Storytime with Moon: The Hot Topic New Moon Twi Tour kick off

Dear LTT-ers,

I ventured out last night with pals Ashley and Chelsea to attend the Twi Tour kick off at Hollywood & Highland with the stars and musicians of New Moon and boy did the stars ever show up! And here’s the story…

So 4 artists from the soundtrack, Band of Skulls, Sea wolf, Anya Marina and Death Cab for Cutie each played 2-4 song sets including their song from the soundtrack. I’m still at little sad that Death Cab only played 2 but oh wells there were bigger n better things to be had

twitourgals

Between each set was about a 15 minute break. We has wristbands for the signing but didn’t want to wait in a line that curled around the building with a bunch of people in New Moon shirts (tres embarassing) we wanted to see the bands and meet people! So we kept an eye on the line as we listened to each band, met Larry Carroll from MTV, met a radio station dude who wanted us to answer trivia (more on this later) and about a billion press folks and annoyed Hot Topic employees.

Finally it was time for us to run up to the signing. There were SO many cast members there that they broke them into two groups. Our group consisted of: Chaske, Kellan, Nikki, Kiowa and Cameron. We chose this group over Ashley/Elizabeth/Alex/Jared because we has already met Ashley and truth be told we really just wanted to hear some alpha wolf voice and exchange bitchface with Nikki.

signedjorts

Because the Hot Topic folks are meanies (aka wanted to keep the line moving) there were to be NO pictures or personal items signed but we had jorts and I told Ashley we should sneak them in! Chaske started signing our posters and I told him we brought some jorts for him to sign since the wolfpack made them famous but that they wouldn’t let us get them signed and he goes give them to me, I’ll sign them! So Ashley whips them out and Chaske begins signing them and Kellan sees this and he’s like WHAT?! And I say you know Jorts for the Wolfpack and he goes Not anymore! And whips them out of Chaske’s hand and starts signing them! The rest of the cast ends up signing the Jorts and now Ashley has a great keepsake! We chit chat some more with them and talk about where we all live and then it’s time to get the H out of the way. FYI Chaske and Kellan are good times! They talked our legs off and we were more than willing for it to happen. Too bad we couldn’t get Twicon/Prom pics with Kellan the whole encounter would have been complete. Like the Twilight circle of life!

TONS more after the jump. Video, pictures, stories, jorts, ROB!
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Billy Burke Appreciation Day!

I want YOU to appreciate ME!

I want YOU to appreciate ME!

Dear Billy,

Your fans have spoken!

I took to the twitter-webs (one of your favorite places) to ask our lovely followers who we should appreciate this Sunday and we got the message loud and clear. They wanted to appreciate YOU, Billy Burke! Can we blame them really? You are the man who plays Bella’s pops Charlie AND you were Jack on My Boys, one of our personal faves. There really is too much to appreciate here but how about we give it a whirl this Sunday…

We appreciate:

Your Tweeting skills
billyburketweet
What other celeb uses Twitter to call out journalists, lame-o tweeters and to just plain #drunktweet? You, that’s who! Never let your agent/manager cramp your twitter style! Keep on tweeting country songs and bitching out dumb folks who @reply you and we’ll keep following!

Your Copstache
copstache01copstache02
I’m gonna have to let the other girls wax poetic about your stache because I, like Bella, grew up with a dad who rocked a stache so I in no way think it’s sexy but apparently the other ladies about these think your copstache is the best thing since sliced bread and I’m gonna let them talk about it in the comments, but just know your stache is one of the best “props” Charlie has and might just give a bunch of gals naughty thoughts.
c
c

Your gun cleaning, Vitamin R and lil Halo-

I can’t lie you had some of the best lines and actions in Twilight. But we all know the humans rocked Twilight the hardest. But how you play Charlie is so spot-on… in fact dare I say your version of Charlie might even be better than Stephenie’s version of Charlie. SHHH!!! Don’t tell!

