Twilight has the hottest cast

Dear very understanding LTTers,

You know when you have one of those nights as a vampire blogger when you know you’re going to have a late night dinner with friends, so you prepare ahead and draft up a quick idea of a great “Twilosophy” for the next morning, send a quick e-mail off to a group of vampire experts to consult for ideas & funny one-liners for the post you’ll work on when you come back from the late night dinner, no matter what time of night it is? Have you been there? Did you also forget to consider the amount of wine you’d consume at said late night dinner?

What does one do in this case when you get home after consuming 7 bottles of wine between 6 friends in 3 hours and the draft you so wonderfully started writing before you left for the dinner apparently isn’t as great as you’d hoped and only contains 3 run-on sentences and a rant about Rob Pattinson needing to come out of hiding?

Panic. That’s what you do.

Until you remember that you saved a very special post for the very special day when you would make a very special move and dance in the kitchen of your friend’s home to Lady Gaga while singing into an empty bottle of wine while being swung around by your friend Ryan who is declaring, not so subtly, “UC- can you see the Unicorns? [he means real unicorns] Do you want to ride a unicorn!? Rob Pattison has the head of a unicorn. Look- it’s Rob Pattison with a unicorn head. And he is biting pillows.” [True story. All of it.] To all of you girls in the Rob’s Flat Chat over on The Forum, you saved my ass with your amazing Twi-Cast Porn.

Twilight has the hottest cast, and you girls made them so much hotter!

Enjoy these while I enjoy my hangover,
UnintendedChoice

funash

sexhair copy

sexyangela copy

Many More after the jump! Continue…

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Twilight Twitterers

Dear Twitter,

Twilight has taken over your world. Seriously. I’m a social networking whore and have had Twitter since the beginning of Twitter-time when it sucked and was wayyy boring, so seeing it BLOW UP in the last year has been insane. And I think it has a lot to do with the Twilight saga. Even when we first started tweeting for our blogs (Letter2Twilight) it was kinda boring. We’d tweet about a new post, check out tweets from other blogs & media sites we follow and occasionally have some interaction with a follower, but now? Full-blown conversations are had on Twitter (yeah, you thought having a 140 character limitation would prevent that!) People spend hours upon hours in the twitterverse- and trends can be manipulated and are… often. (FYI- it was not a natural occurrence that SamBradley became a trending topic!)

You can thank (or blame) the Twilight world for this.  I bet, in a months time, we see 5 Twilight-related words as ‘trends.’ The Twilight fanbase is p-o-w-e-r-f-u-l.

And now, almost the whole Twilight cast is on Twitter.  I love when celebs tweet because it makes them more “real,” and kinda approachable (even though most probably turn off the option of reading the @replies from people they don’t follow) I was perusing the twitter accounts of the cast, and I realized you can learn a lot about people based on what they tweet. Stuff like: Jamie Campbell Bower is on vaca, has a blackberry and clearly drunk tweets. And Anna Kendrick is apparently not only very new to Twitter, but also to the world wide web, because she tweeted that she just found out that Bon Iver was going to be on the New Moon soundtrack- old news! and Justin Chon I don’t really get. Last I checked he was an actor who has had some small roles here in there, but- is he famouser than I realize?  The kid goes EVERYWHERE- Some days it’s “In Hawaii.” Then “In Paris.” “In London” etc. etc. etc. Traveling like that costs a lot of money, and last I checked small roles pay shockingly little!

Billy Burke slays me. I dunno what the freak he’s talking about most of the time:

Went AWOL again for a couple days. Got lost in the woods and made really good friends with some toothless banjo players. Don’t worry…

my virginity is still in tact.

I wonder how long it will take for it to come out that RPatz and I are dating. Apparently I’m completely captivated by him.

hmm, i see the burning question is already up on the Lexicon. the little hairy monster does indeed have a life of its own. and yes its REAL

Seriously, read his tweets- he’s hilarious and I can only assume quite often drunk tweeting. Love that his publicist clearly has bigger clients that he/she’s worried about and hasn’t noticed yet that Billy sometimes says stuff any PR person would freak out about.

So I’m just writing to say ‘you’re welcome’ on behalf of all Twilight fans. I’ve checked- and I’m not sure there is another “fandom” that uses Twitter the way the Twilight world does. We’re so happy to help you by using your free app while you sit in an office with your millions in venture capitalist money and try to figure out how to make a profit!

