Time for a Newsdump: Everything NOT Twilight related aka Kellan shows us his Calvins!

Yo, it's about that time to bring forth the rhythm and the rhyme. I'm gonna get mine so get yours, I wanna see sweat comin' out ya pores!

Dear LTT-ers

I was just lamenting (yes it was quite sorrowful) on Twitter that there was simply NO news about Twilight out right now and that makes things awfully boring… but then I started researching and there’s TONS of non-Twilight specific news that our favorite friends are in… so let’s get to it!

  • The trailer for “The Runaways” comes out and I can’t help but think two things-  ONE: they look like little girls playing dress up and TWO: I hope Dakota gets to punch someone


Che-Che-Che-Cherry BOMB!!!

Wait, this isn't the Maxim cover shoot!

  • This is the prom dress you see on the rack at Goodwill and think, dude that would be perfect for my prom scene in “Can’t Buy Me Love” Halloween Costume (just right for doing the African Anteater dance in!)

Follow the cut for more news, less catfish, more abage for the cabbage and one special tatt00
Continue…

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Something's Different: No more new Twilight fans?

This is my Monday night date. You should SEE who I get on Thursdays..

Dear LTTers,

Something feels different. No, I don’t mean it’s been awhile since Ashley Greene was caught with some sort of Hollywood party boy (although it has been) nor do I mean that I haven’t cracked a joke about KStew’s mullet in awhile (although that’s true too). I just mean that this year, with the recent release of New Moon, feels quite different than last year after the release of Twilight. I can’t really put my finger on it exactly, but so far I’ve come up with this: Everyone is already a Twilight fan! Yes, my friends, Twilight has saturated the market. There are no new fans to be found. There is no one left who hasn’t tried out the books/movies and hated it (let’s burn them) or devoured the books in 36 hours and spent the next few months watching every clip ever mentioning “The Twilight Saga” online. It’s gotten as big as it’s going to get. Or…… has it? We received this letter the other day that had me questioning why I think something feels different:

Dear Twilight,

It’s been just over a month since that fateful Thursday, November 12, when I picked up my reserved copy of Twilight at my local library and finally started reading the first book of your saga. I was merely curious as to what was causing all of the hype and why my sister-in-law’s ideal man was named Edward Cullen. I figured with the movie, New Moon, coming out in a couple of weeks, now would be a good time to read this curiously popular book. I didn’t expect to stay up until 2am reading the first 375 pages, only forcing myself to bed because of work obligations the next morning. As I drifted off to sleep that night, my mind swirled with thoughts of Edward, Bella and the rest of the intriguing inhabitants of Forks, WA. The next day at work I was thankful that it was a Friday, but even more so I was excited to go (rush) home and finish the remaining pages of Twilight. I cracked open a bottle of red wine, broke off a piece of Ghirardelli’s Twilight Delight dark chocolate (I couldn’t resist!) and finished reading the remaining pages of Twilight. And so it began…

In all truth, I didn’t expect to like you. I didn’t expect to love you so much, re-reading you multiple times while awaiting my hold for New Moon to be filled at the library. Like so many others before me (apparently), I voraciously read the remainder of the saga in the next two weeks (only taking so long due to the wait at the library).

I can’t quite explain my new infatuation with you, and to be honest, my husband, at first, was a bit confounded, fearing that he would come home one day to find me all gothed-out and wearing white makeup. I assured him I had no desire to be a vampire. I don’t want to be Bella. I just love the characters and the inexplicable way it makes me feel when I read their story.

The saga is now #1 on my Christmas list this year, along with the special edition DVD.

Does her story sound familiar? Just maybe a year after yours? Read on after the jump! Continue…

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Ashley Greene balances out the universe while Kellan whores it out

Sit back and relax while we let our super pregnant reader Lisa take the wheel today!!

I’m so much hotter than you

Dear Ashley,

You don’t know me at all, and that’s ok. I was one of the 500+ people who waited in line to get an autograph and picture with you when you were at the opening of New Moon in Woodridge, IL. (Where? Yeah, no kidding. We all wondered why you were there too…) But you might remember me – I was the super pregnant 25 year old (which may or may not have resulted from looking at too many Vanity Fair photo shoots). Needless to say, I stood out a little among the high school crowd there on a “field trip.” I was not, however, the 42 year old woman who was asking you to sign her TwiCon poster. That was not me…I swear. I don’t want any confusion here…..

