Alice & Jasper – Missed opportunity?

Oh swoon

Dear Jackson and Ashley (and sorta to Jasper and Alice by proxy),

Romeo and Juliet, Ozzy and Harriet, Jay Z and Beyonce, Burt and Ernie, Peanut Butter and Jelly, UC and Moon, Ebony and Ivory. All great couples in history, right? They are M.F.E.O. (made for each other, duh!) as Jessica from Sleepless in Seattle would say. And I feel like it might be time to add Jasper and Alice to that list.

In Eclipse you stole every scene you were in. The banter and sly looks, the half smiles, the eyes, the “ma’m’s.” It was all so golden. As we saw the flashbacks from Rosalie’s life and then Jasper’s, I was holding my breath and saying a prayer to my impromptu alter of David Slade I had erected in our aisle of the movie theater, hoping that he loved us enough to give me what I hadn’t even dreamt of hoping for: The Jasper and Alice meeting in the diner. As Jasper tells Bella about his human life, we see it play out in front of us: riding horses, lion’s mane hair under a cowboy hat, confederate army and then trickery from Maria. Then Alice approaches and Jasper relays how he walked into the diner and met Alice who told him she had been waiting for him. I just knew it would be the perfect moment to drop in a quick glimpse of what that looked life. Sadly, my hopes were too high because we got no such flashback.

So not feeling the hope in this wig

We did, however, get one of the best moments of the movie between you two as Alice tells Jasper he kept her waiting and Jasper with that (at times questionable) drawl replies “sorry to have kept you waiting, ma’m” and then the little kiss. I just melted into the seat. I loved that is panned to Bella who was looking on and then glanced away and smiled to herself. I thought that was a great little moment from Kristen that capped one of my favorite scenes.

But I’m still sad we didn’t get the catch a glimpse of the epic first meeting of Jasper and Alice. It’s no secret I’m a big Jasper/Alice fan and want nothing more than for Stephenie Meyer to take a break and write me the untold Jasper/Alice story before they met the Cullens. Who needs that crap, Midnight Sun, that NO ONE wants finished when we could have Jasper/Alice radness to read? DO IT STEPHENIE!! Or DON’T DO IT STEPHENIE if that helps you out more.

Such a missed opportunity to make this movie even better and to give us Jashley whores a little something to salivate over. Every time Jasper and Alice were on screen everyone in the audience sighed and oh-ed and aw-ed over them, so I KNOW I’m not the only would who would have jumped out of their seat for this moment to happen. BUUUTTT this just means more opportunity for it to be included in Breaking Dawn (1 or 2)!!! And with that, as Jasper said “I felt hope.”

Don’t keep me waiting,
Themoonisdown

Did you feel the same way? Did everyone around you sigh and die everytime Jasper and Alice had a moment? Died. So great. What other moments do you wish would have made the final cut?

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Imma enter a Twilight contest

Dear country music lovers, Twilight fans, lovers of contests & closet rappers,

Who can forget the night of September 13, 2009 when we all crowded around our TVs in fear of what Rob would show up wearing, wondering if Ash would have a nip slip on the red carpet, pondering if Kristen’s hair could possible look any worse than at ComicCon and hoping that Taylor wouldn’t charm us so much that we really consider moving to Georgia? And then, our hearts skipped a couple beats as said underage boy in a man’s suit stepped on stage and this happened:

[vodpod id=ExternalVideo.878202&w=425&h=350&fv=]

Congrats Kanye, you’ve again proved to be a douche.

But like everything in pop-culture, Kanye’s a-hole move quickly became a meme and provided us with countless LOLs as “KanyeGate” took over the radio, TV, news reports and interwebs.  It all came to a head when I discovered the Kanye Gate tumblr account, which, of course, had Twilight/Kanye mashups!

trueblood

immacathy

imma

Seriously? Photoshopping a little Kanye image with Twilight-related stuff? That looks like SO much fun & RIGHT up my alley. So I gave it a shot (after the jump) Continue…

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New Moon Trailer – Breaking it Down! And ordering a Sleep Number Bed

Dear LTT-ers,

You know one of our favorite things to do is ramble on about Twilight and Rob and have extended chats about everything in the twi-world which we dubbed “Breaking it down Vanity Fair style” in homage to our very first chat of this nature that spurred the creation of this blog. SOOOO when the new trailer came out Sunday night and after many folks requested we break it down, here we are BREAKIN’ IT DOWN for you! And as usual it devolves into a chat about something completely different but yet oddly related to Twilight. So since this is a loooong one… grab a cocktail (or a diet coke) and settle in as UC, Calli and I break this shiz down!

