Twilight Rumors

Not a rumor- a dream

Dear Gossip hounds,

A few weeks back I got a frantic IM chat from a friend saying BREAKING NEWS: The Twilight saga ends on 11/16/2012. My immediate thought was, “Breaking? Didn’t that break months ago?” And as I thought more about it…. I don’t know. I definitely knew the Twilight Saga was wrapping in November of 2012- or maybe that was a rumor I heard once. Orrrr maybe someone in the know told me. Maybe Stephenie Meyer wrote it on a slip of paper & passed it to us under the table at the interview and we were like, “Seriously? We ask you for the Robsten audition tape so we can burn it and you give us this?” or maybe I actually didn’t know that date and just assumed that to be the case? Because that’s what Harry Potter did (and Summit realizes they should copy them since they’re kinda successful) or I’m just way too involved in this fandom that I have a sense about these kind of things. I get a tingly feeling & just know the Twi-future. Call me Alice.

Then I got to thinking- I don’t know what’s real, rumor or secretive anymore. I mean, IS it public knowledge that Ashley Greene & Joe Jonas are together? Or is that just still a rumor circulating among the gossip rags? And is it actually true or do I just want it to be true- a former Disney star with a purity ring giving it up to an up-and-coming star too beautiful to be already desperate enough to date someone born in the 90s (who just yesterday turned old enough to legally knock back a few shots before she shows him what’s underneath that painted on bathing suit)  And don’t even get me started on all the rumors we’ve been told about different Twi cast members being gay. (Some obvious, some not so obvious, some that we spent an entire weekend laughing over until we decided it couldn’t be true- or wait, could it!? Sorry- mums the word!) I mean unless it’s Rob- does anyone honestly really care? Well, maybe we’d care if we found out Taylor was too… because that would make so much sense.

So I started thinking about all the rumors I’ve heard over the past almost 2 years and I came up with quite a list…. mostly about Robsten… and people Ashley may or may not have slept with… Did I miss anything?

  • Why would you cheat on me? Do I look special or something?

    Rob & Nikki are together

  • Rob & Kristen are hooking up behind Oregano’s back
  • Kristen & Nikki are more than friends (I started that one, thank you very much)
  • Nikki sold out Rob & Kristen
  • Kristen is pregnant
  • Ashley’s hooked up with Kellan
  • Ashley’s hooked up with Jackson
  • Ashley’s dating Jared from Kings of Leon (and assumingly has hooked up with him)
  • Rob & Kristen are together
  • Rob & Kristen are no longer together
  • Rob & Kristen- BACK ON
  • No one likes Nikki Reed
  • Jackson hooks up with anyone & everyone
  • Rob & Kristen like to hold hands
  • Kellan is sticking his tongue down that Anna girl’s throat
  • Taylor is with Taylor Swift
  • Taylor is gay
  • Justin Chon is gay
  • David Slade is gay
  • People still don’t like Nikki Reed. And possibly don’t like Elizabeth Reeser either

    Why don't people like me!?

  • Peter & Jennie are swingers
  • Twi (male) cast member in Vancouver put ad in Craig’s list for Asian male companionship
  • Big Daddy Lautner wears a fat suit (he’s actually really in shape)
  • Chris Hansen likes little boys
  • Nikki Reed started a blog so that people like her
  • A cat will play Edward Cullen in Breaking Dawn parts 1 & 2
  • Buttcrack Santa: What does he really do with those little bottles?
  • UnintendedChoice to replace Kristen Stewart as Bella in Breaking Dawn Parts 1 & 2 (for this rumor to be true the Edward Cullen played by a cat is not true)
  • Rob & Kristen open mouth kiss before heading into house parties where dirty men’s sweatpants are considered appropriate attire.

Okay so maybe I took some creative liberties on a few rumors… but most of them I’ve honestly heard at one time or another… So all that to say, this is what I have to say about the BREAKING NEWS about Breaking Dawn Part 2 that I may or may not have already known:

“Holy Shit. I seriously have to talk about this every day for another effing 2 and 1/2 years?”

Hold me,

UnintendedChoice

Beg all you want, some rumors stay with me- but seriously… what have you heard that came true or was proved wrong? Any good rumors circulating out there right now? Was there an immaculate conception of the Robsten baby by the open mouth house party kiss? Fingers crossed!

