We made the character pictures even better

Dear Breaking Dawn,

Here we fixed them for you:


I will haunt you FOREVER


I will be the more famous dad FOREVER


I’ll be talking about how I made ROBSTEN, FOREVER!

You’re welcome!


(ps I’m posting this from my phone because I forgot my LTT password & got locked out of the computer version. Best blogger award right here, please)

16 Commented

Eight things to do while we wait for Breaking Dawn to be out in theaters

Why did I not think of this?

Dear Breaking Dawn,

Last week to celebrate the 71 lone days left before Breaking Dawn is released, the Village Voice (yes, the Village Voice) wrote a piece called “71 Things to do While you Wait for Breaking Dawn to finally be out in Theaters”

That’s right. They had 71 ideas. I read about 10 of them before I got bored (no offense, it’s just that… well, 71 is a lot of ideas.) But I particularly loved the image the included (left) and #53:

53. Consider how the title of Breaking Dawn includes all of the letters for “Edward.” Get chills.


But I thought it was a good idea. So now there are 66 days until Breaking Dawn Appears, and that is basically TEN weeks until it’s Breaking Dawn week. So here are my 8 ideas of what you can do while you wait for Breaking Dawn to FINALLY be out in theaters, because coming up with 10 was too hard:

Hellooo Joe Anderson, aka Alistair (who...?)

1. Re-watch Twilight and be reminded that no one will ever be as loved as much as Buttcrack Santa

2. Learn who the heck the new vampires are and which are the cutest so you’re prepared for the crush you’ll inevitably develop on one of them (wait…. are we going to see new vamps in Part 1?)

3. Listen to the Twilight soundtrack while at work and TRY NOT to get all gooey inside during Iron & Wine’s “Flightless Bird, American Mouth” (aka the “Prom song.”) And I DARE YOU not to sing along to Paramore’s “Decode” or think about Rob making fun of how Hayley sings “Here”

4. Re-read your favorite fan fic version of Isle Esme & remind yourself that the movie won’t be like that because we don’t WANT Breaking Dawn Porn (Here is one Isle Esme fic I found after searching through the 334 messages that include the phrase “Isle Esme” in my gmail inbox (seriously))

One of the many things Action Figure Edwad has done over the years with Moon & Myself (um THAT sentence could be taken the wrong way...)

5. Start throwing LTT jokes into every day conversation with random people to see if anyone “gets” it. “Look at that guy’s jorts. He could be a member of the wolfpack,” or “Hold me back, Chris Hansen” when you see a cute, younger guy (but, uh, not young enough that Chris Hansen should actually hold you back.)

6. Plan your voyage to “Mecca” (aka LA around November 18-22. You ARE coming right? I’ll be there with Moon! Get excited for something fun for LTT readers. Hopefully it involves Paramore Karoke)

7. Dust off Action-Figure Edward and have an adventure with him. Did you get a new job in the last 2 years? I’m pretty sure Edward needs to visit your office & be “accidentally” left in the kitchen so you can see how long it is until someone comments about him.

8. Re-watch some of our famous LTT videos & be reminded about how much fun we’ve had over the years:

and my personal favorite:

Is it November yet!?


10 weeks!!! Can you believe it? What else can we do to fill our time & prepare our hearts & minds for November’s craziness!

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTR, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

46 Commented

Only Taylor Should’ve Played Jacob: Guess the wolf’s outta the bag

One thing I love about LTT-friend Team Seth is that she doesn’t “get” Rob Pattinson. She reminds me that the fandom is SO varied and not everyone thinks every single Twilight actor is God’s gift to the us & the world! Today she leads us in an appreciation of Taylor Lautner:

Taylor's got committment

Dear Taylor,

First off, major high five! Second, I know that we here on LTT sometimes, oftentimes, make fun of you for silly things like meat patties and catching grapes while doing back flips, but honestly we’re all behind you. It’s a matter of you being underage when we first got to know you, then you were smoking hot and we all felt dirty, like when your friend’s little brother turns 17 and it’s suddenly like “Wow, where did he come from?” Like Jeremy in Vampire Diaries, except that Bonnie isn’t over 18. Anyway, you can understand that I’m sure. Chris Hansen is creepy, you know. Plus, I know that we tend to talk more about your dad and how much we want to have sit downs with him over bread sticks and unlimited soup and salad lunch, and we don’t really want you there. I know that’s a little rude. But we stood by you through Swiftner! We accepted you after seeing Shark Boy and Lava Girl with our 7 year olds. And on a personal note, I HATE the Red Wings, but I’m willing to accept that you’re a fan due to where you’re from. That’s fine. I get it, really I do. (Go Canucks!)

