Brunching Ashley Greene

(Get ready to pee your pants of the laughter and the epicness, then get ready to tweet @AshleyMGreene because this really needs to happen. Aren’t in luff with White Yorkie yet? Remind yourself here.)
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Brunch with White Yorkie?! Where do I sign up???

Well hello there, Ladies (and gentleman).

White Yorkie here, everybody’s favorite unicorn…  Well, everybody’s favorite other than the Font, but I lost him in the crowd at BronyCon (trust me, click on that link) this year, so you’re stuck with me.As you may be aware, Ashley Greene is near and dear to my heart.  Soon after writing this post yesterday, I looked at my clock and realized 9 hours had passed.  And then I looked at my screen and realized I had 25 ¾ pages of meandering (yet heartfelt) love sonnets.  I’ll spare you that and instead say this:

If it were up to me, all the films would focus on Alice and not this other chick Blecha or whoever-the-crap.  At the very least she should get her own Saturday morning cartoon spinoff series:  The Adventures of Alice Cullen & Friends.  It would be Masters of The Universe meets Muppet Babies.  Or Darkwing Duck meets Eek! The Cat.  Or The Snorks meets NYPD Blue.  You understand.

The real point is, this week both me and Ashley Greene will be at San Diego Comic-Con.  Now some might look at this situation and say to themselves, “Yeah, sure.  I could possibly maybe might see the love of my life from like a brajillion feet away.  We’re only separated by 5,000 sweaty mouth-breathers.  What a good day.”  But no.  White Yorkie ain’t having that shit.  I see this as the perfect opportunity to fulfill a lifelong dream.

Hmmmmm pancakes… smoothies…. eggs…. what do I want…

I’m gonna make breakfast for Ashley Greene.

And trust me…  you (talking to Ashley now) are in for a treat.

Girl, I can make you eggs.  Sunnyside up?  You bet.  Poached?  Ain’t no thang.  Scrambled?  Child, please.  You like ‘em a little runny?  I got you covered.

Girl, I can make you toast.  I’ll be slicing a loaf of whole grain (gluten free if you’re into that sorta thing) to the beat of Father John Misty like it’s my J-O-B.

Girl, I can blend the shit out of fresh fruit and greens.  Yeah, I’m talk’n smoothies.  Mangos?  You bet your sweet ass.  Kale?  I ain’t scurred.  You like ‘em super green with Dandelion Greens and Chard?  I’m your huckleberry.  (Plus I’ll bring my Vitamix 5200 so you know I’m not messing around.)

We can talk about “movies” versus “films.”  The intricacies of Robyn.  Even the implications of the God Particle if you’re feeling especially sciency.

Alright, so here’s the deal LTTers.  I need your help.  You might be asking why I deserve it.  The truth is, I don’t.  But what mere human really deserves the company of this beauty?

The real answer to that question is “none alive.”  But today’s answer is “White Yorkie.”

Basically what I’m asking you to do is to spend the next few days leading up to Comic-Con twitter-bombing Ashley Greene.  Just a little note letting her know that I’m ready and willing.  Something like:

White Yorkie wants to make you breakfast at Comic-Con!  He’s so dreamy and junk!

Or

I really wish I had guys the caliber of White Yorkie wanting to make me breakfast!  Swoon!

Or

When White Yorkie makes you breakfast pretty please take pics!  OMFGROTFLCOPTER!

Just be sure to #brunchingashleygreene

You can also take a picture like this one and throw it on the ol’ Instagram and tag Ashley in it.

I will return from my adventures with extensive writings, photos, and perhaps even video.  And I will also be forever in your debt, Interwebs.  That means I owe you Italian food and at least a trip to second base the next time you’re in town.

Okay, here’s all the important details:

When: Comic-Con 2012 in San Diego.  Thursday-Sunday.  My schedule is flexible.
Where:  LTT headquarters in the Gaslamp District.  It’s legit swank.
Who:  White Yorkie, Moon, Ashley Greene.
How:  twitter:  @ashleymgreene
Instagram: ashleymgreene
#brunchingashleygreene

Please help me in my quest to brunch Ashley Greene.

