The day I realized there are flaws in Breaking Dawn Part 2

Update: Stephenie Addressed the BD Part 2 Ending on her blog (coincidence, huh?)

While we’ve only spent time gushing over BD part 2 because we thought it was a pretty darn perfect end to a pretty darn perfect saga (I mean…. except for all the things we’ve complained about over the past 4 years…) we have to share a recent letter we got because she’s NOT the only one who noticed this imperfection. This is hard though… I mean complaining about Twilight after all the #RIPTwilight we’ve gone through? Isn’t that like bad-mouthing grandpa soon after his funeral? Oh well, forgive us Grandpa (aka Stephenie & Bill & Buttcrack Santa) Also this contains SPOILERS which at this point if the ending hasn’t been spoiled for you, you must have a much fuller life than I….

Dear Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 2,

So I’ve started thinking about other aspects of the movie, now that I’m starting to relax and breathe again after that shock of the sight of Carlisle beheaded (oh, right, SPOILER ALERT…. how long until you don’t need to say that any longer? A week? A month? Until it’s out of theaters?).

Breaking Dawn battle scene

SPOILER ALERT: This happens

Anyway, earlier today something dawned on me (albeit, I’m a little disappointed in myself for not realizing this sooner, but, you know, Carlisle, Seth, Jasper DEAD… yeah, that’s a lot to get past) and I’ve decided that we need to sit down and have a chat about Alice. Specifically her visions.

But first, let me get something straight; Alice can’t see werewolves… right? And… Alice can’t see Nessie… correct? And this is true, not just in the books, but in the movies, right?

Yeah. I thought so.

So, why do I ask? Well, I was wondering how is it that Alice would see things about Jacob and Renesmee. Like the fact that they would need passports?

Okay, okay, that one I can see you talking your way out of that it was just a precaution, that she didn’t know, but knew that she had to give the best possible chance of Nessie surviving even if the rest of them were doomed and it was just a slim chance, she was still going to take it. Fine.

alice-jasper

“Are you turned on?” “Yeah… I can see the wolves now…!”

But then, tell me, how did Alice see Jacob and Nessie running away and Jacob slaughtering that vamp chasing them without slowing down his full-on sprint if she can’t see either of them? Because that was part of her vision Aro saw. Or if you’re going to argue that we (the audience) wouldn’t have believed that they would have been able to flee un-chased, or that it made for good dramatic effect and suspense (and then relief knowing they got away safely). Fine.

But how did Alice see the whole fight to Aro’s death if the wolves were there? Didn’t the wolves involvement with the fight in Eclipse against the newborns cause her to go blind? Wouldn’t that mean that Alice wouldn’t have been able to see anything about the standoff with the Volturi the moment that the wolves were involved? Or did Alice work on her ability to see around her blind spots and get really good at it. But then, how did she see Seth dying? Or Leah?

Or was there something that happened when Nessie was born that no longer blinded Alice? Or maybe the weremagic of Jacob imprinting on Renesmee unclouded her vision of both werewolves and half-vamps? Hallelujah! Alice is cured! The link was made between wolf human and vamp and now she could see them all. Maybe it was supposed to have made the movie, but was cut out during editing and was therefore never explained to us that in the movie version, Alice can now see those half-breeds.

That has to be it, because how else could Alice have seen that vision of Edward, Bella, Jacob and Renesmee all together after little Nessie is “all growed up”, assuring Edward know that his whole family would have a happily ever after?

Oh, I’m not complaining. I still think the twist was pure genius and wouldn’t have you change it, nor would I take back the blissfully happy vision Alice has at the end of the film of the 4 of them, the picture of a perfect, happy family.

I’m simply curious.

Mind still blown from BDII,
TeamJacobEdward

Hmmm….. since I’m the world’s worst Twilight fan, did Stephenie ever address how Alice knew Nessie & Jake would need passports in the book? Do we know HOW Alice can suddenly see things where the wolves are involved? Or is this just the magic of Hollywood (and prayers from Stephenie that we all forget about that teeny tiny detail from the books?)

Do you care? Does it matter to you?

PS: In case you wonder what I think… I don’t care. I want to be entertained by a story I love and characters I love. And I was!)

