Pledging to LTT

Dear LTT Pledges,

The Twilight Sisterhood has been having pledge month this June & we thought of how amazing it would be if we did that here at LTT.

We’re pretty easy-going Sisters, and we only require one task from the following list of initiations to be achieved in order to be accepted into our sorority:

  • Yep, make him take off the monkey costume & run around nude with him

    Yep, make him take off the monkey costume & run around nude with him

    Streak naked at a 100Monkey’s show and get Marty, the bananager, to join you. Yell “JASPER” at the top of your lungs the entire time.

  • Eat only Twilight conversation hearts for breakfast lunch and dinner ’till you’re rushed to the hospital with sudden onset diabetes.
  • Insist that all band aids you receive while AT the hospital be Hot Topic Twilight band aids.
  • Head on over to a neighboring sorority or frat and rip a tree (roots intact) out of the ground while screaming “AS IF YOU COULD FIGHT ME OFF.”
  • Act out chapter 32 of Wide Awake fan fiction with a male friend, at a church pot luck. In a park. Against a tree. (yep, it’s that chapter)
  • Read the mind of the hottest guy at work or school & write down his thoughts in Edward’s calligraphy (And if his thought happens to be “Be Safe”- you’ll get something extra special. Like Sam Bradley’s email address)
  • Run miles around a high school wearing a gray peacoat only stopping when you see a van approaching. Stop it with your hand, even if it’s just pulling into a parking spot, safely.
  • Invite & successfully get Kristen Stewart to join you at a Nascar race where you will ALSO need to have a mullet, like she currently has, and drink Pabst Blue Ribbons until you strip off your clothes and do a ho photoshoot on Dale Jr’s hood (that’s what she said).
  • Buy a Volvo. Drive from New York to Forks, WA in 12 hours or under while making home-made mushroom ravioli (I don’t wanna hear that this is impossible to do while driving. Figure it out)
  • Kill, filet & bread a mountain lion in Harry Clearwater’s famous fish fry (fine- if you can’t find Harry’s fish fry, you can use whatever your local market sells)
Good luck and may the best pledges win!
Love your favorite sisters,
UnintendedChoice & theMoonisDown
Thanks to: Kristen, EastFriend, WestFriend & Moon, for without you I would have to stay up much later
a secret message about how rob will love you forever if you pick our name
Name our sorority: We’re serious. We want a name for our sorority. Even though it’s kinda a pretend sorority. Who cares. Name contest happening NOW. Leave your ideas in the comments. Winner gets automatic entrance into this kinda fake, but sorta real sorority. And first crack at Rob at our first frat/sorority mixer.
a secret message about how rob will love you forever if you pick our name
Introducing: Blurbs from the Forum topic Mods.
We had some weird forum issues this week. Kristin emailed and said this:
Good news is though, my whole gateway 504 issue is resolved! I was apparently riding the techno short bus…now I’m all up to speed and I even get to have recess with the normal kids! yay!
and Calliope, who apparently did not have the same “Gateway 504″ issues with the forum said this:
this is me shaking my head up and down and smiling at you and pretending to have even the slightest effing clue as to what you are talking about while i’m mentally undressing rob.
a secret message about how rob will love you forever if you pick our name
What’s going on in our world? The following:
  • Rob has a question for us over on LTR
  • The Forum is buzzing with activity. Wanna see why? Check it
  • Follow us on Twitter & help us get to 2,000 followers this weekend!
  • Lauren from Lauren’s Bite is hosting a give-away. GO WIN
  • I have a wedgie so far up my butt I’m not sure it’s ever gonna come out (not true- just seeing if anyone reads this far…..crickets….)

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Rating the New Moon Trailer

Dear Twi-hards,

Introducing Moon & UC Grade something. It’s just like Breaking-it Down Vanity Fair Style, but just with us. Sometimes The Quad is busy & this is just easier. Today we grade the New Moon Trailer. Oh, you haven’t seen it? Clearly you’re not a real fan, but we’ll let it slide. Check it out then let us know if you agree with our grade scale:

Love,
UC & Moon

Here’s a fun game. See if you can count how many times we say “Dude”

