Storytime with Moon & UC #RIPTwilight Part 1:

Dear LTTers,

That’s right- this is Part 1 of 2 of our EPIC story from our amazing #RIPTwilight week together. We wish more than anything we could have taken you with us, shrunk you down a little bit and carried you in our pockets on every adventure we had together. You’d be pocket-sized LTTers. We’d even let each of you have a moment alone with Pocket Edward in our purses if that’s your thing. Some of you could even choose Pocket Bella and we wouldn’t even bat an eye. But alas most of you weren’t there with us and so we’ll do our best to share every detail we can so it feels like you were!

Tent City

I (UC) flew into LA on Friday evening. After big hugs with some of the OG LTTers we had dinner & headed on over to Tent City to catch up on what was going down there.

Turns out not much. They were watching New Moon on the Big Screen at LA Live & as if God was welcoming us there the scene that was playing as we walked through security was the one when Kristen says “They’re NOT Bears!”

I found a sign that was begging to be leg-hitched
Leg Hitch Edward Cullen

This sign was amazing:

how the fuck can i keep calm?

And this:

And all the ROBSTEN signs:

It was basically a 2nd-hand embarrassment dream come true.

Then a HERD of Twilight fans went running because they heard a rumor that a Twi-cast member MAYBE was there. There was no cast member, and if herds like that happened often during the weekend I’m SHOCKED no one was killed. Angry/cold/Annoyed Twilight fans should be AVOIDED AT ALL COSTS. (of course none of the amazing “camping” LTTers were ever angry/cold/annoyed*)

The concert

On Saturday we headed back to tent city for the concert for the campers. A few people from the soundtrack performed like: A boy and his kite (Great song!), Anya Marina (YEP. HER), Paul McDonald and Rosalie Hale (I mean Nikki Reed) and Christina Perri.

Jackson MC’d and if you remember us complaining about how TERRIBLE Charlie Bewley did last year, you’ll know this a good thing. There is a DEF a career for Jackson hosting a show like “America’s Funniest Home Videos” if this acting thing doesn’t work out. He did a great job.

Jackson Rathbone Tent City 2012

Eventually Ashley Greene joined him and they were all cute Alice-and-Jaspery together:

Ashley Greene Tent City 2012

Christina was my favorite because she is a major Twi-hard. She was wearing this pretty red jacket while singing her first song (or two)

Christina Perri and then right before she sang the song that brings us ALL to tears (especially if you’ve seen BD part 2 already!) “A Thousand Years” she took off her jacket and revealed a Twilight T-shirt like the huge Twi-dork she is:

Christina Perri Twilight Tshirt

ALSO she apparently has A Twilight tattoo that says “bitten” on her wrist. Way to keep it classy Christina!

Apparently this was Nikki Reed’s first time performing in public, something she said over and over again. Then she cried. AND had to sit while singing and everyone was soooo sympathetic. She sang. She did fine. Then she sang with her husband and at the end they shared a mic and we threw up in our mouths a little bit.

Sidenote: I think Nikki Reed is genuinely grateful for her Twilight experience & how her life has changed as a result. But she says it so often and with SO MUCH EMOTION that it seems fake. Also we liked her jacket. End Sidenote.

During the concert we saw the most EPIC Buttcrack of all time. I have picture proof and everything but…. for reasons I cannot discuss I cannot post it. But it’s like Buttcrack Santa sent us a gift in his absence. Imagine a chilly California day. You’re in California so you expect it to be warm so you’re not dressed appropriately. Then imagine your buttcrack showing SO much and somehow you DON’T notice despite the cold day and the inappropriate-for-the-weather clothing. Seems impossible, right? WRONG. It was possible. I saw it with my own two eyes. Buttcrack Santa gifted us this.

Then the BIG SURPRISE was revealed when Stephenie Meyer came on stage to talk to the fans (as much as a “BIG SURPRISE” can be when you notice a huge-ass card on the side of the stage that says “DEAR STEPHENIE” in big letters inside…. I don’t know who else noticed, but I kinda figured that was coming!) She said some sweet stuff and then ran the hardest Twilight trivia of all time- which people actually PASSED. And those who got correct answers got to dine with her that evening. Pretty fun idea & I am either the worst or best Twilight fan for not knowing the answers. I’m not sure. (but I think best…)

Stephenie Meyer Tent City 2012

“What was I wearing to bed the night I dreamed of Edward Cullen?”

