Dear Guri Weinberg,

In light of this part on your recent blog post about Moon, myself & LTT:

BENIGN? Whoa. We’re sorry. That shouldn’t have happened. We’ll take that as a challenge to up our game big time. With that in mind we’ve decided to dedicate a post to YOU & are calling it “Everything you’ve ever wanted or not wanted to know about Geri Weinberg.” The problem is, there is very little we actually know about you since you stiffed us on the black carpet last November & walked right on by. We get it though– Moon was too busy yelling Rob’s name all night and you probably really anxious to get to the green room where all the celebs get to snack on hors devours like Twilight conversation hearts and little baggies of meat.

Anyway, had you taken the time to stop by & be interviewed by the one & only LTT, we would have been able to find out everything we’ve every wanted to know or not know about you. Here are some of the questions we had prepared:

1. Ugh… who are you again?

2. Now that we’ve established that you’re the guy playing the Romanian vampire, we’re going to whip out a globe & ask you to point to Romania.

3. How many times has your Stefan the vampire been compared to Stefan Salvatore from Vampire Diaries so far? Are we the first to point out that you’re both named Stefan. You both have dark hair & you’re both vampires?

4. Does your wife, Tammy, ever make you role play as Stefan Salvatore instead of Stefan the Romanian? Does she make you role play as Edward Cullen? Carlisle Cullen? Anyone?

5. You know that other guy you play opposite as the Romanian Vampire– Vladamir? Well, his hair is creepishly white- albino almost. We’re wondering– does he make you bleach his hair for him since he can’t reach every area?

6. Do you have a google alert set up for you name? Otherwise how do you know every time we mention you?

7. We hear you’re Israeli. I don’t know if it works the same way as my New York & Philly Jewish friends, but they can always point me in the direction of a good bagel. Moon insists there aren’t any good bagel joints in LA, and I don’t believe her. What’s your favorite?

8. How the eff do you say your name? Gury? Geri? Gory? gERie? guuuurie?? It seems really complicated so if you’re cool we’re just gonna call you Jerry.

9. What’s with the slutty girls at the top of your blog post the other day? You know that Twilight fans are super chaste & not slutty at al. Nor are they into badly written fan fiction porn or anything like that.

10. You’re all into charity with your GFYS 4 charity site, and we think that’s pretty cool. There’s even this “create your own tshirt/product/thong” section that’s pretty fun. Have you created anything on your site in regards to nipple clamps & a cheese wheel? Or would we be the first?

We have a few design ideas:

We also came up with this design, sure to be a best-seller:

Well by now you either love us more or hate us because we’re finally living up to our expectations. So we beat you to it & made the t-shirt you really want to make:

You’re welcome!

Love,
UnintededChoice & theMoonisDown

This could be YOURS!

Okay all: we know you really want to get to know Guri aka JERRY Weinberg, so we’re having a little contest– best, funniest question for Guri in the comments wins your very own, one-of-a-kind, unique LTT-GFYS for charity bag from the Jer-ster’s website. Andddddd go!

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTR, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

Dear themoonisdown,

HAPPIEST OF HAPPY BIRTHDAYS!!!!! Today we’re celebrating YOU & sharing all the things we love. 15 things to be exact. Why 15? Well, 15 was an awkward age no one wants to remember. So you should be grateful you’re not turning 15 today! So without further ado, here are the 15 Things about YOU that I love, plus a bunch of LTT friends love too:

1. I love that when I first met Moon (and UC) back at the New Moon premiere time (remember that whole gyno debacle?) she immediately hugged me like she had known me for years and made me feel like we were life long friends! -KrazyKidd (whose excuses to her job for why she needs time off to come to LA for a movie premiere have ranged from a 3-day long gyno appointment to claiming she’s IN a wedding (which of course meant she was attending Bella & Edward’s wedding))

2. She reps her love for Jacksper.  Our first LTT connection was over a swoon-tastic picture of Jackson Rathbone (in the wake of Twilight, pre-100 Monkeys and not showering).  Then she put the epic picture of Jackson on a bicycle up on the forum.  We had many a happy chat over that hot midget.  We shipped some Jashley (another bicycle that I’m SURE Jackson rode) for a while.  And then, the first time I met Moon in person, she was lounging by a pool in LA wearing a Jackson Rathbone Twi t-shirt on loan from our fellow Jackson lover, TxLiLi.

