Movefone helps us figure out who’s on The List!

Are you on it?

Dear Summit,

You know that “list” we’re always talking about… the list with the names of all the crazies who set stalk, call you daily, want to BE Kristen or Rob or Taylor or Mike Welch or have been found in the bushes outside of Rob’s parents home? If you need video or pictures to help train your staff on how to distinguish people who should be on “the list” that I think I’ve found your answer.

It looks like MovieFone’s done ALL the legwork for you. They have a contest going where fans submit videos explaining why they’re the biggest Twilight fan. All you need to do is contact Moviefone, watch these videos and then perform a sting operation to infiltrate the crazies lair of crazy (I’m trademarking that) and take these people down

How to spot someone on “The List”

Exhibit A:

1. If someone says “this is more than an obsession, it’s a way of life.” You need to give them the side eye and the simultaneous head nod to have security send them to the “safe zone” aka the back of the paddy wagon. Decorate it with Twilight posters and they’ll think they’re in a special after party location instead of being driven to the edge of town and dumped after the event is over.

2. If someone mentions anything using the word “bullets” whether taking one for a cast member or has a membership to the gun club or tells you they just finished their 7 day mandatory wait period before buying a handgun, don’t hesitate, immediately illuminate the “Twi Signal” in the sky (a sparkling paw print) and have Dean or the Po-po take them down.

3. During the above mentioned sting operation, when you bust through the door of their home like the Feds looking for Elian Gonzalez if you see movie quotes such as “You are my life now” proceed with take down. Use a rolled up Harpars Bazaar or Vanity Fair as a gag if they start getting mouthy or quoting Twilight

4. Are they wearing a wedding dress and veil for unexplained reasons?

5. Is there any sort of Twilight Tattoo involved?

6. If someone has both Edward & Jacob posters on her wall, grab her fast. She’s not picky- she’ll take either and they are the craziest kind.

7. If the posters are ALL Kristen, they’re a Krisbian and they can be the most hardcore and most dedicated, so take them down immediately or risk them using their well practiced “Bitch brow” to stare you into submission. And no one wants to be stared at like a petulant teenager.

You see Summit, with my handy checklist and this video you’ll be able to spot the crazies and get rid of them as necessary so that the rest of us can enjoy all Twilight events without having to wear the Twilight bullet proof vest that’s available at Hot Topic.

Now will you take US off the list? Thanks!
Themoonisdown

Do you think you’d be on the list? Is this girl crazy or normal? Can you identify or are you too busy painting Twilight quotes on the wall of your cell bedroom?

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTR, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

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68 Commented


What about… Vampire animals?

Moon & UC are still “Gone Fishin” (literally UC’s dad wants to drag her deep sea fishin’ today. um no) so sit back & relax while someone ELSE takes the LTT reigns!

Hi Stephenie,

It seems to be some unwritten rule around these parts that we never address you directly, but today I’m going to shove protocol aside and ask you a question that has been bugging me for some time now.

So the other day I was making puzzles for LTR with my bloggy pal
Alice_NaA and she made a rebus with a picture of sparkly doe in it. And that sparkly doe reminded me of a question that had occurred to me while I was reading the saga for the very first time, back in April 2009 (ah, good times…): What happens if a vegetarian vampire bites
an animal, but it manages to escape before it is killed?
Would the animal then become a vampire animal? And if so, would they sparkle in the sunlight too, like that cute sparkly doe?

If you think about it, it’s even plausible that vampire animals might exist. Why wouldn’t a lonely 4-century old vampire create himself a cuddly vampire cat as a companion? Or a vampire horse – just imagine how fast you’d be able to travel with one of those! Or maybe a vampire bat, if you like that tongue-in-cheek kinda humor.

And really, shoving aside the fact that vampires and most mythical creatures don’t really exist, aren’t most of these myths based on exaggerated natural phenomena anyway? Take rabies, for example. In ancient times, couldn’t the fear people had of rabid animals have evolved into a myth about vampire animals? And ultimately, ‘human’ vampires?

