Chris Weitz Porn– err pom

This begins our countdown until next week when both Moon & I enter a new stage in our jobs where we can find time for each other longer than a quick “Hi FML” for 5 minutes each day. 5 days to go…

Dear LTT,

I know, I know we’ve done the Alpaca Llama thing to death. I mean, Taylor looks like a llama! There are llama farms in Forks! Haha. So funny. But as luck would have it, an anonymous LTTer (not me, but anonymous for her or his(!) dignity’s sake) had a dream in which Chris Weitz was a Pomeranian. It was one of those Princess and the Frog type of story lines in which she or he(!) kisses the pooch and it becomes the DILF (x2 almost, btw!). The catch being that after ten seconds of the most recent human kiss, he turns back into the Pomeranian. Very awkward indeed.

When she or he told me about this dream, I knew there was only one rational response. Since I’m a good friend and really love procrastinating, I felt the only thing I could do was create, say, a minimum of five mash-ups of Chrispom (which, adorably, looks a lot like Chrisporn):

After that happened and I increased the day’s happiness levels for everyone who received the Chrispom, an email thread regarding “We should do the other directors! David Slade clearly is a naked mole rat” ensued. These were the results:

 

 

As you can see, Taylor is not the only one who can be compared to a domestic and/or wild animal to bring about happiness in one’s day.

Chrispom Forever!!!

With Kind Regards,

Team Seth

In other news, Team Seth’s letter today informed me that Alpacas=Lamas. I did not know this. I might be dumb.

Remember this from the good ol’ days?

 

GUYS: I’m going to the Sam Bradley/Marcus Foster show tonight. Hold me! – UC xx

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTR, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

47 Commented


We saw Breaking Dawn and we are Fade to Sad-isfieid

*REMINDER: You can mute the sound from the ads on the sidebar AND at the bottom of the page. They will stay muted forever. YAY! Now read in blessed silence*

**BREAKING DAWN REVIEW COMPLETE WITH SPOILERS DUH!!! DON’T READ IF YOU HAVEN’T SEEN BD AND DON’T WANT TO BE SPOILED!**

Forever is only the beginning

Dear Breaking Dawn,

Remember when we said Eclipse was a real movie last July? Well we hadn’t seen you yet. That’s right, just like fine wine and George Clooney, Twilight keeps getting better with age. And with age comes wisdom… here’s what we’ve learned from Breaking Dawn

Things we learned from Breaking Dawn:

  • If we hold hands in public it’s for two reasons: we are either 2nd hand embarrassed at all the Robsten fans squeeling at any kiss/hand hold/dadward/sex scene or we were genuinely scared or grossed out. Cause that happens in this. BD is NOT for the faint of heart.
  • Forget Bella, Edward and Jacob the REAL love triangle of Breaking Dawn is Sue, Charlie and Billy. Cause for realzzzz yall something is going on with the parents. Breaking Dawn has something for every age… There’s still hope after 40!
  • Becoming a vampire means instant boob job, shiny shiny Ashley Greene type hair and a permanent smoky eye. Oh and not to mention the blood red crazy eyes. You think someone will ask for this on Dr. 90210 next season?
  • Twilight movies can be funny for the RIGHT reasons no longer are Bella and Edward going on a drug trip in the Pacific ocean or slow-mo forest running in Anne of Avonlea clothes, there are moments like the wedding toasts which make you LOL because it’s really funny or when BooBoo Stewart and Taylor Lautner have actual funny Big Brother/Little Brother interaction.

His name's BooBoo... yea I know I don't get it either

  • Speaking of BooBoo Stewart, he had more lines in Breaking Dawn than Kellan has had in all the Twilight movies combined. And his name is BOOBOO. Time to get a new agent Kellan.
  • The CGI team used to create the wolfpack earned overtime concealing Kristen’s buttcrack because her gorgeous dress was cut so low in the back. Who knew butt cleavage would be the new IT thing in wedding fashions? Thanks Carolina!
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  • Give Jackson ANY word it doesn’t matter he will throw that faux Texas accent on it and add the Elvis lip curl and make it into a one word stand up comedy routine. We’re still trying to figure out if this is an intentional choice by him or just dumb luck.