UGGGGhhh uuhhh AHHH!!
Themoonisdown


(refresh yo memory… as if you need it)

bellwaitwhat

Wait, Carlisle is HOW old??

The one where Bella second guesses this whole thing…
Moon:
ok burning daylight, lets hit it
Moon: i love that because cathy was so fail and didn’t include some of the volturi legend they have to do all this backtracking… “the volturi?! who’s that?! they have LAWS??” Yea you should have known that from the last book Bella.
UC: wasting chris weitz’ precious time
Calliope: she’s all like HOLD UP BACKUP
UC: and while youre at it.. who is buttcrack santa again? This changes EVERYTHING!
Calliope: wtf didn’t you tell me about this LAST TIME
UC: I wouldn’t’ have fallen in love with you had I known about the Volturi! Carlisle is HOW OLD? Dude? I’m crushing on you’re 300something year old dad?
Moon: I’m not sure I wanna date you now Edward, is that Newton kid still down?
Calliope: I bet Edward says.. “Second thoughts bella?” all assholey on her like “TOLD YOU SO”
Calliope: she’s like … hold up… you’ve been celibate for HOW LONG
Moon: HAHAHA FOR THIS?!
UC: wait.. you eat MOUNTAIN LIONS? Ew
Moon: this changes everything! Trailer fades to black. The end
Calliope: yeah though granted, it makes more sense to discuss the volturi now, for the non-readers (all 10 of them) to have movie flow
UC: good job cathy the cougar
Calliope: but seriously. Bella needed this info LAST movie
UC: right… we really do need to worry about the 10 ppl left in the world who haven’t read
Moon: and dont forget they still have to touch on jaspers special power
UC: and they did NOTHING with the Alice story
Calliope: “wait a second,… jasper controls my emotions?!?! WTF edward… i trusted you!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
UC: So it’s Jasper that’s been making me feel that tingly feeling down there? I thought you were skilled!
Moon: so my first unicorn was all a ruse by you and your emotion altering BROTHER?! What kind of sick family is this?!
Calliope: Oh edward… clearly this is his first relationship. Edward is suck a fail boyfriend… just tells her what he wants her to hear.

Wanna see what else we talked about? Hint: Matlock, Mattresses and Afros… YUP follow the cut
Continue…

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The mistakes of Twilight

Dear LTTers,

Thank you so much for your congratulations & sweet words regarding our 10 month anniversary yesterday. We have a confession that we’d like to share in the form of “texts from last night” between Moon & UC:

Text from Moon: “Just wrapped up my ’10 month anniversary/10 things I love about Twi’ post- getting in bed- wouldn’t it be funny if we calculated wrong and our 10 month anniversary is next week?
Text from UC
: “We’d look like the biggest idiots”
Text from Moon:
“Umm…. I just calculated. Can you double check my math”
Text from UC: “Yep. Just double checked.
Happy 9 month anniversary”

Oops. I know we seem perfect, but we’re not. For example, we miss things. Once there was a picture of Big Daddy with a dabble of ketchup down the front of his shirt. We missed an opportunity to photo-shop him in a Heintz ketchup ad. And one time Moon said “I bet it’s hard to be Jacob Black” and I forgot to say “that’s what she said.” It’s hard to be perfect all the time. We try. But we sometimes fail. Even we make mistakes.

So in honor of our 9 month anniversary (yesterday) and to continue our new fond love of making lists, here are 9 mistakes from the Twilight world:

1. The Bandslam & PUSH previews on the Twilight DVD

(that you cannot fast forward through- bastards) Summit thought they were being sneaky, making us watch those previews before we got to see Robward’s beautiful face. Little did they know that I just made copies of the DVD, got rid of the previews and sold them illegally on the black market. In your Face Summit. Just kidding. What I really did was press Play; Go make some popcorn; Pour myself some bubbly; Walk back into the room; Groan that Vanessa Hudgens was STILL on the screen; Go pee; Put on my PJs; Come back. Movie time. In your face, Summit.