Anyhoo, I just wanted to say thanks for maintaining balance in the female world. See, you were a total b!tch to me and I find that awesome. When I tried to chat it up with you, you totally shot me down like a pro. Now, I understand that standing (or in your case sitting in a ridiculously plushy, high chair) for 5 hours signing autographs probably sucks slightly more than a 100 Monkey’s jam session. But by the time I saw you, it had only been, like 30 minutes. You weren’t that tired, I could tell. But you were stunning. Like, super-turn me into a fake lesbian, hot. So hot, in fact, that I changed my mind about the $20 picture with you and decided instead to be lame and pay you $20 to sign my book. That’s how much I didn’t want to stand next to your hotness in all my swollen-belly glory. But I digress. Truly I want to thank you. You maintained the hot-girl/ normal-girl-niceness ratio. See, you’re so gorgeous that you just can’t also be nice – it just can’t happen. It would screw things royally for us “normal” girls. We really only have our wits and kindness and moves in the sack (or behind a dumpster, you know, just in case). Hot girls have to be b!tches to maintain this delicate balance. If you were also kind, witty, and great between the sheets, the world just might implode. Or humans would cease to exist because no one would be procreating with us “normal” girls, obviously. So on behalf of “normal” girls everywhere who want to keep their boyfriend/husband/lover, I say THANK YOU!

I’d hug you but you’d probably call security,

Lisa

Dear Kellan,

You were also at the Woodridge, IL theatre signing autographs and it was equally amazing. You were the Twi-whore I was hoping for (I was dreaming of my future accountability partner, really). You flirted with EVERYTHING in sight…..girls were fawning over you, and you noticed. You even said I looked beautiful (even though I am totes huge and preggers) and told my sister she had great dimples (she does, doesn’t she!). Then, you signed my book “Lisa, I love you! Kellan Lutz” **whispers** You know what? I love you too!** My husband tried to tell me that you probably wrote that in everyone’s book, but I think he’s just jealous of our not-so-secret romance. ;)

Sigh,

Lisa

Thanks Lisa! I laughed so hard at your honesty today!

One Year later and our internet game is still ridiculous: The Forum, LTR, Twitter

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The Twilight cast celebrates LTT's 1 year anniversary

Dear LTTers,

Did you know that last night I threw a surprise 1 year anniversary party for UC and Moon? No I bet you didn’t. Know why? Cus I didn’t invite any of you. Know why? because I couldn’t afford the insurance it would have cost me to have people like Rob and Kellan and Taylor (especially Taylor) in the party with all you hungrily trying to get your piece. That’s right. I didn’t need Chris Hansen showing up at my attempt at a classy shindig for Moon and UC to celebrate Letters to Rob and Letters To Twilight’s 1st year anniversary. ‘Cus nothing dampers a party like implications of attempting to lure someone who’s underage into your bed. Anyways, the Twilight gang showed up. I know right? Amazing. Of course Jackson wasn’t there. I’m still not sure why… someone said something about a bad review of 100 monkeys and him “never getting past it”… psh. Whatever. We know things Jackson… Just be grateful we keep our mouths shut. So I got a chance to speak to some of the cast before they headed into the party… and I’ve got to say… they are ALL lovely. for the most part. sort of….

The first one on the carpet is Ashley… and she’s posing… she’s doing her best Susan Lucci and you’ve gotta love the girl for trying. Always the doll, she saunters over to me for a quick interview.

Why don't you ask me important things.. like why my hair is glittering like it's 1999?

Calliope: Ashley! Hey you look amazing… for once! okay twice maybe! who are you wearing?
Ashley: Who am I doing? well tonight I’m doing a Followhill brother. Or maybe chase crawford… crap what city am I in? That’s how I decide.
Calliope: I said who are you wearing not who are you doing.
Ashley: Oh? what? sorry I got distracted by Nikki’s lame’ dress…
Calliope: Right… anyways…so why are you here tonight? Why support LTT/LTR?
Ashley: Well like I’ve said before… even though we all claim to not read the internet or worry over gossip about ourselves we actually REALLY REALLY love it. One of our favorite places to drop by is LTT. Kristen seems to also like LTR for some reason… I think it’s because she’s doing Rob. Anyways, the one day I was reading the site and it struck me… these girls REALLY get me. They’d written something about my purity ring and I mean… they get it. It’s totally cool to flaunt ones sexual assets without actually doing it. Men respect that. Men want that. And I’ve had plenty of men. And the ring was totally a symbol of me re-saving it for Jackson. And they just knew!
Calliope: Your talking about your purity ring right Ashley?
Ashley: Yes.
Calliope: The purity ring you are noticeably not wearing right now.
Ashley: Umm… oh… well… *laughs nervously* look at that… hrm… ahh…
Calliope: I’m guessing Jackson’s not getting the re-saving anymore is he…
Ashley: Oh look at the time…. nice meeting you…

