We ask to the new Breaking Dawn Part 2 Stills: WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?

Dear LTT,

Moon & I are back together again and we just got a chance to peek at the latest Breaking Dawn Part 2 stills. And today we’re ask “WHAT IS GOING ON HERE” which despite its fancy new name is basically the same as Breaking it Down, Vanity Fair Style…


UC:  I think this is the moment when God came down to Carlisle and made him attractive… for the first time since Twilight… he’s been annointed… look-  his head is glowing!
Moon: clearly the ice truck killer dude and the denali girls just got back from a european vacation a la national lampoons european vacation where they buy ridiculous italian leather outfits
UC: but then Edward is like “Wait a sec…. that’s my dad.. I’m supposed to be the hottest”
and also Bella is just trying hard not to fall over since she hasn’t eaten in 3 weeks
Moon: also i agree carlisle actually looks attractive again. for the first time since 2008. geez
UC: WAY too long to keep those good looks from us
Moon: OMG the shirt is knotted. I CANT
UC: NO it is!?
Moon: yes– look closely
UC: then if that’s the case they are all looking at the director saying “serious? knotted?”
Moon: and the sweater arms pulled down over the hands. another I CANT
UC: haha clearly you never lived somewhere cold
Moon: this is so party of five / felicity / WB teen drama– the “I’m so small and vulnerable and look this sweater is so big” STOP
UC: it really is cropped circa 1995 isn’t it
Moon: God is telling carlisle to tell them ALL to stop with those outfits
UC: thats it.. you figured it out!


 Moon: omg i dont know if i can break things down now without mentioned the affair/Krupertgate
UC: I know. i can’t look at it without IMMEDIATELY thinking about it. Here’s a game. You HAVE to say 3 positive things about WHAT IS GOING ON HERE.
Moon: ok
UC: Her hair looks nice. It’s probably not real though
Moon: the red eyes dont look fake
UC: You’re right. And I like that color Blue
Moon: Yes she looks good in blue.. LIKE BELLA
Moon: is that three?
UC: yes! PHEW! That was hard. NEXT


Moon: i just keep thinking about that picture of the fake Renesmee with the dog picture
UC: hahah really? (You mean this picture of course)
Moon: Well here I think Renesmee is showing Bella her plans for her and jakes future wedding… the dress she drew. also who sets out hillshire farm sausage and crackers for santa.???

(….. silence…)

Moon: Hello!??
UC: I’m sorry. I’m busy photoshopping a dog into that picture. THE dog. Except there’s a random hand on the dog. But I don’t care.

There. That’s better:

Hey Guys! Don’t forget me!


UC: Okay What’s going on here?
Moon: Nessie is feeling the baby in edwards stomach… he does have birthing hips after all. Also if this jacket wasn’t robs to begin with he stole it after. It is SO rob
UC: He’s actually probably giving her advice right there on how to steal clothes from the set
Moon: i think Summit saved a few bucks by letting the cast wear their own clothes
UC: she wants her jacket since it kinda matches her on set daddy’s
Moon: his first lesson in how to steal wardrobe is having her help him steal that jacket- shes moving her hand towards the zipper to help him hid it in her skirt
UC: yep. dream team Rob and MacKenzie
Moon: pickpockets. they’re gonna take their show to the subway next– try to get some wallets, some pocket change. Maybe some wurther’s….


Moon: i’m not gonna lie, i’ve been pretty sad recently thinking about twilight– and this makes me super duper sad
UC: awwwwwwwww
Moon: dont leave us smeyer!
Moon: we need to kidnap her and take her to griffith park and reenact this and our and our pocket edward video <— watch that again
UC: I feel like that’s what’s going on here… it’s a sign to us… “KIDNAP ME LTT GIRLS”
Moon: we’ll take you stephenie!!!! show up at one of our doorsteps and we’ll gladly kidnap you
UC: but it’s BYOPE– bring your own pocket edward
Moon: PS FBI who just put us on a watch list – we’re kidding!
UC: I’m gonna knock you over the head with our replica Cullen Crest
Moon: HAHAH– she wakes up and we’re all in matching bella’s birthday dresses from hot topic
UC: We’d be the best kidnappers– force her to drink Bella’s Blood (sangria)
Moon: ok i cant look at her face any longer  * waaaah *
UC: wahhhh


Moon: I bet the locket has a picture of rupert sanders. HAHAHAA. I’m the worst. And renesemee is very confused
UC: hahahahahahaha …. Yes–  what IS bella showing her? “and this is where daddy & mommy made you Nessie”
“made me? How did you make me?”
ps that child has great hair– maybe in the locket is a picture of what her hair might look like if she starts using products like DEP and Aussie spray in crunchie gel. Pictures to horrify her
Moon: It’s a picture of that “if they mated” photo of what rob and kristens child would look like or maybe one of the many, many manips out there of her and “daddy”

And so there you have it– Our thoughts on WHAT IS GOING ON HERE


UnintendedChoice and ThemoonisDown

*wahhhhhh* it’s not almost over is it!?

38 Commented

We wish you a Cullen Christmas

Dear LTTers,

Merry Christmas Eve! If you don’t celebrate Christmas, merry time of year when everyone says “Merry Christmas” to you and you look at them and say, “But I don’t celebrate Christmas” and they stare back at you, not understanding, in a santa hat!

Moon and I have objected ourselves to 2nd-hand embarrassment, yet again, to wish you a very Merry Christmas.


UC & Moon

After the jump, read all the wonderful lyrics penned by @Brookelockart, Moon & myself. Print them out and have a family sing-a-long around the dinner table tomorrow! Continue…

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