Or let’s take something more recent, like the fox plague we’re
currently experiencing in Britain and Contintental Europe (Yes people… a fox plague. We have such rustic plagues here on the old continent. Alongside the modern ones of rats and pigeons, of course.). Apparently foxes enter chicken houses to kill one chicken for dinner, but then go crazy and just bite all the other chickens until they are dead. Now maybe, just maybe, we are not really having a fox plague… but it’s all the work of a newborn vampire fox! Heck, maybe it’s even a newborn vampire fox army! Think about it… Yes, that totally makes sense. Totally. I’m glad we figured this one out. I can now sleep
soundly again (aside from the fact that an army of undead foxes is wandering around my country, but well…)

They’re not bears… they’re vampire foxes!
Bella_NaA

PS: You know, now that you got me thinking about it, new questions arise…
like, what would a vegetarian human like myself who became a vampire eat? Would we really suddenly shove our principles aside and kill animals for consumption? Or would we turn to,
say… ketchup? Help me out here, Steph…

PPS: Will you please invite Letters to Twilight for another exclusive interview again for the release of Breaking Dawn so they can ask these questions for me? Many thanks!

I love Bella_NaA (and her partner in Twi-Crime Alice_NaA) for always asking the important Twilight questions!

Wanna win a prize? After the jump play a game for a chance to win! Continue…

70 Commented


My perfect New Moon premiere outfit – Contest

Dear New Moon cast members,

We are 34 days from the premiere of New Moon and to be honest I’m started to freak out a little bit.That’s 34 days till every Twihard descends on Los Angeles to hunt you like dogs in the street. Ok, maybe it won’t be that intense. 34 days till UC and I are reunited again. 34 days till I get to meet tons of our awesome readers turned pals! 34 days till we make out with Chris Weitz to how our gratitude. But mostly there’s only 34 days for me to pick out the perfect outfit to wear when I see New Moon. You can imagine how much I’ve been thinking about this. UC has already pulled her perfect outfit together so I’m under the gun and I need to find the hottest, sexiest outfit that will make Rob stop dead in his tracks.

So I got to thinking that I should probably wear something comfortable since I’ll have to be able to punch and kick easily and the outfit needs to be able to last several days out in the elements as I’ll be sleeping on the sidewalk in front of the theater next to a hobo. Because of these prerequisites I’ve decided I should role with a tshirt and here are the options I’ve found…

monster
I’m just a werewolf… not a mummy or a zombie or even a cookie monster. Sorry to let you down

Follow the cut to see my NM outfit and to learn about our CONTEST!
Continue…

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And even MORE Imma contest entries!

Dear Imma contest entrants and LTT-ers,

I know what you’re thinking “Wow, UC & Moon are SO lazy. They took advantage of the “Imma enter a Twilight contest contest” entries & have now posted them THREE days in a row as an excuse for a break from blogging.” And you would be right. We did this. Because bloggers are people too. And sometimes we get busy & need a break. Plus we’re lazy.

Since there were SO many good entries and since only two special folks could win AND since  we just happened to create fake categories that just happen to fit perfectly with some of the entries we’ve created fake prizes to show you just how much we love you. Cause we care. Sometimes.

Time for the funny…

Best entry featuring an American more popular in Germany than his home country

Kendall – You win the complete series of Baywatch on DVD and a private performance of “Hooked on a Feeling” by the Hoff himself! Lucky.

Best entry featuring an infomercial host who’s now in jail


JodieO – you win a free palm reading session with Jackson. He may not really be able to read palms but he definitely see’s a 100 Monkeys concert in your future

Follow the cut to see more entries!
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Imma give you a Cullen smile this weekend!

Dear LTT-ers and Imma Contest Participants-

Yesterday we presented you with the winners of the Imma Contest and promised that all weekend we’d be bringing you the rest of the best from the entries we received. Since there were SO many good entries and since only two special folks could win AND since  we just happened to create fake categories that just happen to fit perfectly with some of the entries and since (this is a lot of since’s)  we don’t have real prizes for all these lovely ladies, we’ve created fake ones to celebrate your amazing-ness. Cause that’s what we do here.

So here we go…

Best entry sucking up to the judges

Team Seth you win one day in fake lesbianship with us. A threesome, if you will. Rob is gonna be jealous. So is Stephenie.

Best entry featuring a dead artist from Sun Records – It’s a TIE!!!

Alice and Bella from Not an Addikt – You win a tube of ointment for that burning ring of yours. Ouch.

AND


@Chelseaheptig you win a lifetime’s supply of Dippity Doo hair gel and a peanut butter banana sandwich made by Edward Cullen himself

Follow the cut to see more Imma entries!
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