Peter sucks at Rock, Paper, Scissors

  • Someone will ALWAYS get shafted and be wearing some sort of heinous wig on their head. Unfortunately, Peter Facinelli drew the short straw this time and to make matters worse, I’m pretty sure his hair line changed in every scene as if the bleached dead animal on his head was taking it last gasps of air before it gave in to it’s inevitable future: lying on top of Mike Dexter’s head.
  • Taylor deserves an award for making the imprinting scene less creepy than we thought it would come off and thank you Bill for showing Renesmee as an adult so everyone else would get it and Chris Hansen could stop hiding in the movie theater broom closet and sit down and enjoy the movie like the rest of us.

Can you not read my lips?! LISTEN CAREFULLY!!

  • Wolves fighting with each other via mind reading is confusing and weird for people not in the know maybe they could have had a fist fight on First Beach or an angry G-chat session instead so I didn’t have to explain what was going on to the super confused couple next to me.
  • Housekeepers in Brazil are super rude and stare a lot… especially when they think their employer is a blood sucking demon. However, the blood sucking demon offers great benefits and a 401k so they keep their mouths shut and keep bringing the eggs.
  • Critics may pan you and haters may hate but ya know what? This ain’t for them. They don’t KNOW Bella and Edward like we do, they aren’t invested like we are. These movies are for us… and the boyfriends and unicorns we drag along with us.
  • The heardboard scene still makes me laugh. HARD.

Babe, let's sleep in tomorrow and go to the 2nd service

  • You know what makes losing your virginity to a preternaturally strong vampire better? Losing it while a song fit for the contemporary service on a Sunday morning plays in the background! For reals though, best song and best scene. Sleeping at Last gets a big HALE YES from us.
  • Speaking of Breaking Hymen, REALLY Bella losing your virginity to a 107 year old virgin was the best night of your life? Maybe the best 50 seconds of your life. Or maybe you’ve got your rose colored glasses on and are romanticizing it a bit.

We do have to say though: Stephenie, thank you (from the bottom of our easily 2nd hand embarassed hearts) for stepping in and not letting them make a Robsten Porno out of the honeymoon sex scenes. THANK YOU!!! It was just right, not too much and not too little… it was perfectly executed so consider us fade to sad-isfied!

Really we loved it… and can’t wait to see it again (and again… and probably again with 10 other people) and then we’ll do some more in depth reviews.

GO SEE BREAKING DAWN! NOW!
Moon & UC

PS See more Breaking Dawn Black Carpet coverage at LTR today! I get Rob-blocked by a certain someone!

PPS Go visit VH1’s Fablife to see yours truly featured as their Super Fans! And Comment!!!

So did you see it?!  WHAT DID YOU THINK!? Favorite scene? Any laughable moments?

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTR, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

215 Commented


Storytime with LTT: Breaking Dawn Red Carpet and our new obsessions & I gotta feeling…

They actually let us in!!

Dear LTT-ers,

As you know, Monday we attended the black carpet premiere of The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 1 (say that 5 times fast after spending 4 hours on the carpet, not eating and an open bar at the after party). Since we were asked to represent Letters to Twilight on the Twilight fansite/press section of the carpet we came prepared with a handycam, a couple iPhones, questions and some killer heels.

So since we fancy now, I’ll just let us, via video, take it away with the introduction…

Please forgive us for the WORST camera angle of ALL time. ALL.TIME.

After a microphone snafu which made me beg like 10 friends for microphones we picked up our GOLD mic (which would later turn into a talking point during our interviews) and busted arse to Nokia Live because we thought we were late to check in but as with all events, they were running way behind. So while we stood in the press check in line between some old grizzled Australian cameraman talking to some newswoman with a football helmet for hair about their days at the ’96 Olympics I gave myself a little sidewalk mani


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After some mob rule style check in we found this little beauty greeting us…

We knew we had arrived.
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We then met up with Val from Twilight Poison who we would be teamed up with that night along with Lindsay from Team Twilight and Tracy from Twilightish.
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After we sat up the too short tripod, plugged in the spray painted gold microphone I borrowed from a friend and the handycam I stole from my Dad who bought it to capture my new niece (nothing but the best yall!) we decided to run around like we knew what we were doing getting b-roll and trying not to photo/video bomb EVERYONE’s intro videos… minus that blond kid who looked like he was from the Disney Channel. I definitely ran into him while he was asking some fans about being Team Edward or Team Jacob. Team give me a break people!! COME ON!