Jackson has changed over the years, and so have we, but trust me, Moon only gets better and better.  Freya

3. I love Moon because 3 years ago she sent me a picture of Rob that has been displayed by my computer ever since. He’s strumming his imaginary guitar & she made a bubble with “You shook me all night long” on it. I cherish it. -lula34

4. Everyone once in a while “Let Me Sign” comes on the ipod…and I immediately stop what I’m doing and picture Moon and I. Our boom box, the random dog on the street corner, us in wedding dresses and doc martens….running into traffic. That is probably one of my favorite inside jokes ever, and one I won’t ever forget. She even made me a jpg of our little carefully thought out scenario on the blog for my birthday that year, which I’m sure everyone thought was creepy and weird. No worries, we aren’t suicidal, just realistic that it was more likely we would die in traffic than actually get swept off our feet by Edward Cullen…

One of my other favorite Moonie memories over the years was rewriting songs with her. There was always lots of flannel mentioned, and those chats were so long, into the night, and with our 2 hour time difference, I would say “oh its 4am…I should probably sleep. My poor kids ate cereal on those mornings. We even attempted to record us singing on of the songs…on the phone…or something. It didn’t work. At all.

Can’t believe LTT and LTR became what they did, and I cherish the friendships I’ve made. Happy Birthday Moon! I’ll meet ya in traffic! -Kristin

5. Happy Birthday Moon!!! Thank you for the years of laughing inappropriately at work! Thanks for bringing the Twilight snark with style. Even now, 3 years later, when my wee one watches cartoons, and this comes on:

I ALWAYS fight the urge to exclaim, THEY’RE NOT BEARS!” Who am I kidding, I give in to the urge. You are responsible for that. Happy Birthday Lady!! -snowwhitedrifted

6. I love how many pictures of Action Figure we took together during a 3 day period back in 2009 -unintededchoice

8. I love Moon for her AMAZING fashion sense. -Carter

9. I love that I can count on Moon to break down and explain every soundtrack for Twi. I would also like her to do this for every other soundtrack that sounds good. I need music explained to me. I am music stupid. Also I will always and forever love her for the picture that almost broke twitter of Robsten getting into the cab. Amazing Ninja picster. -Janetrigs

10. I love that she does photoshoots with me in the woods that look like Forks where it’s completely normal to have “Edward” photoshopped into the tree afterward -unintendedchoice

11. well, I  remember /the/ night not so long ago (august 2009?) that I met her at The Hotel Cafe to see Marcus, Sam or Bobby perform, not sure I don’t remember… but, the night I met Moon in real life (Ashfrag was also with her) was also the night that HHH Rob showed up with, wait as I type this it’s all coming back to me… Bobby was performing, it was the weekend of the teen choice awards, Rob showed up with Kristen and Moon got the photo of them!  Marcus was also there and they stood just feet from us!  What a way to meet and make such a wonderful friend. Then radar online started a fight about not seeing Rob and Nikki was “whatchu talking bout willis” I got interviewed as a “onlooker and source” by peoplemagazine online and yeah, best, most epic weekend ever, all because I met Moon! -emmyloowhoo

12. I love Moon because she lets me come over to the big blue house, drink her diet coke, watch her tv, she fills me in on the twi-gossip (aka the crazies on the internets) and oh, we also talk about our lives. she’s pretty awesome. -hisoneandonly

13. Happy Birthday Moon!! To the one girl who would understand the sentiment of a Ralph’s sheet cake with the word “Ole” on top which was hand crafted & decorated on the hood of a truck!! Big hugs on your BIG day!! xxoo -Obird

14. I love that Moon is always game. I mean, SHE WAS ON A TWILIGHT BLOG PANEL at TWICON. How can you not love that she’ll totally embarrass herself for our enjoyment?

Men also fall at her feet. I totally ship her and a certain guy who loves starbucks… TOTES. -Brookelockart

15. I love that this was our combined Twilight collection in 2009 & it’s probably 3 times as big now. And how incredibly normal this makes me feel:

In fact, that’s what I love most about you, Moon— you make me feel normal about all these things that have been so-very-far-from-normal for all these years!!

Happy Birthday dear friend. I’m not sure anything can top the last few years we had together. But I’m happy to try! XOXO forever and ever and ever

Love,
UnintendedChoice & friends

THANKS TO EVERYONE WHO SENT ME LOVE FOR MOON’S BIRTHDAY!

Now it’s YOUR turn– share something that YOU love about Moon!

And I promised a winner from the comments last week. This is what made me LAUGH OUT LOUD the hardest:

Congrats Kindred Spirit! E-mail us @ letterstotwilight@gmail.com with your address & we’ll get you your prize!

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTR, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

Dear Twilight,

I miss dressing in disguise like this

I know it seems like Moon & I don’t care, but we do. We really do. We spend at least a good 5 minutes a day complaining to each other about how much we miss you & the fun we’ve had. And GET THIS– we have to schedule time to talk to each other. Really. Moon sends me a Google invite to schedule a meeting. I tell her all the time I really only like BING invites (brainwashed by The CW) but she keeps sending them from Google. I have no idea why.