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTR, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

70 Commented


There’s an (Twilight) app for that!

(Today Freya gets all tech-y on us and talks about her iphone and Twilight… there’s a post for that! xo, moon)

none of the above!

Dear Twilight:

I’m a total iPhone fangirl. I’ve had my 3GS for over a year now, and I am an app whore. I love the fact that iPhone advertises that “there’s an app for that.” Because it’s so true. And as we recently discovered (and UC discussed on Letters to Rob), there’s even an app for stalking Rob! So you can conveniently know where Rob is two days after he appears there. And so you can also get incensed and start your “Respect Rob” campaign afresh (or whip out your jazzhands and “Disrespect Rob Nice and Slow” with me).

Anywhoodle, it got me thinking about what kind of apps the rest of the Twilight cast might have, if they were so popular. What kind of things are being slaved over by the application developers of the world RIGHT NOW? Without further ado, here are some of my ideas. (If you decide to develop these, bitches, I want a cut!)

  • Justin Chon’s Disco Double Pack!
    In an excellent value for your money, the people behind Justin Chon, AKA “Gaysian Eric”, are offering two applications for the price of one, both marketed to the ladies. The first app is The Gaysiandar. Most women have to rely on their intuition to figure out if a guy is on her side of the fence, or on the other side. This app, which mysteriously uses the landscape and portrait orientation function to identify another kind of orientation, is to help those clueless girls out, and to save them the heartache of falling for just another fabulous face.
    The companion app is entitled “How to Hag”. For all you aspiring hags out there, you, too, can walk in the footsteps of Angela…ummm…anyone who wants to have a gay boyfriend. Some tips include “don’t be too attractive; if you are, cover it with nerdish glasses” and “be slightly taller than your gay boyfriend, so if you’re ever tempted to kiss him, it will be extremely awkward.” Words to live by, ladies.

    There's an app for that

  • Kristen Stewart’s Bitchface!
    A photo editing app, this one will slap a mildly uncomfortable grimace or a wryly sardonic raised eyebrow on the faces of your family and friends. Imagine the hilarity of showing off your family reunion photos, with everyone from Aunt Gladys to cousin Earl to Granny Marie with matching bitchfaces! Or the fun of sending a sexy bitchface photo to your Stew-lovin’ boyfriend or husband! You can also buy bonus effects from the app store, such as “awkward feet” and “flipping the bird.” You can also buy the “Copstache” effect for an additional .99 cents. Fun for the whole family!
  • Kellan Lutz’s Protein Calculator and Modeling Tips
    How much protein is in a ziplock bag of hard-boiled eggs? Kellan Lutz knows! And now he’s bringing those secrets to you! Just type in the name of the food you’re going to eat and the calculator lets you know how much protein is in your meal! This app also offers tips on how to look your best at a photoshoot (“Take off your shirt, but not if you’re flabby,” “Oil up your muscles, maybe even with real crude oil,” “carry a manly prop, like an axe or a wrench” “use a sock”). Kellan’s voice offers encouraging phrases when you fall behind on protein consumption. Hear him say “You can do it!” “No, really dude, you can do it!” “For real, you’re awesome, and can do it!”
    (Side note: I think my gay boyfriend has already downloaded this app. But he uses the encouraging phrases for “recreational” use, if you know what I mean.)

    There's an app for this

  • Dress Me Up Taylor Lautner
    In the style of virtual paper dolls, you can dress Taylor up, or dress him down! With a plethora of black suits and skinny ties, he’s ready for a premiere, night on the town, a press junket, an awards show, or just a quiet night at home. Also included: track pants, basketball shorts, karate outfit, and a variety of pop and Disney stars for accessories.
  • Nikki Reed’s Does the Carpet Match the Drapes?
    Well, we all know the eyebrows didn’t match the hair. In this fun matching game, make Nikki’s sartorial selections for her! Match curly red with long straight blonde. Black and bald? Or bald and black? You make the call! Points for the most attractive coiffure, both north and south, will win you bragging rights with your friends!
  • Michael Sheen’s Intimidating Evil Laugh
    Much like the vuvuzela app, this app doesn’t do much. It just repeats Michael Sheen’s amazing New Moon laugh over and over again. Frighten pets, annoy your friends!
  • Xavier Samuel is Hot
    This app offers a daily photo of Xavier Samuel to remind us of his hotness. That’s all. Do you really need more?

