Twilight Rumors

Not a rumor- a dream

Dear Gossip hounds,

A few weeks back I got a frantic IM chat from a friend saying BREAKING NEWS: The Twilight saga ends on 11/16/2012. My immediate thought was, “Breaking? Didn’t that break months ago?” And as I thought more about it…. I don’t know. I definitely knew the Twilight Saga was wrapping in November of 2012- or maybe that was a rumor I heard once. Orrrr maybe someone in the know told me. Maybe Stephenie Meyer wrote it on a slip of paper & passed it to us under the table at the interview and we were like, “Seriously? We ask you for the Robsten audition tape so we can burn it and you give us this?” or maybe I actually didn’t know that date and just assumed that to be the case? Because that’s what Harry Potter did (and Summit realizes they should copy them since they’re kinda successful) or I’m just way too involved in this fandom that I have a sense about these kind of things. I get a tingly feeling & just know the Twi-future. Call me Alice.

Then I got to thinking- I don’t know what’s real, rumor or secretive anymore. I mean, IS it public knowledge that Ashley Greene & Joe Jonas are together? Or is that just still a rumor circulating among the gossip rags? And is it actually true or do I just want it to be true- a former Disney star with a purity ring giving it up to an up-and-coming star too beautiful to be already desperate enough to date someone born in the 90s (who just yesterday turned old enough to legally knock back a few shots before she shows him what’s underneath that painted on bathing suit)  And don’t even get me started on all the rumors we’ve been told about different Twi cast members being gay. (Some obvious, some not so obvious, some that we spent an entire weekend laughing over until we decided it couldn’t be true- or wait, could it!? Sorry- mums the word!) I mean unless it’s Rob- does anyone honestly really care? Well, maybe we’d care if we found out Taylor was too… because that would make so much sense.

So I started thinking about all the rumors I’ve heard over the past almost 2 years and I came up with quite a list…. mostly about Robsten… and people Ashley may or may not have slept with… Did I miss anything?

  • Why would you cheat on me? Do I look special or something?

    Rob & Nikki are together

  • Rob & Kristen are hooking up behind Oregano’s back
  • Kristen & Nikki are more than friends (I started that one, thank you very much)
  • Nikki sold out Rob & Kristen
  • Kristen is pregnant
  • Ashley’s hooked up with Kellan
  • Ashley’s hooked up with Jackson
  • Ashley’s dating Jared from Kings of Leon (and assumingly has hooked up with him)
  • Rob & Kristen are together
  • Rob & Kristen are no longer together
  • Rob & Kristen- BACK ON
  • No one likes Nikki Reed
  • Jackson hooks up with anyone & everyone
  • Rob & Kristen like to hold hands
  • Kellan is sticking his tongue down that Anna girl’s throat
  • Taylor is with Taylor Swift
  • Taylor is gay
  • Justin Chon is gay
  • David Slade is gay
  • People still don’t like Nikki Reed. And possibly don’t like Elizabeth Reeser either

    Why don't people like me!?

  • Peter & Jennie are swingers
  • Twi (male) cast member in Vancouver put ad in Craig’s list for Asian male companionship
  • Big Daddy Lautner wears a fat suit (he’s actually really in shape)
  • Chris Hansen likes little boys
  • Nikki Reed started a blog so that people like her
  • A cat will play Edward Cullen in Breaking Dawn parts 1 & 2
  • Buttcrack Santa: What does he really do with those little bottles?
  • UnintendedChoice to replace Kristen Stewart as Bella in Breaking Dawn Parts 1 & 2 (for this rumor to be true the Edward Cullen played by a cat is not true)
  • Rob & Kristen open mouth kiss before heading into house parties where dirty men’s sweatpants are considered appropriate attire.

Okay so maybe I took some creative liberties on a few rumors… but most of them I’ve honestly heard at one time or another… So all that to say, this is what I have to say about the BREAKING NEWS about Breaking Dawn Part 2 that I may or may not have already known:

“Holy Shit. I seriously have to talk about this every day for another effing 2 and 1/2 years?”

Hold me,

UnintendedChoice

Beg all you want, some rumors stay with me- but seriously… what have you heard that came true or was proved wrong? Any good rumors circulating out there right now? Was there an immaculate conception of the Robsten baby by the open mouth house party kiss? Fingers crossed!

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTR, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

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Caught in the act, the real Twilight stars stealing from the set!

Dear In Style Magazine,

I just happened to be reading a little something in your magazine  In Style about the Twilight cast and if you had to chance to gank something from the set what would it be…

Robert Pattinson – “I keep everything from the set. I’ve stolen all of Edward’s clothes.”

Elizabeth Reaser – “My original Esme bracelet. I’ve seen reproductions of it in stores, but I want to keep the one that I wear once we finish [filming]. It’s mine!”

Taylor Lautner – “All my character wears is jean shorts, so I’ll have to go with those. That’s my only option!”

Julia Jones – “Leah’s cut-offs!”