You’re welcome,
UnintendedChoice

Do you ‘tweet?’ Do you feel like following celebs makes them seem more ‘real?’ Who else do you follow besides Twi people? And seriously- have YOU seen other ‘fandom’ groups on Twitter to the extend the Twi-world is!?

All the Twilight twitterers after the jump Continue…

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Drunk texts, drunk dialing, drunk emails all about Twilight!

Paintings required

Paintings required

Dear LTT-ers,

You know that feeling, waking up the day after a particuarly crazy drunk fest and not quite rememebering how it all ended. Then you check your celly and realize you drunk dialed every ex you had in the last 5 years and left 10 minute messages about god knows what, then texted your Dad (accidently) about how eff-able that guy you just met is and then you realize you’re not wearing any pants and you’re on your porch. Trust we’ve all been there. And if you haven’t, well… what are you waiting for?

I think that may have happened to one of our dear readers because yesterday I checked our LTT email and read this gem which was clearly written after one too many gin and tonics at the Cat & Fiddle…

Heyheyy,, how much do you think they would charqqe to appear at a party?
 
Andd,, whenn aree KStew,, RPatzz,, andd TLaut makinqq ann aperance,, inn southh florida??
<3
Drunk in South Florida (this is what I would imagine he/she would sign this if they hadn’t passed out before hitting send)

This could be YOU!

This could be YOU!

Well dear heart either your keyboard is sticky from all those gin and tonics or you are the victim of drunk emailing gone wrong. But I like where your head’s at so let’s explore this one shall we… How much do I think they would charge for an appearence? Well probably depends on which star you’re wanting to get at your party. Let me break down what I think each one would “cost”

Kellan – he seems like a Twi-whore going to all these Twiconventions so I’m gonna guess, a coach ticket to your nearest airport, a corner room at the nearest Holiday Inn, 100 bucks “mad money,” and his choice of Twihards to be available after his check in at the hotel. What they do after depends on their contracts. If you want Kellan to return I suggest one dress up like a naughty Sunday School teacher. At least that’s what I hear he likes.

Jackson – a spare corner in the venue for 100 Monkeys to set up. Cause obviously his contract includes a clause that they will play at the closest dive bar or AT your event. He also requested that you hand wash the bananager’s costume, cause trust after a 3 month tour of the east coast’s finest shit holes that thing smells like death.

Ashley – 30k. She ain’t stupid and she’s got an open line of credit at Barneys. Duh.

Nikki – Who?

Peter – A supply of ugly shirts by Affliction set up near his autograph table, a video camera so he can record his friend that no one care about, dancing in a bikini and room enough in the parking lot to park the RV. Oh and when you introduce him you must preface it with: “Mike Dexter is a GOD!”

Gil Birmingham – Bus fare to the event, Greyhound if they travel to your town. And the finest assortment of 40year old+ moms who are just there to “chaperone” their daughters at the event. Right, ladies, RIGHT.

Taylor – I spoke with Big Daddy Lautner and this is what he said it would take to get Taylor at your party: 100 dollar gift card to McDonalds, one of those Dominoes Pizza Bread Bowls in the hotel toom upon check in and a supply of new Polo button up shirts, size XXXL. Hey, don’t ask me that’s what Big Daddy said Taylor needs!

Kristen- You’re joking right? She’d give you the ‘bitch please’ stare through the phone and then hang up on your ass for being so stupid. But maybe if you send her some “herbal treats” before you call it might help the pitch.

Rob- His only request is that Moon be present, ready, willing and able to help him with his every need. Oh and maybe a baseball cap from your local tourist shop. Anything with a lobster, flower or whatever represents South Florida. He loves those free hats.

As for your other question, When will Rob, KStew and Taylor make an appearence in South Florida? My guess is the 10th of never… or maybe after you do the above.

