Crazytimes Wednesdays

Crazy Fan

Almost as Crazy as this fan

Dear Twilight,

You know what we haven’t done in awhile? Shared stories, letters, songs & poems from crazy fans. You thought we stopped getting them, didn’t you? Ohhh no- we still get them. We still keep them. Our “Crazies” folder is STILL over-flowing. And today we have some REALLY good ones to share with you:

Crazy Tune:

Kicking us off is a song written for Breaking Dawn. I’d make up a tune & sing it for you all, but I’m pretty sure I’m gonna save that for a bet with Moon that I know I’m going to win- like naming 20 “outfits” Rob Pattinson has worn in the past year & where each item was purchased- and let her sing it when she loses:

Imprinted Love
It’s something I didn’t plan
it’s something I didn’t plan
I told you it’s part of the werewolf gang
I thought you were the only one to see

You’re the one I wanted
not the one I loved
when I saw her I knew she’s the one
went to search for her when she was near
It’s something I feared

Imprinted love on the one I thought who would kill you
imprinted love on the one who held me near
no matter how many times we said goodbye
imprinted love on Renesmee the half mortal and immortal

I didn’t knew she was the one who kept me near
when you wanted me to disappear
The one who stole my heart like Edward stole yours
I’m sorry if you’re mad but like I told you before

Imprinted love is not something you can control
imprinted love is not something you can choose
or change it’s for the one that will take care of your heart
imprinted love on Renesmee the half mortal and immortal

I taught you were my love and my life
but I was wrong
He is your love, your imprinted one
just like Renesmee is my imprinted love

For now I’ll be her brother
the one who protects her, then her friend
whom she can trust and love
maybe one day she’ll learn to love me as I love her

Bella I’ll always be there for you
I’ll always love you just like a son loves his mom
I don’t want anything els than to be your friend
but my true love for Renesmee will always win
imprinted love

Then there’s:
The Girl on Team Edward with “a homeless friend”

Maybe this guy is the crazy fan

Just like all of the fans of the twilight cast My desire is to truly be able to contact them to let them know how we feel about our favorite actor or actress. And to thank Stephenie Meyer, for taking the time to write the novel that sparked life into all our lives. Both women and men. I happen to be Team Edward. My desire is to see him in person. I’ve been tempted to catch the plane, come out there and share the ground with my homeless friend just for the opportunity to see him, walk the runway or visit on the outside of a site where he is working. Hoping to catch sight of him. Sometimes the urge is so great I’ve called my friend to tell her im on my way. I don’t think I would enjoy sleeping outside in the elements But if I knew that I could see him , I would take the chance. I have little hope now that my friend have lost the car she was sleeping in. I was counting on furnishing the gas and she would at least drive me around. I watched when fans put up their tents and envied them, wishing I was there. My children
and grandchildren are embrassed when I talk about Edward and my desire to see him in person. To hear his voice, see his gorgeous hair. But I would be satisfied just to get a e-mail from him. I tried to get to Chicago, when he was there its closer to my home. But I got sick. He was on the Oprah show. I sent him a birthday card to the show . Hope he got it. hope he e-mail me back, I will be waiting.

The kids who never learned celebrities don’t care about you

Hi this is pat and I would like to invite taylor lautner to my sweet fifteen im only twelve so im only gonna need two more years and its going to be in puerto rico and I hope too see him in and come enjoy the party hope to see him.please come taylor.

And the one we totally can’t understand

Did she write this letter?

I am a way ovr obsesses fan (according 2 my friends) but I dont think u can evr b 2 obssesive i mean twilight is amazing and when ppl say they dont like ik theyre just lieing 2 get attention cuz its impossible not 2 luv my favorite book waz breaking dawn but it waz hard 2 coose cuz theyre all amazing i am constantly rereading them over and ovr and my parents r always like stop readin them and read somethin else but i just cant the background on my desktop and laptop r both twilight saga pics and quotes i cant imagine a world w/o twilight i wish it waz real it would b so kwl none of my friends r rly tht into them so i nvr have any1 2 tlk 2 nout them i have so much twilight merchandise and evrythin and read book related 2 twilight 2 like bedazzled, twilight and history, etc. theyre rly interesting and i would give them a try since ur a die-hard twilight fan i am members of a lot of fan fourm/blogs/websites and its great 2 knw tht there r others like me i lu the idea of ur website and think it is rly kwl
thanks so much 4 the websie,
G

And after the jump, PLEASE don’t miss the most Epic Crazy story of all time!! Continue…

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Wednesday LTT Twivia

Dear LTTers who need a refresher,

Tonight after I rocked the mic with Bon Jovi at our first ever LTT karaoke party in Los Angeles, some of the gals decided to do a little “Twivia” aka: Twilight Trivia. The loser had to down a really gross shot. I knew NONE of the answers. I was ashamed. And also kinda tipsy, so I blamed it on the Goose. But it got me thinking that maybe it was time for a refresher.  New Moon is coming out in less than 48 hours (YAY!) and SOME of us are re-reading it, but maybe it would be good to go over some of the most common questions that people have about the Twilight Saga- specifically about Breaking Dawn and all the love-making in front of a fire on a bear skin rug that apparently goes on.

