Storytime with Moon: People’s Choice Awards 2011

R: OMG we're at a People's Choice Awards... K: just smile.... T: HAHAHAOMGHA

Dear LTT-ers,

Wednesday night I hoofed it all the way from West Hollywood to Downtown LA to attend the People’s Choice Awards with @bitemebaker and the lovely gals from Twilightish. Sadly, the drivers of LA did NOT know where I was headed and decided to hold up traffic like it was Sunday driving time with their grandma’s. Didn’t they know I had to see whether the trinity would  take pity on us poor poor sad bored fans and give us a little tiny clip of something from Breaking Dawn, ANYTHING? Well spoiler alert: They didn’t! And didn’t the drivers of LA know I needed to get to the Nokia Theater to see whether Kid Rock would wear leather or fur? Spoiler Alert: he wore BOTH (swoon/vom.). No, they didn’t but maybe the driver’s of LA knew I didn’t need to see Selena Gomez “perform” whatever her song is and didn’t need to see Johnny Depp not show up to accept an award that Rob didn’t win. So as it turns out the drivers of LA know me pretty well and getting to the awards almost an hour late was perfect because I sat down right as AnnaLynn McCord was coming out to present! Oh memories…. I was hoping she’d get an award for People’s Choice for best deep throating of a fruit or vegetable but sadly she lost. I mean she presented something else.

Never thought I'd say Ashley Tisdale was the luckiest girl on the stroll last night

So it must be known that the trinity wasn’t ushered in till right before Kristen’s award where they shuffled in whoever was going to win next to sit in the front row with the only semi celeb they could get to show up and stay in the audience: Ashley Tisdale. So either the Summit private jet was late in arriving or Rob, Kristen and Taylor had WAY more fun getting plastered (on virgin cocktails of course) at the open bar backstage with Jenny Anisten. Easy choice.

How did we spot them you ask? Well I noticed good ol Dean standing down in the front row and I was like wow that big dude looks like Dean and maybe that guy sitting down kinda has Taylor’s complexion… and wow, is that Kristen’s hair and ok that must be Rob in that weird tan colored jacket. Wait, doesn’t he know it’s January, aren’t there some kind of fashion rule about that? Then I stopped talking to myself and we all stood up to get a better look and twwwwweeeet.

Move bitch, get out the way!

They sat down on the front row and any time a commercial break happened Dean would stand up and then like 10 dudes would rush in from stage right and surround them. It became clear why this was necessary when some girl made an ill prepared attempt at trying to meet the trinity and instead got one-hand-Heismen-trophy-posed out of the way by Dean. It was amazing. And then sad because the trinity has to be protected like the latest shipment of Air Jordans to your local Foot Locker. Then I remembered they make a billion gajillion dollars and a felt less sad for them.

This is what it looked like when I took a covert cell phone shot. MOooohahahaha
(Please love the care and precision with which this image was made)

So then finally Kristen won the award for best actress or whatever and Taylor became my favorite by helping Kristen up the stairs by taking her hand. Start some conspiracies yall, just cause I love them so much! It’s a PR ploy you guys! It’s really Taysten! Krislor lives! Ok, whatever Kristen goes up there and thanks everyone blah blah blah.

Another commercial break and Queen Latifah breaks through Dean and the defensive line down front to say hi to the Trinity.

and then we were witness to one of the more embarrassing moments of the twidom.

I know it’s all in good fun and it’s Queen Latifah trying to be cute and MAN are those guys good sports (give the trinity snaps) but seriously? Cause I was 2nd hand embarrassed and I was like hundreds feet away from them and I was shrinking in my seat. It was embarrassing as a Twifan. ugh. We are not all lunatics (says the twiblogger).

Is this really happening to us??

Mercifully some producer saves us all and wrestles the mic away from Queen Latifah so someone could give out an award. At this point the trinity was not being ushered out so I knew we had to be at the end of the show and it was pretty clear Twilight “won” for best movie. I mean it’s the People’s Choice awards they give the award to whoever shows up.

Ashton Kutcher took a night off filming Canon Camera commercials to come give away an award with Princess Amidala and SHOCKER Twilight WON!!!! ZOMG!!! I had no idea it would!!!!!

The trinity ascended to the stage and thankfully Rob recognized his and Kristen’s lack of public speaking prowess and pushed Taylor up to accept the award. Taylor recited his lines correctly but BONUS he made an awkward refrence to Katy Perry’s joke/euphamism about the awards being heavy like her boobs. UMMMM awkward turtle!!! Either Taylor got the joke or he made it even funnier by NOT getting the boob reference. Either way WIN. Then I crossed my fingers Taylor would surprise us with a teeeny tiny clip, a flash, a picture ANYTHING from Breaking Dawn but alas. NOTHING. Help us out Summit!! The natives are getting restless! I’m scared!

I'd like to thank John Stamos without whom this outfit would NOT be possible!

Next, Kristen said some stuff and her dress strap fell while talking and Taylor, being the gentleman he is, rushed to push it up. CONSPIRACY!!! PLOYS!!!! (anyone, anyone?!). Then Rob said some stuff and thanked John Stamos for letting him raid the “Jesse Catsopulous Closet” while he was at the party last summer.  Then they all got on a private jet parked on the roof of the Nokia and flew back to the town with no cameras, paparazzi or internet access, better known as Baton Rouge.