Good luck Drunk in South Florida!!

hangover6Moving on… A while ago we featured one of my favorite sites Texts from Last Night on a Monday Funnies post. Texts from Last Night which is a site where people submit funny/inapporpriate texts they’ve receieved usually sent when people were of questionable sobriety. Well they’re at it again because recently JodieO alerted us to a new Twilight related Text that was posted.

http://www.textsfromlastnight.com/view/47253

So JodieO has this to say…

“Have you guys heard of the website www.textsfromlastnight.com ?  If not, it’s just a site where you send in strange or funny texts.  I consider myself fairly worldly, but the more I read it, the more impressed I am at how drunk and slutty some people can be.  Anyway, There was one about Rob that caught my eye: http://www.textsfromlastnight.com/view/47253
 
(706): i just met rob pattinson in italy. he’s so stupid, i feel like i would have to say “your penis goes here!”
 
While I would be surprised to learn that he really is stupid, it still wouldn’t be a deal-breaker for me.
 
Drawing a map, just in case!
 
JodieO

Amen JodieO AMEN! I’m getting mine printed up and lamenated for when Rob comes back to me in LA. You can never be too prepared!

FYI we LOVE getting these emails! Please keep them coming oh and add our email to your phone for the next time just such on occasion arises. And by occasion I mean every day after 6! Email us letterstotwilight at gmail dot com!

Happy Monday!
Themoonisdown

Hop on over to Letters to Rob!
Drunk post in the forum! We don’t mind!

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Wanna Tapa Vampa

Dear members of Wanna Tapa Vampa,

We have a name! Our fake-sorority where we will do things like be fake-lesbians and start fake-fights with other Twilight Sororities is called Wanna Tapa Vampa. This name won 30% of the vote with The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pattinson Pants coming in at a close 2nd.  Thank you to JENA for this amazing name suggestion.

As our first order of business with our fake soririty, we have our PORN-OFF. Yes, quite similar to a bake-off, we have collected 5 of the best Twi-Porn entries from both The Twilight Sisterhood & Wanna Tapa Vampa.  In no particular order & in no way giving away WHICH sorority entered what, here are the 10 entries! Vote for your favorite at the end:

hangover6

Rob: Hangover

Rob: Breakfast

Rob: Breakfast

See the rest and vote after the jump! Continue…

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Speculation Thursday – Moon makes the case for Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart: NOT together!

We're actors

We’re actors

Dear Kristen and Rob-

Last week my pal UC put on a brave face, sucked up her pride and posted the Speculation Thursday (though it was on Wednesday) post that she thought you may be together. As much as it pained both of us to see that in writing, we had to present the Pro Robsten side of the argument. But never fear, I am here with this week’s Speculation Thursday (on Thursday!) where I’m going to present the Non Robsten side! Cause I look at you two and I’m like, they CANNOT be together, the stoner and the nerd? No way.

If you’ll indulge me I’d like to treat this as a trial, and court is now in session*! The honorable Stephenie Meyer proceeding. Today we will be hearing the case of:

Robsten vs NonRobsten, in the court of public opinion

Opening statement:
Much has been said and speculated about you two over the last few weeks and now having some time to gather evidence and look at the facts I think we can be certain about a few things: Kristen and Oregano are not together and Kristen and Rob are in fact, NOT together. Snogged and hooked up? Sure! But together? No! I ask that the jury keep an open mind as we speculate our way through another Thursday.

Enter into the court room the Evidence…

 

01. The Charlie Hotel / The Morning After – UC cited this story and these pictures as her main turning point. But I have a different take on this much bally-hooed “secret goodbye photos” and “secret rendezvous hotel bungalows” nonsense… I did some research too on The Charlie and there are multiple bungalows in which bungalows also have multiple rooms! Amazing how this works, huh? It’s not uncommon for stars to get ready for awards shows in hotel rooms, Summit’s footing the bill, why not? And you’ve got the room paid for for the night, might as well come back and party after the show, right? I know where you’re going to go with this: “but Moon they were in the SAME bungalow! Ron, the underpaid dude at the front desk, told the shady paparazzo from X17 who palmed him a 50 it was true.” Riiiight. And, if I even believe that they were in the same bungalow, my research tells me that again, SURPRISE, there are bungalows with more than one room in them. I’ve stayed in rooms with guy friends, it’s totally possible. And who knows maybe she was wasted drunk from the dinner beforehand when they decided to go back and party? Maybe they smoked a bol and she passed out on that cute striped chair from the pictures of The Charlie. And then the next day her Mom came to pick up her hung over self and hug Rob for being such a good guy and looking out for poor little Kristen. And no kiss was ever photographed.

Follow the cut to hear the rest of the case!!! (Seriously do it!)
Continue…

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