Twilight is like a piece of fine art… no really, it is

(Guess what!? We’re STILL Gone Fishin’! So today, Alice_NaA puts on her Tweed and some Angela glasses and lectures us on some Twilight fine art! Enjoy!!)

Dear LTT-ers,

Don’t we all secretly want to blend the Edward Cullen vinyl wall sticker, shower curtain and other sophisticated twinfluences into a gracious background for elegant living? No we don’t, but I don’t have any other fake excuse for the all the silly crap I make in my free time. Unfortunately our home is the reflection of our soul, and I’m not sure Edward would consider ours worth protecting if we act on these primal urges. That’s why I threw some real historical masterpieces into the “Twilightizer,” so we can secretly enjoy our common guilty pleasure, while sedating the inner intellectual in us and no-one under 10 will notice the difference.

I take no responsibility for the following cultural barbarianism.* I just copy/pasted from Wikipedia committed myself to the magnanimous task of consulting one a wide range of media offerings to gather the least boring most significant information.

We’ll start our journey in ancient Greece, 490 to 450 BCE. The early Classic style marks the breakdown of the canonical forms of archaic art and the transition to the greatly expanded vocabulary and expression of the classical moment of the late 5th century. Whatever that may mean. The Discobolus of Myron (aka discus thrower) is a famous lost Greek bronze original, now only known through numerous Roman copies. The moment captured in the statue is an example of rhythmos, harmony and balance. Naturally, as always in Greek athletics, the Discobolus is completely nude (Er, what am I doing in this century again?). His pose is said to be unnatural to a human, and today considered a rather inefficient way to throw the discus. But we all know that that wouldn’t be a problem for our Edward.

16th century Italian polymath, scientist, mathematician, engineer, inventor, anatomist, painter, sculptor, architect, botanist, musician and writer, Leonardo da Vinci, has often been described as the archetype of the Renaissance man, a man whose unquenchable curiosity was equaled only by his powers of invention. He is widely considered to be one of the greatest painters of all time and perhaps the most diversely talented person ever to have lived. And I’m starting to think he wrote his wiki page himself. He’s also the dude who painted the Mona Lisa

In the 14th century, in a little town not far from where I a live, a boy called Jan van Eyck was born. At an older age he starts working as a painter for some rich fellow, who holds his art in extraordinarily high regard. He also made some extra cash by freelancing in his off time, what else is there to do in the era without the interwebs anyway. His work differs from renaissancal stuff by e.g. Leonardo Da vinci (we know him already!) and Michelangelo, by virtue of its willingness to forgo classical idealization in favor of the faithful observation of nature, resulting in remarquably detailed landscapes interiors and atmospherical effects. Also the women of his time really like to pluck their foreheads and bedding, tablecloth and curtains were considered multifunctional items, you can’t google this.. His most famous work is the ‘Adoration of the Mystic Lamb’, which I’ve already seen twice, as it is conveniently located in a cathedral in Flandres. I show you one of his other famous works, The Arnolfini Portrait. Pay attention to the little doggie ;).

Follow the cut for a whole lot more epic artwork

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This is how you found us Vol. 5

f-a-k-e l-e-s-b-i-a-n-s

f-a-k-e l-e-s-b-i-a-n-s

Dear LTT-ers and LTR-ers,

It’s been a while since we’ve had a “This is how you found us” post. Though I think after this last week, we just may know how a bunch of you found us, and WELCOME! But mostly people’s searches are getting to be a lot more boring, just the same ol Rob, Kristen, Jackson, Taylor and Kristen’s pregnant like a millions times. Come on, show us your creativity! But we’ve managed to pull together another stellar round of crazy searches for June and July!

For the uninitiated, WordPress (our blog program) allows you to see handy dandy stuff like numbers of visitors, which post is the most popular and what terms people searched for when they found our site. When we found this feature we would laugh so hard at some of the terms we knew we had to share them with you awesome readers! And thus this reoccurring blog post was born!

So here we go again…

  • click to enlarge and enjoy his true beauty

    Kristen i’m pregnant – Seriously, Kristen we don’t believe it. Stop trying to spread this rumor!

  • Oil painting in film ‘twilight’ – Dear god please tell me you’re not trying to create a Twilight oil painting… we have enough stuff in the Twilight Museum of crap Art!
  • Insane Twilight tattoos – oh you mean the back piece I got inked of the Forks, WA topographical map?
  • Win a day with Rob Pattinson – This whirlwind day of romance includes lunch at a vending machine, a 1 minute conversation about cheetos, 4 hours reading in silence at a Borders and culminates with him waving as you get into a cab at 6:20PM. ENTER HERE!!Follow the cut for more good times and crazy googles! Continue…

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The Twilight Museum of Art

Dear LTT-ers,

It’s Monday and I couldn’t be happier to celebrate this glorious, beautiful sun shiny day! I spent all yesterday thinking about how much I couldn’t wait for Monday, my favorite day of the week, and to share with you all the awesome pieces of Twilight art I’ve been collecting… it’s like a virtual museum of all the best artists in the world on my hard drive right now!