The end.

Congrats to Twilight for winning some People’s Choice Awards! Now give me a set picture and no one get’s hurt.
Themoonisdown

Did you watch? Were you in ANYWAY surprised they won? Were you making hoping JUST A LITTLE that there would be something special? Did you feel box blocked? Also share your conspiracy theories!

Thanks Eclipsemovie.org, Robsessed, whoever tagged some of these photos, Twilightish

Oh- we ruled at blogging today and BOTH posted on LTT- so don’t miss the other letter for today!

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTR, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

142 Commented


Kristen Stewart: Love her? or Hate her?

Someone sent us an email yesterday with some “suggestions” and one of them was “be nicer to KStew.” We took it to heart. Kinda. We have two different fan letters offering some KStew love and some KStew, uh, not love. PS this is long. But worth it. Trust

Kristen Stewart – Stop Making Me Feel Bad For You.

Dear Kristen,

Do you have a lot of free time on your hands? Did the long break between New Moon and Eclipse make you go a little crazy? Because I do not see any other case why you would be haunting my dreams trying to make me feel bad for you. Yes, I call you a possum behind or your back, and tell anyone who will listen about your “keen acting style,” which I describe as a combination of blinking and the stuttering random incoherent sentences. And honestly, you get to kiss one of the hottest pieces of ass out there right now, so maybe i’m just slightly jealous of you so I talk shit about you. GET OVER IT. Its not cool to come into my dreams, also known as my Rob Fantasy Time, and be all awkward and pathetic. I know you are like that in person too, but for some strange reason my dream self feels bad for you instead of just annoyed like I am. Right now. With you. Do you not have better things to do then to bug me? Are Michael Oregano’s texts becoming far and fewer in between? You know, maybe if you don’t want him to know your secretly banging Rob on set you could try to not look so DAMN SATISFIED every time your around him. Its downright nauseating. But anyways, since you seem to have all this extra time to PESTER me with, I have come up with some ideas on how to kill some time.

  • Shower Daily. I know this one seems like a hassle and Rob likes you dirty, but damn girl. I could deep fry some french fries with the grease coming out of your hair. And maybe while you’re in there you can sing little melodies to yourself like the one you sing in Into The Wild – because HOT DAMN that was shit was B.O.M.B., right?
  • Find Shirts That Fit You Correctly. This I think will help you kill time the most. You seem to think that if you just knot your shirt on the side then its good to go – its not. INSTEAD, why don’t you just buy clothes in your size? Judging by the recent picture I saw of you, I’d say you’re about a 2 days from anorexic, or maybe 3. I can’t be sure, but that’s what dressing rooms are there for. (I KNOW!! Who’s of thought people would want to try stuff on before they bought it!!? Crazy!!)
  • Get Back Together With Michael. Now you are not the President so I’m pretty sure you don’t give a shit about your approval rating, but I am telling you it will SKYROCKET if you get back with Michael and let everyone think Rob is available again. Plus, Michael seems like a pretty good guy, and I’m sure after a bong and a half old memories will come rushing back to you – and you’ll wonder what you ever saw in the smelly unclean British boy.
  • Go Be A Guest Star On a Crappy TV Show Trying To Be Like Twilight. Have you heard of all the ones they’ve made? Its almost ridiculous – I can’t keep up. But if you’re wanting to kill some time and feel like showing off those acting chops, I’m sure any show would be ECSTATIC to have you. It’d be like a visit from the mother ship, the creator, their very reason for being – Or at least that is how your agent could pitch it so you get mega $$ for doing like 10 minutes of some blinking and sighing. I wouldn’t want to burden you with having to learn actual lines that you’ll probably just change anyway to something more artistic. You know add a couple um’s, you know’s, like’s, uh’s and mMm’s – signature KStew Style.
  • Try To NOT Get Photographed Doing Illegal Things. In case you forgot, you are not invisible. So every time you go outside to light up a little MaryJane, we can all see you. And those of us with cameras are going to take advantage of it. You might have noticed that one time when you and Michael were smoking on what looks like your front porch some bright flashes. NO, those were not hallucinations from some DOPE SHIT, those were camera flashes snapping away as you slowly get stoned. Then this summer I saw leaked pictures of you sipping on some Heinkien. Honey, we’re in America and in case you didn’t get around to noticing – the drinking age here is 21.

*Sigh* I’m hoping you’ll put my suggestions to good use. I know you’re a busy girl, but these things could really help your image too. You’ll be cleaner and well-liked, and I’ll sleep better and stop being angry for feeling bad for you. Its a WIN WIN. Now, listen up closely Stewart if I see your face again after I post this I’m going to take that as a F*CK YOU, JanuaryMorning. Which, in which case means all out war – and you will lose. K, great – well I’m glad we got this all cleared up and I confessed all the things I say about you so when we meet you’re not surprised or anything.

Hoping To NEVER See You (in my dreams) Again,
January Morning

That was the KStew love letter. Read the hate after the jump. Continue…

178 Commented


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