Twilight stuff happens while you’re busy having fun!

Wedgie's happened while I was gone

Dear LTT,

A lot of shiz has happened in the like 4 weeks since I checked in on Twilight. Well, let’s be honest I saw two Twi related news items in my FB feed whilst I was busy spreading good will and Robsten cheer in Kenya. One was a picture of Rob holding a surfboard with his sideways toupee hairdo and the other was a picture of Kristen who clearly used a cranium sized bump-it and a bike pump to achieve this kind of volume on the cover of a magazine. So I take it Rob won an award and Kristen was on a magazine cover. But what REALLY happened while I was gone?

I took to the Twilight news blogs (, of course) to see what I missed…

  • Rob picks up groceries in shower shoes while Sam Bradley picks a wedgie. God, I (haven’t) missed so much. (Thx Lili for the tip and awful visual).

G'Day Big Daddy! Let's throw another filet o fish on the barbie!

  • Taylor went to Australia to promote his High School Bourne Identity movie a month before it premieres on September 22. But I think the real news here is that Big Daddy is alive and well and went with him to Australia probably to see the Kangaroos and Koala’s and whether the latest restaurant in the Olive Garden family has opened yet. He’s their (faux) celebrity ribbon cutter and taste tester on ALL OG’s (hahaha how did I not see that Olive Garden’s initials are OG before this?) locations.
  • Taylor ALSO began tweeting and started a Formspring which is basically just an excuse for us to ask him more about Big Daddy and if Taylor’s love of leather jackets comes from his fascination with leather daddies. True story. I really did ask that. He didn’t answer. Jerk.
  • In other Twitter news, Nikki Reeed started an accunt (*edit* typo and it stays!). Ohhhh Nikki… Nikki, Nikki, Nikki. I’m counting the days till ome crazy over zealous Robstener’s drive you from the social network with AWFUL tweets like Joe Jonas’s crazy fans did with Ashley Greene. *Sigh*

Get these mother effing Somali Pirates out of my mother effing Arena!

  • Kellan is in some direct-to-DVD shiz with Samuel BAMF Jackson called Arena. I know nothing about this other than the dvd cover shows Kellan in a leather jacket (leather daddy?!) fighting a somali pirate with an axe. NETFLIX this someone and report back.
  • While I was away I received an email from a legit concert promoter telling me 100 Monkeys were playing the El Rey (again) and tickets were on sale. Am I the crazy person? Do real, actual, live human beings like this music and it’s not just an excuse to stare at  Jackson in a weird hat and fantasize it’s really Jasper and they’re Alice living out a real life fan fic scenario? Cause really I’m starting to question reality.
  • Summit announced that Breaking Dawn Part 1: Regrettable Sexy Times (that’s really the tagline) will premiere 5 minutes from my house at Nokia Theater on November 14th. UC and I immediately began preparing our Red Carpet questions and dresses (Bella’s Replica Wedding Dress from Alfred Angelo OF COURSE) because we WILL be there. Oh yes, we WILL be there. This is your heads up Summit, hope you’ve added us to your “press” list. Anything we would ask will be a billion times better, more informative and enjoyable than that lady from access Hollywood or some other “fan sites” (yea I said it!) Just ask Stephenie Meyer! Forever and always our trump card.
  • You know you’ve become one of those married/engaged people when you do shiz like this. Sorry Nikki Reed but NO.

Oh Rupert! LA loves you too


And with that… I think I may be caught up minus UC and I breaking down those new stills they released from Breaking Dawn Pt 1: Planned Parenthood Was Right! (The real tag line).

So happy to be back and I have some Twilight stories to share from Kenya another day.

Love to you all and mucho love-o to UC for holding down the fort while I was gone.

It’s Moon Bitches,

I know a ton of crap happend while I was gone that can’t be fit on so what did I miss? Besides you guys, duh!

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTR, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

100 Commented

The one where I made a fool of myself for Twilight


Today I was browsing my Facebook feed while trying not to have a nervous breakdown during the Women’s World Cup Shoot Out (I can’t talk about it) and noticed the vintage shop I hit up for costumes, Iguana Vintage, had a Rob and Kristen sighting. No doubt to buy out all of LA’s ugliest vintage sports tshirts and hats. Maybe a new (old) Timberwolves jersey for Comic Con? Holler Team Jacob!!

