A healthy debate: Kristen Stewart's Acting

Throughout this letter I’m going to use something called sarcasm. Unfamiliar? Read this. Many people hate Kristen Stewart because they are sadface that she is (apparently) with Robert Pattinson. I am one of them. I cannot judge Kristen Stewart fairly without thinking of her with Robert Pattinson. She does a commercial for cat litter and surrounds herself with 18 little white kittens? I hate it because all I can think about is how she gets to do Rob Pattinson after she gets to play with all those adorable kittens. In Adventureland she does a sex scene with a douche-bag married to a Woody Allen darling? She is an automatic awful fake movie sexer because she’s having the real sex with Rob Pattinson. Remember, Read this if you have any questions.

Dear Twilosophy Debate Class 101,

Today we’re going to have a healthy debate. Any questions?

Why are you opening THIS can of worms when we have had peace on LTT for awhile and Robsteners/Nonsteners/Swiftners/Non-Swiftnerers (Wait a second- WHO could be a Non-Swiftnerer? Seriously? Have you seen these two? So freakin’ adorable) have been getting along?

Well, I’ve been thinking a lot about this topic and when I think of stuff I like to share it with the LTT community. Also KStew411 tweeted this amazing video and I really needed a reason to post it

The beginning

Kristen and I had a rocky beginning. First of all she kissed Adam Brody in In the Land of Women, and that’s when I knew I would hate her for eternity. Plus that movie sucked and that pains me to say because I heart Adam Brody something fierce. I remember being very underwhelmed by all the performances in that movie, not just Kristen’s.  I’ll have to break it out again to decide for sure what I think of her specifically, but I’d rather die than do that. So let’s just leave it at that.

KristenAdamBrody

Bitch! Seriously, I'll facepunch you so hard....

And then came Twilight. I walked away consumed with the desire to FACE PUNCH her except I didn’t know it was that desire since FACE PUNCH doesn’t get referenced until New Moon. “SHE gets to DO Rob Pattinson!?” I thought. (Except I didn’t think that since I didn’t think they were DOING it then since I was underwhelmed by their on-screen chemistry and knew nothing of the off screen rumors.) I was confused. I thought her casting was SPOT ON for the character of Bella. But her portrayal of Bella….? Well, it took me awhile to put it into words, but let’s just leave it at- I wasn’t so crazy about it. (Refer to the above video for many of the reasons why)

New Moon

I feared a Twilight repeat. I did. So much of that movie hinged on Kristen’s ability to make us believe in her pain. I came away from that midnight showing really happy with what I saw! I believed her! I felt her loss. I even shed a tear or two even though I knew that Edward would eventually come back and then they’d have some awesome make-out scenes complete with an EPIC Leg Hitch (Don’t do it and DIE, David Slade) and would eventually skinny-dip in the ocean after which they’d do it in probably the most talked about fade-to-black scene ever written, finally resulting in the birth of a half-human, half-vampire genius-child who would be imprinted upon by a werewolf. I cried even though I knew that would happen. (Actually, that’s probably why I cried. Couldn’t he just STAY and give her amazing birthday sex?) Also I didn’t cry until Lykke Li’s “Possibility” came on because I feel emotions through music. Plus, Kristen had my FAVORITE line in all of New Moon. Listen for it here in this clip, courtesy of Brookelockart’s pirated copy of the movie:

Click for awesomeness

So… why the sudden change of heart towards Kristen? Were my expectations SO low for the movie that surpassing them wasn’t that hard to do (That’s actually possible) Did she REALLY step it up a notch this movie? Was Chris Weitz a better director for her? Clearly I just forgot that she was banging Rob with his absence. Instead I thought about flowers, kittens and Swiftner. Or maybe Stewner- yes… that’s right! While watching the movie I invented, in my mind, a real relationship between Kristen & Taylor. She makes him homemade protein shakes while he improves his pectoral muscles. It’s a beautiful relationship. And an obvious one. How else would she know that Taylor carries around little baggies of meat patties? You know, I bet Kristen even bags Tay’s meat patties for him in NAME-BRAND baggies. She loves him that much. Best of all Rob is single & Taylor Swift writes an amazing break-up song that brings me to tears until the end when a wolf is mauled to death by a bear (because afterall, Kristen let us in on a little secret- “They’re Not Bears“) Continue…

269 Commented


Become friends with UC & Moon: See Rob. And other stuff…

Oh hai there 8 pack, only 63 days until your birthday too. Take that Chris Hansen!)

Yep- you’re seeing this right. This is our second post of the day AGAIN! (See the first here) We asked a few of our readers turned real-life friends to talk about what LTT/LTR means to them. Today is Chelsea’s turn!

Dear Bunny & Noreen (aka I won’t give away your real names),

Congratulations on making it to the one year mark! A Happy Birthday of sorts.

I wish I could say that I was one of your OG’s (Old Girls, the ones who have been a part of it since the start) but as things are, I joined on pretty close to the start. I don’t know when or how I came across your lovely blog, but I know it was pretty early on. I used to do some stuff for Will over at NewMoonMovie, and I remember seeing you mentioned on his site, I also think I stumbled upon you one day with StumbleUpon, (or ADD for the interwebs as I like to call it.) But I digress.