After we were all set up UC was whisked away to a different section and I picked up that klassy gold mic cause it was time to DO THIS! Let me just give a shout out to Lindsay from Team Twilight because we rocked the questions together for a lot of our interviews. Between us working the questions and record buttons and juggling mics and press alerts and Vale and Tracy on still cameras we were working ALL the angles. That is definitely what she said.

So of course we got about 8 gabillion little interviews with every vampire in the free world from A to Z  list cast and we’ll definitely bring you those soon because there’s some CLASSIC moments in those along with some wah wah waaaaah moments. In the spirit of keeping this post from taking us 10 hours to write we’ll bring you the best of the best in this post…

Speaking of the best… THIS GUY!!! Wyck is officially my new obsession… well besides our two other new obsessions whom we shall reveal later but srsly… WYCK GODFREY you guys. Letters to Wyck… Oh wait that exists. Enjoy his little dance.

Speaking of seeing Renesmee here’s little Mackenzie Foy making her first Twilight appearance! How flipping cute is this kid?

And really, the first family mother and daughter in blue?! Stop is guuuuiiize! Next you’re gonna tell me you scheduled a Christmas card photo shoot on the beach in matching white tshirts and blue jeans.
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Dude, Bella and Edward don’t need Prof. Kinsey in BD Part 2?! Hold on to your butts ladies cause Fade to Sad could get Fade to HOT DAMN in part 2 if Bill’s not pulling a Rob on us and totally making shiz up. #TeamBill
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And the winner of Best Dressed at the Breaking Dawn Pt 1 Premiere award goes to…
TWO WAY TIE between Jacky’s creepy crushed velvet children’s birthday party magician look and Dean’s girlfriend (she likes man jewelry) with the stomach cut out jump suit. All that’s missing from this look is a velvet turban… and regret.
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That’s right we asked a good question Melissa!

Then this happened…

Yes, he was this close to me… This will get it’s own letter at LTR and it’s own video because moments of immense hope and moments of great lose deserve to be immortalized forever on a blog. Duh.

We didn’t have too long to cry because things on the red carpet move like Bella driving a motorcycle (Twilight jokes!): at break neck speed, throwing caution to the win, with the hopes of hearing Rob, I mean Edward’s voice and sometimes ending in a big crash and burn. Oh it happened.

But with tragedy comes greatness… enter Stephenie Meyer…

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Then THIS happened…

Yes, that is for all you LTT readers and commenters. The.Best.

After this came Taylor and Kristen and Rob again but because of time constraints and the film starting we could only get within inches of them, gold mic poised and question hanging in mid air before they were whisked away by handlers. “BOO you whores.” But really after that kind of shout out from Stephenie who needs the trinity……… this time.

There is SOOOOOO much more to come we can’t possibly cover it all in one post so stick with us… same LTT time, same LTT channel…

Moon and UC

PS you guys… the MOVIE… the movie…the.movie. we’ll talk soon.
PPS I’m going to act like my weird valley girl-esque accent can not be heard in all these videos. Please also do the same

So were you watching the live feeds at home? Were you there at the premiere? Are you in serious love with Wyck?

We couldn’t have done it without our partners in crime on the carpet: Twilight Poison, Team Twilight and Twilightish. Go visit them, follow them on Twitter and like them on Facebook to see their take on the premiere!

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTR, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

94 Commented


Storytime with Moon: Breaking Dawn Con – show me your finger guns

*so i guess everyone at the con is still too hungover to post pics so I will keep updating this with decent ones as I find them… till them enjoy my iphone shots*

Dear LTT-ers,

Saturday I went to Breaking Dawn Con (it rhymes and it’s killing me) not only to see the Trinity and The Cullens and Bill Condon and the Ice Truck Killer but because I was invited to be a Panelist. Yes, you read that right. Yours truly was invited to be on the “Twilight Family of Fansites” panel. I know, I’m as shocked as you are but I was extastic as well because we have tons of amazing and funny readers who need to be represented among the fandom! And really who doesn’t want to sit between Twimoms and TwiSource and #humblebrag a bit?

