The time I wanted Jacob (or maybe I was ill)

Dear Jacob,

Something happened yesterday. I was listening to the Breaking Dawn Part 1 Soundtrack on Spotify, chatting with my pal, Marah, when I had an epiphany:

I'm sick. I think I'm attracted to Jacob

Marah: this soundtrack is kinda sappy. I mean, i don’t know what i expected but yeah
UC: I like the latter half.. it’s just.. so….so poppy
Marah: i’m going to assume the christina perri was written for the movie
UC: the wedding scene. the first dance? It’s SCREAMING that. Also: I feel like i might be really attracted to jacob in this movie . that is odd for me to say. i will write about this tomorrow.
Marah: oh my god seriously???
UC: i have no idea why
Marah: that’s horrifying
UC: i mean.. i think i have a fever right now. so maybe that’s why I’m saying this… but I also think it’s cuz.. well, Edward is all married.. he’s not attainable… and Jacob is… I could reach into the movie screen, grab him & make him mine. this is very weird… I’m feeling very weird
Marah: but YOU are married! and jacob is… icky
UC: i think i definitely have a fever. right? like.. this is the fever talking?? i mean.. i think right now, looking at my Spotify account.. streaming Breaking Dawn… seeing Edward & Bella all cozied up.. with Jacob alone.. he kinda looks like Damon from Vampire diaries.. the odd one out… the hot one i want…and i’m pretty sure THAT’s why I’m saying this.. cuz.. I couldn’t possibly.. right? like.. i don’t want jacob, right?
Marah: have you looked at his face? he’s no damon
UC: i think maybe i’m just looking at his muscles. and they FOR SURE have him standing on a box, so he looks so tall. like he’s standing on a big ass box.
Marah: i think there’s no way to like taylor lautner. like we can assign rob depth or whatever and he kind of backs it up. like ok maybe he would be okay to talk to, but taylor…I can’t make a distinction between Taylor & Jacob. And what’s to like about jacob?
UC: i don’t mean I’m into TAYLOR. ew. that’s icky. I just mean jacob. I kinda want jacob right now. Or my fever does….and i know taylor IS jacob, but i’d like to forget that for a moment and live in this fantasy where jacob is someone like Damon or… i dunno some other dark haired bad ass… {even though I think Taylor is a good jacob. a nice jacob. i never needed to be attracted to jacob.) Maybe it’s Rob’s Insurance man clothes. I mean Edward’s

 

So…. is it my fever? (Yes it will be gone before I come snuggle with you on Saturday, Moon) or am I on to something here? I know there is a HUGE group of people on Team Jacob. I know there are  HUGE group of people on Team TAYLOR.  I’ve never been one of those people. But Edward seems so…. married. And a BIG fan of Brooks Brothers. And I guess… I just feel kinda bad for Jacob. I mean, I know, I know.. he gets the baby eventually (yuck rephrasing- when she’s a big GROWN girl) but in the meantime, he’s one sad puppy.

And I want to cuddle with sad puppies. Maybe let them lick my face. Maybe they can spend the night at the foot of my bed.

Wow.. I really DO have a fever don’t I?

Love,
UnintendedChoice

So.. is it the fever talking?  Am I switching Teams? Am I just looking for something new? Has Edward lost his allure since he’s all hitched & stuff so I’m on the one I can’t have? And EW I’m talking about JACOB here… not Taylor. Let’s make sure to remember there is a difference (in my head!)

Still looking for something to wear to the Breaking Dawn Midnight showing? Might we suggest this beautiful design from the LTT/LTR Store? Wigs are still a hot topic with Breaking Dawn. Have you SEEN the pictures of Carlisle Cullen? War of the Wigs Tshirts & More (Ps- find some discount codes here)

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Storytime with Moon: Breaking Dawn Con – show me your finger guns

*so i guess everyone at the con is still too hungover to post pics so I will keep updating this with decent ones as I find them… till them enjoy my iphone shots*

Dear LTT-ers,

Saturday I went to Breaking Dawn Con (it rhymes and it’s killing me) not only to see the Trinity and The Cullens and Bill Condon and the Ice Truck Killer but because I was invited to be a Panelist. Yes, you read that right. Yours truly was invited to be on the “Twilight Family of Fansites” panel. I know, I’m as shocked as you are but I was extastic as well because we have tons of amazing and funny readers who need to be represented among the fandom! And really who doesn’t want to sit between Twimoms and TwiSource and #humblebrag a bit?

