Open Letter and a Declaration of Independence to the Twilight Fandom

Dear Twilight Fandom,

Ok, this is it… we’ve read enough and we finally have something to say…UC and I have swapped enough emails and read enough blogs and tweets and tweetlongers making fun of the latest Robsten/Nonsten fight when we finally realized this: Why did we let the Robsten and Nonsten tom-foolery take us (the fandom) down? Why did we get caught up in that nonsense when there were movies and books and characters and friends to be made to take up our time and not wasted by playing a guessing game? And further more why did we let these people ruin a good thing? Remember the slo-mo running? Remember the lunacy of Buttcrack Santa? Remember how different the characters of Edward and Bella are compared to Rob and Kristen’s portrayal? Remember how we laughed and then loved the Pattinson Pants lady? Yea, we do too and we’re here to take it back! And we’re also here to ask some questions…

WHY does anyone still care? Why do some folks care enough about the relationship between two people they don’t know that they’ve made it their life mission to prove it’s validity one way or the other?  Why do they have to start tweet wars and blogs and live journals dedicated to rumors and bashing each other? What purpose does it serve to bash someone who doesn’t believe the same stuff you do? Robsten/Nonsten is like religion and politics, NO ONE wins in that discussion.

Do you own this shirt?

Furthermore can we talk about how both sides have said time and again they are getting tweet bombed by the opposition but when you do a search for their twitter handle no one is doing any sort of tweet bombing. Which leads me to ask WHO is doing this stuff? Are we not looking in the right places? Are we the only ones who aren’t seeing this stuff? Are some people just making it up or is Robsten/Nonsten really just a SMALL group of die hards that play on the fringes of the fandom yet have had deep and lasting effects within it?

Let’s be crystal clear, we’re not condoning any sort of bullying or crank calling or the emailing of bosses (deplorable, by the way. Simply gross.) or any sort of threats. But you also have to realize you run that risk when you’re on the internet. If you don’t want people to call your parents house or tweet mean things then get off the interwebs! Stop talking about topics that inflame crazy people enough to stalk you till they have information to “bring you down.”

We’ve talked a lot of (good natured) trash in our day and definitely receieved some hate mail and “you’re sad ugly bitches” comments but if ANYONE called my family or friends or threatened me, I was called out on lying or I was told to stop doing something by Summit/Little Brown/The Meyer you can bet your bottom dollar I would stop. Sure there’s such a thing as free speech but there’s also a little word I like to use called discernment. It’s knowing when to talk and when to shut the hale up.

Together or not, in the end it doesn't matter... but Bella and Edward on the other hand...

As for anything having to do with cast members or Rob and Kristen in particular we don’t even pretend to know what they’re thinking (unless of course it’s for the breaking down of a fake event ;)) and in the end why does it matter so much whether they are together or not or whatever it is in between. At the end of the day their real or fake relationship has and will never have any bearing on our lives. So stop hacking into their emails, spreading personal information, talking about other people in the fandom and let’s get back to ENJOYING this thing. Can all everyone agree on that? And can those of us who do not claim affiliation (or don’t care either way) with either side agree that we will no long put up with this nonsense?

Since today is Ash Wednesday I’ve decided I’m giving up the crazy and I’m taking back the fun. Good bye nonsense for the next 40 days!

(cue the Independence Day theme music)

Give me back my Twilight or give me dealth!
Themoonisdown

So is this stuff really happening? Are we missing things? Also be honest are there people out there who don’t know anything about what we’re talking about in this post? Is it really just a small faction or is it a large group?

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTR, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

 

262 Commented


You know you’re too obsessed

I love Robsten

Fun on Twi FB wall

This weekend I was bored (a good bored- a relaxing bored- a “drank a bottle of red wine myself bored”- a much needed bored, but I’m ready to no longer be bored bored, too) and spent a lot of time on Facebook. For about 23 hours I creeped out my friends by letting them see a picture of myself from the summer before 9th grade, where I resembled a guy whose house Chris Hansen might show up to. After successfully receiving many “OMG your picture is creeping me out” comments, I decided enough was enough and looked through all 1058 pictures I am tagged in to find a new Facebook Profile pic. One thing led to another and I ended up looking through pictures from late 2008- after I had just discovered Twilight- and then pics in 2009 from our first LA Twilight trip to celebrate New Moon’s release. And I settled on a picture where I’m showing off my XXXL Team Jacob shirt from this past summer. It was then I realized I might have a problem. I am obsessed with Twilight (And Facebook). But before I signed off I had a little fun on the Twilight Facebook’s wall. I caught up on some email & found an email from my long-lost real life friend, found again through LTT, about HER realization that she’s a little too obsessed with Twilight. And I felt better about myself (So I went back on Facebook… sigh….) Hope you enjoy!

