Friday Funnies

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Dear Twilight,

I was doing a little new years cleaning in our email inbox, hoping there was something interesting to share and, well, there was! In fact a few things. I never know how to categorize the random things that we receive that deserve to be shared but aren’t really “enough” to demand an entire blog post. But today it came to me: Friday Funnies. Yep, it’s JUST like Monday Fridays, except on Friday. Brilliant, right?

First up, a note (one of many we received this holiday season!) for Stephenie Meyer. Important to note, it’s from a girl:

Its the most buitful time of the year

Lights fill the streets spreading so much cheer

I should be playing in the winter snow

But I’mma be under the mistletoe

-Justin Bieber

Someone wants to be a fake lesbian with Stephenie (someone ELSE, I mean)

Sister Penguin shared this hilarious Facebook mocking with us:

Twi-mocking on Facebook

Remember when THIS was a thing:

Dear Stephenie,
I’ve totally forgotten about Midnight Sun. You could release it today and I wouldn’t care. Probably wouldn’t read it anyway. So over it. I never google it anymore to see if it’s been released and somehow I missed it. I’ve given up. My google finally broke anyway. So now would be the perfect time for it not to be written.

Sincerely,
Not going to read it so please don’t bother

P.S. Please don’t be offended. It just wasn’t meant to be.

“Twilight Artist” painted the stuff in the Cullen House

twilight-artist-gregory-kingAnd sadly (for us. happy for him) it’s not 2nd-hand embarrassing. My real life artist friend sent me something that the “Twilight” artist, Gregory King, emailed:

I have had an unusual thing come my way recently that I’m excited to share with you. Many of you may know already, but several paintings of mine were recently rented by the company behind “Twilight”, the crazy worldwide hit film saga, to be used as set decoration in their “Cullen House” location (where the vampire family lives). Yep, pretty wild. Set decorator David Schlesinger contacted me in late 2010 about it, and I worked with him to select nine pieces in total, which were hung throughout the house.
Now that’s pretty cool- and major exposure for the artists, but does that SURPRISE YOU? Set directors get NEW art for the walls in their movies? I mean.. I just assumed they went to Home Goods or something & picked out something cheap for the walls! All this time I could’ve been perfecting my artist skills & hung my masterpieces next to ROB.

And lastly, because my Christmas Tree is still up (looking sad & dry) and I just can’t say good-bye to the Holidays yet, Reasons Edward Cullen is like Santa

edward-claus-the-movie2

This is an OLDIE (From 2009) but goodie that was sent to us this Holiday season by LTT friend Bethany. Don’t miss the entire thing, but here are my favorite reasons why Edward Cullen is like Santa Claus:

4.) They both like deer.

11.) Or any one of the eleventy thousand Twilight Moms in North America, any number of whom, you just know, have Edward stockings hung by the chimney with care, right next to the cookies for Santa, who, did I mention? Sneaks into houses at night.

And I know I KNOW! There’s going to be a Twilight  MUSICAL.  Do you know how badly I wish I wasn’t going to be in Orlando (I could stop right there..) and missing the showing? We are still working on the perfect way to share our feelings about this new musical

Happy Funny Friday!

Love,
UnintendedChoice

What are you doing New Years Eve this weekend? (Speaking of NYE- are you ‘shipping Zooey & “Joe” as much as I am?)

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTR, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

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Storytime: The best of the rest

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Dear Twilight,

Oh you thought we were done with our stories, did you? (Recap #1 and Recap #2 in case you missed them!) Well, we’re not… So get excited for a lot of random info you never knew you wanted to know:

Before the craziness started, we snapped a shot with our lovely friend & new LA transplant @katespencer who does red carpet stuff for VH1.

Speaking of Vh1, we were featured as “Super Fans” on Friday (duh- we’re the biggest superfans out there proved by our Twilight-themed guest bathrooms & “I’ll take Edward and Jacob” matching underwear) and got a ton of Krisbian-hate!! Did you guys know we owned “I Hate KStew” t-shirts? Yeah, we didn’t know that either. UC & Moon: Biggest Super Fans around

Before anyone important hit the carpet, we got a group shot with the other fan sites on the carpet. Girl power represent! (Oh yeah, Kaleb Nation aka The Twilight Guy was there and Andrew from Twisource too but I think we scared them off before this picture)

Stuff you missed from the red carpet

We got to interview a LOT of people- some you’ll care about and some (sad) you probably won’t. We know because we forgot some of their names.. Shhhhhh. But we posted a bunch on our You Tube page, which, up until now, has held a brilliant video of Edward & Edward having a romantic moment in Griffith Park, soundtrack by UC, and that one time we embarrassed ourselves SO much for you all. Actually that’s all our videos have ever been. So we’re pretty glad to finally have something decent to share. If you have time to kill, we even made a playlist with all the videos: LTT Goes to the Breaking Dawn Part 1 Premiere. Don’t miss the interview with that “one vampire in the next movie we couldn’t understand.” At least we think he said he plays a vampire.