So I roll up to the Con hosted at… none other than the scene of Eclipse Con AAANNNDDD (most importantly of all) our interview with Stephenie Meyer, the Hyatt Century City (cue your oh’s and ah’s) conveniently located across the street from the Death Star… aka the CAA offices. I find the registration line and march my happy bootay up to collect my credentials because I was like 2 seconds away from the “surprise footage” they were promising. I told the lady my name and she (with a bit of attitude) said ummm did you buy a ticket… or would you like to? I then told her as a matter of fact I’m actually a panelist today and guest of Summit Entertainment. Registration lady turns her frown upside down and tells me in her sweet voice “Well, then come over here to our special VP check in!” THAT’S more like its registration lady, VIP! Thinking she must be joking I then receive this little number…

Oh yes, I fancy now!

Then I took my special wristband and hauled ass to the hall to catch the special footage… but not without being told to “fist pump for wristbands” by the Con staff so that they could see our wrist bands. So I guess the Con staff were super DTF. Too bad they couldn’t get Pauly D to DJ the “wedding reception” party.

I caught the special footage just in time to see clips from BD including Bella getting ready for the wedding… when Charlie and Renee came in to give her the hair combs I may have had a little moment. You guizzeee this is like the  beginning of the end!

Then it was time to get rolling with some cast panels…

First up Christian Camrago and Mia Maestro aka vamps from the Denali clan made their first appearance at a Twicon. Oh man. First off Mia is ridiculously beautiful like WOAH. Even from the VIP section in the waaaaay back (thanks) she was gorge. And then Brian… I mean Rudy… I mean Christian. Let’s just say I’ve been a Dexter fan since season 1 so this was like the prosthetics doctor come to life.

DEXTER SPOILER- Someone asked Christian if he would ever return to Dexter and I sat there wondering how the HALE that was possible since his character Brian/Rudy was killed in the first season but I’m here to tell you I just saw the previews for next week’s episode and it looks like Brian is Dexter’s new dark passenger!!!!!!!! My friend and I screamed. DUDE. The.best.show!!!

After telling us what a grandpa he was because he learned about the Twitters from the fandom and how to use it, Mia outted Christian as a bird watcher! Yup, these are all things you missed Saturday while you were off doing things like getting your hairs did, catching up on your DVR or picking at your split ends… I was learning which new twi cast member likes to watch birds. JEALOUS?? He then regaled us with a story of hiking in Vancouver to see his favorite bird: the bald eagle. Cue cheers from the audience. I AM NOT JOKING. People cheered for a bald eagle mention. Sure, we’re all at a TWILIGHT convention but dude bald eagles? People were really owning their nerd up in there.

After that I knew I needed a quick break (drink) before The Cullen family panel… so what do they have out in the lobby?

A bar solely devoted to the BD Con located just steps from the hall! So clearly, Creation Entertainment and the hotel got my “fan petition” (just my signature 10,000 times) after the Eclipse Con begging them to provide any way to help make the screams of “Robsten!” and “Jacob take off your shirt!” disappear.  Any coincidence the majority of the people in this line were MEN? Nope. Of the 10 men in the entire audience 9 of them where in this line.

Next Melissa Rosenberg came out to represent for tall girls everywhere (Holla!). She pretty much talked about how fans freak out over the fact you can’t do a word by word adaptation of the book. What movie studio is going to finance a 7 hours movie? And REALLY who cares if Edward was wearing an oatmeal sweater or a tweed suit? Melissa needs to read our “accept it now” posts because WE GET IT MEL. We.get.it. The Twi world will keep turning even though Bella got on a motorcycle in front of Edward. THE HORROR.

