Hey Twilight, Let me introduce you to these things called cell phones!

Even this thing would have worked

Dear Twilight,

Don’t you think a lot of the mishaps in the Twilight books and films could have been circumvented if these people had cell phones? I mean the books came out in 2006, I’m pretty sure most of us at least had some sort of cheesy flip phone or one of those nokia bricks still. Couldn’t the Cullens with infinite resources, enough to procure a car that wasn’t even in production, spring for the family plan at AT&T?

The Cullen's or Robert Pattinson in 30 years?

Is it just because they’re so old? It’s like my grandparents who leave the house and forget their cell phone and then wonder why no one calls… it’s because we did call but your phone was at home sitting next to the phone ON THE WALL!!! I gotta believe that old vampires who are super into cars and flying around and whatnot would be all about technology… I mean they can’t even sleep what else would you do at 3am besides vacillate between Fruit Ninja and Instagram?

What ever happened to this phone?! Did she get a replacement?

If Charlie put Bella on his family plan and gave the girl a cell he probably could have gotten ahold of her one of the fifty times she ran away and left a note. Sure you don’t have to answer it but you can trace that shit! And what girl in her right mind in 2011 (or 2006ish) is gonna leave home with the celly? Nevermind you might miss a call from EDWARD the hottest dude alive who likes you, who’s going to be driving late at night on slick roads in Forks with crazies chasing you and not have a cell? That’s just common SAFE sense.
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This moment = in the top 3 dumbest things Edward ever did

Also what if (movie) Edward hasn’t been a dumbass and crushed his phone before flying off to get himself killed by the Volturi, maybe Bella could have gotten ahold of him and been like “dude, you just got punk’d by Jacob, I’m not dead, don’t do anything stupid like try to commit Vampire suicide. Now get back to Forks and do me cause it’s pretty clear you love me hard.” That’s totally what she’d say. We could have totally saved all those carbon emissions they burned off flying to Italy then stealing a gas guzzling car, letting it idle and then ditching it? This isn’t even a safety or stupidity issue, now it’s a GREEN issue! Capt. Planet would be so disappointed.

Yo Bella, shit's about to go down!

Or imagine if Alice and Jasper had a cell while they were off traipsing through South America looking for Nahuel (did I even spell that right? Sometimes I forget he exists). The could have called once they found him and said don’t do anything stupid we found some proof that Renesmee isn’t an abomination unto the Volturi and we can sorta prove it and maybe people won’t die. But no, we have to convene the UN of vampires and have a non showdown in the Cullen’s backyard all because no one could commit to a two year contract with a mobile carrier of their choice. D-U-M-B.

Can you hear me now??
Themoonisdown

Srsly, is it things like that make you crazy when you read the books or even watch the movies? This is like another level version of the blue shirt/khaki shirt for me. I mean I GET IT why they’re not really used but COME ON!

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