Much much more after the jump! Continue…

45 Commented


A sit down with Esme, Carlisle & Rosalie

Dear Twilight,

We got a chance to sit in on another round table interview with our fansite friends during Comic Con with Peter Facinelli, Elizabeth Reaser & Nikki Reed. We aren’t the “post transcripts of interviews” kinda-gals (partly b/c up until 5 minutes ago we were the red-headed stepchildren of Twilight and all our interviews were made up (Have no fear– we still are stepchildren. We just would rather be pink-haired if that’s cool with you)) and also because there are tons of fansites out there if you want to read interview with the cast. We’d rather share our commentary. We think it’s that important*

But today I have 1,000 things on my to-do list & MOON is leaving us AGAIN for Africa on Friday. She needs to stop going to Africa. For reals. Twilight needs her. So not much commentary to share.

But I DID discover that we’ve never shared fanart of Esme & Carlisle. Which I apologize for. Because this shizz is goodddddddddddd:

(Click to make bigger & Scroll through)

Love,
UnintendedChoice

Full Interview after the jump!

Continue…

5 Commented


Breaking Dawn is trying to sell us something else

Dear Breaking Dawn Promo stuff,

Sometimes I get the feeling you are trying to sell me more than just the movie. Like when I look at the promo pictures it feels like there’s really an underlying message or brand I’m being sold. It’s as if the Summit Marketing team got together to come up with some ideas for “brand partnerships” to create “film and corporate synergy.” Yea, I’m pretty sure the word “synergy” was used a lot… So when I saw this latest batch of promo headshots from Breaking Dawn I knew I had to be onto something…
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Poor dude who plays Caius, with every movie he loks progressively more and more like Fabio. They might as well just give him a tub of butter to hold while he’s sitting behind Aro in the Voltera, Italy scenes and help make some extra money with product placement.

Charley Bewley is like one faux hawk and guy liner fueled make up and hair session away from his own Ed Hardy ad campaign. Poor guy, it’s not like he wants a rhinestrone tiger havng sex with a Koi fish on his chest, give the guy a break folks.
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Carlisle’s not just the president, he’s also a member!

Dude, Carlisle is already winning the race for worst wig in Breaking Dawn and we haven’t even seen the film yet. YIKES.
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Sure, most of Kellan’s life has been spent looking like an outtake from International Male Catalogue but we don’t need the official promo shots reminding everyone! Though I’m pretty sure Emmett did some Internantional Male Modeling in the 80s, I don’t want to see his mesh shirt collection any times soon.

(For a good time google image search “International Male Catalogue”)
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Why does Edward ALWAYS end up looking like an Insurance salesmen/Real Estate broker/Weatherman/Boringest Person In the World??? How is it possible to make Robert Pattinson look like the dad across the street? Stop trying so hard Wardrobe Dept! We know he’s 107 years old, we’re supposed to be tricking the dumb Forks, WA townspeople not making a neon sign pointing to this guy saying “This guy could be your great grandpa not your son’s classmate!”
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Sorry Alice… Sorry Twimoms but COME ON! Though I feel this latest incarnation of Alice’s hair is probably closeted to how Stephenie describes it, it still looks like she should be loading up orange slices and Capri Suns into the mini van.
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While Emmett was busy modeling for International Male in the 80s, Jasper deciding to make some extra dough moonlighting at the local Chippendale’s club. Doing that face the entire time. Just that face, some cuffs and a g string. All night long. Try not to laugh. When Chippendale’s went belly up because of a Bachlorette party done awry Jasper made the move to modeling heinous man jewelry for Hot Topic. They already have replica Bella saint bracelets, the wedding ring and Alice’s velvet choker (!!!) why not take the next step and offer the small male contingency who loves Twilight some Jasper jewelry? I know what I’m getting The Font and White Yorkie for Christmas! Terrible  jewelry!!!

Am I the only one who feels this way about some of these promo’s? Maybe I should be hired by Summit to oversee Brand Synergy! Clearly, I have a knack for what’s happening.

Off to Chipendales!
Themoonisdown

Why do they always look so crazy? Do you guys feel the same way?