But you really shouldn’t miss Moon’s interview with Eric Odom. Especially because he gives her “the eyes.” You know the “I”m a c-list actor and so you really should want me now and why don’t we skip this whole movie thing and jump the after party(in my pants) ifyouknowwhatimsaying” eyes:

The eyes didn’t work, sorry, Eric. But you should really get that tattoo cause chicks dig Twilight related tatts (they don’t).

And if you’re looking for a BRILLIANT piece of cinematography, look no further than our interview with Nikki Reed, when the camera wasn’t pointing at her until the last second:

(Let’s give a slow clap to Moon for doing a great job at pretending she had listened to Nikki’s song!)

Much more AFTER the jump!

Continue…

51 Commented


We saw Breaking Dawn and we are Fade to Sad-isfieid

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**BREAKING DAWN REVIEW COMPLETE WITH SPOILERS DUH!!! DON’T READ IF YOU HAVEN’T SEEN BD AND DON’T WANT TO BE SPOILED!**

Forever is only the beginning

Dear Breaking Dawn,

Remember when we said Eclipse was a real movie last July? Well we hadn’t seen you yet. That’s right, just like fine wine and George Clooney, Twilight keeps getting better with age. And with age comes wisdom… here’s what we’ve learned from Breaking Dawn

Things we learned from Breaking Dawn:

  • If we hold hands in public it’s for two reasons: we are either 2nd hand embarrassed at all the Robsten fans squeeling at any kiss/hand hold/dadward/sex scene or we were genuinely scared or grossed out. Cause that happens in this. BD is NOT for the faint of heart.
  • Forget Bella, Edward and Jacob the REAL love triangle of Breaking Dawn is Sue, Charlie and Billy. Cause for realzzzz yall something is going on with the parents. Breaking Dawn has something for every age… There’s still hope after 40!
  • Becoming a vampire means instant boob job, shiny shiny Ashley Greene type hair and a permanent smoky eye. Oh and not to mention the blood red crazy eyes. You think someone will ask for this on Dr. 90210 next season?
  • Twilight movies can be funny for the RIGHT reasons no longer are Bella and Edward going on a drug trip in the Pacific ocean or slow-mo forest running in Anne of Avonlea clothes, there are moments like the wedding toasts which make you LOL because it’s really funny or when BooBoo Stewart and Taylor Lautner have actual funny Big Brother/Little Brother interaction.

His name's BooBoo... yea I know I don't get it either

  • Speaking of BooBoo Stewart, he had more lines in Breaking Dawn than Kellan has had in all the Twilight movies combined. And his name is BOOBOO. Time to get a new agent Kellan.
  • The CGI team used to create the wolfpack earned overtime concealing Kristen’s buttcrack because her gorgeous dress was cut so low in the back. Who knew butt cleavage would be the new IT thing in wedding fashions? Thanks Carolina!
    .
  • Give Jackson ANY word it doesn’t matter he will throw that faux Texas accent on it and add the Elvis lip curl and make it into a one word stand up comedy routine. We’re still trying to figure out if this is an intentional choice by him or just dumb luck.

Peter sucks at Rock, Paper, Scissors

  • Someone will ALWAYS get shafted and be wearing some sort of heinous wig on their head. Unfortunately, Peter Facinelli drew the short straw this time and to make matters worse, I’m pretty sure his hair line changed in every scene as if the bleached dead animal on his head was taking it last gasps of air before it gave in to it’s inevitable future: lying on top of Mike Dexter’s head.
  • Taylor deserves an award for making the imprinting scene less creepy than we thought it would come off and thank you Bill for showing Renesmee as an adult so everyone else would get it and Chris Hansen could stop hiding in the movie theater broom closet and sit down and enjoy the movie like the rest of us.

Can you not read my lips?! LISTEN CAREFULLY!!