So I roll up to the Con hosted at… none other than the scene of Eclipse Con AAANNNDDD (most importantly of all) our interview with Stephenie Meyer, the Hyatt Century City (cue your oh’s and ah’s) conveniently located across the street from the Death Star… aka the CAA offices. I find the registration line and march my happy bootay up to collect my credentials because I was like 2 seconds away from the “surprise footage” they were promising. I told the lady my name and she (with a bit of attitude) said ummm did you buy a ticket… or would you like to? I then told her as a matter of fact I’m actually a panelist today and guest of Summit Entertainment. Registration lady turns her frown upside down and tells me in her sweet voice “Well, then come over here to our special VP check in!” THAT’S more like its registration lady, VIP! Thinking she must be joking I then receive this little number…

Oh yes, I fancy now!

Then I took my special wristband and hauled ass to the hall to catch the special footage… but not without being told to “fist pump for wristbands” by the Con staff so that they could see our wrist bands. So I guess the Con staff were super DTF. Too bad they couldn’t get Pauly D to DJ the “wedding reception” party.

I caught the special footage just in time to see clips from BD including Bella getting ready for the wedding… when Charlie and Renee came in to give her the hair combs I may have had a little moment. You guizzeee this is like the  beginning of the end!

Then it was time to get rolling with some cast panels…

First up Christian Camrago and Mia Maestro aka vamps from the Denali clan made their first appearance at a Twicon. Oh man. First off Mia is ridiculously beautiful like WOAH. Even from the VIP section in the waaaaay back (thanks) she was gorge. And then Brian… I mean Rudy… I mean Christian. Let’s just say I’ve been a Dexter fan since season 1 so this was like the prosthetics doctor come to life.

DEXTER SPOILER- Someone asked Christian if he would ever return to Dexter and I sat there wondering how the HALE that was possible since his character Brian/Rudy was killed in the first season but I’m here to tell you I just saw the previews for next week’s episode and it looks like Brian is Dexter’s new dark passenger!!!!!!!! My friend and I screamed. DUDE. The.best.show!!!

After telling us what a grandpa he was because he learned about the Twitters from the fandom and how to use it, Mia outted Christian as a bird watcher! Yup, these are all things you missed Saturday while you were off doing things like getting your hairs did, catching up on your DVR or picking at your split ends… I was learning which new twi cast member likes to watch birds. JEALOUS?? He then regaled us with a story of hiking in Vancouver to see his favorite bird: the bald eagle. Cue cheers from the audience. I AM NOT JOKING. People cheered for a bald eagle mention. Sure, we’re all at a TWILIGHT convention but dude bald eagles? People were really owning their nerd up in there.

After that I knew I needed a quick break (drink) before The Cullen family panel… so what do they have out in the lobby?

A bar solely devoted to the BD Con located just steps from the hall! So clearly, Creation Entertainment and the hotel got my “fan petition” (just my signature 10,000 times) after the Eclipse Con begging them to provide any way to help make the screams of “Robsten!” and “Jacob take off your shirt!” disappear.  Any coincidence the majority of the people in this line were MEN? Nope. Of the 10 men in the entire audience 9 of them where in this line.

Next Melissa Rosenberg came out to represent for tall girls everywhere (Holla!). She pretty much talked about how fans freak out over the fact you can’t do a word by word adaptation of the book. What movie studio is going to finance a 7 hours movie? And REALLY who cares if Edward was wearing an oatmeal sweater or a tweed suit? Melissa needs to read our “accept it now” posts because WE GET IT MEL. We.get.it. The Twi world will keep turning even though Bella got on a motorcycle in front of Edward. THE HORROR.

Next up… The Cullen Family Panel
Peter Facinelli, Elizabeth Reaser, Jackson Rathbone(r) and Ashley Greene. Oddly enough Nikki Reed was scheduled to appear but must have been caught in traffic after making a mid afternoon cougar-rita run with Cathi Hardi. Also surprisingly absent: Kellan Lutz, since we know Kellan loves a Twicon like TBN loves a closeted gay man playing a gold piano (yay, obscure christian TV reference!). But since I follow Kellan’s twitter religiously (is there any other way?) I know he’s filming something in Indonesia. Sad days friends, no Kellan.

No matter though we got plenty of Peter and Jackson moments. I don’t know what it is about a Twicon, maybe it’s the room full of women screaming semi obscene things but the men on stage really get into it and the ladies look freaked out most of the time. When asked to comments on how their looks change in each movie and to comment on their latest look Peter said “I’ll pass.” Too bad you didn’t say “I’ll pass” when they put that heinous Carlisle comb-over wig on your head.

