My Geek Thing Is Valuable! Your Geek Thing Is Stupid and Worthless!

I’m on vacation, which means that this letter was drafted up after lots of tropical drinks (but filled with lots of love) so I apologize for all the errors you might come across, if any! This is a reprint from LTT reader Marble from something she wrote for Twilighters.org. Enjoy!

Dear Twilight,

aDORKable

Recently I was discussing with another parent if it was time to show our young daughters Star Wars (Answer: YES). Also in question, and very brief debate: Episode IV first, right? (Answer: OBVIOUSLY). I share this to establish my minimal Geek Cred. I am not a huge nerd, but I had a hold at the comics store for Season 8 Buffy comics, I’ve seen the director’s cut of Blade Runner, I know that the even-numbered Star Trek movies are better. I love Simon Pegg, Kevin Smith, and David Tennant, and I quote the Holy Grail almost reflexively. So I submit to you this:

Twilight is, or can be, the Girl Version of geeking out.

Now, before everyone piles on here, No, not all girls like Twilight. Yes, lots of girls like shooty games and can fix your wi fi. I am not saying “Twilight is exactly like Star Wars let’s do a side by side comparison of the two”. Although I will say this: haters say Twilight is a terrible movie. We can debate the merits all day, but you know what? Star Wars, as a film, is crap. Seriously. And do you want to talk about Ewoks? No, you don’t. What it has is a great story. Millions of fans will tell you they both do.

Let the nerdrage begin.

What I am saying is that people geek out about Twilight, in a big way. Note the long lines at ComicCon this year, and every year there is Twilight stuff. It’s true some of those people just go to scream “I Love You, ROB!”, faint, and go home. But some of those people stay to see Peter Jackson and grab some new manga. At the start of ComicCon there were a few tweets going around from fanboys saying they are sick of TwiFans “ruining” the con, and why do they (we) get so hysterical. Listen, let’s talk about going overboard about something while you sew on a custom made cosplay outfit, shall we? For some people, shrieking like a lunatic or being on a “Team” is their version of spending valuable time and money learning the Star Spangled Banner in Klingon. Deal with it.
I am also saying this: every kind of pop culture that is geared towards girls is nearly always devalued and not considered serious work. I am not trying to out anybody as a misogynist; I am simply highlighting a subtle yet insidious worldview. Screaming teenagers are somehow not as authentic as the serious dudes who know all Nirvana’s deep cuts. As Chally Kacelnik said, in an article for Bitch Magazine, “Accusations of silliness and inconsequentiality are, of course, some of the most insidious tools in the patriarchy’s toolbox.

Men historically have been the arbiters of what is “good” and “bad” in Western culture, yet women gain more control of finances every day. Is the vitriol a hidden fear reaction? Or some sort of neanderthal response to Edward Cullen as top competitor for female attention?

I will end by saying this: we’re all geeks. Anyone who is not a geek about something is probably not very interesting. Don’t devalue my obsession just because mine sparkles.

Love,
MarbleNutSlut

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46 Commented


Defending Twilight

TwilosophyDear Twilight,

I want you to know that I still love you, even though we really haven’t seen much of each other lately.
The other day at work, I was surfing the net like you do when there is nothing to do. I saw a random headline about what to do now that Harry Potter is over and so I clicked it. The post suggested many other series one could look into to fill the HP void, with a list of “Pros” and “Cons” for each suggestion. Of course you were in there, but I’m going to go out on a limb and guess that you’re only included because of all the success (ie money) the movies have had, and not because the writer thinks you are a legitimate story worth anyone’s time. Here’s why:

This is the part where Edward put Bella in a choke hold because talked to Mike Newton

Under the “Con” for Twilight: “the films portray a physically, emotionally abusive relationship in an overwhelmingly positive light. Also, the story involves a hulking teenage werewolf romantically bonding with a baby. Gross.” [I’ve bolded the part that inspired this letter.]