Bet I can make that Kitty Meow

The important thing is, I found you. Angles sang. The clouds parted and the snark began to flow. Suddenly, LTT and LTR became a part of my everyday routine. I had to check it each day to see what new pearl of sarcasm had been dropped. Finally! People who thought about the same weird things in the books! Who also found the same things ridonkulously cheesy in the film as I did!

And the Friendship begins!

Thanks to Bunny and Noreen, I’ve made a ton of new friends too. And not just the invisible kind! The first time I met up with anyone from LTT/LTR was at a Sam Bradley show up in LA. It was myself, my friend Lauren, Vicky, Aja, and Noreen herself. Zomg I was so excited to meet ½ of the awesomeness behind LTT & LTR! (Cause you two are totes Awesome) Sam was fun, we laughed at all of the girls there *cough Goth Maria VonTrapp cough*, spotted Decoy Rob, and I asked Sam Bradley out and totes scared him away.  (Moon’s story from that night)

From then on things just got worse. I went to ComicCon with Moon and the other girls in July. I may have bitten her when Rob walked on stage because I was so excited.

LA LAdies at Midnight

I laughed so hard putting those little red ribbons on everyone!

Through Moon I met Ashley, who is totes my BFF now. I also got to be a part of the fabulous #LALadies gathering this November for the New Moon Premiere. (Insert pic of us at theater in front of the eclipse poster, cause I don’t have that one either) These women, whom I knew only from Twitter and the Forum, are now my friends. People I count on and look forward to talking to, even if it is just a quick “Hi!” on twitter. Carter, Lili, Val, Kristy, Jess, Jena, Phyllis, Jen, Darja, Moon, UC, Cynthia, Emily, and anyone I may have left out! You are all my friends, whether you like it or not!

Letters to Twilight and Letters to Rob have become a pretty big part of my life, not just the blog, but everything and everyone that surrounds it. I see these girls almost every weekend now. We have sleepovers. We do stuff that isn’t Twi-related at all…but not often. We made friends with the paparazzi who may or may not tell us where Rob is staying so we can casually have brunch at his hotel in hopes of running into him.

So yeah, Bunny & Noreen, UC & Moon, thank you for all that you do in the name of Letters to Twilight. Here’s to making the next year even better!

Let’s Do This!

Chelsea

Follow Chelsea on Twitter!

Thanks, Chels! We love you and are so glad our crazy little blog brought you into our life! And I (UC) am so glad I finally got to hug you in person this past November! I still think those other shoes looked better with that dress though.. :) jk jk jk XO

Don’t forget this is our 2nd-post of the day! I know, we’re crazytimes this week. Read the first one below (or here if you like to click) Don’t miss it. There’s a Giveaway (yes, another!) Let’s say it together: “They’re NOT Bears!”

Add Comments


New Moon in 15 minutes

One of my fav things about the craziness of Twilight’s release last year was all the amazing spoofs written and recorded afterwards. Moon brought you the brilliant LOLCats version of New Moon yesterday, so today I bring you my favorite parts of New Moon in 15 Minutes by Cleolinda! Make sure to check out the entire post and enjoy your Sunday laugh! XO- UC

Some English Class

BELLA: ilu bb
EDWARD
: So while we’re on the subject of Romeo and Juliet where everyone can hear us, I’ve been contemplating suicide lately. You know, some ironic but thematically appropriate means involving characters you’re just now hearing about for the first time, should the plot necessitate it. I’m thinking… death by sparkle at high noon.
BELLA
: I SAID, ILU BB
SOME ENGLISH TEACHER
: Mr. Cullen! Please recite a thematically appropriate passage for us, so that the fangirls in the audience can record it on their phones and play it on repeat every night before they go to sleep.
EDWARD
: *sigh*
SOME ENGLISH TEACHER
: A bit louder, Mr. Cullen! Some of them will want to use it as a ringtone.

The Rainforest in Bella’s Backyard

EDWARD: So we’re all leaving town and I don’t want you to come.
BELLA
: Edward, you haven’t wanted me to come for six months now. This is not new.
EDWARD
: Bella, I am too dangerous for you. If I stay in these movies, there will constantly be some threat to you. I must leave you, because I love you.
BELLA
: WTF EDWARD NO
EDWARD
: Bella, let me mansplain this to you, since a frail helpless female would never understand what’s best for her: I am BAD FOR YOU and I have NO SOUL and I am not willing to take yours and sometimes I feel really funny when you kiss me and I think this is bad for my virginity and you are going to GET DEAD if we stay together. Just promise me to stay not-dead after I leave and we’ll call it even.
BELLA
: WTF NO NO NO YOU CAN’T NO
EDWARD
: Okay, LOOK. I am SICK OF YOU and your whining and your clinging and and your endless codependency and these SHITTY, SHITTY MOVIES, OKAY? I am SICK of this endless slo-mo and this magenta lipstick bullshit. I AM A GROWN MAN, NOT A POWDERED DONUT, AND THESE CONTACTS HURT, OKAY? I AM DONE WITH THIS.
BELLA
: EDWARD!
EDWARD: SPARKLE OUT.
BELLA
: EDWARD!!!
EDWARD
: *VAMPIRE HAND*
BELLA: …omg.