    There's an app to remind you!

  • Solomon Trimble was in Twilight
    This app synchs with your calendar. Once a day, every day, at a randomly chosen time, an alert will pop up to remind you that once upon a time, Solomon Trimble was in Twilight. Seriously. He was an original Wolfpack member. And don’t you forget it!
  • Buttcrack Santa Sings the Blues
    Since he couldn’t get an album deal, Buttcrack Santa now does a podcast. Accompanied only by his lonely blues guitar, he sings his original tunes with such catchy names as Animal Attack!, Hot Girls Suck (Your Blood, Not Anything Good), and Don’t Rock the Boat (There are Vampires Inside).
  • Dakota Fanning Countdown Clock (AKA “The New Legal In Georgia”)
    Most Twi-related crap is marketed for the females; this one is for the gentlemen. As advertised, this app will count down until February 23, 2012. The Runaways was very confusing for some gentlemen, thanks to Dakota and Kristen and their kissing, so in case a reminder is needed, this app is here to help!

Be watching your App Store for these and other fabulous Twilight releases, coming soon! Remember: TWILIGHT: There’s an app for that!

Love,
Freya

There’s an app for how awesome our vacation letter writers are! Make sure you’re following them and show your love!

What app would Big Daddy have? How about David Slade? What kind of app do WE here at LTT/LTR need?

And don’t forget to participate in While Moon was Gone!

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTR, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

114 Commented


Nikki Reed gets some ink and we wonder what it could be…

R-o-s-e... I mean R-o-s-a... dang it I can't even spell it right!

Dear Nikki,

Word on the street (courtesy of your picture or tip to the rags) is that you got matching tattoos with your brother last week. Of course my mind started racing, thinking about what your tattoo could be… a name, a saying, a memorial piece commemorating your fake lesbianship gone wrong with Kristen. So of course I hit the emails to see what my pals thought it could be. Because what else is there to wonder about then your new tattoo and the endless possibilities of laughs there could be? Witness the resulting email train as we try to deduce what the tattoo could be…

@moon – nikki reed got a tattoo… your guesses for what the tattoos says or is… AND GO!

@brookelockart- my gut says it’s the shocker symbol and below it reads “Two in the Pink – One in the Stink.” All in cursive cause that’s classy

@calliopeblabs - it matches her brothers correct? therefore i’m going to guess it says “legalize it… sibling lovin’” OR “its ok in KY” i’ve no idea what sort of relationship nikki reed has with her brother. however… it wouldn’t surprise me. i mean, where exactly do you go after rob?

@pinkfluffgirl – Obviously, a bleeding heart and then  KSTEW 4EVA ….OR F U Rob….
“But I loved her first” is most likely. In Curly Cue font. Because that’s lipstick lesbian-y

@too_far_gone “he was mine, you skanky bitch”

@pinkfluffgirl - maybe “I BLEW HIM FIRST” would be more apropos

@moon – my guess? a withering loquat tree with the phrase “what could have been” underneath it?

RIP KS + NR + RP + MA
2008 – 2009 1/2

@brookelockart – What if they went his and her cholo and chola tatts?? Tattooed tears? She does look like she’d cutabitch.

@UC – “I FKD ROB” but that’s just what i’d get

@veryemerald – I’d go with tick marks like when you are counting by 5′s and the fifth line goes across the first four. Probably be easier to keep track of all the men she has been and will continue to sleep with to try and get that “Rob” feeling back. and when people ask she can make something up like “oh its just the number of time I’ve prayed with Kellan”…

@obird - One of two things: “Get a Bitch or be a Bitch” OR my favorite “Boobs in the Shoes”

@brookelockart – “CONFIRMED WITHOUT WORDS”

@tiffanized - It’s easier to guess what it’s NOT. Like it’s definitely not “Natural Blonde” or “True Love Waits”. My official guess is . . . a portrait of Catherine Hardwicke, since she obviously sold her soul to C-Hard in order to be cast as the most beautiful female vampire in Twilight.