I miss this

Anyway, I just wanted to pop in & give you an update on what I’ve been up to. Besides my week of sickness resulting in an eye infection, ear infection & possible sinus infection (yes I’m a 4 year old). I cleaned my closet. And realized that the big box of crap that Stephenie Meyer sent us after the epic meeting in 2010 STILL has crap left in it (ps: it’s the crappiest crap left, of course) and it’s taking up room in my closest, and I’m OVER it. So please comment with something that makes me laugh & I’ll send a random commenter something crappy (no you’ll love it! promise!)

Anyway, I want to tell you some REALLY exciting news: I’m writing a BOOK! Yes!!! I know! About time, right? It’s still in the works, but here’s a quick synopsis:

Kathy & Peter are from the same rural territory. Every year a young boy & girl are chosen from each territory and taken to the big city where they are televised and forced to prove their sexual prowess in something called “The Sexual Games,” created for the enjoyment of the residents of the city. Kathy is strong. In the beginning when all participants are meeting each other in a sort-of “speed dating” called “speed flirting” where you show off your skills to each other, she impresses the guys with her impeccable skill at darts. And Peter is incredible in the kitchen. Woman get woozy just by smelling his cinnamon buns.

As the games are set to begin, the participants are standing in a circle waiting for the gunshot to let them know it’s time. In the center of the partipants are “tools” they’ll need for the games. After the shot is fired, everyone runs towards the gear– they have to pick up tools like sexy lingerie, whips, chains, cartons of lube, condoms, dildos and a few surprises I won’t share here!

Kathy & Peter aren’t the best match. Kathy wasn’t ready for the games– she had a potential mate back home (Dale) and Peter just isn’t confident. But throughout my story you’ll see Kathy & Peter come together for the games (pun intended)– knowing that if they are going to win “The Sexual Games” they had better have the hottest sex in front of the cameras they can possible have. And through their fight, they might just find love. You’ll just have to wait & see!

What do you think? If my first printing goes well, I think I’m going to sell the movie rights! Oh and before you ask– yes, I have the same lawyer as E.L. James!

In other news, someone marvelous got this tattoo:

Yes. It’s a tattoo of jorts. On a guy. A guy with a lot of tattoos. Who I’m pretty sure isn’t actually part of “Team Jacob.” But it has jorts GUYS! I’m pretty sure I’m in love with him for doing this. Thanks Sianna for sending it to us!

So that’s what’s new with me. Now make me laugh so I can send you some crap

XX,

UnintendedChoice

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTR, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

Life is like a Twilight Puzzle...

Dear Breaking Dawn Part 2,

We heard this announcement from Bill Condon last week:

A film is a lot like a puzzle, with each piece – each shot, no matter how brief – needing to fit exactly with the ones around it. Our Part Two puzzle is finally coming into full view, and in a few weeks we’ll be heading back north to pick up some additional shots – the last tiny missing pieces.

Despite the fact that Bill addressed us like a Daddy addressing his little worried children to ease our fears that our perfect ending to our favorite story might possibly not be the perfect after all, you have to remember we can always read through the lines of any announcement right?  And while Bill might just refer to it as a “missing puzzle piece,” we know better. We know you’re missing something pretty huge for this final film. But let me remind you that we like Twilight, the original film. Buttcrack Santa, his little bottles, horrible wigs & all. So really? Breaking Dawn Part 1 was the best movie yet. And we actually liked Twilight, so you’re gonna be fineeeeeee. I mean.. as long as you fix one of the following reasons you might possibly be holding reshoots:

• Someone thought it would be funny to switch everyone’s real scripts out with re-written scripts where the movie ends, not with a face off of the good vamps vs. Volturi with the good vamps protected by Bella’s magnetic shield, but with a epic battle occurring between good and evil, where each side suffers a tragedy. Jasper doesn’t make it. Neither does Esme or Seth the wolf. It wasn’t until Stephenie saw the first cut that someone realized a BIG, expensive practical joke was played.

• Stephenie, after spending the summer in England, feels about Downton Abbey even more strongly than we do (she visited the set 3 times) and insisted Bill somehow integrate Dan Stevens (Matthew Crowley) into the movie. Stephenie– I hear ya but feel it’s only appropriate you also write me into a role playing opposite Dan. I need to movie make-out with him pronto.

• Breathing a sigh of relief after achieving their main objective in Breaking Dawn Part 1 (Make Edward & Bella sex scene look nothing like a Robsten sex scene), the team forgot to write in a single sex scene for Breaking Dawn Part 2. Worried about a threat against Bill Condon’s life, a secret service detail has been assigned to him until the issue is remedied (it’s really not that big of a deal– it’s just those secret service agents who got the prostitutes in Columbia the other week. Not surprising to anyone both Peter Fach AND Jackson Rathbone have been bugging Bill for an invite to the secret service detail’s “Welcome Back to Vancouver” party.)

