there it seemed like I was riding the “Team Jacob” line, and I’m not sure where my head was, but I’m definitely back on Edward’s side. So I think I was just too pissed to enjoy Bella’s lucky day- with two boys who want her. PLUS the Twi-virgins we were with (who were ALL ABOUT Jacob- evidenced by the “oh shitttttss” that were moaned every time he appeared with his shirt off) REALLY couldn’t stand Bella’s wishy-washy-ness. Maybe it’s been so long since I’ve read the books & gotten so annoyed with Bella that I forgot. But I was reminded during that scene. And was thinking too strongly that “Bella’s a Bitch” to enjoy the kiss.

Original ThoughtLet’s get Jake some blotting tissues for that last scene when he looks like he’s dying of yellow fever.”

Dude! I already used that Yellow Fever joke!? I seriously thought the same thing Saturday night and planned to use it again today. I get it- he’s in pain- he’s sick- but dudeeeee. At least let Bella wipe him down a bit. I felt like I was looking at “The Situation” after he fell asleep in the tanning bed & stayed in for an hour or two too long (new joke- boom)

Original Thought
“Let’s put a call into L.A. Looks, and after thanking them for sponsoring Twilight with their donations of tubs of hair gel, ask them to move some of the allotted product for Taylor & pass it on to Rob to fix his floppy bangs.”

Move over L.A. Looks

I was getting a D.E.P. vibe Saturday night. And I think I was so happy to see Rob for an extended period of time without a big bushy beard & maintained sideburns (sorta) that I didn’t mind the floppy bangs! I’ll take what I can get!

Original ThoughtLet’s close our eyes and picture OURSELVES as Bella in a world where the guy on the bed is so hot that the gold brocade bedding he’s laying on doesn’t even matter.”

I mean…. can gold brocade ever not really matter? If Chuck Bass, Damon Salvatore & Edward Cullen wanted to have a foursome, but the condition was that it had to be on gold brocade bedding, I’d really try to convince them to pull out that air mattress they keep in the closet at the Salvatore mansion for when unexpected Vamp visitors swing by. Or see if we can borrow Rob Pattinson’s Hot Pocket Fort.

Original Thought “Let’s be grateful that most of the Bella/Edward getting-it-on scenes didn’t make us feel like we were watching Robsten preparing for an evening of licking cheese-whiz off each other”

I know! I mean, I’d say that none of the scenes made me feel that way this time. And I was worried- I mean, we’ve had Moantreal since Eclipse came out. But I got no Robsteny-vibes. I still think the Bella/Edward dialogue is semi-awkward with these long, drawn-out pauses in the beginning, but it picks up as it goes on.

Original thought
“Let’s talk about when we can burn down the jewelry store that created Bella’s engagement ring.”

THIS! Why have we not planned an LTT arson-day yet? I think one of the Twi-virgins’ exact words were “What the hell is that thing?
We don’t know, Twi virgin. It’s either a cheese grater for when they make “Italiano” or is a rock powerful enough to kill all the Cullen men with one blow. The jury is still out on that one.

And there is no original thought to accompany this one but JORTS!. I think it’s because I know that Stephenie mentions it in the commentary that I was looking out for how often they are worn, but DANG! They are EVERYWHERE. I like to think LTT can take some credit for that since we “Have much love for Jorts” or however Stephenie phrased it in the commentary (again- DUDE with the Twilight fans with a lot of extra time! Where is your screen shot transcription of the entire commentary!?) But sadly, no, we did not come up with the term. We have to thank the hipster neighborhoods both Moon & I reside in in Philadelphia & Los Angeles and the rednecks from which the hipsters stole their jorts-look.

All-in-all, my thoughts didn’t change much from my original viewing back in June. But I enjoyed this time around much more than expected. My only complaint is that they still weren’t able to figure out a way to keep Riley alive. Who cares about book to movie continuity? We want Xavier Samuel to stare at!!

Oh heyyyyy,
UnintnededChoice

What did you think? Did you watch the movie with some pals this weekend? Did you love it more or less than when you saw it months ago? Any new thoughts come to mind? Any new ah-ha moments or lines that were funny THIS time around!??

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTR, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

125 Commented


It’s Eclipse DVD time and I’ve got a party for you!

(*moon note: sorry for the delay in posting! major interwebz outage in LA last night that put a kink in my writing schedule. but never fear i am here! enjoy your weekend and your DVDs!!)