Kellan Lutz – “Emmett’s Jeep! I’ve wanted it since we shot the first movie. I keep saying that, but nothing’s happened. I’m still waiting!”

By our powers combined he is Captain Compassion!

Peter Facinelli - “Carlisle’s ring! It has the Cullen crest, the symbol of the whole family, on it. I’d like to take it home and keep it in a drawer somewhere. Once, I couldn’t get it off my finger, so it did go home with me.”

Tinsel Korey – “My relationship with everybody from set. We get along like a real family. Our relationship is special.”

Xavier Samuel – “Vampires dress really well, so it would have to be Riley’s jacket. When you run it’s a bit flamboyant, but it looks good. I recommend running in those jackets.”

Alex Meraz – “The shorts are all I’ve got! We keep using the same shorts but I keep getting bigger for each film, so the shorts keep getting tighter. By the end of the series, they’re going to be torn. Hey, sex sells and I’m glad to sell it!”

Sure, the main cast is important, we all know Rob is clepto or just super cheap and hates shopping, and of course the wolves want their jorts, who doesn’t?  And someone had to give the cheesy answer about friends (Tinsel!) but what about the real people in these movies! What about the people that REALLY matter in the Twilight world, what would THEY keep from the set?

  • Dean – One of Jacob or Bella’s wigs. It’d be much easier to hide Rob in some of those shiteous wigs then a baseball cap and dirty clothes. Everyone’s looking for a dude in a hat and dirty clothes. No one’s looking for a dude with My Little Pony on his head.
  • Big Daddy – that greasy bag of leftover Harry Clearwater Fish Fry from Twilight. I don’t even care if it’s a little moldy. That stuff looked good, it’s the whole reason I made Taylor bulk up and do the 2nd movie so I could have a chance at that famous fish fry.
  • David Slade – “The step ladder from props”
  • Solomon Trimble – “The name of that gaffer he met on set who worked part time at Subway. Solomon Trimble, Sandwich Artist. Has a nice ring to it, doesn’t it?”
  • Billy Burke – “Charlie handcuffs. Heh… heh… you know why.”
  • Cathi Hardi - (said in the most creepy Cathi voice you can imagine) “That audition tape of Rob and Kristen from my bedroom where they kiss and we really see their hot, hot chemistry… OH WAIT I already have that! HA! Just thought I’d say it again in a national publication, it’s been at least a week since I last talked about it.”

I’ll trade you, Esme’s bracelet for 5 lbs

  • Mike Welch – “I’m actually trying to lose something I gained from the set. Those 5 extra pounds around my face. Maybe I can give them to Christian Serratos, she needs some meat on her chicken bones.”

So as much as we love the main characters, can we not forget about the little people? The actors and people who REALLY made Twilight what it is today? Do we have to continue to blog for year about the genius of Eric Yorkie till someone like your magazine will know what we care what they’d steal from a set? Who cares from Rob or Taylor have to say about the inner works of their characters or who Kristen draws inspiration from. Give us crap answers from the folks that really matter.

Stealing the keys to Rob’s trailer,
Themoonisdown

What would you take from the set if you could? What would Buttcrack Santa take? Any other minor characters we need to know about?

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTR, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

151 Commented


The Best of Twilight in 2009! Part 2

Dear LTT-ers and Twihards,

Yesterday, we started our Best of Twilight in 2009 list cause well, who doesn’t love those end-of-the year lists? I know I do. Were you worried we’d miss some of your best of 2009’s in the Twi-dom? Well, have no fear cause we’re back to finish out the list…

Review 10-6 in our countdown of the Best of Twilight in 2009…

10. Oscars
09. Britpack
08. HB/Vanity fair
07. Vancouver
06. Remember Me
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Now let's really make every Twilight fan faint as if shirtless Tay wasn't enough

05. MTV Music Video Awards - May 31st 2009 will live in infamy for many reasons. Not only were we treated to the very first mini trailer for New Moon in which we got to see Jacob with his shirt off, Jacob looking hot and Jacob fursploding for the very first time then we got to see Kristen pull a Bella and drop her award on the ground but Rob and Kristen won best kiss. And oh how the fandom died a little inside when they faked us all out with their cockblock of a kiss. Of course this spiraled out of control and took the whole “are they or aren’t they”/Robsten vs Nonsten speculation to  meteoric levels. Oh and UC and Moon got the honor of live blogging the event for almost 50,000 folks with our fave blogger pals New Moon Movie, Twicrack Addict and Lauren’s Bite.
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So I was like grrrrrrrl just wait till he takes off that cream colored sweater to reveal that sleeveless button up... HMMM MMMM

