Send (us) Twilight your Holiday Wishes!

A very merry...

Dear LTT-ers,

You know how on like December 20th you remember CRAP I haven’t sent/done/made/mailed the Christmas cards yet and I REALLY wanted to include Kellan/Rob/Taylor/Nikki /Stephenie/Summit/the person who created those Twilight bandaids on my list. Well have NO fear because we have you covered. Inspired by “Wish the Obama’s Well for 2012” and our pal Bella Not an Addikt, we’ve created this totally fake AWESOME form for you to send your Holiday Greetings, thanks, and New Year’s hopes to anyone in the Twilight Universe!

Want to share you 2012 wishes with Kristen or tell Solomon how much you wish he would have a cameo in BD2? This is the place… we will see to it that they get delivered… right to our inbox! Then if we laugh hard enough or our cold, dead hearts cry a little your entry may be featured next week right here on LTT!

Holiday Wishes

And as is tradition here at LTT/LTR here is our 2011 Christmas card… now imagine we printed these, wrote your name and address in calligraphy on the envelope, mailed with the a christmas stamp to your house and it’s currently hanging on your fridge/Xmas card holder. Awwww…. isn’t that a nice thought?!


 (click to enlarge)

Happiest of Christmases, Hanukkah’s, Chrismukkah’s, Festivas’s and whatever else you may celebrate! We love you!
Moon & UC

Have something for Rob or anyone associated with him? Head over to LTR.

Sources: Template Source, underclass_memii

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTRThe ForumTwitterThe Store

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Merry Christmas from LTT and the Twilight gang!

Click to enlarge and print for your fridge

Dear Twilight and our awesome LTT readers,

What are you doing online?! It’s Christmas! Instead of writing a letter for today we decided to “send” you a Christmas card to help spread the joy. Enjoy today and we’ll see you back here next week.  We’ll be featuring some fun posts this weekend with the help of our great gals in the forum so check back when you’re stuffed on leftovers and need a little break from your creepy uncle Rob and pestering aunt Edna.

Merry Christmas!!
Moon and UC

PS Don’t miss out on our LTR Christmas Card!

Our internet game is still ridiculous (and our Kung Fu is STILL strong): The Forum, LTR, Twitter

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Buttcrack Santa writes US a letter!

*Here’s a first! Buttcrack Santa himself (non canon character infamously in the Twilight movie) has written us a little letter and you might be surprised that he’s alive and well and terrorizing little children this Christmas… he wants to share a little bit with you. Enjoy!*

My idea of a good night

Dear LTT readers and my loyal Buttcrack Santa Fans,

It’s a widely circulated rumor that I died in Twilight the movie at the hands of those jerkoff nomadic vampaires who jacked up my boat when in reality they just took my shit and then left me in that super sketchy boat marina while they went to find those losers the Cullens who as it turns out were playing BASEBALL in some field. And here’s a little secret for you, those Cullen kids, they’re VAMPIRES like those other jerkoffs. Vampires playing baseball? What the ef is that about? So now that I escaped their evil clutches and I have a new lease on life I spend my free days doing whatever I please… somedays I go fishing, somedays I sneak up on Cora, the waitress, and watch her through her apartment window while she’s getting ready for work, other days I dream about the diner’s steak and cobbler and still other days I hang out with “the boys” in Port Angeles since apparently that’s where you go for cheap booze and loose women… or just lost high school girls, either or.
c

Merry frickin' Christmas!

So since no one really knows what the HALE I do for a living and it IS that time of year again, I’m back at my most favorite job in the world. Yes folks, it’s Christmas time so I’m reprising my most famous role as Forks’ own creep-o store Santa. Affectionately known to you all as: Buttcrack Santa, who some believe says inappropriate things to the kids and may or may not have given underage children little bottles of alcohol instead of those crusty ol candy canes. Tell me, who wants some broke ass candy cane when you can have a little bottle of Peppermint Schnapps? That’s a big DUH right there. Booze and cruise, yall! A shot of Schnapps for the kiddo’s will make that hellacious shopping trip so much better for the parents. So you see I’m doing them a favor. They should be thanking me instead of trying to get me fired. Ungrateful jerks. I may just have to report them to the REAL Santa as “naughty.” See if they like those lump of coals in their stocking instead of a fishing pole or perhaps a… LITTLE BOTTLE?!

Take the cut to read the rest and see Buttcrack Santa’s Christmas Card to you!
Continue…

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