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTR, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

25 Commented


What (should have) happened in the Twilight world in 2010

Dear Twilight,

Since it’s that time of year when we start to wrap up 2010 and think about 2011, I was thinking about recapping the past year of Twilight. But then I thought to myself, “Wow… how incredibly boring, UC. Anyone who is a reader of LTT knows exactly what happened in the world of Twilight in 2010 and exactly when it happened (and probably what they were wearing at the time).” So I thought, why don’t I recap what should have happened in 2010? We’re all about the fanatical fantasy here at LTT, so why stop now? I give you: Twilight in 2010: What should have happened!

The 100 Monkeys broke up. As a result the Goodwill received an onslaught of “Monkey bags,” and past concert goers stopped fleeing to their Doctors complaining of ‘bleeding ears”

Kellan came out of the closet. Then went to Christian Gay camp & learned how to resist the urge. Then was caught at the Eco-lodge with a man. Coincidentally it was his counselor from Christian Gay camp.

Swiftner became a bigger celeb couple than Robsten. A Karate video was produced to a country music soundtrack, selling more than Justin Bieber’s latest album. A pre-teen war ensued. A lot of Jonas Brothers sleeping bags were destroyed. I think. Do tweens still like the JoBros?

BigDaddy realized that the Olive Garden is much better when UC & Moon are there to share his breadsticks. TWSS.

Midnight Sun was finished and as a result, for a full 12 hours, not a woman over the age of 10 was seen in public.

The media & public realized Robsten are a really boring couple (Is it “Robsten are?” or “Robsten is”? Is this in the dictionary somewhere? “How do you properly formulate a sentence using the plural form of Robsten?” Does anyone know? Do you think Summit knows? Do you think they have a guy in their office just to grammatically correct all the “Robsten” sentences they write? Most importantly, how does the CEO address Robsten when he makes photo-shopped manips of the two of them to send to his wife on humpday?

“TwiPorn” and “RobPorn” went back to their original meanings: Pictures of Twilight male characters doing chores around the house. Much more boring, much more safe for work, plus you feel better about yourself after seeing Peter Fach vacuuming instead of opening an email attachment to see Kellan holding a huge scholong with the caption “Bite this.”

Catherine Hardwicke made a movie that looked nothing like Twilight

DILF mustard pants chris weitz

These pants will be EVERYWHERE this spring

Chris Weitz showed up in public again to introduce his men’s fashion line called “DILF,” featuring a limited edition mustard-colored pant

Rob’s head was not photo-shopped onto the bodies of any men who also do gay porn.

Stephenie called Pancho “Nacho” in public. Coincidentally they were eating Mexican at the time.

Someone finally admitted visiting Forks is actually kinda boring.

Ashley Greene hooked up with Ian Somerhalder reminding us that what she does best is sleep with men we could never get and bringing more pretty into our lives & giving us (more) excuses to write about Ian.

I mean, is it just me or was 2010 a pretty boring year for the cast? We had a little Swiftner. I think Nikki Reed probably slept with a douche bag. Kellan hooked up with Anna-Lynne again. Jackson fell in love with me, the Twilight Superfan, in Philadelphia & Boo-Boo Stewart’s voice dropped 3 whole notes, but I think that’s it. No one even cares about Ashley & Joe Jonas. Catherine barely tried to remind us that she created Robsten. For as much shit as he talked on Twi before he got the Eclipse directing gig, David Slade turned out to be really boring. Solomon Trimble’s life is kinda too sad to even make fun of anymore, and Chris Hansen and Boo-Boo Stewart jokes just aren’t as funny as they were with Taylor Lautner. Come on Twilight in 2011, you BETTER give us SOMETHING good!

Love,
UnintendedChoice

What did I miss? What else (should have) happened in the world of Twilight in 2010!?

