Twilight museum of art (and crap)

Dear Fans of LTT and Fans of art,

We spend so much time making fun of things on LTT that I bet most people think Moon & I are the meanest people in real life. We’re not usually. I thought it was time to celebrate some of the beautiful things that come out of the fandom. Cuz there are some. I’m being serious. Don’t think that I’m gonna pretend like they’re great & then show you the most second-hand embarrassing art EVER that surely would star in the “Second-Hand Embarrassing Art Museum” in Manhattan (that doesn’t exist… yet)

Let’s stroll together through the Twilight Museum of Art….

Twilight___New_Moon_by_ember_snow

This scene found on google images beautifully depicts the theme of racism throughout the Twilight Saga. Wait. Were you aware of those themes? That instead of being a story of girl stuck between vampire & werewolf it’s really a story of a girl choosing between those paler than her or darker than her? Me neither. Okay, so maybe that’s not what the artist was trying to say, but isn’t art in the eye of the beholder? That’s what I saw here, but I still think it’s beautiful!

Alice_by_RinianAlice, drawn by Rinian, looks as cute as I had pictured her while reading the series. I wish I could be best friends with a cartoon character

eclipse___Tied_Up_by_shirohatoLOVE this picture of Bella and the two different colored ribbons representing the choice she has to make. Also love that she seems like a ballerina because, I don’t know about you, but I could’ve used less of a klutzy Bella.  By shirohato

Rosalie__s_Unhappy_Ending_by_Eclipse_AwayThis is my favorite piece that I’m sharing with you on our journey through the Twilight museum of art. The artist explained that this is a representation of Rosalie’s unhappy ending. If you look closely you’ll see her ghost in the picture, too. I have goosebumps. Found here on deviant art

bellaedwardThere is so much Bella & Edward art out there. Mostly because there are so many great pictures of Robert & Kristen together- so people just use their pictures as inspiration. While often times they can be good (although mostly they’re not), I love this because it’s the artist’s vision of Edward & Bella. Plus added with the quote from New Moon (appropriate placed- not inked in an armpit or doodled on the back of a minivan) it’s incredibly powerful! Found here

See! Wasn’t that fun!? To take a walk through the Twilight art gallery and, maybe laugh a little less, but instead be inspired!? And Look at me! I am being so nice today. Come on- you have to admit it, you like nice UC….

Fine… it’s hard for me too.. I’ll cave… after the jump, enjoy the good stuff…. Continue…

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A Twilight-themed Wedding

bella engagement ringDear UC & Moon,

I am writing to ask for your advice. I have recently gotten engaged & I was reading Eclipse & noticed Stephenie’s description of Bella’s Ring. My ring sounds almost identical! It was my fiancee’s grandmothers. I can’t believe the similarities between Bells & myself.  I met my fiancee when I was 17 and we fell in love very quickly.  Some would say we were a little obsessed with each other.  Well, after a few months, my now fiancee left me.  Yes- just like when Edward left Bella. It was basically a huge misunderstanding, but I was depressed for months. I lost 4 pounds and barely slept. After 2 months we got back together and have been together ever since! Isn’t that crazy?! Just like Bella & Edward! His name is Stu. I call him my Stuward. Anyway, when I realized the ring was just like Bella’s, it got me thinking- why don’t I have a Twilight-themed wedding!? Could you or your readers help me come up with ideas?

Love,
Twi-Bride to Be

Dear Twi-Bride to be,

YES! We love planning parties- planning a wedding can’t be that much different. And we LOVE Twilight, so combining a wedding with Twilight is a Win Win idea all around! This is so up our alley. We have 10 suggestions for you and some pictures that will hopefully provide inspiration!