[Bella then curls up in the woods to die, too shell-shocked even to notice that Some Ripped Quileute Guy carries her home. She remains catatonic in her room while OCTOBER, NOVEMBER, and DECEMBER drift past her window.]

-Scenes of Bella Attempting to Move on With Her Life
-Scenes of Bella Setting a Good Example for Real-Life Teenage Girls
-Scenes of Bella Putting on Her Big Girl Panties and DEALING WITH IT

More Stuff Happens

[Remember when] Edward rode in on the Vampire Volvo of Great Justice to save [Bella?]. Volvo: The vehicle of choice for busting out hardcore rescue maneuvers, yet dependable enough for the everyday chauffeuring of one’s delicate human.

QUIL: [To Bella] Hey baby, you so pale and slim and clumsy, baby.
JACOB: HEY, DON’T YOU HAVE A TODDLER TO IMPRINT ON OR SOMETHING?

BELLA: Wow… you’re sorta beautiful.
JACOB: : )
BELLA: Now, if you were skinny, pasty, and a foot taller, we’d be in business.
JACOB: : (

Continue the major major Cullen Smiles & laughter, after the jump! Continue…

Add Comments


Best New Moon review EVER! LOL cats, 3 wolf moon, it has it all!

Dear LTT-ers,

Remember how we said we were going to stop beating a dead horse by reviewing the crap out of New Moon?! Well, JUST KIDDING! Actually this is a review done entirely in LOL cats so that alone means it’s the best review ever…

A Preview…

Just wait till they get to the Volturi cats! And the Wolfpack. DIED! Enjoy the rest of the New Moon review here at Microsuede

Enjoy your Saturday!
Themoonisdown

Love LOL cats? Hate LOL cats? Do you can has cheezburger?

Thanks Katelin for sharing and to Microsuede for making us LOL!

Our internet game is ridiculous: The Forum, LTR, Twitter

Add Comments


New Moon: The Hits and the Misses, Moon’s review part 2

*Missed part one? Read it here*

The wolf's outta the bag

Dear LTT-ers and anyone every having to do with New Moon,

Today we continue on with beating a dead horse aka our reviews of New Moon and this is my part two since I was so long winded the first time around. Wednesday, I started this review by posting what I call the hits and misses of the movie so let’s continue down that path…

c

Alrighty smile for the camera, say: "cheee-we'retotallyoblivious towhatsreallygoingoninthistown-eeese"

Hit
The Humans
Once again the humans are really the highlight of the film. Just like in Twilight they bring the funny and the sense of reality. They act like high school students, make stupid (read: awesome) jokes and generally remind us that not everyone is an undercover sensitive, brooding monster. If I had to give props to give one human though I think it would have to be Billy Burke as Charlie, famous ladies man. This time around we actually feel the bond between him and Bella which isn’t cut short with stutter-y phrasing or bad awkward moments. He plays the Dad figure well and you actually feel for him as he tries to comfort Bella. I also noticed in the dream sequence when Bella remembers the Werewolf/Vampire story the person laying on the forest floor is not her but is Charlie (at least I think!) if so, it just further illustrates that she really doesn’t want him to get hurt because of her crazy monster secret life. Awwwww… can’t wait till I see if again to really see if it was Charlie.

c

Dizzy, I'm so dizzy my head is spinning Like a whirlpool it never ends And it's You girl makin' it spin

Miss
Dizziness
UC talked about it and I will to, I’m sure it was used as some sort of visual tool to disorient us but I think it worked all TOO WELL. Everytime she trips and falls in the forest I think “here we go again” and get a good grip in my chair because we’re about to take a trip on New Moon the ride now at Universal Studios. Let me off! Let me off! Bellaaaaa, BellAH… Get me off this crazy thing… called love (anyone? anyone?!)

c

Excuse me, what did you just say?

Hit
Chemistry between Bella & Jacob
One of my favorite scenes between them is the “break up” scene after Jacob has turned and Bella, tired of getting the dismissal from Billy, goes to find out why he’s been missing. They emote, they stare into each other eyes, they tug at my heart strings, they make me cry. Taylor has probably the best set of puppy dog eyes ever and uses them to kill us every time. How can Bella be immune to THAT?! They really do portray two people who are great friends torn apart by great odds who try to overcome them. I think it’s probably why I lean so heavily in favor of Team Jacob in this movie. There’s really nothing like a true best friend.

Seriously let’s finish this thing up after the cut
Continue…

Add Comments


Previous Entries Next Entries

Creative Commons License


This work is licensed under a Creative Commons
Attribution-No Derivative Works 3.0
United States License
.

LTT Privacy Policy



Sponsored by