So while reading I noticed they made a glaring mistake and I felt compelled (or crazed) to comment since clearly I have no problem using my personal account to illustrate what a dork I am to the hippies running Iguana vintage.


Yes, I am that loser that felt the need to correct a Facebook page about Robsten. I have become THAT GIRL. To complete the transformation I will now go around telling people it’s Stephenie Meyer with an E not an A and that it’s PattINson not Patterson and Robsten is REAL it’s true love and Taylor didn’t use any steroids, it’s all natural people… and he’s legal!

And because me calling out the vintage clothes hippies on their Facebook page and raining all over their mothball smelling parade wasn’t enough they then updated with this…

They might as well have said “According to some crazy Twihard we were wrong and Twilight is a film and it’s not actually True Blood and Rob and Kristen aren’t actually Beeeehul and Sooookie and after we found that out we wished we hadn’t given them the 15% off we give our FB fans because they aren’t actually our FB fans and they cleared out our entire sporting section. Jerks. We hate those films.”

So Iguana Vintage this is my formal apology because I’m not THAT girl and I love your mothball smells because I find costumes for all my parties there: Back to the Future, Saints & Sinners, Rockstar Dreams and countless Halloweens too awesome to name all from your Hollywood store, I can’t do the Valley. And I truly don’t care that you know anything about Robsten or their actual names and what shows or movies their in. So can I have that 15% fan discount and my dignity back??


PS Why do those other people who commented have like 5 names each?

Have you done anything like this? Corrected someone about something Twilight-related when it really didn’t matter at all? Why do vintage stores smell like mothballs? Can someone make a vintage store where I won’t sneeze the entire time I’m inside it?

Visit Iguana Vintage

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTR, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

73 Commented

Breaking it down: Lime green, helicopters and Twilight rick rolling

Dear LTT-ers,

Some pictures from the Breaking Dawn set of honeymoon reshoots in the Virgin (ahem) Islands this weekend have finally made their way onto the interwebs in all their lime green and water socked glory. We break it down…

The one where Walmart sells Krisbian brand bikinis
UC: new love making pictures
Moon: oh lawd
UC: so Bella would never wear a lime green bikini
Moon: i was thinking the same thing. i mean really? lime green?
UC: Alice must’ve run out of time… Ran to Walmart & grabbed something from last season when packing
Moon: right who wears lime green? and WTF is going on here:

UC: well in real life she’s supposed to look “naked” but in LTT life I like to think that Kristen is making a fashion statement
Moon: is the green bikini just taped on? like her boobs are so amazing clothes just cling to them, they have to be close to the queen at all times? so i guess we can safely say the green bikini is a krisbian brand
UC: hahaha i think that’s a safe guess

The one where we don’t comment but we do:
Moon: presented without comment (yet):

UC: exactly what i was thinking….. classing it up in St. Thomas what wahtttt!
Moon: right. playing the sweet virginal sad bella. smoke it up. i’m not trying to make a judgment call on smoking but come on. i have many friends who do and i will occasionally partake of a clove ciggie but i dont know….. its like tons of kids look up to you, you know. as much as you like it or not. and we know she doesnt like it
UC: it’s gross. I’ve done it. I still do sometimes when I’m drinking & am making stupid decisions and it’s gross. Note to kids: DON’T SMOKE JUST BECAUSE KSTEW DOES
Moon: bella and edward dont like it when you smoke, kids. it makes them cry * cue “the more you know” music *

The one where it’s actually Kristen

Moon: this is actually how i picture kristen… they should just sub out the lime green for the pot-kini. save that 20 bucks they spent at target and the wardrobe budget will now equals 56 dollars total
wig budget = free from the party city leftover bin after halloween going out of business sale
UC: hahahhahahahahaha. that’s a funny picture. please photoshop pot leaves onto that. maybe add a hat

The one where Rob is a tech nerd
Moon: in other news: rob is a super nerd and brings his ipad to the beach

Moon: i wonder if he has a team edward cover for it?
UC: I wonder if he has an LTT cover (Link- i think cafe press has them)! he has “Big in Japan”
Moon: cause he is… after a really big meal of ramen. gives you the bloat.