  1. bella-s-wedding-twilight-series-6053356-500-343The Books: First of all, we definitely recommend bringing Eclipse & Breaking Dawn with you whenever you meet with vendors for your wedding- especially for those very important dress shopping trips. You should make sure to always be thinking with your “Cullen eyes”- think about everything the way that Alice, Bella or Edward would…. (probably focus on the Alice part- Bella Eyes might take you to David’s Bridal! Oh the horror!)
  2. Glitter: Don’t forget to adorn yourself in glitter. You need to be a sparkling beauty for all your guests. If The Stuward is a unique guy (and it sounds like he is) he might want to adorn himself in glitter as well.  For added effect, why don’t you have his chest exposed slightly- just have the buttons done half-way and have his jacket open.  If you have the extra money, dim the lights in the room & have a spotlight shine directly on his chest (that way the audience will really see him sparkle)
  3. Bridesmaid flowers: Instead of flowers, your bridesmaids should carry red, satin ribbons. If you’re at a loss for the perfect bridesmaid accessory, why don’t you fashion a mask out of the eclipse ribbon? The girls can hold it up to their eyes when they feel it’s appropriate
  4. Music: Walk down the aisle to something from the Twilight soundtrack.  It depends on what you’re like. If you want a party atmosphere, we suggest Perry Farrell’s “Go all the way.” If you’d like something more somber, maybe walk down to “Clair de Lune.” That’s probably a good choice as it’s pretty unique and probably hasnt’ been done in many weddings. If you want my honest opinion, I’d suggest walking down to “Never Think” by Robert Pattinson.  How beautiful would it be to walk toward your Stuward hearing the guy who played Edward sing a song? I have chills thinking of the moment…
  5. the-cullen-wedding-1368485a94The Vows: I know it’s trendy to write your own vows these days, but wouldn’t it be even trendier to have Edward & Bella write them for you? (Or… Stephenie Meyer?) Why don’t you try using only quotes from the 4 books (The Stuward could include some from Midnight Sun, if he wishes). Here is a quick example:To my darling Twi-Bride to be: Trust me. You look…sexy. Your number was up the first time I met you. I hope you enjoy dissapointment. It makes me…anxious… to be away from you. Do you really have any idea how important you are to me? Any concept at all of how much I love you? Look after my heart — I’ve left it with you. And the sound of your heart. It’s the most significant sound in my world. Tell me what you want, and you can have it. All of my best nights have happened since I met you. You love me more than I deserve.
  6. The Centerpieces: We think your centerpieces could incorporate a little bit of everything from the book series. Might we suggest bringing a little bit of Isle Esme to your reception hall? How about starting with a replica of a headboard (if you want to really get crazy- crack it!) glue on some feathers, add an apple or two, place a few chess pieces strategically in the center & top it off with some of the ribbons your bridesmaids will be carrying- you’ll represent the books but also have something sensual for you and your Stuward to enjoy.
  7. ruffledtulipsFlowers: The only flower you should use is the ruffled tulip- like the one on the front of New Moon. You could even give them out as your gifts- with a little card attached that says:”The lion fell in love with the lamb. But then he left the lamb for a little while, but then he came back and now the lion and lamb are married. Thank you for sharing in our joy”
  8. The garter: After The Stuward removes the garter from your leg, when he’s walking around, hands in the air doing a celebratory dance, he should yell “I AM Spider Monkey.” It can be your little secret sign to each other about the monkey-business that will happen later that evening.
  9. Blood: Obviously you can’t serve cups of blood at your reception (although that would be cool!) but you can pretend that you are! Dye everything red- use red wine, dye the water red, serve Bloody Marys & red jello shots. Spill red spots all over the white tableclothes – Ooh dip the edge of your dress in red dye!
  10. IsleEsme-1The Honeymoon: I assume you’re saving your virtue for your wedding night, as Bella & Edward did, so that’s taken care of. Have you been searching for french lingere? You know that’s the only kind Alice would approve of.  Just a few honeymoon tips from a gal who’s already experienced her Isle Esme: Use lines in the Twilight series’ as dirty talk.  We already mentioned “Spider Monkey” above, but that comes in handy quite often. You have no idea what it does to a guy when he hears “Spider Monkey” roll off your tounge. Another good one is “My Monkey Man.” (especially appropriate when he shows you his banana for the first time)  When you’re ready to see your Stuward in the buff, demand to see his “Buttcrack Santa.” He’ll get a laugh out of it and it will ease the tension.  You could even get him a little Santa hat and have him wear that (and only that) for your first time!
Please please PLEASE send us pictures so that we can see what it turned out like! (We’d especially like to see The Stuward in that Santa hat!) Good luck & Congratulations!
you are an idiot if you mirror yoru wedding after twilight
Love,
UC & Moon
don’t be an idiot
Don’t ever do this for your wedding. Don’t ever ever ever ever ever mirror your wedding after a book about vampires. Ever. If you do decide not to take our advice, use the following art board for inspiration:

and use this:
AND NOTHING ELSE: Do not google “twilight-themed wedding inspiration” DON’T DO IT! You will regret it….
i heart rob
Have a question for your Aunties Moon & UC? Email it to us at letterstotwilight@gmail.com & we would be happy to answer it and maybe even feature you as a post!
rob hearts me back
Today is the last day! Send us in your Twi-Porn for our Porn-off with The Twilight Sisterhood!

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Perfect Sunday activity: The Twilight Art Gallery

Dear Art lovers,

It’s Sunday- the perfect day to take a stroll scroll through the Twilight Art Gallery.

First up, we have a beautiful depiction of what it is like when Jacob dreams of Bella:

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Apparently Jacob dreams that Bella has a brown bear coming out of her head. And Raven claws for hands...

You can find this masterpiece on Etsy for a mere $8.00

Next we have a beautiful pencil drawing of Edward:

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Edward "Crooked-face" Cullen

This, also available on Etsy, is a steal for $5.00

Our next artist has done a beautiful job depicting what Edward might look like as a drag queen.

Unfortuneately, "Drag Queen Edward" was not her intended result...

Unfortunately, "Drag Queen Edward" was not her intended result...