Now sit back and enjoy this joyous Monday!


click to enlarge and enjoy the beauty!

When I look into Alice’s eyes I can really see the soul of her character… it’s almost like she’s seeing the future and the artist just happened to catch it on paper

click to enlarge and enjoy his true beauty

click to enlarge and enjoy his true beauty

I’m glad Edward’s true self has been captured for all the world to see. It was so obvious in the books that Edward was really a make up artist waiting to break free and show his love of MAC’s “Russian Red” lipstick. Sometimes it just takes a talented artist to bring a characters true self out

To continue this tour of the best art in the world take the cut!

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2nd Hand Embarrassment – I Kissed Your Mom, Bella Swan

Dear LTT-ers

Wow just WOW there’s so much 2nd hand Embarrassment in this video I don’t know where to start. I just want to turn it off or look away but these videos are like car crashes you just can’t stop staring in horror at the tangled mess. First off I think someone owes Katy Perry an apology for totally screwing over her song “I Kissed A Girl” cause OF COURSE they changed it to “I Kissed Your Mom” with a Jacob and Bella theme and then added in all kinds of terrible fan art.
Witness the offenses…

Yes, if you couldn’t tell this toddler on a motorbike cruising her way through what is obviously Forks, Washington is supposed to be Bella. Nothing says MILF like a bug eyed-anime eyed kid on a Little Tykes trike.

And OF COURSE what embarrassing picture video montage even remotely featuring Jacob is complete without this super creepy totally photoshopped picture. How long has this gross pic been floating around and people are STILL using it. Nice painted on wig, dude.

And I’ve saved the best part of the video for last…

I don’t know about you all but this is totally how I pictured the imprinting scene going down, complete with heart eyeballs and wolftail! Seriously??!! Come on people! Actually this might belong in Monday Funnies.

Make it stop!!

I kissed your mom and I liked it, her cougar lips invited… her hungry eyes, her quivering thighs… (wtf!)

Check out the rest of our 2nd hand embarrassment

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Twilosophy – Sad enough to quit reading the Twilight Saga?

twilightDear Twilosophy Majors-

I recently had an email conversation with an old friend who has just finished reading Twilight. I was excited (of course! a new convert!) and asked her if she’d finished the entire saga. She told me no, and that she decided to stop at the end of Twilight because it was consuming her thought life, her real life and making her depressed and sad. I was quite taken aback and wasn’t really sure what to say because OF COURSE I had been emotionally affected by the series how could you not be? And isn’t that normal? But that never once made me want to quit, in fact quite the opposite. I HAD to know how it ended. I had to know that even through it all: the drama, the conflict, the separation the October, November, December, January for God’s sake, that Bella and Edward would be together in the end. That they really would make it.

Which got me to thinking… can a book (or any work of art for that matter) be “good” if it doesn’t make you feel something?

Think about your favorite song, your favorite movie, your favorite piece of art… why do you like it? Sure music can be fun to listen to, movies entertaining, and art “pretty” but at the end of the day if it’s emotionally vacant it doesn’t stay with you. The stuff you connect with, the stuff that becomes your favorite speaks to you! I’ve always said what matters most to me about a piece of music are the lyrics. They’re the heart of the song for me because that’s what I remember and what gives me something to relate to. When I’m sad I wanna listen to Joni Mitchell for a reason, when I’m nostalgic for home I listen to Jimmy Eat World for a reason.

It’s the same with the Twilight Saga, it has all those components that we can relate to in our lives: Twilight has that first love jitters, New Moon has the deep dark sadness of losing someone, Eclipse has that feeling of being torn between two things you really care about and finally Breaking Dawn takes us in about every direction. But that’s why we love it! If it was a bland sugar coated fairy tale we wouldn’t all be sitting around here every day shooting the shit. God knows there’s a lot of other stuff to be doing, but because we’ve somehow all been personally touched by the Saga we want to discuss it and find other people like us here who can relate.

Don’t get me wrong I commend my friend for knowing herself enough to stop if something, even a book, was being personally destructive for her… but I also wonder if we don’t have those kinds of reactions to art or life in general what would the world be like? A lot of lukewarm moments, boring taupe walls and Kenny G songs?

Painting this wall red!

PS Stay tuned for the next Twilosophy installment when I break down the rest of my email discussion, involving relationships in and out of the Twi-dom

PPS Read other Twilosophy lectures

What do you think? Too emotional, must quit? Or must go on?

Update: LTT & LTR were mentioned (along w/ some of our other fav blogs) in the Greek version of Glamour mag. Weird? Crazy? Awesome! Whatever.. we love it! LTT/LTR mention in Greek Glamour

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