• All of Charlie’s scenes need to be reshot because Billy Burke acted like seeing his newborn granddaughter aging by years in a matter of days was as shocking as learning that Bella & Jake stole a few of his Vitamin R’s to enjoy down at La Push beach when they were in high school. And let’s be honest, that has to bother the world’s worst best cop a little bit more than finding out your uber-responsible daughter occasionally likes to let loose.

• 

  Taylor's close to looking like THIS again

  Much to everyone’s surprise, it is discovered that buried in Rob & Kristen’s contracts was a clause saying that in the final scene of Breaking Dawn when Bella let’s Edward into her mind, Robsten will officially “come out.” Screw the idea of making the announcement by kissing for real on the MTV movie awards after winning “Best Kiss.” An Edward & Bella montage of all their love scenes from all the movies, superimposed over a bearskin rug is the only way Rob & Kristen wil have it.

• Since Taylor is a bigshot & is being abducted in movies now, he’s slacked off on eating meat patties in baggies & has been visiting the Olive Garden more & more. His 8 pack has shrunk to a 6 pack & that’s just not acceptable. In fact, the costume maker had to bring in the waist of Jake’s jorts a little bit because he’s lost muscle!! After convincing him with the threat of Taylor Swift writing another song about him, Taylor finally agreed to fill more baggies with roids meat and start bulking up again for the reshoots.

What do you think? Was Bill Condon’s announcement necessary? And did it make it seem like there’s something bigger going on other than just normal reshoots? I mean… was it necessary? Do you think I’d make a good vampire opposite Matthew Crawley? 

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTR, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

Dear Twilight: Today’s post is a little mashup of everything- which is a good representation of life lately. Kicking us off is SJ with a little note that maybe tugged at my heartstrings a little (not to be confused with a continuous heartquake. That’s very different. I love those too)

Dear Twilight World aka ‘my fantasy life’,

maybe we'll get another photoshoot like this again soon!

I love you, have adored you, and at times rearranged significant real life events (eg getting to work on time, highjacking bosses comp. to watch New Moon premiere livestream) to suit your needs. That is why I am imploring you now to please, for the sake of the Trinity and mother Stephenie, meat patties, brain bleach, Robsten, Nobsten and Kellan’s pamphlet of LA breast cancer clinics he keeps pinned to his fridge by a Cullen crest magnet (for when his mom *ahem* visits), and yes even the *shudder* ‘snail’, please, please don’t JUMP THE SHARK, not just yet. I’m not ready.

I know that UC & Moon have been blogging much less, but bless ‘em they’ve been the equivalent of Storm Troopers (maybe I mean Jedi’s??) in this whole saga ie the awesome guys. And so what if Cdubs & Cathy Hardy & the short guy are now but echoing voices, we still have Steph, Bill and whatsisname the producer. The whole cast may have temporarily faded into the LaLaLand ‘networking’ ghetto but lets remember that there are good times to come.

In just a few months we will care who that blonde chick standing to the left just behind Cuddlemore in a .52 second piece of footage is, Taylor will have had at least six more fauxmances, Ashley Greene will have done an even tackier swimsuit shoot, and Robsten still won’t be/will be getting cozy on the bearskin rug – just for us. And Dakota Fanning has/is? turning 18 years of age so, here’s extending an official welcome to LTT Dakota.

It’s already April, please just keep cruising around behind the speedboat before hitting that ski jump later in the year, you never know what may happen in the meantime, esp. if Rob is driving the speedboat.

Sj.

AHHH SO TRUE. NEVER LET ME GO, NEVER LET ME GO (Twilight… I’m talking to you and not at all reminiscing the amazingness of last night’s Vampire Diaries. Not one bit)

In other news I was cleaning out our inbox a bit (I read some emails sent 1 month ago, go me!) and found a gem of a picture that Kaybvee sent us. Kay was at the Breaking Dawn Black Carpet & captured a Moment when Billy Burke’s wife grabbed his ass– Kaybvee says she was “practically up in there!” See for yourself:

Hey, I’d cop a feel of that copstache any day. Go get ‘em girl!

And LASTLY– my personal favorite find from our inbox (Thanks Sagalvr!)…. As you all know I was lost to Downton Abbey a few weeks back. Well, I’m on my 2nd watch through of the series (much slower this time because Mr. Choice begged me to wait & watch them with him! He loves Bates) And what’s better than Downton Abbey? Downton Abbey AND something from Twilight. So there’s this:

I knew I loved that guy!

Happy weekending

XOXO,

UC

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTR, The Forum, Twitter, The Store