It all begins with a choice! Or something...

Dearest LTT-ers,

It’s that time of the year again. A new DVD is being released and we’re forced to decided between 3248235482 versions when all we want are deleted scenes (x rated extended leg hitch scene), the real commentary (Rob and Kristen talking about how much they read us), a making of docu, and a preview of BD… but since we won’t get those I’ll leave you to decide between all the choices. My choice? The Target one, I heard there’s a picture in picture option on the Robsten commentary and I want to feel like I’m sitting in the middle of a king size water bed with Rob and Kristen as we drink coco and enjoy a few laughs. What’s better than feeling the motion in Robsten’s ocean while hearing them talk about the magicness they found in catering one day. Finally, those catering people remembered to Fed Ex In-n-Out for the cast and how they teased Taylor with the meat patties. The hilarity I tell ya! Clearly, this will all happen while watching the Eclipse DVD by myself!

So now you’ve figured out which DVD to buy (the water bed one) but you need to figure out which place to celebrate! Seems that Walmart is having ‘parties’ all over the US and Blockbuster on Larchmont in LA is hosting Tinsel and some trivia but if fantasizing about Riley in the garden section with a toothless bumpkin isn’t your idea of a good Friday night or you don’t live in shi-shi Larchmont in LA then why don’t you host your own event? That’s what I’ll be doing. It’s called the “Adult women celebrate a 17 year old vampire they never tell their real life friends about so they gather with their internet friends to oogle said boy vampire and get drunk because that’s normal party.” Sounds like fun, right? Sounds like every day to me.

We’ve seen what the Twimoms can do with a party when left to their own devices, See: The Oprah show. If you’re here we know you don’t have a red bathrug cum red carpet in your basement or even have a shirt with a cast member’s face on it, or have dipped Team Jacob/Edward specific strawberries. We’re all “adults” here so I’ll give you step by step instructions for an LTT/LTR approved Eclipse party…

Eclipse DVD parties RULE!

Run to the nearest liquor store and stock up on booze (boxed wine for folks like Jane Trigs, cheap champagne for people like The Font, whatever’s on sale for UC), get some crackers and cheese and a chocolate bar at the TJ’s nearest you, buy whatever DVD you want, put on some sweatpants, eat the cheese and make inappropriate noises whenever a male cast member comes on screen. Fast forward through the women. Presto! Instant party!

You’re Welcome!
Themoonisdown

So what are your plans for the DVD? Throwing an LTT approved party? Going to Wally World? Opening your mailbox and taking out the DVD? Spill it!

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTR, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

87 Commented


Remember when Stephenie Meyer mentioned us in the Eclipse DVD Commentary?

Dear Stephenie,

Sooooo…. this happened…

click to enlarge for massive awesomeness

Saturday, @Raze71 tweeted us this screen shot from the Eclipse commentary between you and producer Wyck Godfrey. We freaked, we thought we were being Punk’d, we freaked again, we virtually high fived, you said the word “JORTS!” then we had a 45 minute conversation about how we couldn’t believe it.

Nice Jorts, Wyck! You're down with the kids

Then the haters came to play. And as much as they tried to rain on our parade (and boy, did they try) we refused to play that game because you know what, you decided to mention JORTS and US in your commentary and not them so we win and they can SDASTFU (yea, I came up with that one in a fit of crazy emailing between UC and me. have fun figuring it out).

We get that we don’t appeal to everyone and we don’t want to. All we’ve ever wanted to do was make each other laugh. We started that way almost two years ago and we will end it by doing that or die trying. We play by our own rules and we’re unapologetic for that. But that may just be why you’ve read and mentioned us a few times. Honestly, we don’t know why you’ve read us but we are forever appreciative and actually it makes us like you even more because we think you ‘get it’ and that couldn’t make us more proud and make the buzz from our opposition nothing more than an annoying fly buzzing around us that needs to be crushed.

So uh Taylor... I hear they're called Jorts...

Now we would normally ignore these losers who believe anything they hear but they’re so wildly misinformed about us I just have to say one thing to them: WE DON’T HATE KRISTEN STEWART.

Oh and get a life.

Whew. So seriously though Stephenie you said JORTS in the commentary to Wyck Godfrey! That’s like your mom saying “fart” in church or your grandma saying MILF. It’s pretty amazing.