Dear LTTers,

I have come to the conclusion of late that my obsession with all things Twilight might be a little over the top. Books have always been so much a part of my life that I often fantasize about fictional situations becoming reality (is there anyone who has read Harry Potter that doesn’t wish she could apperate every so often? Or wondered after finishing To Kill a Mockingbird if your dad secretly harbors an amazing talent like being an expert marksman/kick-butt attorney like Atticus Finch? Or wished that they could spend a dinner party with the entire cast of The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society? Or, my personal favorite, read Pride and Prejudice and not fallen in love with Mr. Darcy a little bit?). No series has managed to worm its way into my daily thought processes quite so much as this saga, however…and there are times I’m not even sure why that is.

So here you go, LTTers:

The Plane Friend’s Reasons Why I Might Be a Little Too Obsessed with Twilight:

  • I can quote whole sections of the novels verbatim. I almost never have to look up a quote or fact when commenting on LTT…or slyly inserting Twilight-related phrases into daily conversation and wondering if anyone else will notice. I’ve found that others notice Twilight-speak a lot less than when I’ve been reading Jane Austen and start phrasing my sentences in Regency period English.
  • I can’t even escape Twilight on vacation, though Plane Husband sometimes makes me try:

o       Plane Husband and I went to Gettysburg with some friends a few months ago. As we were driving into town, I saw a restaurant called La Bella Italia. I immediately pointed out that the Port Angeles restaurant where Edward and Bella had their first date was named the same thing. (Plane Husband rolled his eyes).

o      Also while in Gettysburg, we took a tour of a battle field. While the Ranger was explaining details of Pickett’s Charge, all I could imagine was Jacksper in his Civil War uniform.

o      In Guatemala for an anniversary trip, while we were exploring the ruins of Tikal, our Guatemalan guide pointed up into the trees to show us a few spider monkeys. I silently cursed Ms. Rosenberg (or whoever was responsible) for that freaking idiotic line that—of course—popped right into my head.

  • I ordered mushroom ravioli at a restaurant one night. And yeah, you can guess why.
  • When looking at the mountains of snow in backyard get hit by the only bit of sunshine we’ve had in weeks, I wondered if the way it sparkled is similar to how Edward & co. do.
  • The other day, I was scrubbing down my bathroom sink while my one-year-old clung to my leg, and I wished that Alice and her never-ending energy could come help me. I then got to wondering why, in New Moon, when Charlie is at Harry’s funeral and Bella decides to clean the house for him, Alice just watches her and chats instead of helping her. If I were Bella, I would have been annoyed by the lack of super-speed vampire help.
  • I had an incredibly involved dream in which I lied my way onto the Breaking Dawn set. (By telling them I was the new director? Dreams make no sense!) I got really mad when they were shooting a costumed Halloween party (see previous parenthetical), I got to approve the wedding dress—which was pretty in my dream, became good friends with KStew (?!) and Wyck Godfrey tried to make a pass at me (umm, he’s married, dream self. I didn’t, however, cheat on Plane Husband even in my weird Twilight dream).
  • I have a manuscript in the hands of a literary agent. As I’ve been waiting on pins and needles (for over two months now!) hoping that she’ll call and want to represent me, I have done a lot of daydreaming. And I’ve had the thought that if my wildest dreams came true, I became a published author, and some day someone interviewed me (it could happen, right?), I think I would—proudly–announce that if I could meet any living author, it would be Stephenie, because I have a million-and-a-half questions I’d love to ask her. To prove I’m somewhat normal, though, I mostly dream about seeing a book with my name on the cover…and being on the NY Times bestseller list.
  • And, the most embarrassing (or maybe normal?) admission. When Plane Husband was reading a previous post of mine on LTT, he asked me what the LEGHITCH was. Instead of explaining, I opened the passage in Eclipse so that he could read it…just in case he ever wants to try it out!

So, what do you think, LTT readers? Am I totally normal, or have I crossed the line and taken it a little too far? And what random things from your day remind you of the Twilight world?

Love,
The Plane Friend

93 Commented


That’s (Not) Normal

UC & Moon

Is this normal?

Dear Normal LTTers,

Writing down our LTT history part 1 the other day got me thinking about what I deemed the “LTT mantra” and the “LTT lifestyle” That’s Normal. And I started thinking…. but is it really? I mean, is any of this normal? I like to think that Moon & I have an excuse for blogging about vampires (almost!) every day- we have an audience now & the pressure (much loved!) to entertain. But…. is that really the only reason we do this day after day? I love you all, I really do, but I’m not sure that’s enough. I might have to admit that we still do this day in & day out because we love Twilight just as much as we did on December 8, 2008. Sure, the love has changed slightly, but it’s still there. And is that, well, normal?

