Getting excited about Breaking Dawn Part 1

Dear Breaking Dawn Part 1,

I don’t know about you but the news err non-news-stalker-pics-wigger-kids coming out of Vancouver this week got me REALLY excited for Breaking Dawn. If only we didn’t have to wait until November to see the finished project. But oh well. We’ll take what we can get.

We got this letter a week or so ago from SJ discussing what she was looking forward to in BD Part 1 & it got me even MORE excited about the movie!

I’m Excited

  1. Rob’s career make or break scene: can he pull off being the most seductive vampire ever whilst wearing water shoes?
  2. Taylor’s voodoo power: forget kung-fu, is his voodoo strong enough to convince the world a teenage shapeshifter imprinting on a newborn baby is not creepy (may also be seen as career make or break time).
  3. The pale ‘strange one’ and the chick who hates dancing and parties unobtrusively getting down with the locals at carnival time then prancing up the beach between the pumpkin lanterns.
  4. Kristen enduring parading Summit Wardrobe Department‘s idea of Stephenie Meyer’s idea of Alice’s idea of stylin’. And will they reuse blue art smock for a maternity top?
  5. Jennifer Love Hewitt wetting her pants on the red carpet. But that’s just me being petty and mean (Taylor hatin’ beetch!)
  6. You should really use a condom

    Will there be a condom/Condon reference somewhere in wedding or Isle of Esme, or just ANYWHERE? I am praying for an outtake of Bill popping up in the ocean next to Rob & Kristen saying ‘I really do think I’m needed in this scene, move over Kristen’. And then me yelling ‘for the love of god move over Kristen!’

  7. Charlie’s ‘stache. Jasper’s hair. Carlisle’s accent. Esme achieving full camouflage with the backdrop in every scene she appears in.
  8. Merchandise – Isle of Esme jigsaw, maracas, water shoes? Team Edward/Jacob wedding garter. Isle of Esme sarongs. Pregnancy test kits.
  9. Edward attempting to pimp out Jacob to Bella so she can have a ‘normal’ pregnancy (although maybe not normal by LTT standards). Or is it Bella being pimped out to Jacob? I’m not really up to speed on the Pimp’s code of conduct but it does seem that it would be a win situation for all of them. Anyway, cannot wait to see how Rob delivers those lines. It may just be the first time I feel sorry for him.

All this and it’s only February! Are we halfway there yet?

xxx Sj.

Hey Rob.. in Isle Esme ... you should do that move I taught you on my bed back in 2008...

I know, SJ. I know! It’s SO far away, yet hopefully the time will FLY! Because I have to add the following things I am so excited about for BD Part 1:

  1. Watching a Catherine Hardwicke interview where she discusses how the Isle Esme sex scene(s) were “just as passionate as the moment Robsten was created my unmade bed in Venice Beach.”
  2. A NEW SOUNDTRACK to listen to (nothing funny here- you know we’re serious around here about music!
  3. Watching Bella tell her high school friends she’s getting married. And then making the brilliant awkward lines that Yorkie & Mike are sure to say after they hear the news our new mantras.
  4. Seeing if Taylor breaks into giggles anytime sex is mentioned, suggested or insinuated

Oh November… can’t you be HERE already!!

Love,
UnintendedChoice

What (Serious or non-serious!) things are you excited for for Breaking Dawn Part 1!?

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“Cliff notes” on the (irrelevant) numerous Breaking Dawn Characters

You know what I’ve thought once or 10 times since Breaking Dawn buzz has come pouring out? “I need to re-read or at least review this book so I can have some sort of clue who the H all these new characters are.” But…. that requires work. And I’m all about no work these days. Thankfully, East & West Coast Staceys saved the day & did allllll the research for me!

