Speculation Wednesday

Today is Speculation Wednesday which is just like Speculation Thursday but on a Wednesday. I know, I’m brilliant. We’re gonna speculate about a few things today. And all of these things will lead to one big speculation. It’s gonna rule:

Dear Michael Oregano,

I did some research about you. I found a fan site so I could be better informed. First off, you were in Almost Famous and on Will & Grace? Dude! I just thought you were a guy that dated Kristen- maybe her next door neighbor or something! Turns out you really are an actor- I thought you just said that so you could feel cooler next to Robert Pattinson.

Anyway, your fan site isn’t updated as much as some other sites out there (say, any one of the gazillion Rob sites!), but I found no evidence to suggest you are currently off filming a moving picture anywhere. I also checked out IMDB and it looks like from the 4 things you’ve done with your life since 2007, 2 are completed and 2 are in post-production. This evidence brings me to conclude that you are at home, in LA. So…

  • Why weren’t you at the MTV awards? Did you hear your girlfriend was up for a few things? In fact… she won.
  • Why didn’t you join Rob, Kristen & 3 others for dinner after the MTV awards if you were told to stay away by Summit and/or Kristen’s management?
  • Why did Kristen supposedly stay at a hotel the night of the MTV awards when she could’ve stayed at your place, instead of a hotel or driving home to the valley?

In fact…. where are you? Why has there been no sign of you since those pictures surfaced of you and Kristen happily skipping down the street, holding hands in Vancity?

I’m gonna speculate that the rumors are true and you and Kristen are no longer together.

Dear Nikki Reed,

I’m concerned. Where were you Sunday night? How in the world was Mike Newton  at the MTV awards to accept the award for best picture and Rosalie Hale wasn’t? Were you off pretending to be in college somewhere? I, too, preformed some research on you and found no evidence to suggest that you are off filming anywhere. Being the Los Angeles resident you are, you should have been there.

All this confusion over Sunday night is forcing me to admit something I haven’t wanted to… Because by admitting this, I might as well shoot Moon & myself in the feet. It discredits us. It truly does. You see, for so long we have shared with the world, no PROVED to the world that you and Kristen are fake lesbians. But I am now being forced to speculate that you and Kristen are not only no longer fake lesbians, but you’re no longer even friends. Moon & I might as well pack up our computers and call it quits right now.

The sudden appearance of your new bff from that band Sage and the Dills arosed my suspicions long ago. But the lack of hand-holding, “we’re just friends,” googly-eyed (possible nipple tweeking) photos emerging of you and Kristen has forced me to speculate that your friendship with Kristen has ended.

All this speculation must be leading to something, right? Of course. Find out after the jump! Continue…

Add Comments


Weekend at Oregano’s

Dear Micheal (I won’t call you Oregano for this one)-

We saw some pictures on Lainey (where else?) today and just wanted to thank you for making Kristen smile! It seems like a long time since that ol sour puss has seemed genuinely happy and excited to doing something, even walking down the street with you! I looked at these pictures and thought, wow, she’s really pretty and having a great time with you! Unlike my usual reaction of annoyance with her.

So I was thinking what was the big deal about this weekend? Why are it so great? And I came up with these ideas… Cause this is what I sit around doing Michael, making up shiz like this… my life rules. Obviously… BUT back to the list!

01. Kristen is now 19 and you guys can party in Canada. I’m sure you two kids need a little liquid courage to get the good times rolling

02. Kristen spends all week staring at a buffed out Taylor and the Wolfpack and was ready to pounce when you showed up

03. Rob was outta town! And so was Nikki! For once you had her all to yourself, no conspiracies theories, no fake on screen vampire boyfriends, no fake lesbian lovers… just the two of you!

04. You brought up Kristen’s special bong for a visit. My how she’s missed it!

05.You two watched all the episodes of Will & Grace that you play Jack’s son. JUST ELLIOT! (does the *just jack hands*) Who could keep a straight face when Megan Mullally and Sean Hawes are on screen?!

And all those add up to create a recipe for a GREAT weekend! Am I right, Kristen? Am I right? (nudge nudge, wink wink!)

I mean Micheal, you must have some special motion in your ocean ifyouknowwhatimsayin’ to make her smile THIS much! I underestimated you Arangano… never again!

Nothings gonna rain on your parade!
Themoonisdown

Add Comments


Monday Funnies – A dash of Oregano

Dear Micheal Aragano (AKA Oregano)-

Sometimes I feel really bad for you in this whole third wheel KStew/Rob  scenario. I totally loved you in both Almost Famous and on Will & Grace, you’re such a great young actor. But as much as I feel bad for your sometimes the below comic made me laugh my face off!

Happy Monday Everyone!
Themoonisdown

Clicky for maximum LOL's

Clicky for maximum LOL's

Add Comments


To Michael Oregano:

michael-arangano

cute little italian spice

Dear Michael Arangano,

Hey. I know I haven’t been the nicest to you in the past, so I’m writing to apologize. Plus you’re kinda cute in this picture, and that’s the first time I’ve thought that. So good job.

Anyway, I’ve been feeling kinda bad for you with all the tweens of the world hoping for a KStew + RPattz hook-up and all. That’s really gotta suck, especially when you’re competing with this guy. 

edward

this guy is hotter than you, just sayin'

So, I wanna let you know I’m on your side. I’m really, really hoping you and Kristen pull through all the drama and the (at least) two more Twilight-saga  movies she’s gotta do and stay in love ‘n stuff. And I’m not just saying that b/c I’m selfish and want her to keep her grimey little hands off of Rob.  Well, I’m 90% saying that b/c I don’t want her touching Rob, but 10% of me just doesn’t want to see true love fail, ya know?

I know what you’re asking. Why now, UnintendedChoice? Why all the love when all this time you’ve made fun of me for how I look, for the fact that I was in Seabiscuit and called me Michael Oregano? It’s a fair question because I didn’t think this day would come, but I kind of got a glimpse of how you feel on a daily basis with all this Kris/Rob shizzat when I saw this picture last night: 

robert_pattinson_and_kristen_stewart_in_bed

they were just playing 'sleep-over' no, she was helping him wax his chest, no, they were in alaska in the wilderness and he took off her shirt to save her life...

Those are some CRAZY fans with CRAZY photoshopping skillz. (Source) and I’ll be honest, for a split second I thought it was real (and his hair is SHORT, so you know it was recent) until I realized Perez posted that pic of his face last week.

So, I feel awful for you (and for me- how do you think I feel seeing Rob in bed with a ho beautiful young woman?) and wanted to let you know I’m on Team Michael Oregano (it’s a cute name, I’m not stopping, take what you can get) Oh- and yesterday I randomly came across Robert/Kristen fan fiction (yep, not Edward/Bella fan fiction, but a love story about ROBERT AND KRISTEN) No, I will not post the link because it’s too 2nd hand embarassing (well, it’s 90% b/c it’s 2nd hand embarassing and 10% because I’m embarassed that I read all 9 chapters at work.)

Also, I wanted to let you know that apparently Kristen is preggers, although I think it’s probably Michael Welch’s baby. You know he and Kristen were playing “Bella decides to stay human and has a boring life with Mike Newton” in her trailer.

please inform your gf that her hand looks like a man's hand

please inform your gf that her hand looks like a man's hand

K bye,
UnintendedChoice

39 Commented


Next Entries

Creative Commons License


This work is licensed under a Creative Commons
Attribution-No Derivative Works 3.0
United States License
.

LTT Privacy Policy



Sponsored by