White Yorkie out.

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**Yup, that’s right White Yorkie along with me and BrookeLockhart will be at Comic Con tearing it up on your behalf at all the Twilight events as well as all the other bizarro crap we’re into and will report on over at That’s Normal. So make White Yorkie’s day and tweet the crap out of Ashley Greene cause really, ya never know what will happen. Also if you’ll be at Comic Con stay tuned to our Twitter @Letter2Twilight because we might just be going something cool and what you there! **

28 Commented


A Unicorn Strikes again

Dear Twilight,

In case you forgot:

Unicorn: A rare mystical creature only rumored to exist but highly sought after. Like a a guy who likes Twilight.

It’s been so long since we’ve heard from one that I almost forgot they existed. Until….. we got this email:

Dear LTT,

First of all, congrats on your life altering hangout session with Steph. I would have vomited as many times as Stephenie addressed me had I been there.

I decided to check out your website after seeing that you guys were picked to be thrown blindfolded in a van to meet the vampire mother.

I have to say that I am troubled to find out from your letters that I am alone in this world. I am a man. Married with 2 kids and one on the way. Surely it cannot be a rare thing that someone like me absolutely breathes and lives Twilight in his life. Are you saying that I will likely never encounter another male twihard in my life. Sure, I’ve never met one but I always thought it was because I just don’t have many guy friends to begin with. I have never been ashamed of Twilight and although in the deepest part of my subconscious I realize the book was made for middle school screaming tweens, I have never felt ashamed for loving a universe I dream of being real. Your letters, however are a forbidden fruit that has unlocked the knowledge of good and evil. I never noticed all the females surrounding me in the garden. I never noticed that I am the only guy there! And even though everyone else is properly dressed with their team Jacob and Edward shirts and jorts, I am the only one naked.

Little do you know that my heart stands strong for Edward and Jacob, and little will dismay my pride in their story. I may not feel for RPatt and TLaut the way a hormonal teen girl exudes, but my devotion will remain. I will continue buying my TwiPhone covers, and TwiDolls. I will unwearyingly buy my daily theater ticket for one. I will purchase all the Twilight movie guides and read the special Twilight edition People at the front of the bus. And I will stand proud in line to get the first BD tickets as the sun’s rays rise to light up my shimmer glitter on my face. I will continue to cry out in one voice with all my sisters for Midnight Sun.

Even if I am the only straight male twitard on the planet, I will embrace all of you as my own family. The question is will you accept me as the only brother?

¿El Único? (the only one?)

I immediately emailed ¿El Único? back to WELCOME HIM TO THE LTT FAMILY!

Read more from the newest sighting of the rare Mythical Unicorn after the jump! Continue…

188 Commented


While Moon was Gone…

As of press time (aka 5:52 pm on Sunday evening while in my pink robe & before heading out the door to see PAUL MCCARTNEY (yes, a Beatle! WEE) I haven’t even spoken to Moon yet except through a few text messages. She’s home. She’s safe. She’s exhausted. I’m sure she is going through a transition of going from a 3rd world country back to LA…. where the world’s couldn’t be any different. So while we can’t wait to hear from her and ALL about her trip…. I thought we’d give her a day or so to debrief. And talk about how much we missed her and how much she missed!!!

Dear Moon,

While you were gone… Rob fell for me, Kellan repented & joined the priesthood, Big Daddy ate an entire Olive Garden (yes, even the bar stools) and Mr. Choice literally joined Team Jacob. He and Taylor Lautner ran off together which makes it easy to be with Rob now….