PPS: Around the Thanksgiving table when we were asked what we were thankful for, #1 I said Mr. Choice for putting up with me & vampires for 4 years. #2 I said Moon because she’s the world’s best Moon and #3 I said you. Yes you. I told my Grandpa and everything…. xo UC

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Introducing the New Holy Trinity! Breaking Dawn Pt. 2 Premiere

Dear Old Holy Trinity-

Move over Taylor and Kristen, there’s a new trinity in town… aka these are the videos UC chose to edit first.

Rob, Mike Welch (ROOOBBB!!) and Melissa Rosenberg. Yup, UC must have a thing for Mike Welch and Melly Rosenberg because she totally overlooked people like Jackson Rathbone and Kellan Lutz for… MIKE.WELCH. Yea, I don’t know either y’all but considering last year’s Mike Welch moment I’m surprised he even gave us a second chance much less played along with our dumb game. Whatta sport that guy!


Mike Welch. Yea, we totally asked him to act the fool and he was more than willing. And yes, this Arizona girl is likin’ da rain.


And then Melissa Rosenberg became just like our favorite step-aunt in this video.
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And well there’s really no need for introduction to this ROBERT PATTINSON video because there are no words necessary because as you all know, this has never happened before. Special hugs to Matt and Ryan for hooking us up. WAAAAY up.

We’re sorry Taylor and Kristen but I’m sure you understand… you never would have delivered famous Twilight movie lines in Mike Welch’s voice or introduced us to your husband or told us you had to pee. So as you can see it had to be done. You’ll understand someday, when you’re older.

Who else has moved up on our list of favorites? Who will be the new Big Daddy (we miss you!)? Who will be the next Buttcrack Santa? Only time and Goldfish Cracker-fueled midnight editing sessions will tell.

Moon and UC

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A sincere (about 97%) letter to Taylor Lautner

Dear Taylor,

Can I do a thing we never do with you? No no no not take you down to Chris Hansen’s office & turn ourselves in. I mean talk to you girl to man for a sec without bringing up Olive Garden [except to say that Mr. Choice went there last week because he was wooed by their “two entrees for $12.95″ special and was pretty disappointed to learn that the Tuscan Training every chef goes through is actually a conference room rented in a strip mall off a highway in Italy that a regional manager gets to go to every 5 years.] And I won’t even bring up Big Daddy Lautner (but where ARE you Daniel?)

Remember when you looked like this?

and sounded like Kermit the frog when you said “Scary Story?”

Well….. something changed. You almost lost your job. And then you fought to earn your place. Armed with little baggies of meat

And did you ever.

The awkward kid with the boy voice & karate-chop moves turned into a ripped man with terribly guido-esque gelled hair. (Who seems to still hold on to those Karate Chop moves…)

But it was a start. After the baggies of body enhancing drugs meat did their thing & you solidified your role as THE Jacob Black, you continued to blossom.

You started drinking more water without your shirt:

And now you wear shirts with polarizing messages:

(pretty sure that’s photoshopped FYI)

And you landed the cover of GQ

Probably the first virgin ever to do so

You could’ve looked like this:

But instead you look like this:

 

TAYLOR WITH A WOLF! I GET IT!

You know you’ve made it when you are the butt of everyone’s joke:

And someone carves the fat version of you into a pumpkin:

What I’m trying to say is, Taylor: I’m glad you ate those baggies of meat-roids. I’m glad you fought for your right to be dumped by the girl you love and fall in love with her half-human child when it was still a baby. I’m glad you mentioned liking the Olive Garden one time so that we could make it out to be the only place you ever eat (it is, right?) And I’m glad your dad could beat up any Edward-Cullen sized guy who tried to steal the girl you love in real life. All while eating the entire stock of his local McDonald’s breakfast menu. You did it. You ARE Jacob Black. And I’m not sure I ever told you I thought so. I’m not sure I ever really admitted it until now.

Warm fuzzies forever,
UnintendedChoice

Something I learned while doing research for something other than pictures of Taylor & Olive Garden is that there are Jacob & Bella Fan Vids:

Try not to cry during this one kids.. and cry over the emotion, not just his terrible DEP-gel filled hair:

When did you realize Taylor WAS Jacob Black?

Thanks to our pals at Adventures in Twilighting for finding that fat Taylor pumpkin! Hilarious

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New Faces Friday: MacKenzie Foy

YO YO YO LTT,

You thought we forgot to feature MacKenzie Foy for New Faces Friday, didn’t you? Well, we didn’t.

