The worst part about the end of the Holidays (and a Monday Funny)

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Dear Twilight,

Mr. Choice is a better Twilight blogger than me (click this)

Do you know what the worst part about the end of the holidays is? No longer having an excuse to not be productive. (Coming in at a close second is: Sobering Up after 3 weeks of being constantly tispy; The cookies are all stale; Accepting the fact that eating 8 cookies at day for 3 weeks made you fat; Having to stand in long lines to return the horrific gifts you were given; The month old Christmas Tree causes bleeding when you attempt to drag it down 4 sets of stairs to the trash; Having to clean & reorganize your closet now that you have extra things to put in them; You feel really guilty about throwing out your friends & families cute (and over priced) cards/pictures of their kids)

And boy did I EVER enjoy that excuse this holiday! Don’t get me wrong, I was SUPER productive- I have to be with a job that depends on me [gotta sell those hot tubs y'all!] plus a part time job that has quickly taken up more and more of my time & attention. But if something didn’t have to get done this past month, like I’d still get paid (or not paid) if it didn’t happen, or no one would die or get sick or be sad or kill me, then I didn’t do it. I embraced the “It’s the Holidays” excuse BIG TIME and just STOPPED doing things that needed to get done.

Yes, Twilight, that includes you. I don’t even remember tweeting “Merry Christmas” “Happy Hanukkah” or “Happy New Years” this year. Even Mr. CHOICE tweeted you all a Happy New Years message! And I’d like to tell you that today, on January 1, 2012, as I’m writing this, things are going to be different. I’m starting 2012 off RIGHT and with a BANG with some new/amazing/awesome/EPIC* news or blog post, but I’m not. I barely even have an excuse because despite finishing off a bottle of wine plus 1/2 bottle of champagne last night, I feel fine today. I was even up for brunch at 9am. And while I technically could say “It’s the Holidays” because it is January 1st, and all, and I don’t have off tomorrow like the rest of the world, the reality is I’m just being lazy & want to get in my PJs early & watch a movie/TV/peruse blogs that didn’t use the “holiday” excuse/pin things on pinterest/eat more cookies/play with my cats/fall asleep <—- any of those excuses work.

I will leave you, however, with a small Monday Funny that was sent to us by LTT reader, Lindsay, who came across this news item that included a picture of a girl who can only be Kristen Stewart’s inbred cousin:

kristen Stewart inbred cousin

Although attacking a man with a bowl of spaghetti totally sounds like something that could have happened between Kristen & Rob or any one of the Britpack guys, really, during a drunken New Years Eve.

Happy New Year. I promise to be a good blogger soon (as soon as I don’t think of another excuse)

xo,
UnintendedChoice

*crap… I totally promised myself I wasn’t saying EPIC in 2012. Already failed. UGH

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I will NOT feel guilty

Dear Twilight,

It’s not too early to start talking about our New Year’s resolutions, is it? Good, cause I’m about to talk about one (and use it as my excuse for why today’s letter is so short)

I’ve decided in 2012 I will stop apologizing for not always being able to be (or wanting to be) wonder woman and for allowing myself to slack on things occasionally. And by “slacking” I mean: tonight I paid my bills, online Christmas shopped, responded to emails, wrote two 2012 marketing proposals, planned for a mid-week meeting, made a Christmas tree out of an old book, cleaned up after dinner (which I MADE), and reorganized my hall closet. The only thing I wasn’t able to do was come up with something creative for LTT today. And between you & me, I have time- it’s only 10:30. There’s plenty of time before I have to be in bed. But all I really want to do is catch up on Gossip Girl because I missed it last week. So I’m not even going to apologize.

I will leave you with a few things that I found in my e-mail inbox, though, as I was responding to messages. We can call it Monday Funnies, if it makes you feel better. It doesn’t make me feel better. I’m indifferent. Not apologizing, remember?

Christine sent me this which is the first image of many which I’m SURE Robsten’s have already created, and if not, I think I might start a tumblr account to mark up images like this because it seems like a good time:

Also, Nikki Reed does know that wearing a snowcap on a warm day in California only draws MORE attention to her, right?

Then @DLivesInNJ sent us this hilarity on Twitter:

The “Taylor looks like an Alpaca” jokes will NEVER not be funny. Did I tell you we get Alpaca e-mails now? From ACTUAL Alpaca farms? I have no idea why, but I’m guessing some of YOU signed us up as a joke!