Dear Breaking Dawn and LTT,

Click

Oh my, those Brazil pictures…you know the ones…Bella and Edward kissing in Latin America looking all adorable. Well this post isn’t about those two, it is about how Breaking Dawn has started and the fun of Eclipse filming has started again. This time around, not only do you have the wolf pack to keep track of, but now all of the new vampires. I had noticed that many of us who comment on LTT are having a hard time keeping track of all of these newbies. This wasn’t a concern for me, it only made sense (That book is HUGE!),  until my partner in crime SnowWhiteDrifted aka West Coast Stacey admitted to me that she didn’t know who Garrett is! What! It was okay that she didn’t know the greatness of Lee Pace (a travesty), but Garrett! I write Talk Supe, with the lady! But I am here to help and school you in the new BD characters. Let’s call it :  Demon Baby University (DBU). Here is WC Stacey (SWD) and I discussing the new friends (and Jenks) of Breaking Dawn.
SWD: It’s so true, East Coast Stacey, I NEED your Cliff Notes version of the Breaking Dawn Characters. I just can’t reread this book. The second half just seemed like assigned reading from Lit class, because I just lost interest after, well, …the huge closet. That was my dream come true (once I realized the “fade to black” was really how it was going to be and I needed to find something else swoonworthy, i.e. the closet).

Garrett and Kate: Let’s start with the important one (to me). He is a patriot vampire. That is to say, he was turned during the Colonial times and is still sporting the ponytail. He is also a new romantic lead for an upcoming book about Garrett and Kate. (Okay, not really, but read this Stephenie and make it happen!)  You see his romance with Kate, was the best part of the second half of the book. (Also a very tiny part, so my imagination might have taken some creative liberties. Darn you fanfiction!) Since, I mentioned her let’s talk about Kate. She is one of Tanya’s ‘sisters’. She has an ‘electric’ personality. Seriously, she shocks people. That’s her power, which makes her cool. Unlike, her sister ‘Tanya’ who it appears to have the power of being slutty. Also, I just like the character of Kate. She seems cool, which is why Team Seth should have gotten the role and invited me to visit her on set so I could meet Lee Pace (Thanks a bunch, Condon. * note sarcasm *)
SWD
: Ohhhh, they were from the Alaskan coven, I’m starting to remember (I’m totally lying. And wondering just how much wine was I drinking during my BD reading that I don’t remember a Patriot, I love 18th century dudes! Seriously, look at the $10 bill, Alexander Hamilton is hot… maybe even the original #HotAlex).

The rest of the Alaska Coven:
Tanya
: We all KNOW Tanya. Attempted deflowerer of Edward. Seducer of human men. The casting of which many of us are not to wild about. I am attempting to wait and see on this one. She does look cat like.
SWD
: I remember her hair description. I remember she has platinum blond hair in that cute Drew Barrymore in Scream cut, right? Or wait am I confusing her with the other one? Ugh which one is in Midnight Sun? Midnight Sun, now that (rocked) sucked! I’d rather (have crows peck out my eyes than) read the extended histories of Casius & Carlisle’s Scarf Tying techniques than the rest of  that (masterpiece) drivel.

Irina: Maggie Grace from LOST is playing this character. This is the sister who turns in the Cullens to the Volturi, because her boyfriend Laurent got ripped apart by the wolfpack. Two thoughts: 1. Wouldn’t be great if Laurent would show up in a flashback and 2. She played Ian Somerhalder’s step sister in LOST! (You knew I had to add him in here somewhere.)
SWD
: (*thinks: Smolderholder’s in LOST? Yes, another pop culture phenom I missed.)Yes, we need more Laurent. I want to see more of his Pimp suits.

Eleazer: As previously noted on LTT, he’s being played by Dexter’s Ice Truck Killer. He was very creepy in that. but young looking. I always imagined him looking older and distinguished. Why? Because, Eleazer was the talent agent of the Volturi. Like their own version of Ari from Entourage, finding talented vampires. Hmm…Jeremy Piven might have been an interesting choice.
SWD
: Ha ha got it, Ari= Eleazer, Aro= big budget movie franchise

Carmen: Eleazer’s lady. Liked ‘the baby’. Seems to be an Esme type character.
SWD: “Liked” as in “tried to eat”? Or she really just changed diapers and stuff?
EC: All the vampire ladies were itching to get to those diapers. Which I find odd, since I welcome others to do it for me all the time.
SWD
: You mean your baby right? You’re not sportin’ the Depends are you?