The one where we gas up the helicopter

Moon: do you think that dude behind him just saw the robsten-copter circling overhead?
UC: hahahahah Yes. With fans attaching their parachutes.. ready to jump. ON Rob
Moon: robsteners and the paps rented boats for s. america so maybe they upped their game for the Caribbean and took to the air? they just tell the pilot to circle while they throw out handfuls of glitter on the holy couple. “rainbows of love” as they call it
UC: The actually rip off pieces of a bear skin rug & use it as confetti showering it upon their heads
Moon: They have some poor PA scurry around the set snatching up the pieces to fashion into a full size one because you can’t waste bearskin AND they forgot their travel size for the trip.

I need a full table setting for 12

The one with the real royal couple
Moon: now that they’ve “outted themselves” (heh) they have to figure out a way to upstage the REAL royal couple, Kate and William’s wedding this weekend. do you think some kissing photo will just MAGICALLY leak saturday morning? just to remind the public who REALLY matters and to stop pulling attention away from the magicness
UC: I think there will be a pregnancy rumor… maybe a photo of Bella with child on the cover of a mag
Moon: or some “mysterious” twitter

Our lovely Stephanie on the BD set

The one where we finally figure it out:
Moon: do you think rob went crabbing after the shoot in his wet suit and water socks, or did he hit up the water slide?
*time passes*
Moon: OH MAN! i think i know why that bikini is ugly lime green!!!
Moon: green screen color!!! they can replace it with whatever they want
UC: it just hit me too!
UC: smart….. (shhh don’t tell them i said that) what do you think she’ll be wearing? a little mermaid costume?
Moon: the potkini… they lost it after spring break 1993
UC: Will they CGI in some big beautiful bouncing breasts?
Moon: i just threw up
Moon: maybe her boobs will phase into wolves? she gets “THO” and BOOM wolves!
UC: they’re going to put her into a wolf bikini. just another FU to jake. gift from Edward. obviously

The one where I do some Twilight rick-rolling

Still too easy

Moon: oh and what about this one
First thoughts!
UC: hahahahaha
UC: First…. I had no idea who that was. Second, I wanted to get our my tweezers & pluck that unibrow. 3rd I laughed b/c it’s Jason playing a fake violin i mean non-existent violin. 4th I remembered the awfulness of the 100 monkeys and how serious he’s taking it
Moon: jason? who the heck is jason? and you call yourself the SUPERFAN… tsk tsk
UC: 5th I questioned… is that really jackson. I mean Jackson!!!
Moon: he really wanted that as his avi he tweeted it was his fave pic
UC: omg
Moon: i tweeted back and said “too easy.” I mean come on! you’re just asking for my mock and ridicule
UC: tweet him something we’ve made
Moon: the facial hair is the catfish phase. this must have been last yr was this his subtle cry to be cast in WFE. then ron came by and took that role from him too. oh the humanity
Moon: he looks like a huge tool
UC: HUGE tool

Seriously, it’s too easy Jackson. I mean come on now. But is anyone else a little sad that this is it. This is the end of filming……. UC hold me!!!!!

It’s not the end… (it sorta is),

Did you wish it was the potkini? Do you think that Kristen/Rob/Taylor etc are role models to younger kids? Should they at least put on a more wholesome public front? Are you sad this is the beginning of the end?

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTR, The Forum, Twitter, The Store


130 Commented

Who should have played Bella?

Dear Twilight-

It’s no secret that I’m not crazy about Kristen Stewart as an actress. Moon & I have admitted as much way back since the beginning of this blog. Well obviously it’s because she’s with Rob obviously b/c obviously I sensed their magicness the first time I saw Twilight and was so jealous obviously. (Do you see what I did there? I used sarcasm to out myself as a nonsten)

No but seriously, I’ve never been crazy about Kristen Stewart as an actress. I’ve said it time & time again. We don’t need to debate her acting right now. You can like Kristen, I don’t care (But if you want to debate it read this post:  it’s a good read)

But we should talk about this question I thought of yesterday:

As I was driving into work I was thinking about LTT. I was thinking about what Moon and I have done for now over 2 years and how to explain it to someone who is outside of it- maybe to someone who doesn’t know Twilight or anything about the fandom. And I realized (or I admitted) that we’ve said some HARSH things over the years. And every time we have we’ve known the backlash we might get or the reactions we probably could expect. We’ve rarely been surprised by a reaction. So I was thinking about explaining to someone about one of the more contentious things we talk about- Kristen. And I was thinking that this imaginary person talking to me in my car might ask me, “Well, if not Kristen, then who would you want to play Bella? ” and I was stumped by myself talking to myself as an imaginary person asking me that question. (I’m crazy in the car in the morning, clearly.)