@moon – tested and approved: hepatitis free!

Then the big guns started coming out… and by big guns obviously I mean bored girls with photoshop…

@obird – “I got your loquats right here”…..of course across her chest.

@proselyte3 – Pfft…it obviously states:   ‘I am relevant’
or maybe this…

DING DING DING!!! I think we have a winner! The perfect combination of bitchiness, anger and wistfulness all wrapped up into a little memento you’ll have forever, Nikki. If this is really it, we may never know… or we may just have to wait a few weeks till it heals and can be seen perfectly by the paparazzi lenses.

Call us if you want to reveal it exclusively on LTT!
Themoonisdown

So what’s your guess? What is Nikki Reed’s tattoo? A saying, an image, a dolphin jumping through a rainbow hoop with Rob riding on it’s back? Weigh in on your guess in the comments

BIG THANKS to the funny ladies who made me laugh enough to post this email! I’ve got an appointment to get a tattoo of you guys on my bicep right next to my Stephenie Meyer autograph tattoo! Follow these ladies: @proselyte3, @obird, @tiffanized, @brookelockart, @veryemerald, @too_far_gone, @pinkfluffgirl, @calliopeblabs

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTR, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

355 Commented


Storytime with Moon: Eclipse Premiere and Red Carpet Event

Dear LTT-ers,

Tonight (I’m writing this at 2am) was the Eclipse premiere and red carpet event in downtown Los Angeles and I was there. Barely. And no thanks to the awful security/event management company SEM who couldn’t keep their rules straight, changed the rules whenever they felt like it, were led by a power hungry dbag, were so worried about ticket fraud they even wristbanded a BABY (which didn’t work! Fraud happened). It was shenanigans to say the least. BUT, we were in, and after meeting up with tons of #leghitch2010 girls we dropped off LilCrazyCow (my cousin) who would be helping us live tweet from her spot on the ESPN restaurant balcony, we headed off to get in line to be loaded into the bleachers by the red carpet.

Of course waiting meant we got to see a bunch of crazies in their natural habitat… outside a movie premiere…

THEY EXIST!! In real life!!! And I always thought these lived on Etsy (or Regretsy) only. Nope! People buy these!


Then these 2 old creepers showed up. I asked them what they were doing here (since they didn’t know the name of the movie), they said they were there to see a BIG TIME movie premiere… AND to pick up chicks. I told them they better check ID’s cause I was calling Chris Hansen on their creeper asses. WEIRD!


And this girl brought a TIGER BEAT for the cast to sign… ummm… ok???


It was already pretty 2nd hand embarrassing so we sat down for a second to collect ourselves before we would be faced with being in the middle of the screaming masses AND the cast.


Then we were finally taken to the bleacher area were we sat with @myrobpattinson and a few hundred people who would quickly become the bane of our existence.

Let me tell you after spending about 3048324 hours in those bleachers I don’t even know who half the cast is anymore I was so astonished at the total lack of knowledge regarding the Twilight cast from the so called fans who somehow got wristbands to sit in this special section. So don’t worry about me I just may call them by the names the “fans” gave them tonight for your reading pleasure!

First up was Tyson Houseman, aka the Nerdy Wolf who no one around us even knew. So we gave up thinking he’d come over because everyone was too worried about “Jacob” and when he’d show up. Um, not till WAY later people!


Then Mike Welch RAN over and ran up and down the line several times probably in effots to burn a few extra calories and earn some more points on Weight Watchers, but he reminded us we gotta get that protein in us!


And then in one of the “WTF arrivals” of the night Tia and Tamara Mawry showed up and worked the red carpet and even came over to sign for fans further cementing our musings about the connection between ABC’s TGIF and the Twilight franchise. Cause surprisingly the crowd knew all about these girls, pronounced their names right and talked about their show “Sister Sister.” I kept asking Ashley what planet we were on. TIA AND TAMRA MOUWRY?!


Then we noticed this dude who we swear we thought was Paris Latsis, Nikki’s old/maybe current/we don’t know boyfriend, but then we noticed he was wearing and Eclipse tshirt and was somehow working for Summit. But maybe that’s Nikki’s parting gifts to her ex boyfriends? Jobs at the studio she makes movies with? Maybe the whole “Greek Shipping Heir” thing isn’t working out for him and he needs some extra hair dye money?