  • Wolves fighting with each other via mind reading is confusing and weird for people not in the know maybe they could have had a fist fight on First Beach or an angry G-chat session instead so I didn’t have to explain what was going on to the super confused couple next to me.
  • Housekeepers in Brazil are super rude and stare a lot… especially when they think their employer is a blood sucking demon. However, the blood sucking demon offers great benefits and a 401k so they keep their mouths shut and keep bringing the eggs.
  • Critics may pan you and haters may hate but ya know what? This ain’t for them. They don’t KNOW Bella and Edward like we do, they aren’t invested like we are. These movies are for us… and the boyfriends and unicorns we drag along with us.
  • The heardboard scene still makes me laugh. HARD.

Babe, let's sleep in tomorrow and go to the 2nd service

  • You know what makes losing your virginity to a preternaturally strong vampire better? Losing it while a song fit for the contemporary service on a Sunday morning plays in the background! For reals though, best song and best scene. Sleeping at Last gets a big HALE YES from us.
  • Speaking of Breaking Hymen, REALLY Bella losing your virginity to a 107 year old virgin was the best night of your life? Maybe the best 50 seconds of your life. Or maybe you’ve got your rose colored glasses on and are romanticizing it a bit.

We do have to say though: Stephenie, thank you (from the bottom of our easily 2nd hand embarassed hearts) for stepping in and not letting them make a Robsten Porno out of the honeymoon sex scenes. THANK YOU!!! It was just right, not too much and not too little… it was perfectly executed so consider us fade to sad-isfied!

Really we loved it… and can’t wait to see it again (and again… and probably again with 10 other people) and then we’ll do some more in depth reviews.

GO SEE BREAKING DAWN! NOW!
Moon & UC

PS See more Breaking Dawn Black Carpet coverage at LTR today! I get Rob-blocked by a certain someone!

PPS Go visit VH1’s Fablife to see yours truly featured as their Super Fans! And Comment!!!

So did you see it?!  WHAT DID YOU THINK!? Favorite scene? Any laughable moments?

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTR, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

215 Commented


Storytime with LTT: Breaking Dawn Red Carpet and our new obsessions & I gotta feeling…

They actually let us in!!

Dear LTT-ers,

As you know, Monday we attended the black carpet premiere of The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 1 (say that 5 times fast after spending 4 hours on the carpet, not eating and an open bar at the after party). Since we were asked to represent Letters to Twilight on the Twilight fansite/press section of the carpet we came prepared with a handycam, a couple iPhones, questions and some killer heels.

So since we fancy now, I’ll just let us, via video, take it away with the introduction…

Please forgive us for the WORST camera angle of ALL time. ALL.TIME.

After a microphone snafu which made me beg like 10 friends for microphones we picked up our GOLD mic (which would later turn into a talking point during our interviews) and busted arse to Nokia Live because we thought we were late to check in but as with all events, they were running way behind. So while we stood in the press check in line between some old grizzled Australian cameraman talking to some newswoman with a football helmet for hair about their days at the ’96 Olympics I gave myself a little sidewalk mani


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After some mob rule style check in we found this little beauty greeting us…

We knew we had arrived.
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We then met up with Val from Twilight Poison who we would be teamed up with that night along with Lindsay from Team Twilight and Tracy from Twilightish.
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After we sat up the too short tripod, plugged in the spray painted gold microphone I borrowed from a friend and the handycam I stole from my Dad who bought it to capture my new niece (nothing but the best yall!) we decided to run around like we knew what we were doing getting b-roll and trying not to photo/video bomb EVERYONE’s intro videos… minus that blond kid who looked like he was from the Disney Channel. I definitely ran into him while he was asking some fans about being Team Edward or Team Jacob. Team give me a break people!! COME ON!

After we were all set up UC was whisked away to a different section and I picked up that klassy gold mic cause it was time to DO THIS! Let me just give a shout out to Lindsay from Team Twilight because we rocked the questions together for a lot of our interviews. Between us working the questions and record buttons and juggling mics and press alerts and Vale and Tracy on still cameras we were working ALL the angles. That is definitely what she said.

So of course we got about 8 gabillion little interviews with every vampire in the free world from A to Z  list cast and we’ll definitely bring you those soon because there’s some CLASSIC moments in those along with some wah wah waaaaah moments. In the spirit of keeping this post from taking us 10 hours to write we’ll bring you the best of the best in this post…

Speaking of the best… THIS GUY!!! Wyck is officially my new obsession… well besides our two other new obsessions whom we shall reveal later but srsly… WYCK GODFREY you guys. Letters to Wyck… Oh wait that exists. Enjoy his little dance.