Oh- We don’t want to forget to tell you, starting January 3rd the Biggest Loser challenge on the Forum (renamed “Resolutionary Challenge 2011″) is kicking off: Make sure you join everyone if you’re looking for fun, encouragement & healthy living in 2011!!! Resolutionary Challenge 2011

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTR, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

53 Commented


Twilight Rumors

Not a rumor- a dream

Dear Gossip hounds,

A few weeks back I got a frantic IM chat from a friend saying BREAKING NEWS: The Twilight saga ends on 11/16/2012. My immediate thought was, “Breaking? Didn’t that break months ago?” And as I thought more about it…. I don’t know. I definitely knew the Twilight Saga was wrapping in November of 2012- or maybe that was a rumor I heard once. Orrrr maybe someone in the know told me. Maybe Stephenie Meyer wrote it on a slip of paper & passed it to us under the table at the interview and we were like, “Seriously? We ask you for the Robsten audition tape so we can burn it and you give us this?” or maybe I actually didn’t know that date and just assumed that to be the case? Because that’s what Harry Potter did (and Summit realizes they should copy them since they’re kinda successful) or I’m just way too involved in this fandom that I have a sense about these kind of things. I get a tingly feeling & just know the Twi-future. Call me Alice.

Then I got to thinking- I don’t know what’s real, rumor or secretive anymore. I mean, IS it public knowledge that Ashley Greene & Joe Jonas are together? Or is that just still a rumor circulating among the gossip rags? And is it actually true or do I just want it to be true- a former Disney star with a purity ring giving it up to an up-and-coming star too beautiful to be already desperate enough to date someone born in the 90s (who just yesterday turned old enough to legally knock back a few shots before she shows him what’s underneath that painted on bathing suit)  And don’t even get me started on all the rumors we’ve been told about different Twi cast members being gay. (Some obvious, some not so obvious, some that we spent an entire weekend laughing over until we decided it couldn’t be true- or wait, could it!? Sorry- mums the word!) I mean unless it’s Rob- does anyone honestly really care? Well, maybe we’d care if we found out Taylor was too… because that would make so much sense.

So I started thinking about all the rumors I’ve heard over the past almost 2 years and I came up with quite a list…. mostly about Robsten… and people Ashley may or may not have slept with… Did I miss anything?

  • Why would you cheat on me? Do I look special or something?

    Rob & Nikki are together

  • Rob & Kristen are hooking up behind Oregano’s back
  • Kristen & Nikki are more than friends (I started that one, thank you very much)
  • Nikki sold out Rob & Kristen
  • Kristen is pregnant
  • Ashley’s hooked up with Kellan
  • Ashley’s hooked up with Jackson
  • Ashley’s dating Jared from Kings of Leon (and assumingly has hooked up with him)
  • Rob & Kristen are together
  • Rob & Kristen are no longer together
  • Rob & Kristen- BACK ON
  • No one likes Nikki Reed
  • Jackson hooks up with anyone & everyone
  • Rob & Kristen like to hold hands
  • Kellan is sticking his tongue down that Anna girl’s throat
  • Taylor is with Taylor Swift
  • Taylor is gay
  • Justin Chon is gay
  • David Slade is gay
  • People still don’t like Nikki Reed. And possibly don’t like Elizabeth Reeser either

    Why don't people like me!?

  • Peter & Jennie are swingers
  • Twi (male) cast member in Vancouver put ad in Craig’s list for Asian male companionship
  • Big Daddy Lautner wears a fat suit (he’s actually really in shape)
  • Chris Hansen likes little boys
  • Nikki Reed started a blog so that people like her
  • A cat will play Edward Cullen in Breaking Dawn parts 1 & 2
  • Buttcrack Santa: What does he really do with those little bottles?
  • UnintendedChoice to replace Kristen Stewart as Bella in Breaking Dawn Parts 1 & 2 (for this rumor to be true the Edward Cullen played by a cat is not true)
  • Rob & Kristen open mouth kiss before heading into house parties where dirty men’s sweatpants are considered appropriate attire.

Okay so maybe I took some creative liberties on a few rumors… but most of them I’ve honestly heard at one time or another… So all that to say, this is what I have to say about the BREAKING NEWS about Breaking Dawn Part 2 that I may or may not have already known:

“Holy Shit. I seriously have to talk about this every day for another effing 2 and 1/2 years?”

Hold me,

UnintendedChoice

Beg all you want, some rumors stay with me- but seriously… what have you heard that came true or was proved wrong? Any good rumors circulating out there right now? Was there an immaculate conception of the Robsten baby by the open mouth house party kiss? Fingers crossed!

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTR, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

70 Commented


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