Dear Stephenie, This outfit is not hot Love, us

Dear Stephenie, This outfit is not hot Love, us

2. Edward’s taste of music, clothing & bedding in the books

WestFriend: Why did Stephenie make Edward so lame when it comes to music taste. Umm…hi. He hates the 60’s and 70’s? The BEST time for music ever? And he LOVES the 50’s and some of the 80’s? It has bothered me so bad.
Moon
: SMeyer is an enigma. Cause the 60s ruled the music scene. But the real questions are: Why does she make Edward wear sleeveless button ups and have black and gold brocade bedding?? These things I’ve never understood.

3. Including Perry Farrell and Collective Soul on the Soundtrack

Dear Summit,

It’s clear from your marketing that you are unaware that anyone other than 12 to really immature 15 1/2 year olds like the Twilight saga, so why in the world would you force Alexandra Patsavas (who made Death Cab for Cutie & Imogen Heap household names, so I know it wasn’t her doing) to include an old washed up rocker looking for a comeback & a band that no one has thought of since 1995 on the soundtrack?

4. The EW magazine cover that ended the careers of a photographer & editor

brilliantEWcover

I just need one.more.hit. Buy my apple?

And if the photographer & editors weren’t fired, they should’ve been- or maybe even hung. Who told them Twilight was about methed-up teen addicts who sell their last piece of food- an apple- to buy enough meth so they could ceremoniously commit a joint suicide/OD and spend eternity together listening to Collective Soul? EW Fail

Follow the jump for the rest of the mistakes! Continue…

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The tassle’s worth the hassle! Twilight stars graduate

Seniors Rule, underclassmen drool! FORKS SENIORS YALL!!!

Seniors Rule, underclassmen drool! FORKS SENIORS YALL!!!

Dear Graduating Vampires, Humans and I’m sure some of the Werewolves,

We break for the weekend and you all decide to go and graduate on us. I’m a little disappointed I didn’t receive an invitation to commencement but I’ll just assume mine is lost in the mail and head over to Hallmark asap to get you all a bunch of shiz that says “Class of 2009″ that you will eventually find 5 years later when you’re cleaning out our old bedroom at your parents house. Return it NOW for cash. Trust me.

Seeing the caps and gowns and fake diplomas got me thinking about when I graduated and how I loved those cheesy quotes that people used in their commencement speeches, on graduation announcements, and as the class motto so I got to thinking about which quote you guys would choose for your graduation. And here’s what I came up with…

 

Bella Swan - biggest tease

Mike Newton
What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us  (burritos).  ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

Bella Swan
Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do than by the ones you did….  (so TURN me already, Edward!! GEEZ!!) ~Attributed to Mark Twain, unconfirmed

Angela Weber
Wherever you go, no matter what the weather, always bring your own sunshine. (Cause it always freaking rains in freaking Forks, Washington)  ~Anthony J. D’Angelo, The College Blue Book

 

Eric Yorkie
Excellence is not a skill.  It is an attitude  (So CHILLAX!). ~Ralph Marston

Edward Cullen
The important thing is not to stop questioning (But I hope you enjoy disappointment). ~Albert Einstein

Alice Cullen
If you think education is expensive, try ignorance! Manolo Blahniks ~Andy McIntyre

(I know, I know they didn’t graduate the same year, but just go with it…)

 

Rosalie Hale
Education is the best provision for old age. (So it becoming an Vampire)  ~Aristotle

Jasper Hale
There is a good reason they call these ceremonies ‘commencement exercises’. Graduation is not the end, it’s the beginning (trust me, I’ve done this like 50 times) – Orrin Hatch

Emmett Cullen
Do not follow where the path may lead.  Go, instead, where there is no path and leave a trail (but hopefully no scent for any murderous nomadic vampires).  ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

Happy Graduation!

Education is the most powerful weapon which you can use to change the world (so is blogging about Vampires),
Themoonisdown

UC brings the awesome over at Letters to Rob
Sign Edwards yearbook in the forum!

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