Waiting in line for New Moon premiere? Get your helpful tips here!

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4 days of hell start here

Dear LTTers,

Yesterday morning we were told a super big secret that 13 people were already in line for the New Moon premiere. Then the news leaked on Twitter and suddenly it wasn’t a secret anymore. Did you just panic because you have plans tonight and didn’t set aside time to glue your eyes to your laptop while you watch a live stream of the red carpet? Don’t worry you still have a few days. Yes, that’s right, because the premiere isn’t tonight, but it’s Monday night. Yep. Those who got in line yesterday are there 4 days in advance. Those who will get in line today will be there 3 days early. Tomorrow… 2 days. Sunday 1 day… etc.

It turns out that the first group of people are line are the gals from Twifans.com and Cullenboysanonymous.com. Okay, they both run Twilight fansites, I get why they want to be up close and personal on the red carpet. They want to get first-hand accounts and interviews and videos for their readers. That’s really nice. I can hear your questions now, “UC- aren’t you changing your flight and flying out tonight instead of waiting until Sunday so that you and Moon can get in line and be sure to get us an exclusive interview with Solomon Trimble (who I bet is the 3rd person in line behind Twifans & CBA) and catch the action when Cathy Hardi tries to sneak past security and onto the red carpet?” Uh, no. We’re not going to be doing that. We love you and all, and while a one-on-one with Solomon would be great and we could potential make our dream come true if we see HIM on the red carpet (our dream being a UC & Moon sandwich with Big Daddy Lautner in the middle), we value sleep in a comfy bed and protection from crazy Twihards & tweens more than spending 4 days in the hot sun then cold nights on a deflating air mattress while suffering from the Urinary Tract Infection (UTI) that we’d get because we’d have to hold our pee for four days all the while one person stays awake to protect us from the non-rob hobos that roam the streets of Westwood, CA.

Tent

Cardboard cut out of Jacob. Check. Cranberry Juice. Check

So while we’re not going to be there many people are. I’d venture to say that by tonight, there will be a good 100-200 people in line. 45 of them will be Solomon Trimble’s closest friends and family, but they still count. And since the 4 day waiters (Hey Kim & Allison!) probably got bored 5 minutes after their tent was set up and their coffee was gone (regretting that Venti cafe latte now, huh?), I’ve compiled a list entitled “Things to do while we wait for a opportunity to see Kristen Stewart’s bare breasts in a new sexy dress and cross our fingers that Rob may or may not look our way for 2.5 milliseconds 4 days from now on the New Moon premiere red carpet” to help ease the boredom a bit:

  • Play the FanFiction game: Someone reads out loud from a famous fic like The Office or Wide Awake and you take turns acting out scenes with cardboard Edward. Since there is a New Moon Cardboard Ed & a Twi version, it’ll be like he changed clothes (unlike you who is stuck in the same thing for four days).
  • Transcribe New Moon by hand into a leather-bound notebook as a gift to Rob since it’s his favorite book. Get Solomon to sign it.
  • Knit something for Rob in hopes that it will be better than anything Kristen has knit for him
  • Comb the dictionary for every word you believe could be used to describe Rob
  • Paint your nails so that each finger has a detailed picture of a cast member- Edward-Bella-Jacob-Alice-Charlie-The Wolves- The Cullens-the Humans-The Volturi- The bad Vamps- 10!
  • Reorganize your entire Itunes library into Rob or New Moon appropriate categories. “Songs that make me think of Rob.” “Songs that make me hate Kristen.” “Songs that make me wish Solomon Trimble was in the 2nd movie” OR “Songs that make me wish Solmon Trimble would move ahead of me in line and hit on the girl over there.” You could also change all the genres around. Examples: Instead of “Rock” it could be “Songs I wanna eff Rob to.” Instead of “Indie ballads” it could be “Songs I played the day I finally believed that Rob was actually dating Kristen.” Instead of “Garage band music” it could be “Bands that are horrible but still better than 100 monkeys”

After the jump, check out what people on Twitter said THEY would add to the list! Continue…

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Your really important Twilight news

Dear LTTers,

It has come to our attention that many of you come to us for your Twilight news. I understand. We are a valuable news source for up-to-date twilight news & offer a breath of first-hand knowledge (just see letters: The music Stephenie Meyer REALLY listened to while writing Twilight and Jackson got hurt, did he try the leg hitch?

No seriously? Some of you come to US for news? Guys… I have to confess… we leave a lot out.  In order to bring you a brilliant letter each day, we just have to leave it at that- ONE brilliant letter.  So we miss a lot of really important stuff. In fact, sometimes we’re so focused on breaking down insignificant details of unimportant photo shoots, and naming background characters who tag along with the famous people that we ourselves don’t even know what’s going on in the Twi-world. I feel like that this week. Or the past few weeks. So today I’m going to do a run-down of the latest Twi news. Don’t want you missing anything really important!