And lastly, Best Week Ever pointed something out about Taylor last week that we cannot ignore:

Queerty brings us this GIF taken from an interview Taylor gave during an Abduction junket, one in which he was discussing Audrey Hepburn. (I’m just saying! Relax.)

Taylor's Sassy Gay Hand

Yep. They’re calling that Taylor’s Sassy Gay Hand <— Read the whole hilarious thing there.

Anyway, that’s all I have today. This is me, signing off, not feeling guilty at all for today’s post, beginning our 4th year of blogging, sucking B-I-G-T-I-M-E.

<3,
UnintendedChoice

Of course you know I feel sooooo terribly guilty, right?  2012 is going to be a HARD year if I really try to make that my resolution! Anyway.. got any real Monday Funnies to share?

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTR, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

30 Commented


Monday Funnies: A Twilight Engagement

Dear Couple who got engaged at a screening of Eclipse,

Thanks for totally stealing my idea. This is always how I imagined it: my boyfriend in shorts and Airwalks, me in a Team Edward shirt and sweatpants. Him dropping to one knee in front of the concessions girls from the local AMC to declare his undying ETERNAL love for me. Then reciting something like this…

Moon (yes, he would call me by my blogging name, of course). My life was like a starless night until I met you (and he would quote Twilight of course) would you be the Bella to my Edward and forgo all Jacobs.

And then he would pull out a replica Bella’s engagement ring. I would feast my eyes on it’s epicness and of course say yes. Then after some “fade to black” he would turn me into a vampire cause that was part of the deal. Oh wait, I didn’t tell you he was a vampire? Obviously!

Or maybe it would just happen like this…

And then when she saw the replica Bella’s engagement ring inside that box she threw that shiz back at him and said ‘I may be a fan but my finger better be covered in Tiffany, not Hot Topic if you’re going to propose to me at a Twilight movie.’ DUH!

You KNOW this dude felt like a tool once he saw how Edward proposed to Bella and this chick suddenly rethought the whole thing. I mean, how can you even compete with a vampire like Edward Cullen? He has the hair, the Alice approved outfits, the gold brocade bedding, a wrought iron bed of awesomeness, and lines like “stolen kisses after I ask your father for your hand in marriage.” For realz dude, I’m sorry you even tried to compete with the likes of Edward Cullen on a 50 foot screen. But obviously you get points for even doing this and a big mazel to you and your lady. But next time bring your A game and rent an Edward Cullen costume if you want to get legit about his.

Mazel Tov kids!
Themoonisdown

What would you do if your boyfriend proposed to you before a Twilight movie? Whats the best and worst proposal idea? What did you think of Edward’s proposal in Eclipse?

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTR, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

102 Commented


Return to Monday Funnies: Bella & The Beast and some teen boy humor

Dear LTT-ers,

Since it’s most folks first Monday back from the Holidays I thought we could all use a good laugh and since there’s pretty much nothing new in the Twilight world let’s have a few laughs shall we…


Bella and the Beast – Someone mashed up Beauty and the Beast and Twilight and it pretty much kills. Too bad they didn’t make Mrs. Potts as Alice.


Way to jump on the Twi train a bit late but still… Guermo from Jimmy Kimmel Live talk show takes a turn as everyone’s favorite Vampire.
c


This totally appealed to the 13yr old boy inside me. YOUR MOM!
c

Follow the jump for more laughs
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Taylor Lautner on SNL… what shall we say…

Wait, I think I see a funny skit over there...

Dear Taylor,

Now you know I love ya something fierce (most days) and think of you and Taylor Swift as my own personal Disney Prince and Princess but when the nicest thing I can say about SNL is that you really can rock a wig… that’s probably not good. Now, before I get more than my daily share of hate mail I gotta say there were a couple shining moments in your episode of SNL…

  • Your opening monologue! Showing the VMA clip where you just stood there doing nothing while Kanye trampled all over your sweeties moment was all kinds of hilarious

[vodpod id=Groupvideo.4202356&w=425&h=350&fv=]
round house kick…

  • Those pre-roll photos they show of the host before the skit. Those were HOT sauce and should be added to some museum for creepy women older than you to enjoy

Oh hey hey heeeeey!

  • The wigs. How is it that you can pull off a blond wig, a floppy McDonalds arches mid 90s wig, an emo wig and a freaking crimped and braided teenage girl wig? Does it worry you any that compared to most other teenage boys you look pretty natural in  long girly hair? And most importantly does it worry you that a TV show has access to better wigs than a movie with a multi-million dollar budget has?

Nice rack!

See what else was win, what sucked and what certain red head country star made a cameo after the cut
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