Speaking of seeing Renesmee here’s little Mackenzie Foy making her first Twilight appearance! How flipping cute is this kid?

And really, the first family mother and daughter in blue?! Stop is guuuuiiize! Next you’re gonna tell me you scheduled a Christmas card photo shoot on the beach in matching white tshirts and blue jeans.
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Dude, Bella and Edward don’t need Prof. Kinsey in BD Part 2?! Hold on to your butts ladies cause Fade to Sad could get Fade to HOT DAMN in part 2 if Bill’s not pulling a Rob on us and totally making shiz up. #TeamBill
.

And the winner of Best Dressed at the Breaking Dawn Pt 1 Premiere award goes to…
TWO WAY TIE between Jacky’s creepy crushed velvet children’s birthday party magician look and Dean’s girlfriend (she likes man jewelry) with the stomach cut out jump suit. All that’s missing from this look is a velvet turban… and regret.
.

That’s right we asked a good question Melissa!

Then this happened…

Yes, he was this close to me… This will get it’s own letter at LTR and it’s own video because moments of immense hope and moments of great lose deserve to be immortalized forever on a blog. Duh.

We didn’t have too long to cry because things on the red carpet move like Bella driving a motorcycle (Twilight jokes!): at break neck speed, throwing caution to the win, with the hopes of hearing Rob, I mean Edward’s voice and sometimes ending in a big crash and burn. Oh it happened.

But with tragedy comes greatness… enter Stephenie Meyer…

.

Then THIS happened…

Yes, that is for all you LTT readers and commenters. The.Best.

After this came Taylor and Kristen and Rob again but because of time constraints and the film starting we could only get within inches of them, gold mic poised and question hanging in mid air before they were whisked away by handlers. “BOO you whores.” But really after that kind of shout out from Stephenie who needs the trinity……… this time.

There is SOOOOOO much more to come we can’t possibly cover it all in one post so stick with us… same LTT time, same LTT channel…

Moon and UC

PS you guys… the MOVIE… the movie…the.movie. we’ll talk soon.
PPS I’m going to act like my weird valley girl-esque accent can not be heard in all these videos. Please also do the same

So were you watching the live feeds at home? Were you there at the premiere? Are you in serious love with Wyck?

We couldn’t have done it without our partners in crime on the carpet: Twilight Poison, Team Twilight and Twilightish. Go visit them, follow them on Twitter and like them on Facebook to see their take on the premiere!

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTR, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

94 Commented


Questions for Stephenie – Vampire Sex

I'm sure glad we soundproofed this place... didn't we?

Dear Stephenie,

So last week when we broke down the new stills from Breaking Dawn Pt 1 (yea, that’s a really long name) we got to thinking seriously about some stuff and really there’s no one else who can answer this better than you can… So to refresh your memory here is the extended conversation that led to our questions…

Moon: DUDE can you imagine living in that house??? this brings up a LOT of questions!!
UC: NO… SO many questions
is it time for another round of “Dear Stephenie: we have a couple questions”
Moon: i mean they have vampiric hearing… so did they soundproof each room? or are they that old they just don’t care. like when your grandpa farts and could care less cause he’s 90

Sure, call us prudes, but do you really want your FAMILY hearing every little noise you make in the throes of passion? Or even working out? “What’s that I hear Jasper?” “Oh, it’s just Rosalie on the treadmill…” or IS IT? So did they soundproof the rooms, are they are on opposite sides of the house? Why don’t they all have their own little cottages like Edward and Bella get?

Shhh, no one will ever hear this

Can you imagine the real estate listing if they ever decided to sell that place? “This beautiful 5 bedroom 4 bath comes complete with it’s own cottage on the acreage, modern architecture, brand new gourmet kitchen (perfect for cooking Italiano), 10 car garage and oddly enough each room is completely soundproofed! It’s the darndest thing!”

This also begs the question WHY in the world did Bella want to be human for this? I mean besides the obvious “being human” and whatever wouldn’t she be HELLA scared of what he could do? And then if that’s the case she should definitely want to be a vampire for that… cause um ya know!

Kinda makes me want to be a vampire… so tell us, in your mind did you even go here Stephenie, or are we just the creeps with too much time on our hands?

We want to know!
Themoonisdown

PS bed-breaking sex her first time… is that really safe? For her… ya know.

So tell us, what do YOU guys think? Would you be embarrassed or who cares? What burning questions do you have for SMeyer?

Images from Weheartit.com, TwilightPoison

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTR, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

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