04. Stephenie Meyer mentions LTTThe day Stephenie Meyer wrote her blog recounting her summer vacation will remain one of the best days in all of LTT history and one of the best moments of 2009 (and maybe in my life). Hidden amidst stories of her summer reading list and music she was currently listening to was a short blip about websites she had recently found where she cryptically mentioned adding “LTT” to her “stalk list” and thanked us for the “laugh lines.” At that moment we knew Stephenie “got it.” She got that we loved her stories, her characters and HER but that we also loved all funny little things too. Our work and time and obsession was worth it because the author of the books we were so in love with had apparently read us AND liked us enough to mention us on her site and add us to some sort of “stalk list.” Which I can only imagine is magically stored some place between the phone number for Robert Pattinson and the finished manuscript for Midnight Sun along with the outlines for post Breaking Dawn saga additions and the Alice and Jasper backstory. *crosses fingers and adds this to my prayer request list*

What will make the top three best of Twilight 2009 list? Follow the cut to see!
Continue…

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The Lautner Family Christmas letter

Today, we’re bringing you a very special family Christmas letter:

December 2009                     Issue 19, Vol 4

Family trip to the jersey shore in 06

To our Family, friends, and all the folks over at BigDaddyFan.net,

Been a big year for the Lautner family. May have heard about all the successes young Taylor has had. It’s been great having a lot of young beauties hanging around. I can get lonely ever since Debbie left. I’ve been trying to get back out on the dating scene. When Debbie split I thought I’d just hit a couple hockey games with the son, maybe hop a plane over to ol’ Pari’, breakout the handheld and find a companion, but it seems Taylor has more luck in that department. Not that I’m complaining. This blonde that has been hanging around lately is a real cutie. We have this inside joke where I goose her every time she walks by. She gets a kick out of that. Haven’t seen her in awhile come to think… They seem to be spending a lot of time over at her place. Hmm.. I’ll have to cook her up my world famous “Big Daddy triple pounder, double fried burger with pepperjack, mozzarella & swiss cheese burgers” to entice her to come around more.

You may have heard that I’ve taken some time away from the airline industry. The company no longer felt it safe for me to hook two seatbelts together to stay in the pilot seat and there wasn’t room in the budget for a bigger belt. Just need to drop another 40-50 and I can retake my tests and hopefully get back up there in the air

News from the around the Valley: I’ve been really busy volunteering for city council. You might remember me mentioning last year I started the one-man restaurant team. We lobby for the best eats to be brought into the neighborhood and try to keep In-N-Out from growing their territory. What kind of restaurant only has 4 things on their menu? I don’t care what kind of secret menu you might find if you use the world wide web, I like having options when I go out to dine. Plus, I’d never set foot into an establishment without a fish sandwich on the menu. Why wouldn’t you have a fish sandwich, In-N-Out? Don’t you know some people like a change from the triple pounder from time to time? Anyway, we had great success this year protesting a local independent theater that was showing Super-Size-Me. That’s just propaganda no one needs to hear.

I’d include some recent pictures or a video of the kids, but I’ve been a little busy using the camcorder to film all the hot European chicks Taylor and I ran across during his press tour. I also ran out of memory on my digital camera after taking a picture of every Fish-o-Filet I’ve eaten in the last year (for a promotional video on the restaurant team section of the city council website. It’ll be up here real soon: valleycitycouncil.web.us.gov/team/misc/citizenoutreach.html/fishsandwiches.webs) I gotta get over to the Radio Shack to figure out how to add more memory to this camera. But if you really care to know what Taylor looks like, just peek at the posters on every bus stop- he pretty much looks like that in real life. Makena is growing up nicely. I think she looks more and more like her ol’ pop every day! Continue…

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New Moon rumor patrol

Dear New Moon,

So the movie has been our for a week and 1/2 now and you’ve made a gazillion dollars, and there are rumors floating around EVERYWHERE. I thought I’d take a little time today, dig into the news and gossip, contact my sources and really do some research into the stories out there to help us determine what to believe or not. Enjoy!

1. Women everywhere have forgotten about their vintage green washer & dryer and have taken up hand washing their clothes in a bucket of cold, sudsy water, and Wal-mart has suddenly tripled inventory on the old fashioned washboard (formally found in the craft department to be used as decoration) as demand increases due to all the women recently inspired to manually scrub out the stains in their clothing:

True- thanks to Taylor Lautner’s washboard abs. He now gets a royalty check every time Wal-mart sells an old-fashioned washboard.

2. Chris Weitz has agreed to do Breaking Dawn and make it into two films

False or True or… this is still a rumor: Chris is concerned that he set the bar pretty high this time with the yellow pants and isn’t sure if he has another color of slacks to top them when it comes time for Breaking Dawn promotion. He has a cranberry pair that his mom sent him for Thanksgiving (they have a stitching of a turkey along the top) but are they good enough? It’s really a lot to consider. PLUS, two more movies to film? He’s really concerned that Robsten can’t stick it out that long. And nothing would be worse than the world’s precious star couple breaking up the night before Rob is supposed to bite pillows and tear apart headboards. So if he agrees to it and if he finds the perfect pair of pants, he will probably recast Bella. He’ll cast me. He doens’t know it yet, but he will. I sent him a pair of bedazzled, neon blue “UC & Moon” pants last week. He’ll get them any day now and he’ll be convinced. Feathers all over my naked body, here I come!

Continue…

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