Add this to your collection of “Handsome men turned drag queen creepers” for a mere $15

And last but not least, introducing the perfect addition to your outfit the next time you stalk Robert Pattinson in a foreign country, men’s bathroom or the secret garage under his hotel:

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I'm less afraid of the BIG BAD WOLF than I am of these shoes...

Perfecting your outfit for Rob Pattinson stalking does not come cheap. These custom shoes are $130.

This concludes our Sunday tour of the Twilight Art Gallery. I hope you are inspired!

Love,
UnintendedChoice

Thanks for Sara & Li Li for the links!

Cleanse your mind with actual good Twilight art: Bella and Deepest Loss

*Etsy links not shown to protect the artist we are making fun of honoring. If you would like to puchase one of these pieces, please e-mail us & we’ll be happy to send you to their Etsy stores.  And then we will make fun of you. Behind your back. And probably publically.

Not sure what else to do on a lazy Sunday? Hop on over to LTR then to The Forum

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The Twilight Museum of Art

Dear LTT-ers,

It’s Monday and I couldn’t be happier to celebrate this glorious, beautiful sun shiny day! I spent all yesterday thinking about how much I couldn’t wait for Monday, my favorite day of the week, and to share with you all the awesome pieces of Twilight art I’ve been collecting… it’s like a virtual museum of all the best artists in the world on my hard drive right now!

Now sit back and enjoy this joyous Monday!
Themoonisdown

alicedrawing

click to enlarge and enjoy the beauty!

When I look into Alice’s eyes I can really see the soul of her character… it’s almost like she’s seeing the future and the artist just happened to catch it on paper

click to enlarge and enjoy his true beauty

click to enlarge and enjoy his true beauty

I’m glad Edward’s true self has been captured for all the world to see. It was so obvious in the books that Edward was really a make up artist waiting to break free and show his love of MAC’s “Russian Red” lipstick. Sometimes it just takes a talented artist to bring a characters true self out

To continue this tour of the best art in the world take the cut!
Continue…

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Free Therapy for the Twilight Lover

Dear needy Twilighters,

Q: "Why don't the Twi boys like ME?" A: "Screw them. Come visit our Unicorns at LTT!"

Ashley Greene on my couch: Q: "Why don't the Twi boys like ME?" A: "Screw them. Come visit our Unicorns at LTT!"

We really should start charging. I mean every day we get e-mails and comments from people all over the globe thanking us for giving them an outlet for their Twi-(and Rob) session & an opportunity to connect with other people “just like them.” I mean, people who meet on LTR & LTT are meeting up all over the country- 4 gals met in Nashville last weekend. Two met for lunch a few days ago. One of our forum mods is flying to visit an LTR buddy she met just 2 months back. And any day we expect an invitation from either ArmyUnicorn or Jordan for their wedding to a girl they met on LTT. People pay good money for this kind of therapy! Why are we doing it for free? (Note to Moon: write down in Twidea book “start charging a LOT of money for services offered.”

We just want to share a little story with you so that you know what CAN happen if you listen to your Aunt UnintendedChoice and Aunt TheMoonisDown.  All your dreams can come true:

About a month ago, we received a comment on LTT from a new reader. She said,

I am writing to ask for your help. I previously wrote to tell you that I was new to Twilight and really enjoyed y’alls site. That enjoyment is quickly turning into obsession, as I can easily tell has happened to millions.

I really enjoyed your post about being well-rounded, great ideas! I just can’t seem to get enough and it is totally affecting so many parts of my life. In some ways, it is wonderful…..others, distracting. I was recently snow sking while on vacation with my family. I spent so much of the time thinking about how I could squeeze in Twilight. I would listen to the soundtrack while skiing, think about it on the lift, on the slopes. My husband is very understanding and he even built me an Edward snowman and made a comment that the snow sparkled like Edward.

Since I am “new” to all this, I am curious to know how long I should expect this obsession to last. I spend every free moment I have reading the books…again, watching the movie….again, looking at websites…again. When does it get easier? When can I pull myself away? Thanks so much for any help you can lend. I truly appreciate the dedication and commitment you have to people like me! -dazzled

I put on my glasses, pulled my hair up into a sexy loose bun, straightened out the pillows on my therapy couch then had my way with Rob on it invited dazzled to hear my amazing (free) advice:

Hmm… good question! The major obsession will pass… eventually, but if it’s really affected you, which is seems like it has, you might just have to figure out how to balance it in your life. My suggestion- try reading another book. It will be hard, but it will be good for you! Turn off the soundtrack- maybe try something FROM the soundtrack- Mutemath or Muse? Tell yourself you can only look online for twilight news 3 days a week…. It’ll pass.. but it sounds like it might be with you for awhile!

Problem solved. NEXT for the couch: Pattinson Pants lady wants to know if she should or should not wear her Pattinson Pants when she meets Pattinson. Um, hell no. You’re crazy.

After the jump, see the update we just got this week from our “client” dazzled.

Continue…

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