But we already featured her interview back in July, so hop on over to that old post to read our sit-down with MacKenzie the adorable: LTT and friends interview MacKenzie Foy.

Guys do you know what is almost live? That’s Normal. That’s right- we didn’t forget about that either (We have more lives these days than we used to so we’re behind on most except for drooling over Damon on Vampire Diaries. Well, UC, that is) But seriously: GET EXCITED. We are. That’s Normal will officially launch 11/1.

Oh and try not to be creeped out by this. You’re welcome:

Love,

UC

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New Faces Fridays: Rami Malek- AKA HOTTIE MCHOTTIE

Dear Rami,

Dayyuuummm. (Sidenote: sometimes when I write things like “Hottie McHottie” and “Dayummmm” I realize how much I objectify men online. And think it’s okay because I don’t really do it (as much) in real life. But then I realize #thatsnormal and that’s NOT normal to question it. Back to today’s letter…)

The Twilight saga is the gift that keeps giving– we get a new hottie with EVERY MOVIE.

1. In Twilight there was Edward Cullen who won us over with his Ray-bans and amazing apple-catching skills

2. In New Moon there was The Entire Wolfpack (which, we have to confess, included Jacob Black who made us feel less icky about his age (was he legal then? I completely forget) by distracting us with his huge muscles.)

3. In Eclipse there was Riley who we really think died way too soon & we’d love to see him come back in a flashback scene or a new supernatural “Vamp Raised from the Dead” type of character so we can stare at him some more.. oh heyyyy.

4. In The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part I we had….. well, since my main memories focus on lots of Edward & Bella sex, I’d have to say we have the return of hot Edward Cullen. Gone were the tweed jackets & wurthers in his pockets. No more Edward Cullen Insurance salesman. He even said good-bye to his hipster youth wearing Members-Only jackets & moved onto a more mature look. And we were okay with that!

5. And now with The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part II we have YOU– Benjamin. Coming at us with your  exotic looks– adding a little flavor to the cast of white boys and slightly tanner white boys. (But shout out to you other new hotties: Lee Pace, JD Pardo, and all the ones I’m going to get in trouble for forgetting (too tired to pull up imdb right now)

We got to chat with you, Rami Malek, for another round of “New Faces Fridays” a couple weeks ago. Sadly Moon didn’t get a chance to ask if you saw her waving at you when she ran into at her local Target at LA, so we’ll ask you here– DID YOU SEE MOON? She was the one with the paparazzi lens and a copy of the book “How to capture stars doing mundane daily tasks.” You should’ve said “hey!”

Today Twilight Moms is hosting this interview with Rami Malek, but we are previewing a few questions to get you PSYCHED. (We know you are):

Fansite interview with Rami Malek

Have you gotten to see any of your scenes on film yet- and if so what you thought  of the special effects?

“Great question I had an ADR* session, I’m sure you guys are familiar with that right?? (ADR stands for Automated Dialog Replacement)  So I got to see some of the temporary effects they weren’t quite done but as far as I was concerned they were good enough for me- they really looked brilliant-vibrant and felt very real- I was happy to see that because there were points that I was concerned about- I’m always concerned watching a movie- when something looks as if it was developed from a computer and you can see when it looks generated by a computer it really takes one out of the film so I was happy to see that it really just looks as if I was doing these in reality”

Stephenie has recently released the “The Twilight Saga: The Official Illustrated Guide” which had a huge backstory between the Egyptian coven and I know we’ve already sampled a little bit of what we are going to see from you-did we get any of that feud with the Volturi history from you guys?

“Well after reading the novel I came to the conclusion that there was going to be a lot of work I had to do because there wasn’t that much said in her novel- so I came up with a lot of ideas and Angela who plays Tia came up with a lot of ideas and we shared them over the course of filming- and when we met Stephenie she was able to give us a real concrete backstory which wasn’t far off from the things that we had created on our own. It was a very special feeling to have that acknowledgement from her that we were on the right track with her story from things that we were coming up with from our own crazy imagination”

Zoom on over in whichever wheels are most convenient for your lifestyle & read the entire interview over at Twilight Moms!

Love,
UnintendedChoice & theMoonisDown

OH HEY– Moon is back! Moon is back from Africa!  More Twilight fun to continue next week (and we heard your pleas! The snark will return!)

[Apple Photo Source]

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