Next up… The Cullen Family Panel
Peter Facinelli, Elizabeth Reaser, Jackson Rathbone(r) and Ashley Greene. Oddly enough Nikki Reed was scheduled to appear but must have been caught in traffic after making a mid afternoon cougar-rita run with Cathi Hardi. Also surprisingly absent: Kellan Lutz, since we know Kellan loves a Twicon like TBN loves a closeted gay man playing a gold piano (yay, obscure christian TV reference!). But since I follow Kellan’s twitter religiously (is there any other way?) I know he’s filming something in Indonesia. Sad days friends, no Kellan.

No matter though we got plenty of Peter and Jackson moments. I don’t know what it is about a Twicon, maybe it’s the room full of women screaming semi obscene things but the men on stage really get into it and the ladies look freaked out most of the time. When asked to comments on how their looks change in each movie and to comment on their latest look Peter said “I’ll pass.” Too bad you didn’t say “I’ll pass” when they put that heinous Carlisle comb-over wig on your head.

After the Sullens (typo and it stays!) panel was over there was an announcement that there would be a surprise Charlie Bewley Q&A before the Holy Trinity panel. So clearly, there was either a long line at the In N Out drive through or Kristen knotted her shirt too tight over her pants she couldn’t get it undone to go to the bathroom.

Have no fear though, Charlie Bewley was there to kill 10 minutes by taking impromptu questions and screamed suggestions from the audience (shuffle! take your shirt off!). I actually could have asked Charlie about amazing film I just saw him in called Like Crazy, but I couldn’t break up the dance party for one he was having on stage, so I hit that bar outside the hall for a diet coke, cause shiizzz was about to get real.

FINALLY it was time for the main event, the Holy Trinity and Bill Condon! I had my five dollar diet coke, my iphone and my last grip on sanity and it was time…

I love the sea of cameras and phones you can see in their picture I took from the way back.
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Watch the whole 30 minutes here… have a brown paper bag handy to breath into and earmuffs.

If you were following along on Twitter or watching this live you know the exact moment I wanted to crawl under the hotel ballroom chairs and die. Yup, some GENIUS in the audience decided to yell out “My boyfriend’s English!!!” Cause nothing endears your favorite actress to you like yelling out embarrassing crap in a room filled with thousands of people. GREAT JOB Robsten/Kristen fans!


Don’t worry Kristen all the sane people in the room were doing the EXACT same thing.

With that out of the way we got down to the important questions: What do those contacts feel like?!


This is what I want to do everytime I hear that question or “What’s it like to have your shirt off all the time?” “What was it like being cast in Twilight?” “What’s on your iPod?” or any of the other inane questions we’ve heard since 2008. It’s 2011, this is Breaking Dawn… let’s bring our A-game people! Can we all agree to outlaw the contacts/shirtless/iPod/casting questions? THANK YOU! From Everyone.

Best tidbit… final scene/take of the film, Jacob turns to walk into the forest, they yell cut and Kristen yells “Wait, I made a mistake!” and ran after Taylor. WIN.

With that they were off and I could peel myself off the floor and prepare to climb on that same stage in just a few minutes. But first! A costume contest. Yup, so as the Fansite owners stood around waiting for our big (little) moment we got to watch a parade of people in Twilight related costumes. Sadly, the Male Twihard was ROBBED.

Yup, that’s him there with the shake weight, jorts and drawn on abs… standing next to Mrs Cope and some random Vampire types.

FINALLY it was time for the panel EVERYONE came to. It was time for the panel everyone paid 350 dollars to see. It was time for the panel with ALL the secrets, gossip and awful truth. It was time for the “Twilight Family of Fansites” panel. HIT IT!  Just look at the pushing and shoving and fighting happening in the audience to get to the front to finally see their favorite fan site owners IN PERSON!!! ZOMG!!!


The light was so bright I could barely see ALL the people clamoring to hear us. Actually we did have a lot of really nice folks who showed up to support us and even some of our very own LTT-ers! I had my own cheering section!

While sitting between Kara from TwiMoms and Andrew from TwiSource, I couldn’t help but think of how much of a service these sites provide, and how we’re pretty much performing a public service for the world… JUST KIDDING, I was mostly thinking about the odds that my bootay was touching the same chair that Robert Pattinson’s bootay had touched just mere minutes ago.