But, I want to just get down to it and say, you’re the only one of the trilogy who really put your all into the role. And bravo for that! I’m so tired of people defending Rob for his mediocre efforts at becoming Sparta. This is Sparta. But you nailed it! You put in the effort. You ate meat patties and put in the gym time to get an 12-pak washboard ab set. You bulked up. You tried, and you kept it up. You respect C-Dubs’ wishes and followed through. Which is a truly classy and professional thing to do. You wore jorts in British Columbia other than in July heat waves. With rain pouring down on you. You committed. Rob did NOT commit. And I’m done, I am so done with these women who say that he has a Spartacus body in New Moon. He does not. He actually looks totally creepy. Like wtforks is this?

Sure there’s no pot belly, nor does he look like a topless Billy Burke (sorry, Billy, still love you!) But he’s gray and completely lacking pectorals and arm muscles. Seriously, where are his pecs? He looks like a fourteen year old! And I’m not knocking on Rob’s hotness, just his lack of commitment to the role.

No one's gonna argue about THIS

Sure, call him the HHH, ladies. Do what you must. I’ll agree, this is hot, and of course his NM shirtless moment is EONS ahead of this (shudder!). But the role commitment is just not there. Not like you, Taylor. And since there’s an entire site dedicated to letters to Rob and his hobo chic awesomeness (or whatever), I want you to know that you and your efforts are appreciated.

I know you’re not doubting your mad skills given the amount of big girl panties that have been thrown in your face. But honestly, Taylor, I think you’re the only one who nailed it. You ARE Jacob. I can’t imagine anyone but you as Jake… maybe put you on stilts, but other than that…and that’s just a technicality. And you and I both know that I’m not Team Jacob, that I don’t think Jacob and Bella should be together, and that I don’t lust after you in bed at night (that’s reserved for David Tennant and Ian Smolderholder).

"I want to thank Disney... for teaching me to smile & speak like a robot..."

But I respect you. Maybe you’re not “world’s best actor”, but that’s fine. You’re young and Disney channel groomed, and having worked at Disney myself for a few years, I know what that’s about. I get it. I understand your overtly PC and vague responses, your extremely bright smile, and your uncomfortableness with answering questions in a creative way. I totally understand, because I’ve been through that training too. It’s fine. And I don’t care if you come out in a year or so, or if you’re actually straight. I just don’t care, because you nailed it as Jacob. And I really think here on LTT we overlook that.

Not only did you commit physically to the role, you also worked with the ebb and flow of Jacob’s emotions. You made the switch when the wig came off. Jacob transformed from a sweet little Native American boy into a man. A man who wouldn’t accept that Bella didn’t appreciate him or recognize her feelings for him. That she was too caught up in her memory of Mr. Gray Marble Sparklepeen who LEFT HER for no real reason (that he happened to mention at the time) to even take notice of the fact that she was more or less gonna make out with you like 20 different times. Kind of ridiculous, right? Anyway, you as an actor took that energy, that longing to be human again and that werewolf rage, and you made it real. Believable. I applaud you. So, when we discussed who should’ve played Bella, I felt we ought to mention the fact that only YOU should’ve played Jacob.