First of all, lol at the Jake/Renesmee reference – we won’t even go there. Then I was like, “Hold on, What?” I re-read to make sure I saw it correctly. Then I sat there going, “Physical abuse? What’s he talking about? Bella having to beg Edward for another go? Or wait, is this about the headboard?” It’s been nearly 3 years since my single reading of the books, so I even emailed TeamSeth to make sure that I wasn’t forgetting something. “Not unless you count the baby” she said.

This is the part where Edward bites Bella because she talked back

Ok, so Twilight, here’s the thing. Some people don’t like you. Some people even hate you. This is not new; we all know this. I can’t speak for anyone else, but personally, I don’t care if someone doesn’t like you. They can call you stupid, lame, childish, ridiculous, whatever. They are entitled to their opinions, even if they’ve never met you. We can’t control what other people think of us. I’m not going to argue with them or try to change their minds. I don’t feel like I need to stand up for your story; you can take care of yourself. But Twilight, this really kind of pissed me off. I mean, I can overlook the emotional abuse claim, because I think one could make a case for it and have a real discussion/debate on that subject. I’m not saying that Edward & Bella’s relationship is perfect or that it should be held up on a pedestal – this is a work of fiction after all. But to say that the story essentially glorifies a physically abusive relationship is not only completely false, but borderline slanderous; and ignorant…which I pointed out in the comments, in the most sane, tweedy, normal way possible. (I guess I was inspired by Moon’s Facebook comment.) Last I checked, I had 7 thumbs-down and no thumbs-up. I mean, I really can’t understand why someone would even say that. You’d think that a seemingly semi-professional blogger would take the time to make sure he actually knows what he’s talking about before callously making a rather serious (IMO) accusation about a popular story. I’m not even touching on what that would mean (if the allegations were true) about all the people, women especially, who love the story. I’m just trying to point out that it’s a false claim.

Twilight, I can’t promise that I’m always going to be around. Eventually, we will drift apart. It happens. But I can promise you that I will remember our time together fondly and will reminisce with others who also love you. And apparently, I will also be there to defend you, but only when you really need it.

I got your back,
Luludee

So what the hell WAS this guy talking about? Do you find yourself standing up for Twilight? Does Twilight really need us to defend it? Do people run away screaming when you do?

I still miss Moon, in case you were wondering:

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53 Commented


The one where I made a fool of myself for Twilight

Dear

Today I was browsing my Facebook feed while trying not to have a nervous breakdown during the Women’s World Cup Shoot Out (I can’t talk about it) and noticed the vintage shop I hit up for costumes, Iguana Vintage, had a Rob and Kristen sighting. No doubt to buy out all of LA’s ugliest vintage sports tshirts and hats. Maybe a new (old) Timberwolves jersey for Comic Con? Holler Team Jacob!!

So while reading I noticed they made a glaring mistake and I felt compelled (or crazed) to comment since clearly I have no problem using my personal account to illustrate what a dork I am to the hippies running Iguana vintage.

Witness…


Yes, I am that loser that felt the need to correct a Facebook page about Robsten. I have become THAT GIRL. To complete the transformation I will now go around telling people it’s Stephenie Meyer with an E not an A and that it’s PattINson not Patterson and Robsten is REAL it’s true love and Taylor didn’t use any steroids, it’s all natural people… and he’s legal!

And because me calling out the vintage clothes hippies on their Facebook page and raining all over their mothball smelling parade wasn’t enough they then updated with this…


They might as well have said “According to some crazy Twihard we were wrong and Twilight is a film and it’s not actually True Blood and Rob and Kristen aren’t actually Beeeehul and Sooookie and after we found that out we wished we hadn’t given them the 15% off we give our FB fans because they aren’t actually our FB fans and they cleared out our entire sporting section. Jerks. We hate those films.”

So Iguana Vintage this is my formal apology because I’m not THAT girl and I love your mothball smells because I find costumes for all my parties there: Back to the Future, Saints & Sinners, Rockstar Dreams and countless Halloweens too awesome to name all from your Hollywood store, I can’t do the Valley. And I truly don’t care that you know anything about Robsten or their actual names and what shows or movies their in. So can I have that 15% fan discount and my dignity back??

LIKE!
Themoonisdown

PS Why do those other people who commented have like 5 names each?