All joking aside I had a fun time participating in the panel and I’m so glad I was asked! It was awesome presenting the other side of Twilight fansites/blogs and most especially YOU guys! I hear it was taped so you may very well be seeing me talk into a microphone while Edward and Bella stare down at me. GET EXCITED PEOPLE!

11 days! AHHHHH!!!!
Themoonisdown

THANK YOU to all our awesome readers who came up to talk to me, to those of you who stayed for our panel when you could have been eating dinner or standing at that bar outside the door. A special thanks to Summit and Twilight Lexicon for inviting LTT to be on the fan site panel!

Sources: BreakingDawnMovie.org, Team Twilight, Twilight Lexicon and us, duh.

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTT, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

46 Commented


Breaking Dawn Pt 1 Soundtrack – Let’s Discuss

November 8th!

Dear LTT-ers,

So it’s become a bit of a tradition (1, 2) for us to delve into the Twilight soundtrack after they’re announced because well, we love music… and I work in it. What isn’t to like about tearing apart the track listing and artists and see what we can learn about the film from it… aka make wild guesses and assumptions.

At first glance I’m intrigued this is definitely NOT the same vibe as New Moon and Eclipse with it’s “indie” (vom, I hate that word) esque sensibilities and thoughtful inclusions… this is almost more in the vein of the first Twi soundtrack minus the mid 90s vibe of Collective Soul etc. *shudder* I think the thing we need to remember going into this is that music in film is meant to enhance a mood or feeling in a scene and to help tell the story without being a total distraction (and come in under budget).

So we’re back at it again with the Chop Shop crew at the helm with Bill Condon so let’s see what they’ve brought us…

1.  The Joy Formidable – Endtapes
This is one I was excited to see because I’ve been listening to their album The Big Roar for the last year. Though they’re not my end all be all, I’m glad they were included because they’re the type of artist I would expect on a Twilight Sountrack. I’m assuming this will be some type of upbeat scene with driving or running or maybe when Bella gets out of the car at the gas station at the beginning of BD. Ya know, if we’re being literal.

Listen:

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2.  Angus & Julia Stone – Love Will Take You
Lovely little brother and sister duo on Nettwerk another lovely little label. Their music has been on a bunch of  CW shows and Greys Anatomy so this isn’t a big surprise of a pick… but they’re kinda snoozeville to me. They seem like one of those bands that was put together for the sole purpose of inclusion on soundtracks and tv shows: innocuous, girl with a baby voice, sounds nice in the background, easy to clear, that sorta thing. I’m sure they’re nice folks and all but Zzzzzzzzzz. I see this in some sort of chill scene maybe the morning after! Heh heh!
Listen:

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3.  Bruno Mars – It Will Rain
Ok, so I don’t hate it like UC hates it… she says she can’t even listen to it all the way through. It’s not awful… I wouldn’t kick it out of bed but I’m not ready to spoon with it either.

Some thoughts to settle the crowd down a little: All other lead singles (Twi excluded) haven’t even been featured IN the movie, only over the credits. SO if you hate it THAT much you can just run out before the credits roll. It’s probably a move to get more radio play for the soundtrack and in turn more moola. It’s not like Death Cab and Muse were being played 40 times during Ryan Seacrest’s morning show, so who better to choose as the single than the dude who’s basically PRINTING cash based off his publishing on his songwriting and chart topping songs this last year.

If it’s included in an actual scene, this feels like first dance or dance with Jacob material to me. Vulture is calling it Twilight’s version of “Kiss From a Rose,” I’m also feeling Robin Hood’s “Everything I do, I do it for you” or The Three Muskateers “All for Love.” All of these were massive radio hits which goes back to my theory on why this is the single: CASH. Der. Too bad they couldn’t get Bryan Adams, Sting and Rod Stewart to reunite one more time to create the BD song. I know my mom would have been pumped.

Listen to the actual song! Or buy it on itunes

http://youtu.be/fwr1hm_oBxE

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This is SO long we need a cut! Follow the jump for ALL 15 tracks!
Continue…

46 Commented


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