Follow the cut to see what else we appreciate about Billy and add your favorite things
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How to be a fun celebrity

Dear Twilight cast members who are absolutely no fun (read: Kristen Stewart & Robert Pattinson),

What’s your problem? Can’t you have a little fun? Sure it’s annoying having people run after you so you can sign a book that you had absolutely no part in writing. And some fans (read: most fans) are absolutely crazy, but it’s your life. And it’s not going away. So why not laugh about it? Otherwise, you’re just going to be running away for forever. And while all that running may produce a kick-ass gluteus maximus, who needs tight buns when you’re just hiding away in a dark hotel room all day long? (if you’re doing something with those tight buns in the dark hotel room, that’s a different story…)

If you want to trade positions, I’m willing. (positions in life- I’m no longer talking about tight buns) I’d be such a fun celebrity.. like Fach- Peter Facinelli. That dude knows how to be a celebrity the right way. He joined twitter, started tweeting back & forth with fans and before you knew it, some dude he knows is in a bikini on the street in Hollywood! Peter’s a good time!

I’ve put together a list of ideas on how to be a fun celebrity. Take my advice & your life will be so much more joy-filled, less stressful and you’ll be able to show off that gluteus maximus in public, instead of hiding away in a hotel room.

  • Kellan, will you ask that pap to sign my book?

    Kellan, do you think that photographer would sign my book?

    When you’re running away from the paparazzi and you jump into a cab, kiss the cabbie.

  • Tired of people thinking you’re with so-and-so just because you were seen together near the used lingerie section of VanCity’s finest thrift store? Hold hands with your bodyguard. And skip. (if you’re feeling extra funny, slip your new, used panties over the bodyguard’s head)
  • Carry around a Twilight book and have one of your cast members sign it right in front of the paps. OR ask the paps to sign it.
  • Stop fearing the paps- LOVE on them. Carry around a notebook & write little messages for them. “I like it when you call me Big Papa” (tell Big Daddy Lautner about that- he’ll get a kick out of it) or ‘Breaking News! I’m a hermaphrodite” or something simple like “I love the paps.” If you’re not feeling up to risking ending up as the latest freak mentioned in the National Enquirer, write about a charity- “fightpovery.org”
  • Get an official twitter. You wouldn’t even have to tweet often. People would still write you every day and wait for you to say “Damn that steak was good” or “My dirty hair is starting to itch” (psst there is even a setting where you can turn OFF replies from people you don’t follow! Protection from the fangirls!) Plus you could tweet lies like “Headed to 100 monkeys tonight- Man i Love them!” and instead run back to that thrift store because you forgot to pick up matching flannel pajama pants.
  • Drunk Tweet. Billy Black Burke (that was not an intentional mistake) does it the best:

    Just sitting here in my hotel room with uncomfortable images of PFach and Lutz together in a tandem lotus position. mmmm, dreamy.

    What the…?

Kstache

I love little boys, and Twitpic

  • Once you have a twitter, get yourself a Twitpic account. Photoshop yourself with a mustache. Or photoshop your co-stars with a mustache. Upload the pictures.
  • Be touchy-feely with fangirls. Well, the hot ones anyway. I happen to think Kellan should be a lil more choosy with the fans he loves on. Pick the hottest ones (we do exist), get a lil smooch and maybe, if you’re feeling dangerous, even a lil’ more. Or kiss your co-stars who don’t get enough attention. Have you SEEN Christian Serratos lately? Dang…..
  • Put it out there on Craigslist like this guy. Don’t be ashamed if you have a strong want for a gorgeous Asian boy. And even if you don’t want a gorgeous Asian boy, pretend that you do. Cause you know that some pap will reply to the ad and set-up a date with you so they can catch you and sell the story. But the joke will be on them. Dress up like a vampire (I hear you may know somewhere you can swipe some clothes & make-up), set up some candles & romantic music, get your video camera ready with a live feed to your tinychat for twitter and open the door and say “Mama taught me how to make you ‘meow’ ” The pap might not get  it, but we all will.

Stop being a sourpuss couple. Be FUN celebrities! Learn from Fach, Kellan, TayTay and whoever is 26 and looking for a lil’ gaysian lovin’ to pass the time!

Happy to help!
UnintendedChoice

Who are your fav fun Twi-lebrities?

Discuss who wants a gaysian lover on The Forum
See if Rob did anything funny over on LTR

Pic Source and Thanks to Fatima for mustache-Kristen!)

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New Moon Trailer – Breaking it Down! And ordering a Sleep Number Bed

Dear LTT-ers,

You know one of our favorite things to do is ramble on about Twilight and Rob and have extended chats about everything in the twi-world which we dubbed “Breaking it down Vanity Fair style” in homage to our very first chat of this nature that spurred the creation of this blog. SOOOO when the new trailer came out Sunday night and after many folks requested we break it down, here we are BREAKIN’ IT DOWN for you! And as usual it devolves into a chat about something completely different but yet oddly related to Twilight. So since this is a loooong one… grab a cocktail (or a diet coke) and settle in as UC, Calli and I break this shiz down!

UGGGGhhh uuhhh AHHH!!
Themoonisdown


(refresh yo memory… as if you need it)

bellwaitwhat

Wait, Carlisle is HOW old??

The one where Bella second guesses this whole thing…
Moon:
ok burning daylight, lets hit it
Moon: i love that because cathy was so fail and didn’t include some of the volturi legend they have to do all this backtracking… “the volturi?! who’s that?! they have LAWS??” Yea you should have known that from the last book Bella.
UC: wasting chris weitz’ precious time
Calliope: she’s all like HOLD UP BACKUP
UC: and while youre at it.. who is buttcrack santa again? This changes EVERYTHING!
Calliope: wtf didn’t you tell me about this LAST TIME
UC: I wouldn’t’ have fallen in love with you had I known about the Volturi! Carlisle is HOW OLD? Dude? I’m crushing on you’re 300something year old dad?
Moon: I’m not sure I wanna date you now Edward, is that Newton kid still down?
Calliope: I bet Edward says.. “Second thoughts bella?” all assholey on her like “TOLD YOU SO”
Calliope: she’s like … hold up… you’ve been celibate for HOW LONG
Moon: HAHAHA FOR THIS?!
UC: wait.. you eat MOUNTAIN LIONS? Ew
Moon: this changes everything! Trailer fades to black. The end
Calliope: yeah though granted, it makes more sense to discuss the volturi now, for the non-readers (all 10 of them) to have movie flow
UC: good job cathy the cougar
Calliope: but seriously. Bella needed this info LAST movie
UC: right… we really do need to worry about the 10 ppl left in the world who haven’t read
Moon: and dont forget they still have to touch on jaspers special power
UC: and they did NOTHING with the Alice story
Calliope: “wait a second,… jasper controls my emotions?!?! WTF edward… i trusted you!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
UC: So it’s Jasper that’s been making me feel that tingly feeling down there? I thought you were skilled!
Moon: so my first unicorn was all a ruse by you and your emotion altering BROTHER?! What kind of sick family is this?!
Calliope: Oh edward… clearly this is his first relationship. Edward is suck a fail boyfriend… just tells her what he wants her to hear.

Wanna see what else we talked about? Hint: Matlock, Mattresses and Afros… YUP follow the cut
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Happy Labor Day from the hot Twilight cast

Dear LTTers in countries other than the US,

Today is Labor Day in the United States. That means instead of working we’ll be stuffing ourselves with hot dogs and throwing up on volleyball courts. (Yes, just like Memorial Day and July 4th- we’re not very creative). For LTT and Moon & I, this means we let other people do the work for us (you may have noticed a trend all weekend long…… we started the celebration early!)

Again, the gals in Rob’s Flat daily chat in The Forum have given us the goods with a whole other slew of Twi-cast Porn:

daddy copy

wolfpackpleasure

icanbeinnocent copy

happytrail

dontask copy

bbburn

notmom copy

Daaaanngggg ladies!

Happy Labor Day from your lazy friends UC & Moon! We’ll be back in full force tomorrow! Promise!

Love,
UnintendedChoice

Talk about your volleyball score on The Forum
See who did our work for us over on LTR

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