Thank you.
Themoonisdown

PS Have a very Happy Thanksgiving tomorrow everyone!

EVERYONE head over to LTR to read a letter that NEEDS to be read NOW!!!!

Can you believe this??? Cray cray to the max yall! I can’t wait for the DVD to come out in a few weeks. AH!

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTRThe ForumTwitterThe Store

150 Commented


In the mind of UC

Dear LTTers,

Today’s Monday post is quite scattered because that’s how I roll these days. My mind is everywhere. Work is SO busy (for you newbies- blogging about vampires unfortunately does not pay the bills, so I have a full-time job of making people want to buy hot tubs); I’ve been spending what moments I can catching up with friends I have neglected unintentionally over the last 6 months; getting acquainted with the city of Philadelphia into which I recently moved & am falling in love with; helping my husband start a business which so far pays nothing but requires the attention of a high-paying job; figuring out how to pay the bills while one of us has a no-paying job & occasionally trying to sleep. Plus my cats are mad at me at acting out. Seriously- cats act out? Apparently.

Anyway, with all of that on my mind, I feel so out of the Twi-loop. So I hopped over to one of my favorite sites: TwiCrack Addict- to find out what has been going on and… well, I guess there hasn’t been much of a “loop” to be out of. Aren’t all the cast members IN New Orleans? How is there NOTHING going on?

Not to mention I miss my partner. The best part (and what makes the stress worth it part) of blogging for the past (almost) two years is: Moon. You know- this girl:

Whether it’s talking about life outside of Twilight, laughing about things that made us fall in love with the saga in the first place or just chatting about new music, friends in common & people that drive us BOTH nuts, Moon is my Twi-soul mate. And she’s been equally as busy as I have been- plus she’s been away for the past few days with her family- so my Twi-mojo seems to have gone with her. Or it’s locked up in a hotel or conference room or sound stage where the Twilight cast members are! Anyway, what little news I DID find is this:

Reneeessemmeee:

This girl is FREAKIN’ adorable:

Although 8 years older than Renesemee should be, I trust Bill Condon & Stephenie Meyer. I mean, I think. I mean….. damn.. time to start praying & fasting for Breaking Dawn……

Also she’s wayyyy to young to be posing like this:

Ashley Greene- stay away from this child. You are not the influence say, Nikki Reed should be- I mean.. Kristen Stewart.. no wait…. umm…… How about she hangs out with Taylor & Selena Gomez? Boo Boo Stewart? Is there a “I’m keeping it in my pants” Twilight cast members club? She should go there. And to Chuck E. Cheese with Big Daddy. You know he’s been begging Taylor to introduce them so he can ask her if they can go on a “Big Daddy & adopted daughter date.” Ever since last year, Taylor is no longer interested in going…. Also Chris Hansen is bound to be there watching to make sure no funny business goes on- and I miss the guy!

Eclipse DVD:

So the DVD is coming out soon, huh? December 4th to be exact (yep, had to look that one up. My how times have changed! I WENT to a Twilight DVD release party. Not so much this time around…)

It got me thinking about my Twilight DVD & how i have no idea where it is. And- quite possibly going to blow your mind alert- I can’t even remember if I ever bought New Moon on DVD. SHOCK! I probably did, but I honestly have no idea. Is that weird? Am I alone here? I’ve talked about those two movies SO much that it’s just hard for me to want to break them out and pop them in the DVD player. I think it’ll have to be a few years away from all of “This” before I want to watch them again.

Cathy Hardi:

Always the fashion icon:

She writes our jokes FOR us! She’s trying to class it up at this event- this isn’t the time to slam down the Ultimate Cougarita. No- she’s hoping for a Martini to take her name tonight- maybe just something called “The Cathy” or “The Hardi.” Berry-flavored, of course. What else could those tights mean?

Sigh, Dear Twilight saga cast, crew, books, movies, Big Daddy: Give us something good this week, I’m begging you. Get me out of this Twi-slump!

XO,
UnintendedChoice

Do you feel like you’re in a Twi-slump? Do you love Cathy’s combat boots + berry tights combo? How adorable is I-forget-her-real-name Renesmee? Do you miss Big Daddy as much as I do?