I don’t know!? Who would I want to play Bella? Kristen Stewart is Bella! I never thought about that before- I never thought about anyone else playing Bella. We’ve never explored that before, even on LTT. So today we’re going to discuss who should’ve played Bella:

Well the first OBVIOUS choice OBVIOUSLY is.. me!

Here are the reasons why. I’m beautiful, as evidenced by this picture:

(Sidenote: That was made for me LONG Before Face-in-a-hole did it. LOOK at the date on the poster!) Also, I’m very sexy (You know, all the things Bella should be) and I really really really want to make out with Rob on a bed.

Bite Me

Well, if I can’t get the role, then who else? I swear that I remember seeing that Lucy Hale was in the running for Bella at one point. She’s adorable . I love Pretty Little Liars & the scandelous teacher/student relationship. Plus I love those pants movies. But Lucy as Bella? Hmmm… Not so much.

I’ve heard people mention Kat Dennings. Probably because she’s sarcastic & not so super girly- sorta has the Bella personality. But she has really big boobs (NOT how Bella was described). Plus there was a photoshoot she did with Rob oh so long ago…


Stephenie’s first choice was Emily Browning. I don’t know much about her- but she definitely has that “girl next door” LOOK that Moon & I had imagined a little bit more for Bella. I can see why Stephenie picked her.

But WHO ELSE has that Bella persona? And what other American brunette’s have I forgotten to mention? Who could pull it off? Who would just CLICK as Bella?

The reality is, I’ve never thought that someone else should be Bella. I’ve just never THOUGHT about it. And now that I just did in today’s letter, I don’t think anybody else is right for it. Maybe it’s because Kristen’s played her in 3 movies & I can’t imagine anyone else as Bella. When I think of Bella now, I see Kristen in my mind. I don’t even see whoever it was I had pictured as Bella before I knew Kristen would be playing her. There literally is no one else that comes to mind. And despite not enjoying her acting as I never have, obviously because she gets to “do it” with Rob Pattinson obviously, I don’t think anyone else should play Bella, (well, besides myself of course!!)


Congrats Kristen, you ARE Bella to me (exactly what you want to hear!) What do YOU think? Have you ever pictured another actress as Bella? Think anyone else could pull it off better? Pick me! Pick me!

Oh- wanna watch something fun- aka a bad video to a bad song, but fun nonetheless?! Here’s a video showing all of Stephenie’s original cast picks. Some are SO interesting!

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTR, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

212 Commented

Kristen’s Theme Song: The Climb

Dear LTT-ers,

It’s (one of) your favorite bloggers here, Moon, stepping in for UC this Friday. She won’t be with us today because LIFE HAPPENS. And when life happens we just go with the flow because life is always more important than counting the hairs on Robs head or speculating about Solomon Trimble’s part time job (Waxer and Facialist). Where ever you are today send some love and prayers and good vibes to UC and her friend.

With that in mind let’s listen to Kristen talk about her theme song: The Climb by Miley Cyrus…

YUP, THE CLIMB. By the Miley Cyrus of Billy Ray Cyrus lineage. God, I would not pay money to hear her karaoke this but man would I enjoy seeing it happen!

Let’s sing it together…

Well it’s Friday so get out there and have some fun and be thinking of our lil UC and her Friend and it’ll all be preeeeetttttyyy cooool!


As cheesy as Miley and this song is the lyrics ring true, it’s not ever going to be easy but it’s about the journey or the cllliiiiiiimb if you will. Had one of these experiences lately? What your theme song?

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTR, The Forum, Twitter, The Store


68 Commented

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