  • eclipselogoSummit promises to “treat” us with “title treatment” (wtf?) when @twilight receives 200,000 followers on twitter. However, since everyone knows that no one who starts a twitter a month before their SECOND movie releases is to be considered a valuable source for news, they can’t get to 200,000 followers. And someone gets mad. So they release the Eclipse logo. And underwhelm us all. BONUS TIDBIT OF NEWS: Today they just got their 132,763rd follower. They promise to give us something special again IF they reach 200,000. We’re guessing it’s David Slade’s actual height.
  • Harper’s Bazaar tweet-hints that they will soon announce who is on their cover for December. They forget who we are. And that we’re not stupid. And as a result they are punished. And the photo shoot leaks. And we laugh. After we stop crying that we’re not Kristen in this photo-shoot and make a mental note to start saving our Hefty trash bags for a little fashion statement of our own.
  • Toys R’ Us, yes you heard me right, opened a “New Moon Boutique” further solidifying the fact that we can’t believe we’re involved with this fandom. What do I have in common with 7 year olds who know who Geoffrey the Giraffe is? Besides the fact that I also know who Geoffrey the Giraffe is? My only question is if they’re going to be carrying any Twilight-related “toys” ifyouknowwhati’msayin’
  • Speaking of “toys” and in not-really-Twilight-related-news, but still-Twilight-related, this particular (not work-friendly) toy has been out for awhile now. We’ve been waiting to talk about it until we could review it. I got it about 3 weeks ago, tried it out and sent it to Moon who also tried it out. We just got one, ya know, to save money. We’re going to each keep it for a week and then pass it on. It’ll kinda be like the Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants except it’s The Sisterhood of the Traveling Sparkling Dildo.* The real news is, though, the reviews of the product. Here are our favs:

    OMG! I attatch mine to a wheel chair and pretend Billy Black is effing from behind, then I get another one and attatch a moustache to it and pretend it’s Charlie Swan..he loves it!

    This is highly logical. I ordered four, let’s hope they all fit under my snuggie. Continue…

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Losing our Twilight (movie) virginity

Remember seeing this everywhere? (With the old release date!)

Remember seeing this everywhere? (With the old release date!)

Dear Twilight,

There’s nothing like your first time. The nerves, the jitters, the excitement, that nauseous feeling in the pit of your stomach. And then it’s over and suddenly you know what everyone has been talking about. You are no longer a virgin. A Twilight Movie virgin, that is! What did you think I was talking about?

We’ve talked about our first everything’s on here… first time reading the books, first time seeing the NM trailer, first time seeing each other in years, there’s a first time for everything BUT we’ve never talked about the first time we saw the movie in the theater. And it just so happens the other day UC and I were having a conversation about just this subject and here’s what we had to say…

UC: In August after I finished the books I found out it was going to be made into a movie and i was PISSED that it was being made into a movie b/c i knew it would suck. I saw ‘that girl from that movie with adam brody’ and then Cedric as Edward and was like “what the?” i will NOT watch this.” but duh.. time went on
Moon: Hmmm Adam Brody… how about when you went and saw it?
UC: I found 4 random people to see the movie with and then had drinks at pf changs after and stayed quiet while they talked about how Edward was NOT cute enough and how cheesy it was and i just had this FEELING
Moon: (like the black eyed peas?)
UC: (yup, like that)

Follow the cut to read the rest of our first time
Continue…

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Tuesday Twilosophy: My confession

twilosophygreenDear Twilosophy 101 Classmates,

Sometimes we like to put aside the funny & have real talk about the deep, meaningful issues of Twilight- because there are so many. Twilight is serious. Just like Tweed. So Twilosophy must be taken seriously. In fact I made an image to accurately reflect the seriousness of Twilosophy.

Moving on, I was recently chatting with The Quad:

EastFriend: You know what I think, “Don’t have sex till you’re married, kids!” But… I wanted Edward and Bella to do it. I was literally breathless during those parts of the book…dying…

And then I threw my copy of Eclipse across the beach when she kissed Jacob. And admitted to Edward that she loved Jacob–”but I know whom I love more.” I kid you not, like a 3 year old having a tantrum, I flung that book across the sand, in disgust…going, “STUPID BEOTCH!” I then sat there for a good minute before picking it up and beginning to read again. Love me through it. (And yes, that copy of Eclipse–I have 3–still has sand in it. No lie.)

UC:  I wanted her to get it on with Jacob for a quick second.

WestFriend: UC……I could kick you for that remark.
I am with EastFriend…I literally threw my book across the floor too. I did. I yelled in agony too. I said, “Oh no she did NOT!” and then told my family I wasn’t crazy. And then kept reading.