Okay not really- that’s my dream “While Moon was gone” (minus my husband and Taylor opening up an Alpaca farm together) But a LOT of stuff happened. In fact, we thought of you ALL THE FREAKIN’ TIME. And so I asked the readers we know and love so well to send in stuff that made them think of you- Twi related… or not. And did they EVER! We got so many submissions that I can’t even post them all. And I was SO good at keeping track of them all (as you’ll see by my daily break-down of stuff that happened) and then I went on vacation and missed a few days- whoops. But you get the point. We missed you SO much.. and are SO glad you’re home. I can’t wait to catch up- hear all about Africa, tell you ALL the drama that went down while you were gone (oh there was drama!) and celebrate your return!

WELCOME HOME!
Xo,

UC

While Moon was Gone…… this stuff happened….

Day 1 7/30/10
@Twilight tweeted about US!

The world ended (and clearly they don’t know about the not-so-friendly “Dear Summit” letters we’ve written:

Check it out! RT @TSTPodcast: New blog post: Fan Junket Friday With TwiFans & Letters To Twilight http://bit.ly/dt2Vod

@Janetrigs kept on hatin’ on

to tell you this from her new work email:

Please tell Moon, I hate her. That is my message.

Greeting Cards to get me through..

An LTT friend sent me this card to get me through the time you are gone:

Click me!

Day 2 7/31/10

2nd-hand embarrassment

Dear Moon,

While you were gone you missed the most 2nd hand embarrassing moment evah…..
A fan video taping Kellan at LaGuardia airport in NY, who told him to tell her he loved her to her video camera, fell on her ass and he had to pick her up and give her a hug for her 2nd hand embarrassment (which the 2nd hand embarrasment happened twice so she should win an award. 1) she had him tell her he loved her and 2) she biffed it big time). I’m 110% sure after he got in his driver’s car he may have peed his pants a little laughing because that’s what I did (well I didn’t pee, but I almost did) when a lady ran into me in an elevator full force on my college campus and fell on her ass after she bounced off of me and the minute I got outside I almost peed my pants until I got to my car b/c I was laughing so hard.

Hope you are having a safe time!

Love,
A person who laughs hard at people who fall down b/c she can’t help it,
Jena

An excuse to laugh

Then this article came out: If Eclipse was 10 times shorter, 100 times more honest (read that, seriously)

Day 3 8/1/10

Samalia got THIS done:

(She said Team Mullelephant wasn’t available.)

Someone wrote you THIS poem:

Among all the blog lines
Sifting through I hide.
Lurking and knowing,
Relating to all described.
Laughing and blushing at all this good fun
While knowing that knowing is unfit.
It’s wrong.
That’s normal, don’t fear.
Come join in our play land.
Where vampires sparkle.
They glint and they glisten.
An unintended choice
To evolve into a beast.
Starving and hungry
For the next witty feast.
Not a love sick wolf
Gone crazed
In some lust driven strife.
But a tormented average girl
Consumed by the lines.
Kiss, Kiss to Edward,
Kiss, Kiss Taycob, baby.
Charlie and Jasper,
Carlisle and Nessie.
You’re real in my head
and you rest near my pillow.
I delight in your story,
Clutch me tight and hold me closer.
I need you to fill empty spots of my days,
Never quite clear why your draw never fades.
Pages and pages
Week after week.
With the turn of the moon,
I grow and
Still I break.
Commenting, talking,
Through a screen name I write.
Deep in the mess
of the twilight plight.
You make me happy and sad
and all things considered
I rather do this
Than be on facebook
or twitter.
So thank you
to all you who make my day
so very nice.
And thank you,
Oh, thank you for all these delights.

Best,
Love Spelled Backwards

FIGURED IT OUT!

While Moon was Gone… I heard a song on Pandora called “The Moon is Down” by Explosions in the Sky and finally figured out her sign-off…maybe?!

-Stefanie

More after the jump! Continue…

71 Commented


Getting Twilosophical with Stephenie Meyer

Dear LTTers,

Week after week now we’ve given you the goods on our interview with Stephenie Meyer. We’ve shocked you with our “Eff, Kill, Marry (Leg Hitch, Imprint, Hunt)” question, we’ve made you laugh with our Leg hitch picture and we’ve proved we’re the best of all time with our smooth, cool demeanor- even when she told us she reads LTT every day (Hey Steph!)