Have you done anything like this? Corrected someone about something Twilight-related when it really didn’t matter at all? Why do vintage stores smell like mothballs? Can someone make a vintage store where I won’t sneeze the entire time I’m inside it?

Visit Iguana Vintage

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73 Commented


People who tweet Chris Weitz: Your embarassing is showing!


Dear People Who Tweet Chris Weitz dumb crap,

NO ONE CARES. Seriously, no one care what camera angles he used or what movie best displays the use of the wide angle lens, or how foreign film distributors choose what day to release a film vs the US distributors and we especially don’t care for Chris’s take on Rob’s body parts (though they are lovely). You are ALL 2nd hand embarrassing to read and make the rest of us look like losers with hormonal issues who get off on tweeting semi naughty things to a guy who worked with a guy you like. It’s like asking your barista at Starbucks if your crush has ever creamed their coffee… hur hur hur… see what I did there? Yea, it was gross and that’s how some of you make us all look!

Srsly! How cute is this kid??

Don’t get me wrong, it’s BEYOND awesome that Chris tweets regularly and responds to his followers at all! It’s super cool and we love it and whatever but all I’m saying it stop with the facade of really caring about camera lenses, we know you just want to ask about Robsten. So check yo’self before you wreck yo’self. Annndddd if you feel the need to tweet him here’s a list of approved topics I’ve come up with:

Things we care about Chris Weitz tweeting about:

  • Taylor Lautner bits
  • Jokes about his mustard pants
  • Cute stuff about his freaking adorable son
  • Things tweeted in spanish (caliente!)
  • Restaurant recommendations
  • Twitpics of him at the pool
  • What he’s listening to
  • Stuff about his movies he’s working on
  • Twitpics of the mustard pants
  • Twitpics of his freaking adorable son with the mustard pants near Chris in a pool
  • Secret meet up locations
  • Whether Big Daddy was a diva on the New Moon set like he ALLEGEDLY is now
  • The juxtaposition between his jewish last name and christian first name (srsly, I wonder these things)
  • Why he’s so awesome
  • Whether him, Cathi Hardi, David Slade and Bill Condon meet up regularly at Cathi’s favorite Friday’s for drinks and reminisce about the old days, share war stories and who has the best black mail tape of Robsten
    .

Every day he's tweetin'!

Tonight (last night as it were) I will be at the LA Film Fest seeing Mamitas while Chris is in a nearby theater presenting the World Premiere (oh la la!) of A Better Life… I will be enjoying Mamitas but I will be secretly longing to see your new film FIRST… and hoping that my pal who IS seeing A Better Life will get us all the TLaut and KStew gossip as they will ALLEGEDY, MAYBE be there to represent and support you. HOW great is that?! All these people love Chris! Anyway, I’m hoping Taylor brings Big Daddy and I can see the Diva from afar.

Instead of tweeting why don’t we all go see A Better Life?

Themoonisdown

Is it crazy we’re still burning a candle for this guy? NO!!! :) Also who wants to see A Better Life? Anyone been hitting up the awesome LA Film Fest over the past week?? No Eclipse this year but there are tons of amazing films, if you’re in LA go go go! Vamos!

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTR, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

 

110 Commented


Are there any 2011 Newbies?

UC Moon Stephenie Meyer

THIS is kinda a big deal....

Dear Twilight,

Last week it came up in conversation with some new friends that I run a Twilight blog. I bashfully said “Yes it’s true.. I write a blog about that vampire love story” and my friend quickly jumped in to say “But, UC, tell them all about it- Tell them how it’s kind of a big deal & how you met the author and everything” And I bashfully said “Yes.. Yes.. I met the author… I’m kinda a big deal” (Just kidding) So I was answering questions about what we do here at LTT & the new friend (a male) was really interested. Like a little too interested for a 33 year old father of 4, and it just reminded me of a year or so ago when that very conversation was more prevalent. At this point most people know about LTT (even though I’ve still never made LTT public in my life. No matter how many times my grandmother asks what the blog address is..) so it’s been awhile since I’ve had to explain WHAT it is we do here and WHY.