After the Sullens (typo and it stays!) panel was over there was an announcement that there would be a surprise Charlie Bewley Q&A before the Holy Trinity panel. So clearly, there was either a long line at the In N Out drive through or Kristen knotted her shirt too tight over her pants she couldn’t get it undone to go to the bathroom.

Have no fear though, Charlie Bewley was there to kill 10 minutes by taking impromptu questions and screamed suggestions from the audience (shuffle! take your shirt off!). I actually could have asked Charlie about amazing film I just saw him in called Like Crazy, but I couldn’t break up the dance party for one he was having on stage, so I hit that bar outside the hall for a diet coke, cause shiizzz was about to get real.

FINALLY it was time for the main event, the Holy Trinity and Bill Condon! I had my five dollar diet coke, my iphone and my last grip on sanity and it was time…

I love the sea of cameras and phones you can see in their picture I took from the way back.
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Watch the whole 30 minutes here… have a brown paper bag handy to breath into and earmuffs.

If you were following along on Twitter or watching this live you know the exact moment I wanted to crawl under the hotel ballroom chairs and die. Yup, some GENIUS in the audience decided to yell out “My boyfriend’s English!!!” Cause nothing endears your favorite actress to you like yelling out embarrassing crap in a room filled with thousands of people. GREAT JOB Robsten/Kristen fans!


Don’t worry Kristen all the sane people in the room were doing the EXACT same thing.

With that out of the way we got down to the important questions: What do those contacts feel like?!


This is what I want to do everytime I hear that question or “What’s it like to have your shirt off all the time?” “What was it like being cast in Twilight?” “What’s on your iPod?” or any of the other inane questions we’ve heard since 2008. It’s 2011, this is Breaking Dawn… let’s bring our A-game people! Can we all agree to outlaw the contacts/shirtless/iPod/casting questions? THANK YOU! From Everyone.

Best tidbit… final scene/take of the film, Jacob turns to walk into the forest, they yell cut and Kristen yells “Wait, I made a mistake!” and ran after Taylor. WIN.

With that they were off and I could peel myself off the floor and prepare to climb on that same stage in just a few minutes. But first! A costume contest. Yup, so as the Fansite owners stood around waiting for our big (little) moment we got to watch a parade of people in Twilight related costumes. Sadly, the Male Twihard was ROBBED.

Yup, that’s him there with the shake weight, jorts and drawn on abs… standing next to Mrs Cope and some random Vampire types.

FINALLY it was time for the panel EVERYONE came to. It was time for the panel everyone paid 350 dollars to see. It was time for the panel with ALL the secrets, gossip and awful truth. It was time for the “Twilight Family of Fansites” panel. HIT IT!  Just look at the pushing and shoving and fighting happening in the audience to get to the front to finally see their favorite fan site owners IN PERSON!!! ZOMG!!!


The light was so bright I could barely see ALL the people clamoring to hear us. Actually we did have a lot of really nice folks who showed up to support us and even some of our very own LTT-ers! I had my own cheering section!

While sitting between Kara from TwiMoms and Andrew from TwiSource, I couldn’t help but think of how much of a service these sites provide, and how we’re pretty much performing a public service for the world… JUST KIDDING, I was mostly thinking about the odds that my bootay was touching the same chair that Robert Pattinson’s bootay had touched just mere minutes ago.


All joking aside I had a fun time participating in the panel and I’m so glad I was asked! It was awesome presenting the other side of Twilight fansites/blogs and most especially YOU guys! I hear it was taped so you may very well be seeing me talk into a microphone while Edward and Bella stare down at me. GET EXCITED PEOPLE!

11 days! AHHHHH!!!!
Themoonisdown

THANK YOU to all our awesome readers who came up to talk to me, to those of you who stayed for our panel when you could have been eating dinner or standing at that bar outside the door. A special thanks to Summit and Twilight Lexicon for inviting LTT to be on the fan site panel!

Sources: BreakingDawnMovie.org, Team Twilight, Twilight Lexicon and us, duh.