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTR, The Forum, Twitter, The Store


113 Commented


Twilosophy: Eclipse vs. New Moon

TwilosophyDear Twilosophy class,

Remember Eclipse? That movie that came out in June? And then was re-released this weekend to “celebrate” Bella’s birthday- aka Summit was disappointed with their box office results because they expected to blow New Moon out of the water and they didn’t? Oh yeah….. That movie.

I’ve been thinking about Eclipse a lot lately. Well, since I heard about the re-released in theaters for Bella’s birthday. I considered going to see it again. By “considered” I mean I laid in bed with my phone right after reading the news in my email & thought, “Maybe I should go” before falling back to sleep, never considering it again.

There’s been some talk around town (aka this 1 blog I read) about why Breaking Dawn Part 1 and Part 2 are releasing a year apart. And I think it’s pretty obvious: There was a year between Twilight & New Moon. And New Moon kicked ASSSSSSSSSS money-wise. When Eclipse came out 7 months later? The opening weekend was down almost HALF (and kids were out of school!) and while it hasn’t been out as long as New Moon, it hasn’t grossed as much. And it probably should have grossed more seeing as the popularity of the saga has only grown. Not that $672,498,560 world-wide gross is a bad thing. I mean I’d take that if I had to.

But the lack of Eclipse “success” makes me feel either worse or better about what I’m about to confess.  I am part of the reason for Eclipse not doing as well as New Moon. Yes, dear LTT readers, I only saw Eclipse two times. I feel bad because because of me, they lost $42.00 ($10.50 x 4). My waist is happy because I consumed 2,520 less calories in the form of popcorn (630 x 4- that’s for real. for a SMALL. I looked it up. BLOG RESEARCH RULES!) But I also feel good because it wasn’t just me who saw Eclipse less. Obviously due to the smaller numbers, the fandom overall did too.

I got thinking about why I didn’t see Eclipse 4 times like I did Twilight and 6 times like I did New Moon. This is what I came up with:

My Kung Fu isn't as strong as I let you think...

Harry Clearwater’s Kung Fu really isn’t that strong

And what I mean is…. the jokes weren’t as funny. Sure, sure – that’s a good thing for Mel Mel Rosenburg who finally wrote a semi not 2nd-hand embarrassing script, but it’s a sad thing for my funny bone- and for yours. I mean- you know what I’m talking about. How many times can we make Mike Newton fat jokes & talk about Charlie Swan’s obvious new-found virginity? If I make one more crack about the eyebrows in this film I think someone might murder me.

There’s such a thing as too much Rob

GASP! I know! I said it. And I don’t really mean it. I could never have too much of that Motha Truckn’ Brit, but it is possible that the Twilight saga, the actors & the story were just too overexposed. Despite the fact that we HATE waiting for the next installment in our beloved story, maybe not waiting as long means we’re not as engaged. We went from New Moon filming to Remember Me filming to movies about Mullets & lesbians to Eclipse filming to NEW MOON then LET DOWN after New Moon then Bel Ami, whatever teen drama/chick flick Taylor filmed once or twice and then ANTICIPATION of Eclipse then finally, ECLIPSE!

The Leg Hitch really wasn’t that good

But when I re-read Eclipse & read that scene, it’s good once again. Why? Because in the book it’s the Bella & Edward of my mind- before I knew who the actors playing them were. And, well, if I’m honest, I’m Bella. And Edward is leg hitching ME. When I watch the scene in the movie, it’s so glaringly obvious that Rob Pattinson aka Edward Cullen is not Leg Hitching ME. Sadface.

You call this boring!?

The minute Tay-Tay turned 18, he got boring

It’s not funny to joke about Chris Hansen anymore- unless we talk about Boo-Boo Stewart and that’s just BLEH. I wish Taylor was forever 17! He was so much more interesting then. At least not be legally allowed to like him gave me a reason to try. And now that I could jump his bones all I want if I had a desire (bleh), I have no interest. So love triangle between Edward, Bella & Taylor Lautner? No thanks.

That’s all I can come up with. And I know I’m not alone. Moon is worse than me- she saw Eclipse 1 and 3/4 times (missed the first bit of her second showing!) and obviously someone else hasn’t seen Eclipse as much as they did New Moon since the box office numbers don’t lie. What is it!? Why is a movie that was so obviously better made, and not to mention my favorite book, so much less desirable than the others?

Andddd Discuss!

Love,
UnintendedChoice

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTR, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

105 Commented


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