Just friends

But I’ll close with this, Taylor. If you can pull off the relationship I envisioned between Jake and Nessie when reading the books, which was quite tasteful and sweet, then I think you might deserve a Best Supporting for that, and NOT at the MTV Awards, but at some real awards show. If anyone is trained and ready to field all the underage sexy times interview questions involving the supposed toddler love, it’s you, Taylor. You’ll laugh, look down, then back up with a serious face and say something along the lines of,

“Well, actually Jacob’s just imprinted on her. Imprinting doesn’t mean you have romantic feelings for the person, just that you understand her exact needs. It’s kind of like an intuition. So, if Renesme, say, wants to play My Little Ponies, Jacob will anticipate this need. It’s nothing romantic, it’s like he’s her awesome babysitter who totally gets her. As she grows up and her needs change, he will anticipate this too. So ultimately they will most likely end up together, but that’s in the far future.”

Then interviewer will then ask, “So, Edward might be Jacob’s father-in-law, is that going to be weird given the past between you guys?” and you will say, “No, I mean, isn’t that what every father wants for his daughter–a husband who will treat her exceptionally well and always love her and provide her with what she wants?” I have full faith in you, kid. So, keep on keepin’ on! And just think, your meat patty days are quickly coming to a close!

With high regards,

Team Seth

What do you think? Is Taylor going to do us proud with his portrayal of Jacob? Will Chris Hansen be on stand-by, waiting for his moment to knock on Taylor’s trailer door?

Contest Update: Moon & I haven’t had time to talk ALL WEEKEND LONG so we haven’t picked a winner from last week’s contest yet! We will pick shortly & announce the winner soon! THANKS to everyone who has entered. The entries we’ve read so far are amazing & it’s hard to choose a favorite!

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTR, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

198 Commented

Twilight Rumors

Not a rumor- a dream

Dear Gossip hounds,

A few weeks back I got a frantic IM chat from a friend saying BREAKING NEWS: The Twilight saga ends on 11/16/2012. My immediate thought was, “Breaking? Didn’t that break months ago?” And as I thought more about it…. I don’t know. I definitely knew the Twilight Saga was wrapping in November of 2012- or maybe that was a rumor I heard once. Orrrr maybe someone in the know told me. Maybe Stephenie Meyer wrote it on a slip of paper & passed it to us under the table at the interview and we were like, “Seriously? We ask you for the Robsten audition tape so we can burn it and you give us this?” or maybe I actually didn’t know that date and just assumed that to be the case? Because that’s what Harry Potter did (and Summit realizes they should copy them since they’re kinda successful) or I’m just way too involved in this fandom that I have a sense about these kind of things. I get a tingly feeling & just know the Twi-future. Call me Alice.

Then I got to thinking- I don’t know what’s real, rumor or secretive anymore. I mean, IS it public knowledge that Ashley Greene & Joe Jonas are together? Or is that just still a rumor circulating among the gossip rags? And is it actually true or do I just want it to be true- a former Disney star with a purity ring giving it up to an up-and-coming star too beautiful to be already desperate enough to date someone born in the 90s (who just yesterday turned old enough to legally knock back a few shots before she shows him what’s underneath that painted on bathing suit)  And don’t even get me started on all the rumors we’ve been told about different Twi cast members being gay. (Some obvious, some not so obvious, some that we spent an entire weekend laughing over until we decided it couldn’t be true- or wait, could it!? Sorry- mums the word!) I mean unless it’s Rob- does anyone honestly really care? Well, maybe we’d care if we found out Taylor was too… because that would make so much sense.

So I started thinking about all the rumors I’ve heard over the past almost 2 years and I came up with quite a list…. mostly about Robsten… and people Ashley may or may not have slept with… Did I miss anything?

  • Why would you cheat on me? Do I look special or something?

    Rob & Nikki are together

  • Rob & Kristen are hooking up behind Oregano’s back
  • Kristen & Nikki are more than friends (I started that one, thank you very much)
  • Nikki sold out Rob & Kristen
  • Kristen is pregnant
  • Ashley’s hooked up with Kellan
  • Ashley’s hooked up with Jackson
  • Ashley’s dating Jared from Kings of Leon (and assumingly has hooked up with him)
  • Rob & Kristen are together
  • Rob & Kristen are no longer together
  • Rob & Kristen- BACK ON
  • No one likes Nikki Reed
  • Jackson hooks up with anyone & everyone
  • Rob & Kristen like to hold hands
  • Kellan is sticking his tongue down that Anna girl’s throat
  • Taylor is with Taylor Swift
  • Taylor is gay
  • Justin Chon is gay
  • David Slade is gay
  • People still don’t like Nikki Reed. And possibly don’t like Elizabeth Reeser either

    Why don't people like me!?