Ashley stalks off… because she is clearly wanting to be ogled and i think she may have tried to flash her panties for just a little more attention. Right on her heels though is the gorgeous Kellan.

Hey Calli, baby...

Kellan: *flashes his million watt smile and it takes me just a few moments to understand where I am* Hello gorgeous.
Calliope: Ummm… err…. uhhh…. hi.
Kellan: *smiling… and waiting….*
Calliope: Oh right. huh. yea. you want me to ask you a question. Why?!
Kellan: *amused* why what doll?
Calliope:  why… uh… here?
Kellan:  Why am I here?
Calliope: *shakes head… gulps*
Kellan:  Well at first I was apprehensive. It’s hard to live in the shadow of Rob and well, UC and Moon, they’ve got some serious Rob loving going on. but then I remembered the one post I read. and I knelt in prayer and knew what I had to do. So I’m here seeking forgiveness.
Calliope: forgiveness? *turns on sexy voice* what could hunky, desirable, sex-a-licious you *CallI runs a finger up Kellan’s chest* have possibly done wrong?
Kellan: please don’t do that. I am a person. Not just a hunk of man-meat for you to stare at.
Calliope: *clears throat* umm… yes… sorry… of course not.
Kellan: thank you.
Calliope: so you were saying… you are here for forgiveness.
Kellan: *hangs head in shame* yes… I want to ask UC and Moon to forgive me for causing them to have impure thoughts in their youth. It was never my intention. *begins to tear up* Abercrombie lured me in with their plaids and catchy phrases… *lets out a huge sub* I DIDN”T KNOW! I SWEAR I DIDN’T KNOW!
Calliope: *feels awkward* umm… of course not Kellan. *pats him lightly* there there.
Kellan:  excuse me *runs away bawling*

Kellan runs away bawling… and who should saunter up behind him but the joy of my existence. (Read the rest, after the jump) Continue…

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New Moon Premiere – UC and Moon see cast, crew and Dick!

Dear New Moon,

We came (ahem), we sorta saw, we maybe conquered!

Since we didn’t camp out like the faithful Twihard fans we knew it would be a crap shoot showing up to the premiere in Westwood with a gaggle of girls, but UC needed to at least get a glimpse of Rob to make sure this last year wasn’t just a crazy psycho dream and these people that we talk about every day actually existed and since this we be my um.. forth time seeing Rob I was more than happe to give it a go! So we hauled booty over to where the entire fandom seemed to be converging. On our way we heard both KOL’s Sex on Fire and Miley Cyrus’ Party In the USA and knew it was an omen for good things ahead. Once we parked and headed towards the madness we saw Mr. Kaleb Nation aka The Twilight Guy headed in search of more glitter paint or maybe it was a restroom but we flagged him down and finally met someone we had been Twitter stalking for the last month. Another omen.

After that we pushed our way up to the barricade and ended up right across the street from the theater and the end of platform where the radio DJ guy was interviewing everyone as they showed up. We were also conveniently located next to at least two sets of crazy protesters. Why they thought the NM premiere was the optimal place for their protest posters and high pitched screaming, I’ll never know.

So here’s pretty much what happened…

We showed up to the premiere…


Look who was happy to see us!

Ok… ok… just kidding! I mean they were happy to see us they just didn’t know it.


Some lovely gal took our picture… right as a news van drove by and cut out the theater in the back ground! Thanks.

We were surrounded by crazy, loud, cool, and some totally awful fans…

obviously Rosalie Cullen got lost and ended up near the theater with her red wig


Robsten lives… in this 12yr olds heart

Follow the cut for a TON of pictures and video and crazy protesters and hot Rob and us!
Continue…

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