Do you remember when my friend UrbanGirl went into a storage closet at work to read Breaking Dawn? And how about when I went with my friends Italian Girl, Tex, PregPants & UrbanGirl to see Twilight? They were FANATICS- but I’m pretty sure UrbanGirl saw only half of Eclipse on a plane ride and the others haven’t even watched it once. What happened? Are they the normal fans? Loved & obsessed over the books & first movie(s), but then the love faded? Or am I normal? Still going strong- 2 or 3+ years later?

I’m not sure. I know Moon still texts or calls me whenever something great/good/awesome/funny/NOT NORMAL happens in the fandom. We’re definitely the same level of normal or not normal-ness- whatever that is. And just the other week a bunch of the original LTTers ended up talking about Twi in an email chain- so even they still think about it occasionally. But Mr. Choice
seems to think that my continuing love for Twi is not normal. Then again, can he really judge? He never thought it was normal.

About 3 things I am absolutely positive. First, that joke never gets old. Second, there is a part of me, and I don’t know how dominant that part might be, that doesn’t care if anyone thinks I’m “Not Normal.” And third, I am unconditionally and irrevocably grateful for the “That’s Normal” Mantra & lifestyle.

But just in case you’re now questioning your normalness like I am, here’s quick check list to test where you’re at:

-It’s still totally normal to swoon whenever a new pic of Rob Pattinson surfaces

-It’s no longer normal to show up to a 100 monkeys concert just because you know you’ll be in the presence of tons of Twilight fans who “get you.” You should only risk your life at one of those if you’re an actual fan. (And let’s be honest, no one is one of those.)

-Liking Kristen is totally normal. It’s also quite normal to like Rob. And if it’s your cup of tea, you can EVEN like them gasp together! But spending your free time hating on those with different opinions? NOT NORMAL

-Having a day go by where you actually forget about Twilight: Normal
(This also applies when you forget you have a blog about Twilight)

-Looking at a new popsugar or Just Jared post & immediately emailing us that “THE MEDIA WROTE ABOUT BIG DADDY LAUTNER” before realizing that the post & corresponding pictures actually have Taylor Lautner in them: Quite Normal.

-Thinking that Ashley Greene has a chance at a legitimate career in non-fluff movies: Not normal

-Having a Twitter Profile that looks something like this is quite normal:

This is Moon’s profile (it’s also true)

-Publicly declaring THIS (and obviously never being told that tweets are PUBLIC and INDEXED by search engines & seen by OTHERS outside of your circle where saying stuff like that is considered normal)

NOT NORMAL

-Driving by an Olive Garden without immediately thinking of UC & Moon: Not Normal

-Thinking that Kellan actually likes it when you hump him at a Twicon after you pay your $156 bill to get 1 picture and the chance to grab his pecs: Not normal

-Laughing hysterically when you’re in the mall & hear the Taylor Swift song “Back to December” after the line “How’s your family” because you insert a quick “What I’m really saying is I miss your dad” as you sing along: Normal.

-Starting to line up for the Water for Elephants premiere next week: Not normal.

-Remembering a Twilight quote (like the one I used above) enough that you want to use it in a blog post (Normal) but not knowing it EXACTLY so you have to grab the book and/or google: also normal

So am I alone in wondering if I (minus you all and Moon!) am the only “normal” one left? And if I am alone, does that make me NOT normal? What else is normal or not normal these days!?

Yours in normalcy (or not),
UnintendedChoice

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTR, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

121 Commented


New Moon: The Hits and the Misses, Moon’s review part 2

*Missed part one? Read it here*

The wolf's outta the bag

Dear LTT-ers and anyone every having to do with New Moon,

Today we continue on with beating a dead horse aka our reviews of New Moon and this is my part two since I was so long winded the first time around. Wednesday, I started this review by posting what I call the hits and misses of the movie so let’s continue down that path…

c

Alrighty smile for the camera, say: "cheee-we'retotallyoblivious towhatsreallygoingoninthistown-eeese"

Hit
The Humans
Once again the humans are really the highlight of the film. Just like in Twilight they bring the funny and the sense of reality. They act like high school students, make stupid (read: awesome) jokes and generally remind us that not everyone is an undercover sensitive, brooding monster. If I had to give props to give one human though I think it would have to be Billy Burke as Charlie, famous ladies man. This time around we actually feel the bond between him and Bella which isn’t cut short with stutter-y phrasing or bad awkward moments. He plays the Dad figure well and you actually feel for him as he tries to comfort Bella. I also noticed in the dream sequence when Bella remembers the Werewolf/Vampire story the person laying on the forest floor is not her but is Charlie (at least I think!) if so, it just further illustrates that she really doesn’t want him to get hurt because of her crazy monster secret life. Awwwww… can’t wait till I see if again to really see if it was Charlie.