  • Peter & Jennie are swingers
  • Twi (male) cast member in Vancouver put ad in Craig’s list for Asian male companionship
  • Big Daddy Lautner wears a fat suit (he’s actually really in shape)
  • Chris Hansen likes little boys
  • Nikki Reed started a blog so that people like her
  • A cat will play Edward Cullen in Breaking Dawn parts 1 & 2
  • Buttcrack Santa: What does he really do with those little bottles?
  • UnintendedChoice to replace Kristen Stewart as Bella in Breaking Dawn Parts 1 & 2 (for this rumor to be true the Edward Cullen played by a cat is not true)
  • Rob & Kristen open mouth kiss before heading into house parties where dirty men’s sweatpants are considered appropriate attire.

Okay so maybe I took some creative liberties on a few rumors… but most of them I’ve honestly heard at one time or another… So all that to say, this is what I have to say about the BREAKING NEWS about Breaking Dawn Part 2 that I may or may not have already known:

“Holy Shit. I seriously have to talk about this every day for another effing 2 and 1/2 years?”

Hold me,


Beg all you want, some rumors stay with me- but seriously… what have you heard that came true or was proved wrong? Any good rumors circulating out there right now? Was there an immaculate conception of the Robsten baby by the open mouth house party kiss? Fingers crossed!

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTR, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

70 Commented

Taylor Lautner Appreciation Sunday

IllegalWolfLover has never hid the fact that she’s a MAJOR, MAJOR Taylor Lautner fan! She does it again with a great letter for Taylor Lautner Appreciation Sunday!

Dear Taylor Lautner,

It’s me again. Surprised? (No, please take your finger off the speed dial to Dateline, it’s not that kind of letter…it will be after February, but that’s another story altogether)

I read on Ace Showbiz that you wanted to be considered a serious actor rather than a piece of meat and that you don’t want to take your shirt off ever again. I totally agree. We should look at you the same way we do Rob, as a well-rounded actor, singer and athlete (ok so maybe Rob doesn’t do that…). So in order to respect your wishes, I will hereby only look at you with your clothes on (this also may change in February). In keeping with my oath and also to spread the love of Taylor Re-clothed, I decided to share from my personal stash of Taycob Porn  random pics I found on the internet of you in all your clothed glory.

We appreciate you trying hard to be hobo-Tay and failing…miserably

We appreciate you being part of the holy threesome…

We appreciate the shout-out to Edward….way to rock the pea-coat…

(Now if only Rob would return the favour )

We appreciate you making the sour-puss smile….(urgh..snake skin)

We appreciate how you can make us believe we’re right there with you… even though it’s wrong and we’re all going to hell….

We appreciate your dedication to the role…

We appreciate you holding your own next to his holy hotness…

And finally

We appreciate that you clean up nice…REEEAAL NIICE!!!

Oh and before I forget

We appreciate you for giving us the wonder that is Big Daddy…(or vice versa…)

I think I defeated my purpose of appreciating you in the right way, but at least we didn’t ask you take your shirt off….

p.s.  stop talking about your body altogether…every time a reporter asks you about it…whistle, walk away, say “have mercy”, do the “cut-it-out” sign or make Rob take his shirt off…instant dodge! And never under any circumstance say things like “I did it for the fans”, “it’s cold in Vancouver when you’ve got no clothes on” or “I hope you guys like it”.

What? You already said that? Well then….good luck keeping your shirt buddy…

Wondering why there are cops at my door,
Me (Illegalwolflover)

Look at us! We can appreciate Taylor even when he has his shirt ON!

One Year later and our internet game is still ridiculous (and our Kung Fu is STILL strong): The Forum, LTR, Twitter

46 Commented

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