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46 Commented


The Hale’s (or the Cullen’s) do Southern Europe

Dear LTT-ers,

Seriously, this European tour has been like the best thing Summit has ever done… I mean besides financing and making the films… and bringing us Robert Pattinson… and Butt Crack Santa and that film 50/50 but BESIDES that this tour has been the best thing to happen to Twilight. We’ve gotten mid 90s goatee Rob, not so blind items, swirly boob dresses, pictures from late nights at bars and all kinds of good stuff. And now we get Nikki and Jackson in southern Europe bringing us all the best of the b-list Cullen (or Hale as it were) siblings! I can’t lie, I’d even listen to a song by 100 Monkeys right now, I’m so excited at the prospect of this. Ok, maybe not that.
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Jackson: Nikki, you are looking smoking hot tonight and I’m not saying that just because my six shooter is smoking in my holster
Nikki: I know, I’ve had to fight off some girl called “Moon” who kept trying to steal my shoes and dress. Crazy bitch. So what the HALE is up with your outfit?
Jackson: I was super lucky that Rome had a Wild West Costume Rental Shop to replace the clothes the airline lost. I can’t imagine walking down the carpet in something John Wayne wouldn’t approve of. Amazing, right?
Nikki: Amazing’s probably not the word I’d use…
Jackson: Yea, more sexy totally.
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So my guesses for what Nikki Reed’s tattoo says are: “I Got There First,” “Original Nonsten,” and “My dad’s old girlfriend was the director of the 1st movie, I was the one to get him cast.” Ok, so that last one probably isn’t it. But ya know. Close enough.
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Sadly, it looks as though Jackson’s partial facial paralysis is back. He really should look into getting that checked out. Oh and YEEEfreakingHAW.
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How many snakes and Saloon owners had to die in order for Jackson to wear clothes in Italy and Madrid? Where is Peta on this guy?

During the Rome Q&A we got this gem:

Rathbone recalled, “I remember the first time we met, we were at the airport heading to the film’s set. I had my beloved guitar and the agent at check-in did not want me to carry it on the plane, but for me it was really important. Nikki was there and convinced them let me carry it aboard [the aircraft]. From day one, Nikki was on my side.”

Looking at Jackson during the tender and heartfelt moment, Nikki said, “You are wonderful,” to which Jackson replied, “You are a beautiful person.”

Nikki didn’t have the heart to tell him she regretted that decision after she asked him to play her a few songs from his “cool, new band he just started with some of his smoking buddies.” Memories guys, that’s all we’re gonna have left in a year.

So thank you Breaking Dawn press tour and Summit for putting this on. This is helping make the next 19ish days whiz by! And really next time can we put a limit on Jackson’s snake skin items to one? Thanks.

Ciao and Adios and stuff,
Themoonisdown

Are we loving the folks they’re sending out to do this press tour? Have any of our readers seen the cast at these events or out and about?

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40 Commented


Questions for Stephenie – Vampire Sex

I'm sure glad we soundproofed this place... didn't we?

Dear Stephenie,

So last week when we broke down the new stills from Breaking Dawn Pt 1 (yea, that’s a really long name) we got to thinking seriously about some stuff and really there’s no one else who can answer this better than you can… So to refresh your memory here is the extended conversation that led to our questions…

Moon: DUDE can you imagine living in that house??? this brings up a LOT of questions!!
UC: NO… SO many questions
is it time for another round of “Dear Stephenie: we have a couple questions”
Moon: i mean they have vampiric hearing… so did they soundproof each room? or are they that old they just don’t care. like when your grandpa farts and could care less cause he’s 90

Sure, call us prudes, but do you really want your FAMILY hearing every little noise you make in the throes of passion? Or even working out? “What’s that I hear Jasper?” “Oh, it’s just Rosalie on the treadmill…” or IS IT? So did they soundproof the rooms, are they are on opposite sides of the house? Why don’t they all have their own little cottages like Edward and Bella get?

Shhh, no one will ever hear this

Can you imagine the real estate listing if they ever decided to sell that place? “This beautiful 5 bedroom 4 bath comes complete with it’s own cottage on the acreage, modern architecture, brand new gourmet kitchen (perfect for cooking Italiano), 10 car garage and oddly enough each room is completely soundproofed! It’s the darndest thing!”

This also begs the question WHY in the world did Bella want to be human for this? I mean besides the obvious “being human” and whatever wouldn’t she be HELLA scared of what he could do? And then if that’s the case she should definitely want to be a vampire for that… cause um ya know!

Kinda makes me want to be a vampire… so tell us, in your mind did you even go here Stephenie, or are we just the creeps with too much time on our hands?

We want to know!
Themoonisdown

PS bed-breaking sex her first time… is that really safe? For her… ya know.

So tell us, what do YOU guys think? Would you be embarrassed or who cares? What burning questions do you have for SMeyer?

Images from Weheartit.com, TwilightPoison

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84 Commented


The Cullen/Swan Wedding Reception

Dear Bella Cullen’s Wedding Reception,

Having just got married, oh, last weekend, I’m “down with the kids” on this whole wedding thing. I mean, I even sported the Bella barrette before you made it popular (and don’t pretend Alice didn’t steal the idea from ME!