But we know you’ve been DYING to know details about the questions we asked about Bree & Fred and the connection between Diego & Bree and why Stephenie choose to let Fred escape but kill both Bree & Diego. Oh wait, you don’t want to hear about that? Oh that’s right- you would have killed us had we asked crap like that and then made you listen to it.

However, our interview wasn’t all fun & games- we did have some serious questions for Steph. I mean…. how could we look at ourselves if we didn’t get Twilosophical with the creator of it all?

Today’s discussion topics:

  • Redemption in Twilight (hollaaaaa) & what happened to Bree? Vampire Heaven? H-E-Double-Hockey Sticks?
  • What did Steph’s kids watch on TV when she was writing Twi?
  • What makes Stephenie want to kill Nacho Pancho
  • Edward’s evolution throughout the saga
  • When Nacho got HOT(ter) & whether or not Mr. Choice is awkward around kids

LTT Interviews Stephenie Meyer Set 4 by letterstotwilight

Yeah… you heard that right- Stephenie said “The Font” and called them “Your Unicorns” Wanna hear that again? We do too:

The Font, right?

SM The Font by letterstotwilight

Your Unicorns:

SM Unicorns by letterstotwilight

You know that’s not the last time you’re gonna hear those audio clips!

Phew- that was way Twilosophical for today. How ’bout I remind you that the marjority of the interview was like this:

Lots and lots and lots of laughter (and way weird faces from UC and Moon almost kneeing Stephenie in the face)

Love,
UnintendedChoice

Catch all our other interview recaps

Send in stuff that made you think of Moon for “While Moon was Gone

BIG LTT Thanks to:
Samuel from Twifans who did a TON of audio editing. HE RULES!!!!

Legal Stuff:
All photographs are owned by Stephenie Meyer and there may be no copying or other exploitation of such photographs without the express prior written permission of Stephenie Meyer, c/o Jodi Reamer jreamer@writershouse.com
All Photos: Julie Adamson

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTR, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

49 Commented


The Husband and Twilight

Mr. Choice is the president of this club

Dear men interested in being with me,

Hello. My name is UC & I’m in the market for a new man. Tonight after almost falling to the ground from a dizzyspell and spending the evening going from the couch to the bed, dizzy everywhere I went, I decided I was ready to move on from Mr. Choice. He’s just not cutting it anymore. First of all, it took him approximately 48 seconds to come and help me get up from the bathroom floor after I experienced my first dizzy spell- and then he forced a sugary sweet drink down my throat (note SUGARY, not salty..not what you think) THEN when I asked him to help me with an LTT for today, he said, “No.” It’s OVER. Worst husband ever.

So if you’re interested:

  • I’m currently experiencing dizzy spells & it’s either nothing at all or completely serious. We’ll see
  • I love cats, cupcakes & Christmas
  • I spend an extraordinary amount of time online
  • I’d prefer it if you’d look like Robert Pattinson
  • And if you were rich
  • And a good cook- I like eggs
  • And you must want to roleplay as a vampire. I’ll call you Edward- I’ll explain later
  • And you must write at least one LTT for me weekly…. I need a break.

Any takers? In the meantime, be jealous of ThePlaneFriend who has a man much  nicer than that horrible Mr. Choice!

Dear Ltters,

I have the best husband in the world. Truly. To give you an idea how much I adore this man, I am going to make a shocking confession. I wouldn’t even trade him for Edward. (I would, however, want Edward to teach him the leg hitch).

The Plane Husband (I guess I’ll call him that since I’m The Plane Friend) said he wanted to read Twilight a few days after I finished it. This was because I would barely talk to him on a 16 HOUR plane ride to India as I read it and then New Moon—and then made him take me to the nearest Mumbai bookstore to buy Eclipse and Breaking Dawn so I could finish the series (and then read it over and over and over again). I was in India, mind you, and should have been focusing on something other than vampires. But I couldn’t. (And, as luck would have it, the Indian bookstore had both books in paperback. It saved Plane Husband some money, b/c I would have bought them in hardcover in the US despite his protests to get them from the library).