Get more educated after the jump! Continue…

92 Commented


Dares for Stephenie Meyer

I’m too busy, LTT

Dear Stephenie Meyer,

In keeping with our refusal to admit you’re too busy being a producer on the set of a hit film for the next 6 months to read LTT every day like you used to, we’d like to continue to pretend we have any influence over your life at all. Cool? Cool.

We just want you to pretend like we don’t know you once admitted to reading LTT and we’ll all act normal. We’ll just continue making you laugh, making fun of something you poured your heart into (that we love almost as much as you do) and we won’t try to influence you at all to get the Breaking Dawn we want. (PUT RAY-BANS ON ROB) It’s more important for you to stay focused on Isle Esme right now so that we all get the most perfect Honeymoon possible (MAKE THE SEX SCENE LIKE THE NOTEBOOK). And then once you’re back in Louisiana on set, focusing on how not to creep the audience out with a half-vampire baby chewing its way out of Kristen’s tummy (PUT EDWARD BACK IN THE CAFETERIA) There are no subliminal messages here. There’s nothing were trying to say in between the lines. We’re offering nothing more than encouragement from the LTT family. (MAKE THE WOLFPACK CALL THEM ‘JORTS’)

But just in case you are bored on set or looking for something to do with your assistant with the cool sweater, Meghan, we’ve come up with a list of activities to pass the time- or maybe we can call them dares. You MADE these actors’ careers- the least you can do is have a little fun with them!

We dare you one day to wear a knot in your tee-shirt for a full day of shooting. Never even look twice when Kristen glares at you for stealing her style. Around lunchtime, on the day he’s visiting the set, ask Big Daddy if the local Olive Garden offers take out & if he knows their number by heart.

We dare you to call Rob, Ron at least 3 times one day. And don’t even be afraid to use the LTT water bottle we gave you back in June. How about next week you work “Tweed serious” into a conversation with Bill Condon. And sigh & shake your head every time you see the girl playing Renesemee, while muttering “Not a newborn child. How hard is it to get a newborn around here?”

We dare you to bring out the Mormon Bible & try to convert Kellan. Or ask him to be accountability partners. Try to see if he wants to start a Wednesday AM Bible Study by the breakfast trailer. I’m sure there’s another gaffer on set who reads the Good Word. Or if you’re really feeling daring, tell Jackson you really dig the 100 Monkeys. Ask about their upcoming album. And try to keep a straight face. Or ask Jackson if he’s heard that catering is serving catfish on Thursday night for dinner.

We dare you to say to Ashley Greene, “You’re dating Joe Jonas, right? But he has a purity ring…*blank stare.* And one day when you’re around Taylor Lautner, we dare you to put on headphones and sing outlaid to “Back to December” by Taylor Swift off key & really loudly.

And on the day the wolfpack is due to shoot their first scene, show up wearing jorts & name one of the pups “The Situation.” Give no explanation. Just start calling him “Sitch” and ask him if he’s found out if any of the new girl hires are DTF.

And while you’re shooting Isle Esme, how about for one day, we dare you to refer to Rob & Kristen as one person: Robsten. For example: “What time is Robsten due to set?” or “Robsten- they’re ready for you!” or “Robsten, I really feel like you need a little more passion in this scene” and “Robsten, you should shake the bed more.”

And while you’re way too busy to be reading LTT patiently waiting for the next LTT to be posted, try not to laugh when you see the wolfpack run around in their shorts, think of a fish with whiskers when you see Jackson on set, get at least one Taylor Swift song stuck in your head every time you’re around Taylor Lautner or crave endless breadsticks when Taylor’s family is around. We dare you.

Love,
UnintendedChoice (and Brookelockart who helped out tremendously with the dares!)

6 months filming is a LONG time! What other stuff should we dare Stephenie Meyer to do while on set!?

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTR, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

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