Moon: Wanna break down the trailer, right now?
UC: Yes. This feels so forced. Like we scheduled sex. 6/1/09 9:00 pm SEX
Moon: Let me close the door (sounds like we’re doing something dirrrrty)
UC: dude i’m drunk. Okay I’m reading. i mean. i’m ready
Moon:  one second let me enlarge this sucker
UC:  that’s what she said

chesttouchEdward & Bella
Moon:  ok so he says “you’re my only reason to stay.. alive.. IF thats what i am”
WHAT?!
UC:  The husband just said “such predictable dialogue” Um, no commentary from you, thank you very much
Moon:  it’s stephenie meyer- everything is predictable.  So…what Edward says doesnt even make sense
UC: “you’re my only reason to stay alive..if that’s what i am.” What does that mean!?
Moon:  WHAT?!
UC:  WHEN is that part?
Moon: It’s in the cullen house. Before the bday party?? Maybe after? Either way that line makes no sense, but he could speak pig latin and i’d listen
UC: “ihay ovelay youhay obray.” It’s kinda sexy.. the way she’s all up on his chest.. with her hand. I’m kinda turned on right now. DAMNIT 3rd glass of wine
Moon:  he could be like “i farted cause i ate a bean buritto” and i’d be like WOW- profound
Moon:  ok not really but ya know. It’s like when someone speaks a different langauge than you and it sounds hot even if they’re asking where the bathroom is. He’s working THAT
UC: He totally is. He’s working that sexy, drool-worthy voice that you know he doens’t have in real life. In between takes he was totally burping Kristen’s name

Rose rocks a hot bitchface

Rose rocks a hot bitchface

The Party (:31)
Moon:  we need to break down the outfits
UC:  first impression: House..l.. um YES… major win over the last house, which i loved
Moon:  yea i LOVED the last house. I want to MARRY the last house
UC:  House= win. so romantic. I so hope that the hubby does that exact thing for our annivesary celebration tonight.
Moon:  the two houses don’t look like they go together
UC:  i want to marry THIS house. They’re diff houses, but I love them both. This is an upgrade. Let’s discuss the coloring. It’s great. I wasn’t against the blue. I liked the blue. It was depressing, rainy. I thought it was nice, but the warm golden colors? I like
Moon: The blue color was dreary twilight, and I think the change to warn tones reflects the change to the wolves and earthy shiz like the quilutes. LOVE the new look
UC:  Um Alice= my bff. She shoulda worn THAT Sunday night to MTV cuz it’s major win. Also notice NO showing of Nikki/Rosalie except for one bitch-face moment that I’m about to screen cap
Moon:  No joke, Ash’s wig is better than her bouffant from last night
Moon:  Rose looks hot for once and not like she fell out of a TJ Max sale rack like she did in Twilight.
UC:  right. Ross Black Friday special
Moon:  seriouisly lest we forget her ACID wash jeans
UC:  she goes well with uncle jesse
UC: Esme? Uh, make me a vamp now and make her my mama
Moon:  Esme will always be hot and timeless. NEED that dress
UC:  WILL BUY that dress on ebay. For $7,000 if I have to. Will fight over any Twimom to get it.

jasperbuffont

"Won't you be my supper?"

UC:  so far I’m in love with Chris Weitz. Can we discuss the manly sound we hear “Alice that cake could feed 50. you guys don’t even eat”
UC:  It’s like Kristen said “damn, it’s 3am, i don’t give a F*ck… i’m gonna sound like it’s 3am. Or like I ate a frog.”
Moon:  uh JASPER- aka:  Mr Rogers cardigan and a poodle wig
UC:  SO nasty! Seriously. Almost as bad as sweat fest 2009 at the khyber in philly
Moon:  he’s all top heavy with that hair, makes him look like a pinhead. I’m so sad and underwhelmed.  Sweatfest was better

Not so fast, you sweaty monkey, you

Not so fast, you sweaty monkey, you

The dramatic, small flesh wound (:43)
Moon: Jasper running is ridiculous! totes diff than how i imagined it but awesome
UC: poor piano
Moon:  next time i get a papercut im going to fling whatever it is im holding in the air. totally dramatic “OW PAPERCUT!”
UC:  Yes! Then throw someone on the piano! And ruin it. Even though it’s an antique from the 1800s that Bach played in the 1600. F*ck it. Who cares.
Moon:  thats how you react to small flesh wounds
UC:  Caust it’s a MUCH bigger deal than Bella getting her period
Moon:  dude you can totally see the harness and wires on jasper/stunt double. It’s all rumbled and a big square thing on his back
UC: Rush job!
Moon: yes definite rush job
UC:  Insert note from the Hubby “how many times do you think you’re gonna watch that clip? You probably should a bunch more. You don’t want to miss any foreshadowing or symbolism” (this is where I get my wonderful sarcasm)

See where Bella gets sad and Chris Hansen comes after us, after the jump

Continue…

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Storytime with UC & the 100Monkeys

Dear 100Monkeys,

I have a story to share with you today. That’s all.

Love,
UnintendedChoice

Once upon a time in the city of Philadelphia, UC arrives to 2nd street and is walking away from the parking garage towards Triumph Brewery. Suddenly 4 sweaty boys with guitars on their backs come RUNNING from another street. It is the 100Monkeys. Someone yells “Jackson!” and UC cringes with 2nd-hand embarassment and quickly looks away, afraid someone will think she is a crazy Twilight fan.  Instead of going to the club to meet her friend, UC proceeds to follow the 100Monkeys, just as any good blogger in desperate need of content would do. But they continue on past the Triumph Brewery and, alas, UC is hungry and running a few minutes late.

The first east coast LTT/LTR dinner is a success and a few drinks later, everyone proceeds to The Kyber to see what other 2nd-hand embarrassing moments await them.

Soon after arriving, UC points out the Bella Tattoo, which we learned on Sunday was tattooed so that Rob would decide to love her for eternity.

bellatattoo

Frustrated with the lack of Twilight T-shirts in her vicinity, UC decides to take a walk with JustGotWicked. Ah ha! There they spy the Monkey-aholics in the front of the line. They’re sure to provide 2nd-hand embarrassing moments! They did not dissapoint. Exhibit 1: Home-made canvas Team100Monkey bags:

team100monkeys

Continuing on down the line, Monkeyhats are spotted!

monkeyhats

Some guy who apparently is in the 2nd opening band approaches them & they decide to snap a snot with him. Just cause. It’ll make him feel famous. Instead of a broke guy in an awful band.

2ndbandandus

Do you spy my tounge? I do

 

and look! A huge Stuffed Monkey!

girlwithhugemonkey

UC decides all this work is tiring and needs a break with Calli & Amourpsu for some shots

Find out what happens after the shots (Here’s a teaser- UC falls down the bar’s stairs) after the jump

Continue…

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Celebrating Memorial Day with Twilight!

And I'm proud to be an American where at least I know I'm free...

And I'm proud to be an American where at least I know I'm free...

Dear Military service people, fallen heroes, deceased vampires and those who have gone before us-

Today is Memorial Day here in the states, it’s a day set aside to remember the past, people who have passed on in our lives and also to thank our service men and women for protecting and serving. We here at Letters to Twilight and Letters to Rob salute you and thank you for you service to our country! Without people like you we wouldn’t be free to profess our love for a British Boy, wear cute outfits like Ms. Stewart over there, or be free to write a snarky blog about vampires.

Today we’ve dragged Kristen Stewart out in her campy military finest to pay special tribute to the following:

James – You certainly made for interesting sport and fodder for the first book/movie but I have to say I’m glad your creepy trailer trash-y self won’t be around for another movie

Victoria – We will most definitely miss your faboo hair after Edward rips you limb from limb in Eclipse. It’ll be awesome but we’ll miss seeing a kick ass girl uh well… kicking ass!

Harry Clearwater - we barely knew ye… but anyone who fathered Seth Clearwater, makes the best fish fry in Forks and is Charlie’s BFF MUST be good people!

Jasper Whitlock – Thank you for your valiant service as a major in the Confederate Army before you were unceremoniously turned into a vampire and then helped train and lead the New Born Army… though I’m not quite sure that kind of army is something we celebrate on Memorial Day but we’ll use any excuse to talk about Jasper

Army Unicorn – our very own unicorn commenter who happens to serve and protect each day in the US Army. We <3 ya!

Have a wonderful holiday… cook lots of cured meats and we’ll see you back here tomorrow and back to our regularly scheduled programming
XO
Themoonisdown

PS Don’t forget to check out Letters to Rob and see what’s cooking over there for Memorial Day
Chat it up in the forum!

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Lovin' 100Monkeys means you'll be loved in return

Dear God, please let this girl's name be Bella

Dear God, please let this girl's name be Bella

Dear girls who thought by seeing the 100Monkeys last night at The Khyber in Philly Rob will now declare his eternal love for you,

Did he? Did Rob call you this morning anxious to begin your love affair? I figured. Cuz there’s nothing that turns on an actor more than girls showing up to a co-star’s band’s show wearing Twilight T-shirts, showing off their Twilight tats, swinging their home-made Jasper handbags over their shoulders, wearing a monkey hat, carrying around a huge stuffed monkey and asking when “Jasper” is going on stage.

By bringing a Monkey to the 100Monkey's show, Rob will be so happy & make me his wife

By bringing a Monkey to the 100Monkey's show, Rob will be so happy & make me his wife

How ever will Rob chose between you all?

Last night was amazing. Big hugs to all the LTT/LTRs I met. Real recap to come this week. It’s 2:16 am and I need my beauty rest if I am going to be at my best for Rob’s call in the am, declaring his love for me since I saw a show tonight where the lead singer happened to be in two movies with him and they may or may not be friends outside of work.

Love,
UnintendedChoice

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