Plane Husband wasn’t won over as an instant unicorn, but has slowly made his way through most of the series in the past two years in between reading other (more manly, most of the time) selections. He has come to all the movies with me. And he’s rather amusing when he talks about them. See the following:

After finishing Twilight:

Husband: “No wonder you like these books so much…this is basically porn for women!”

(I admit that I had been a little more amorous than usual [like wanting to get it on pretty much every day] during the week I lost my Twi-virginity, which I think might have tipped him off).

Me: “So are you going to forbid our daughter from reading them?”

Husband: “Yeah, until she’s married.”

After watching New Moon, in the theater, on opening night, with a lot of screaming teens:

Husband: “I felt like I was in a strip club”

Me: “How would you know?  You’ve never been to a strip club, have you?”

Husband: “No, but I imagine it would be a lot like that.”

After watching Remember Me a few weeks ago:

Husband: “You know, I always thought the whole Twilight cast was terrible, but I think Robert Pattinson is actually a good actor now. Is everyone else just really bad?”

Me: “To be honest, I’ve always thought it was a combination of the screenplays, stuttering Kristen Stewart moments, and the impossibility of taking a fantasy novel written in first person and translating it on screen effectively.”

Husband: “I still think it might just be all the other actors.”

In the car this past weekend, talking about Breaking Dawn:

Husband: “I feel like, with this being the last book and everything, there should have been more action at the beginning. Bella narrated the first what, 100 pages? Nothing happened. Now that Jacob’s narrating, there’s finally something going on.”

Me: “What do you mean nothing happened? Edward and Bella got married, they went on a honeymoon, had vampire-human sex, and made a freaky baby. Stuff happened.”

Husband: “It dragged. I mean, c’mon, Edward is really rich, right? I was expecting something more impressive for the honeymoon.”

Me: “More impressive than taking her to a deserted island with a mansion and the bath-water warm ocean? That’s every girl’s fantasy—even without the perfect vampire. You’re with the guy you love. There’s no one around to distract you…or him. You can have sex on the beach in the middle of the day and know that no one is coming around the bend. Plus, I thought the whole description of how Bella was nervous about their first time was pretty spot-on from the female perspective. It resonates with the intended audience. I was worried about all the same things on our wedding night.”

At that point, we discussed our own wedding night a bit. (Which, oddly enough, was August 13th—but we got married back in 2005—so please don’t think I am one of those crazies who would plan my wedding around sharing Edward and Bella’s anniversary—it’s just fun trivia). And no, I won’t share the sexy times part of our conversation with you, either; it’s my personal fade-to-black, thank you very much.

**Toward the end of the discussion** Me: “At least you didn’t have to worry that having sex with me would kill me.”

Husband: “Can we please stop talking about Twilight now?”

And then yesterday as Husband was reading something on the computer:

Me: What are you laughing at?

Husband: I’m on Letters to Twilight. I figured I should read your post.

Me (in shock b/c Husband has been getting annoyed with me as I have been reading the LTT backlogs and he frequently finds me laughing so hard I’m crying/peeing/spraying water out of my nose as I’m staring at the computer screen and he’d like me to laugh at something he wants to take part in. Online Twilight fandom understandably crosses a line for him): You’re on LTT?

Husband: Yes, and it’s the one and only time I’ll ever be on it.

Me: But what if I have more posts on there? You might be in them.

Husband: I’ll read those too. But that’s it.

So what do you think, LTTers, isn’t he the best?

Love a happily married,

ThePlaneFriend­­­

LUCKY! Wanna trade!???? Jk…. Mr. Choice is pretty cool……He did just make me chocolate milk (I love being sick enough to be babied but not sick enough that I’m really sick)

What have the men in your life done or said about Twilight lately? Any new Unicorn stories to share!???

All images found from stickers on cafepress!

Don’t forget about : While Moon was Gone

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTR, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

155 Commented


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