That got me thinking: What happens to the people who are just discovering Twilight now? Remember when you first found LTT, how RELIEVED you were that you weren’t alone in loving the story, despite it’s many, hilarious flaws? Can you imagine FINALLY giving in after hearing about Twilight for all these years, obsessing like crazy as everyone does over the books and then watching the 3 movies before slipping into a deep “it’s over” depression? What do they do next? Where do they begin? They’d probably Google Rob Pattinson like most of us did, and after watching 10 videos straight… then what? Text the friend who begged them to read the saga all these years and say:

OMG! There is this video where Kristen picks something out of Rob’s teeth and he goes “Yummy!” Do you think they’re together? It seems like it- I have to confess I watched this hour-long video of the behind the scenes filming of some photo-shoot. You HAVE to check it out!

Um, old news… like 2008 old news! How lonely must it be for new Twilight lovers- the newbies of 2011!!

See you at Youth Group Sunday?

Imagine the day when they come across old Twilight archives on some entertainment website & read that Kellan Lutz calls “A Purpose Driven Life” one of his favorite books. Who is there to laugh along with them when they put two and two together & figure out Kellan’s just a good ol’ boy from the youth group?

And imagine the disappointment of a Twilight newbie who finds out Kristen & Nikki are bff’s forever & then starts to come across pictures where the two girls are no longer together- or worse they’re in the same picture but on opposite sides! Or Nikki’s bitchface is showing. Did their fake lesbian-ship fall apart? Who/What/When/Where did that happen? Can you imagine trying to figure out what went wrong THERE 2 years after the fact (Newbies the short answer is: Nikki f*cked Rob, Rob f*cked Kristen, Nikki married some American Idol dude)

Who is there for the 2011 newbie when they cry after discovering 100 Monkeys? I can imagine it now: One night there’s some heavy research being done on Jackson because “he’s pretty cute.” Blah blah blah “he was on The OC.” Blah blah blah “he was a she-male on Criminal Minds.” Blah blah- “Music!? Nice! I love a guy with a guitar…” Pushes play on the music player. “AHHH What IS this? Why is blood pouring out of my ears? Why do I suddenly want all monkeys to die? Make it stop!” Ugh- how horrible to go through that alone!

Buttcrack Santa Tequila Tomas

Buttcrack Santa with an old friend I forgot about TEQUILA TOMAS!

And can you IMAGINE falling in love with the Buttcrack Santa story-line alone!? I mean we’ve known him for so long. We wrote him his very first letter almost a 2 1/2 years ago! He’s such a part of our “normal” life (as much as an old dude with his buttcrack showing is normal.) These days we barely even think about him (sorry Waylon! We’ll get on that. I do miss you). Or what about the day the newbie comes across a picture of Taylor and his dad & Laughs out LOUD at the picture- there’s this fit, young jacked guy & well, Big Daddy. Who has a lot of ‘lovin’ to go around if you know what I mean!

I can’t imagine what it’s like for 2011 newbies. Maybe there aren’t any- or at least any as dedicated as us. I’m not trying to say we’re better- I don’t think that for one second- I’m not a “old school Twilighter” by any means since I discovered the books a week before Breaking Dawn was released (thank GOD! I can’t imagine waiting!) I just mean- are we so dedicated because we’ve had awhile with the saga? We’ve come to love these things slowly- first the books, then the movies. Then we loved the characters of the movies- then the actors & finally their random family & friend connections…. Has all this time & “experiences” we’ve had with the story/characters/actors & players shaped our love? Or are there dedicated fans still jumping on board even these days….. all alone out there, wondering how to belong!?

I hope new people find Twilight. And then I hope they find LTT so we can let them in on our secret: That’s Normal. Yes, all of it. (Well, most of it. Or maybe like three quarters of it. Or maybe just the parts of it that we agree are normal. How’s that?)

Still Normal, even after all these years,
UnintendedChoice

Do you think people are still finding Twilight in 2011 & loving it with this deep obsessive affection? What other things/people/storylines would be hard to fall in love with on your own!? PS: I miss Tequila Tomas

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65 Commented


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