EastFriend: Ewwwww. You did not! I  mean, yeah he’s cute and warm and cuddly and semi-sexy. But not for one minute did I want her to even put her lips near his. Nope. Not at all.

UC: I didn’t want it. until he DID it. until he kissed her. Then i wanted it. Then i was mad. And felt ashamed. Just like Bella. I AM Bella, clearly. Minus the bad cover-up mullet-wig.

I’ll confess, and this is hard for me knowing the ridicule and scorn I’ll receive from my beloved readers (it’ll be like any time KStew makes a fashion decision without the help of a stylist or how TammyO is treated in her real life that causes her to be so cruel on LTT), but I wanted Bella to kiss Jacob back!

My kind of shirt

My kind of shirt

I did. I wanted the kiss to happen. I wanted it to be hot. I wanted there to be tongue. I wanted there to be grinding up against each other (Clearly I needed to get laid that day) And I wasn’t disappointed. Until I remembered Edward. And how I had been thinking about how I wanted HIM to grind up against me Bella a chapter earlier. And I felt torn. And confused. And unsure of what to do. So I re-read the kiss part and tried to ignore those feelings for a few more seconds.

I’m not alone right!? There are other Team Edward members who think it would be fun to dabble in a little Team Jacob action from time to time, right? RIGHT!?I mean, I know Bella agrees. She liked that kiss- she CRIED over that kiss. And she’s the biggest Team Edward fan around!

Well, I did a little asking around in hopes that I would find an underground community of avid Team Edward members who occasionally had a little daytime fantasy about Jacob: Continue…

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Stuff we like other than Twilight: Paper Route

selfportrait

why yes this self-portrait is in my bathroom at work...

Dear LTTers,

So Moon & I talk about this all the time, but that one day, back in December ’08 when we randomly decided to turn our instant messaging conversations into a blog? Yeah, we had no idea that we’d end up where we are (almost) TEN months later! Ya know- we’ve “made it.” I mean, a PR person from Toys R’ Us contacted us the other day, y’all. What else can you want from life? I can now die happy.

Every day Moon & I attempt to make you laugh or make you think Twilosophically and for some reason thousands of you read us and email us and follow us on twitter and make US laugh. But.. you don’t really know us. And that’s a shame. A CRYING shame. (And also it’s really good for us. Because I’m pretty sure you’d be so underwhelmed by our “normal-ness” that you’d stop reading LTT/LTR altogether. And we don’t want that.) A dear LTT/LTR friend turned real-life friend, Brookelockart, was kind enough to to force out this sentence when I talked to her about the difference between cyber-UC and real-life UC:

I’ve heard you say funny things… once or twice…

Thanks Brookie. Anyway, we like to share with you, from time to time, stuff we like other than Twilight so that we can prove to you we know how to live our mantra of “That’s Normal” and so you get to know us better. Since we’re awesome n’ stuff. (See our first post about this here, so you don’t miss learning about UC & Moon)

At press time (aka 1:42 am this morning when I’m 4 drinks in) Moon has not told me what she likes, so today just stars me, which is another thing to add to the list of things I like- stuff about me. Without further ado, UC likes:

  • Music: but good music. You might call me a music snob. And I’m fine with that!
  • California: I declared when I was 13 that I’m moving there. I’m still working on that, but it will happen.
  • The Internet: I’m kinda obsessed with the internet. I blog personally (actually I apologize to my personal blog profusely since I don’t have time to blog there anymore!), I download and use EVERYTHING google and I love geeky new things that pop up online.
  • Wearing big things in my hair- Flowers. Check. Feathers. Check. Bows. Check.
  • Self-portraits. I’m the queen of self-portraits. I take them anywhere and everywhere. Usually I make a silly face. Sometimes I attempt to look sexy which people assume is my silly face. Sexy UC= Fail.:

So in the spirit of telling you about Moon & UC and sharing “Stuff we like other than Twilight,” I bring you something not exactly Twilight-related but also kinda still Twilight-related since, obviously, we do run a Twilight blog.

Paper Route is a band I LOVE! They are my husband’s college friends and have recently gotten a ton of really good press & I’m so happy because they deserve it. (PS they’re currently touring with Paramore which is not exactly Twilight-related but kinda is since they were on the soundtrack and we bow to Queen Hayley for partaking in one of our most favoritest interviews of Rob ever)

I happened across this New Moon trailer, which we’ve all seen, set to two amazing Paper Route songs:

Love them? They’re amazing, seriously. You can stream their whole album on Imeem. Clicky below for good times music finds!

paperroute

Thus concludes today’s lesson on learning more about UC & stuff she likes.

Love,
UnintendedChoice

Wanna question why in the world someone would take pictures in the bathroom at work? Do it on The Forum
then head on over to LTR

and don’t forget about entering the “‘Imma Enter a Twilight Contest’ Contest

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