I sat down in front of my computer last night with the notes I’ve been jotting down the past week for my very last personal “Letter to Twilight” and I couldn’t do it. It was partially because I had two cats sleeping on my lap and I was uncomfortable. Partially because I had just written up something for That’s Normal and I really wanted to watch Revenge (then I realized IT WASN’T EVEN NEW. I CAN’T HANDLE THESE DAMN-WINTER FINALES), but it was a lot because this is really really really times 1 million bittersweet and I don’t feel ready yet to write down all the words that are in my head. Yes, I’m stalling. Yes, I’m sad about the end. Yes, I’m also excited for a “new chapter” in the online lives of UC & Moon and all the adventures to come, but I’m also really really sad that LTT is coming to a close. I know I’ll write about Twilight again on That’s Normal. I know that the LTT archives will be up here for YEARS to come, but this little community that we carved out in a big, scary fandom has meant the absolute world to me- YOU have meant the absolute world to me, and I’m just not ready to say good-bye.
So I’m not. Yes because I’m tired and it’s Sunday night as I type this and I haven’t talked to Moon all weekend & that’s pretty important when we’re writing a “HEY LTT SEE YA” letter together. But also because we got two other #RIPTwilight letters since Saturday & I think you should read them Plus in my search for reasons why I love LTT so much I found the world’s best post, which we will revisit- so read on!
We love our Canadians
The end? I can handle these words when it comes to the end of a movie or the end of a book. Maybe even the end of the Mayan Calendar — okay, who am I kidding, I can’t handle that end either — but what I really can’t handle is the end of this little corner of my world. I found LTT in early 2009 and like many of us I was struggling with what real life had to offer. Twilight came into my life at just the right time, offered me the escape I so badly needed and brought about an obsession I hadn’t felt since my Grade 9 crush on a senior boy named Luke (lucky for Luke, blogs didn’t exist back then). Anyhow, I had never before felt such a passion for a story and had never been involved in a fandom. I had no idea what to expect but immediately felt at home on LTT. Being a professional in my real life there was no one I could risk discussing peacoats, meadows or mushroom ravioli with while keeping my street cred. I honestly felt that each LTT post was speaking right to me or could have possibly been written by me …if I was that creative or witty.
LTT very quickly became apart of my morning routine. I remember several mornings cursing myself when I managed to get my computer fired up & coffee brewed before the days post went live. I also remember many late nights putting off sleep for fear of missing a new “can’t miss” thread in the forum. Some might suggest I be ashamed of the day (or five) that I spent an entire work day looking at trashy pap photos or the day I was late picking my child up from school or the day I blew off a very important doctors appointment because shirtless photos of Rob Pattinson hit the interwebs — but I’m not. At all. That’s Normal!
LTT has not only brought many laughs over the years and an escape from real life pressures, it has also brought into my life some of the most fabulous women (and a couple of men) who I am grateful to call friends of mine. I will forever be thankful to UC, Moon and the entire LTT group.
We met on a Plane
One of my favorite LTT connections is with “Plane friend”- a friend I made in college (we met ON a plane traveling away from or to college!) who I reconnected with on LTT!
Dear LTT, Steph, and everything else Twilight,
I don’t really know how to say “good-bye”.
I’ve felt this way before. There are some books/TV shows that see us through times of transition and that it’s hard to accept are really over, even when they are. Friends ended the year I graduated college and I STILL hope they’ll do a reunion show one of these years. Gilmore Girls was the show that saw me through getting married and the beginning of my (short-lived) teaching career. Harry Potter was one of the YA series that bonded me with my students and introduced me to the concept of midnight movie releases and, even better, midnight bookstore releases. I still miss every one of those series, and they still bring back all sorts of nostalgia for me.
Twilight, though, will always trump every other series send off, because it means the most to me, to the point where I don’t even know how to acknowledge that it’s really over. Twilight saw me through the two hardest things I’ve ever experienced: infertility and becoming a mom. Sparkly vampires were a perfect escape from needles and disappointing test results (at first) and then the much more enjoyable (but still yucky) things like spit up and messy diapers once my dreams came true.
I know this is a more emotional (yes, I admit I’m crying while I type this) letter than we usually do here on LTT, but I still wanted to share. Because Twilight–and all the millions of laughs we had here on LTT–have meant so, so much to me through the last four years.
And no matter what you say about being done writing about Forks, Steph, I am holding out hope that there will be that sequel narrated by Nessie and Leah. Honestly, I think it would make a perfect transition for sending my only daughter off to kindergarten…or middle school..or even college.
Love and gratitude from
The Plane Friend
A story so precious to us.. years later
I hope you remember MidnightCyn– I still see her pop up in the comments every once in awhile & know she reads religiously! If you don’t remember or want a refresher, here is Cyn’s full story, but to recap, Cyn had an accident that caused a 50-first dates-type reaction where every day was like learning everything all over again.. and Twilight changed her life.
You’ve been my lifeline since you first posted my original letter and I cannot, no matter how hard I try, find the words to Thank, UC/Moon and all my Twilight friends! You all pulled me out of the dark hole I was living in and surrounded me with love, understanding and patience. Suddenly, I had friends again! I couldn’t wait to wake up and jump onto LTT (where I still go everyday) and these once total strangers welcomed me into their world without question or judgement at my obvious difficulties! I found support, comfort and the kindest people I have ever “met”. Most importantly, it was a safe place to go and share my love for all things Twilight with those that not only understood but felt the same way! I finally had a reason to laugh again, (the spit out your morning coffee kind of laughter) and most of all I felt like I belonged there, which for someone like me, I never thought I would experience that again.
.. I will forever be grateful!
Mr. Choice’s last Letter
As much as I tried & hinted and promised all sort of leg hitches & special hugs, I couldn’t get my husband Mr. Choice to pen one last Letter to Twilight. However, just as he has shown me for FOUR years now, he cares. He knows how much LTT and you all have meant to me despite complaining about it and rolling his eyes more often than not. He knows what this has meant to me & has been nothing but supportive (supportive with a side of 2nd-hand embarrassed for his Twilight-obsessed wife) for all these years.
The other day I was in the middle of something important- probably looking up pictures of Joseph Gordon Levitt- and he told me to put down my computer to listen to something for 6 minutes. And for 6 long minutes we listened to his very first “Letter To Twilight” (which in fact was NOT really to Twilight and WAS a 6 minute “radio interview” with “Robert Paddleston”) Done years ago in 2009 long before we realized how embarrassing this would be, saved in the archives of the world wide web for all time, Mr. Choice spent the time ON HIS OWN to learn about my “hobby” that “boy” I crushed on and support it in the only way he knew how- making fun of it (I learned it from somewhere!)
And making me listen to it again, with my hands over my face and almost crying from 2nd-hand embarassment giggles is his one last Letter to Twilight.
Here is the original post from 2009. And you do NOT want to miss the audio below: