Hi it’s me. The Worst Twilight Blogger Ever

Hi Twilight,
It’s me, UC. Aka the worst Twilight blogger ever.

I’m not lacking for content- no no no.. there are sooo many things I want to say about the Twit-longers I keep seeing daily (check out this one), the headlines about “He said, she said” (you know who I mean), the EPIC comments that are still being left on comments (search for “sordid past” on this one), but I’m reallyyyy busy cheering on Team USA and looking at half naked men reading articles that feature close up shots of Olympic athletes.

Plus Moon is in Africa for a few weeks (yes, AGAIN) Have I complained about that yet? COME BACK MOON!

Plus I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about what Kristen may have put in that alleged Uhaul that was hers (FYI– If I was the #1 highest paid actress in 2011, I’d also rent a Uhaul to move my crap). So far I’ve come up with:

  • Well…..

    Her Mullet collection

  • All her knotted t-shirts
  • The Brit pack (there’s no way she’s letting Rob keep them)
  • Short dresses packed in boxes with matching sneakers
  • A couple cardboard cutout Edwards to keep her company when the nights get lonely
  • The bearskin rug (she fears if she left it Rob would have it shredded)
  • A couple boxes of Robsten Tumblr print-outs plus a few hundreds poster-sized “KEEP CALM BECAUSE ROBSTEN IS UNBROKEN” signs to plaster around LA.

Oh, and that “Wellll…” captioned on the Robsten is UnBroken video? Imagine Timmy is saying it.

And if you don’t know who Timmy is, you need to watch this.

It has nothing to do with Twilight, but it has to do with me and I love Twilight. Therefore you should know about it:

 

I’m all over the place today. It’s all these hotties in speedos, I’m telling ya. Rob who?

Love,
UnitendedChoice

GO TEAM USA!

14 Commented


Remember that whole Robsten thing? Well…

Dear LTT-ers,

If you were not on Twitter late yesterday (west coast time) than you might have missed ALLLLL this:


Kristen Cheats on Rob! – US Weekly

Kristen Stewart cheats on Robert Pattinson with married director -People

Kristen Stewart “Made a Mistake” and feels “Awful” for cheating on Robert Pattinson – Gossip Cop

uhhhh… YIKES!

So when my phone started blowing up with texts from far and wide asking what was going on/what was happening/WHYGODWHY/Why should she do that and UC texting unintelligible things like ZOMGROmKirstncheeteosjhasisdj!!!!!jn!_!! I knew Twitter would be a mess and MAN did it not disappoint. We’re talking a 2009 era explosion among the fandom. I saw people who hadn’t tweeted in years come out of the wood work to weigh in, Nutty Madam was confounded, the fandom Glitterati came out in force to share their thoughts!

To say it was/is spectacular is an understatement. We hadn’t seen this much creativity and hilarity in months. Thank you fandom Gods for seeing to it that we got Christmas in July and that I wasn’t half way across the world when it happened. Since the story is still developing and since we couldn’t let you miss out on a single moment, we’re going to be bringing you all the best from Twitter and around the nets all day. Stay tuned here for a the best of the best in Krupbert-Robsten-gate.

Moon & UC

Updates:

Always the voice of reason and my blogging idol Micheal K from Dlisted has A LOT (of awesome things) to say about this

Every Twihard Just Melted Into a Puddle of Sparkly Misery – Dlisted

PS Michael we beat you to the Nutty Madam response. BEHOLD the twitter convo:



Now Nutty Madam is an elegant lady who is refraining from a reaction video (sadly) because she supports Twi and all it’s endeavors but just think about the possibilities and what might have been… :)

More as the story develops… (I think that’s the first and only time we’ll ever say that)

Tweets we Love (authors are anonymous)

She was careless. Her popularity will plummet. She has jeopardized sequels to SWATH & put BD at risk. No studio will want her. And with a director? Oh god.

Cuz when someone cheats in Hollywood it usually does completely ruin their career:

The spectulation about “the pictures”

so i am not in the crazy robsten forever and she woudl NEVER..but the ones standing..way too tall to be her, unless
she has heels on

AND WE KNOW SHE HATES HEELS!

These things we know to be true:

somewhere out there, michael angarano is having a pretty good day.

@joshuahorowitz sir, you know you secretly in the corner whisphering, “yes” because you think you have a chance with him. Don’t play

Follow us on @letter2twilight on Twitter (or just look at our page if you’re not a member!) for the latest…. There’s too much goodness to keep posting & I realllyyyyy have to work!

37 Commented


Twitter Blows Up with Shocking US Weekly Cover

Dear Kristen,

You can imagine my surprise, shock and confusion when I came across this picture from US Weekly on twitter last night:

;

What is your bestie Katy Perry doing with the womanizer John Mayer?!? Isn’t Taylor Swift a good friend of Katy’s? Didn’t she hear her song?

Thank goodness UC texted me last night to get online so I could see this. I would hate to see Katy get her heart broken again.

Staying strong and still believing in the magicness,

Brooke

AN OFFICIAL LTT STATEMENT WILL ARRIVE SHORTLY. AND BY OFFICIAL WE MEAN FUNNY.

7 Commented


I saw #SWATH and keep hashtagging it #SWATCH

Dear Kristen Stewart,

I just saw #SWATH for the first time and thought the following things, in no particular order:

1. YUM

2. ALSO YUM and equally IS HE THE TEACHER ON PRETTY LITTLE LIARS?

3. Even Charlize can’t look good old

4. (Thankfully she’s not that old) SHE IS GORGEOUS

5. SMELL THE FART ACTING

6. I HAVE TO PEE

7. Scandalous

8. HUMINA HUIMINA

9. I LOVE LITTLE BRAIDS

10. I’d like a Fairy please

And that’s what I thought!!

Love,
UnintededChoice

In case you care about my thoughts sans pictures: I thought it was entertaining, slightly too long because if I can’t get through a movie without almost peeing my pants (FYI I had 2 sips of water) that usually means it’s too long. Kristen did a good job. Not really any complaints even though I really did think the phrase “Smell the Fart Acting” (google it) in the middle of the movie. Charlize was great & creepy. The boys were hot and I was having a hard time deciding who she should end up with, and was relived I didn’t have to choose (until I remembered there is a sequel & I guess I will (and Snow White will) have to choose eventually) #SWATCH, I mean #SWATH

What did you think!?

 

50 Commented


Friday Funny: Kristen Stewart talks to Siri

Dear Twilight,

It’s not as funny as the original, but it’s still pretty good:

Happy Friday!

UnintendedChoice

Oh– there’s also The Valentine’s Day Video

Oh what the heck, watch the original again:

2 Commented


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