c

Dizzy, I'm so dizzy my head is spinning Like a whirlpool it never ends And it's You girl makin' it spin

Miss
Dizziness
UC talked about it and I will to, I’m sure it was used as some sort of visual tool to disorient us but I think it worked all TOO WELL. Everytime she trips and falls in the forest I think “here we go again” and get a good grip in my chair because we’re about to take a trip on New Moon the ride now at Universal Studios. Let me off! Let me off! Bellaaaaa, BellAH… Get me off this crazy thing… called love (anyone? anyone?!)

c

Excuse me, what did you just say?

Hit
Chemistry between Bella & Jacob
One of my favorite scenes between them is the “break up” scene after Jacob has turned and Bella, tired of getting the dismissal from Billy, goes to find out why he’s been missing. They emote, they stare into each other eyes, they tug at my heart strings, they make me cry. Taylor has probably the best set of puppy dog eyes ever and uses them to kill us every time. How can Bella be immune to THAT?! They really do portray two people who are great friends torn apart by great odds who try to overcome them. I think it’s probably why I lean so heavily in favor of Team Jacob in this movie. There’s really nothing like a true best friend.

Seriously let’s finish this thing up after the cut
Continue…

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UC gets real about New Moon

Dear New Moon,

First, let me preface this by saying I love New Moon the movie even with it’s sometimes cheesiness, occasional flaws (the R&J book on the bed there one minute, gone the next) and Jacob calling Bella “loca” even though he doesn’t speak Spanish. I love it because I love the book- I love the story. Plus it’s so much better than Twilight, which I also loved despite its MAJOR cheesiness and introduction of characters who belong on COPS. However……I gotta get real. New Moon isn’t going to win any Oscars. Then again, no one should have that expectation, so I shouldn’t even need to mention it.  I guess what I’m saying is, I’m a fan. A big, ol’ fangirl who runs a blog about vampires. But I’m a normal girl too. I don’t really talk Twilight outside of my LTT-life & I don’t own one single Twilight T-shirt (which is kinda a travesty). And my favorite movie so far in 2009 is a Woody Allen film. It makes no sense how I could love both Woody Allen AND New Moon. It doesn’t. But… I do. And I make no apologizes.

Moon wrote a killer letter yesterday about the hits & misses in New Moon. And I just got back from MY 3rd viewing with a “Bite Me Edward” notepad filled of thoughts, confessions and…. lists. Yes, I counted how many times Chris Hansen would have arrested me were he watching my face or feeling my pulse race during those 122 minutes. But we’ll save the lists for another time. Right now, it’s time to get real- you gotta hear out my confessions:

What do you mean they ran out of $4.99 all you can eat steamed mussels on the buffet?

Rob: For most of his scenes, I don’t think Rob looks that hot. Sure, there are moments and when he’s on- he’s ON, but the rest of the time…meh. I’m not even saying this because of that under-aged guy. Or because he looks like death at the end.  Maybe it’s because he leaves Bella and I get pissed, or maybe it’s because he looks like he’s hitting the 4:30 pm early-bird special at the Shoneys after winning his shuffleboard match. I don’t know. I’m just confessing…

Sick: I get seasick twice in the movie. Literally- seasick. First when Carlisle stiches Bella up and we have to watch it. WTF!? Why!? Couldn’t we look at some family photos on the fall of Edward and Emmett in the 70s? And then I get sick when the camera is whirling around Bella as she lies on the floor of the forest. I get motion sickness really easily and the first time I saw that scene it took me until Volterra to stop the throw-up feeling.

(ohh ohh) "Oops." "Again?" "Sorry..."

Turned on: I get turned on during the hot kiss between Edward and Bella. You know the one. It’s the one where I forget Rob resembles my Uncle Ernie before he went off to war and get lost in the sounds of his arousal. (and forget they’re for another girl) Interestingly enough, the screen turned off for about 5 minutes in our theater but the sound kept going. It just so happened to be during that scene.  We were pissed. Until…… well… until we received a gift. You can get this gift too. Next time you see the movie, close your eyes during the kissing scene and just listen.  You will get to experience the sound of Rob’s sexual frustration and arousal, without having to look at the reason he is in such a state. It’s pure bliss (If, however, you end up with images of your 11th grade boyfriend making those same noises before saying, “Oops. Do you want me to take that dress to the dry cleaners for you?” we cannot be blamed. It’s easy to mistaken those sounds in a dark theater as 15 year old male premature ejaculation)

See what other awkward stuff I have to say about under-aged boys after the jump Continue…

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