It may not have been Paris Latsis but it was fate that we noticed him because without him we wouldn’t have seen this beautiful piece of art work behind him. I know when I’m planning out my posters for red carpet events my first idea is “pencil drawing of Rob and Kristen.” Who needs glitter when you can capture their magicness with a drawing?


Earning the nights “Classy Moments” award would be Papa Stew throwing up rock signs at his rando pals and then having a ciggie right in front of the fans, the huge Eclipse banner, and the radio/MC guy then snubbing it out on the edge of the carpet.


Heard in the bleachers: “OMG PapaStew and Nikki Red are hugging!” #awkward


BEST DRESSED OF THE NIGHT! Hands down!


Taller than the fire hydrant but shorter than the limo… David Slade!! To get the full effect of his teeeeeeny tiny awesomness here’s him walking away since when he came near the fans it was almost impossible to see him… he he


Do I spy some sort of blog/croc on his feet?

Follow the cut for part 2 of the Eclipse premiere complete with the Holy Trinity, a double take and a wink
Continue…

101 Commented


Storytime with Moon: I went to EclipseCon this weekend, what’d you do?

Dear LTT-ers,

I can honestly say I never thought I’d end up at a Twicon in my lifetime but I’ve thought a lot of things previously: I thought I’d never run a fansite/blog, I’d never create something where the words porn/peen/jorts/hot pocket were used as much as words like “the” and “and” and I never thought I’d walk into a Hot Topic on a simi-regular basis but well, we all know how this turned out. So upon hearing the cast (the trinity!) who would be there, I couldn’t ignore their siren call. So that’s how I ended up at the Eclipse Conference in Los Angeles and I was going to make the best of it! Here’s how it went down…

Whoever’s creating these events must think we’re all 100 year old farmers who get up at dawn because the very first panel was The Cullen Family at 10AM!!!!!!!!!! WTF?! How was I supposed to get all beautified for the day and over to Culver City on a Saturday morning AND get my beauty rest? Because if you know one thing about me readers, know this: I LOVE to sleep. Ask anyone, it’s true. But I hauled ass over there and skated into the biggest hotel ballroom I’ve ever seen before just as the Cullen’s were starting…


They answered some questions I don’t quite remember since they weren’t all that fascinating (this would become a theme for the day). Either Twilight fans want to hear the same ol boring questions over and over again or Creation Entertainment weeds out the good shiz like “Jackson, do you really think 100 Monkeys plays good music? Because we think it might just be a HUGE joke you’re playing on the fandom. Inquiring minds want to know, Moon row triple X.”

I mostly spent my time imagining Peter Facinelli as Mike Dexter saying “A-man-duh!!!” and where the heck Kellan was. This is a Twicon for goodness sake this is like Kellan’s Superbowl. If anyone was there it should have been Kellan! How was I going to get my prom-pose picture with him if he wasn’t there? What else better does Kellan Lutz have to do than be at a Twicon on a Saturday morning at 10am? Was he too busy making more videos about mammograms with his Mom or maybe it was prostate exams with his dad this time? Turn your head and cough, Dad!


The lovely and blonder Ashley came over to sign a huge poster thingy. Probably pissed about not being the big draw like during New Moon press. Or maybe just wondering why she said out loud if she had to pick one person to be stranded on a desert island it would be Jackson. They SO did it.


This was just some serendipity that I got this photo when Nikki came over to sign the poster thingy. Poor thing.


Then it was time for some hotties. The Bad Vamps. Bryce was a doll, her outfit, THE HAIR (no need for a wig you idiots!), her answers. She really does seem like a huge fan and talked as candidly as possible about taking over the role of Victoria. Then there was Xavier… and if I didn’t love him long time before, I loved him even longer now. What a dreamboat. Sadly, I wasn’t the only one who thought this and it led to some insane cat calling. At 11 in the morning?! Damn ladies, don’t make me turn the hose on you all. All that nonsense led me to this…

tons more shenanigans, 2nd hand embarrassing moments, and a billion more pictures after the jump
Continue…

138 Commented


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