"I'm crying because I'm so moved you used my hair barrette just like Team Seth did with her mom's hair barrette in her wedding, which happened before yours."

I know Alice saw me make my decision to wear my mom’s hair barrette before I made it. Then she STOLE the idea. Right out of my head. She’s supposed to use her powers for good–or is that witches? Too many vampire shows.)

Anyway, back to the letter… So, recently TeamJacobEdward emailed me back from the slathering of wedding photos I sent her and closed the email with: “PS did Jacob show up and steal a dance before he attended you to Edward Mr. Seth?”  [Don't you just love her for using the word "attended"? I know I do.]

Her postscript got me to thinking.

For the weeks leading up to the event, I joked about how I wanted Murray Gold to come and stop the wedding in one of those over-the-top elaborate, only-happens-in-the-movies kind of ways; profess his love for me after speeding from the airport, drenched in rain all The Notebook sex scene style… You know, that sort of thing.  (if you don’t know who Murray is, go here for an impertinent informational interview)  But when the day came, as NatteringYeahRobber predicted, I didn’t think about Murray at all! (which is actually *not* true since I played one of his songs in my ceremony, thus his name was on our program…Murray will live on at my wedding forever! *does the Vincent Price laugh* (which was ALSO at the wedding via “Thriller”))

But I didn’t think about him coming into the wedding and sweeping me away–or cutting in for a dance or even just surprising me by showing up. I was caught up in the evening, having fun and eating the delicious cheese ravioli, dancing to the great New Wave that our DJ dropped and drinking porters.

Unlike Murray at my wedding, we know Jacob DOES show up to steal a dance with the bride. Sure, it will be exciting and emotionally moving, if not a little awkward.  But do you really want that?

If I can't come, Bella, I don't want you to come!

Let’s think about it. We all know I’m a fan of Jacob and like him better than Edward—but not for Bella. Bella and Edward are perfect for each other. Jacob is not compatible with her (just her egg?) and thus it’s not a good match. So, in Eclipse when he was all “And maybe even then.” after Bella said “Right. Until my heart stops beating.” in that sweat lodge bedroom of his, she should have thought, “Okay, we’ve made our peace. He’s gotten my admission of love and some mountain top tongue action. Neither of us died in battle. Now it’s over. I’m committed to Edward 100% and cannot wait to live my life with him, forever.”  So, when Jacob shows up all shaggy haired and disheveled looking to touch the bride’s shapely body and virgin white dress with his grubby little rejected twice-over hands, do you really want that?

You don’t.

"Remember when Jacob showed up disheveled at our wedding wanting to dance with you? What a lame-o!"

You want him to just do the mature thing and not show up at all. To call or email Bella saying he won’t be able to make it and he’s truly sorry, but he’s just not up for it. He wishes her and Edward all the best and hopes that they can stay friends moving forward. (And to give him a call when her demon fetus comes of age, so that he can finally get laid.) You don’t want him to make some covert just-off-to-the-side-of-the-dance-floor appearance to say his piece before fursploding off into the woods!  Talk about an overreaction to the water for elephant in the room!

The reality is, you want to be a happy occasion that everyone remembers fondly as being fun and pleasant. Sure there’s always the ‘problem person’ (one of my groom’s party members showed up to the ceremony completely wasted. It was…lovely), but if you had the choice of having that or not, do you really want that?

You don’t. You just don’t.

With Kind Regards,
Team Seth

ps-Do you think they’ll play a modified version of White Wedding that says “It’s a nice day for a pale wedding!” ?? (fingers crossed!)

pps-Mr. Seth always say “grubby little hands”, that’s why I threw it in there. Not because Jacob’s massive sexy lingering hands are grubby. Ahem. DH shout out! (teehee, I said DH)

ppps-It’s good to be back! (Said in my Damon voice, as heard in every single “Previously on the Vampire Diaries” from season 1)

Congrats on the new husband, Team Seth!! May your first year of marriage NOT include a baby that eats you from the inside out!!

Team Seth makes some great points…Jacob kinda RUINS the moment there…. I mean… not gonna complain when I see it on screen. Pretty sure I’m going to cry…. What about you??? Did your or does your dream wedding include “Interruption by ex/boy that COULD have been?”

OOPS: Last week, like an idiot, I said if you want to join us for an LTT part in LA in a few weeks (specifically Sunday 11/13) E-mail Us and included the email address for my work. TWICE. So, no- a hot tub company is not looking to throw a Twilight party in a few weeks, but WE are.. so E-mail Us if you’re interested!

REMINDER: Hate the ads? Press MUTE (the volume button) in 4 places. There ya go! All fixed.

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