I consulted my favorite source for quality questions and answers, Wikianswers and just know that the following information will be of great value for your life.

(Note: These are actual questions I found followed by actual answers by WikiAnswers users. MY response is in purple below the real answer)

BreakinDawnFamily

Breaking Dawn might not come out because this is creepy as f*ck


Q
Why might breaking dawn not come out?

A:  Well on YouTube, it shows trailers of Breaking Dawn. Even pictures of the Reneesme’(s) playing Reneesme; so I’m pretty sure they are making Breaking Dawn in to a movie. I’ve seen the trailer’s for Breaking Dawn, and they totally relate to the book. The actors work on all the movies together, to get it done faster and to make more money, So they could be making Breaking Dawn right now.

On you tube there’s also a video of me with an Edward Cullen life-sized cut out holding hands and kissing in my bed. And that’s true- I am Edward Cullen’s real-life girlfriend, so I guess everything on you tube is rightt. So yes, Breaking Dawn must be coming out soon.

Q In Breaking Dawn do they describe the sex scene?

A: The sex scene in Breaking Dawn is described to some extent, however, Stephenie Meyer doesn’t go into very explicit details. She describes the before and the after scenes, and it does say that they had sex.But you know if bella skipped a period, that means she had sex and she’s pregnant.

Oh S*it. Is that what it means? I hear that sometimes though when you throw up to stay skinny you can skip a period. Maybe that’s why I haven’t gotten mine the past few months. What about this growing bump around my tummy though? Does Stephenie explain what that is? And I also hear that if you ride horses a lot when you’re younger you can lose your virginity. Is this true?

Q What is the name of Carlisle Cullen’s father?

A: Never told – But rumored to be Ptolemy, Which mean’s to Hunt, war, war like, and aggressive.

Wow- Twi-dork of the day award. Also, I agree. Ptolemy was a really popular name in London in the 1640s. Wasn’t it King Edward IV, then King George, King Charles then King Ptolemy?

Read more after the jump! Continue…

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The Internet Has Spoken: Twilight is Lame

Dear people who don’t live in a Twilight bubble (aka normal people, most people in the universe & people I should spend more time with),

Sometimes when I see/hear/think of things in the Twilight world that you are also seeing/hearing/experiencing without being in the Twilight bubble yourself, I get really 2nd-hand embarrassed. Like, it’s one thing for ME to go to see a band play who’s lead singer is the baby mama of the 2nd-cousin of the father of the dude who plays Jacob’s sister Rebecca’s husband and see a crazed fan with a Twilight-themed tattoo and her fake lesbian life partner holding all 4 books plus a print-out of Midnight Sun for the the lead singer to sign, but for “normal” people to see that? Or even KNOW it exists? I apologize on behalf of the fandom.

I recently came across this website that has a ‘guide’ for all things Twilight called, “The Internet has spoken: Twilight is lame.” I read what they posted; I laughed along with them, and then I covered my face in 2nd-hand embarrassment because THEY think WE ALL are crazy for liking Twilight and are ALL crazy fans. And now I’m sure ALL FOUR of their readers probably agree with them. So I’m gonna do what any respectable 2nd-hand embarrassed person would do- share the embarrassment with all of MY readers so that we can, once again, thank the Twilight god (Buttcrack Santa, of course, turned into a god after his ascension into heaven) that we can proudly exclaim about all our Twilight actions: “That’s Normal.” (All our actions except attending that 100Monkey’s show. That was not normal! )

Enjoy today’s Monday Funnies after the jump! Continue…

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Our Crazy Twilight Life

Dear LTTers,

If you think Rob & Kristen have had a crazy time since Twilight made it big, you should see what happens to Moon & I in our lives. We were just two little twenty-somethings, minding our own business, breaking down that 1 hour long Vanity Fair vid that we love so much when BAM- we suddenly have a blog bigger than we ever expected where sometimes, when UC writes a post about Cougars & Robert Pattinson, it gets reposted on a blog who’s description is:

Catering to men leaving the country for a good time

(They also give re-post love to blogs about hot Asian girls with sexy legs)

And right before I got the good news about us being the new spokeswomen for prostitution in Thailand, I signed into wordpress.com (our blogging platform) to approve some comments and I noticed that wordpress thought our post about Cougars and Robert Pattinson deserved the term “Hawt.” And they decided to throw my face nice & big next to the post- ensuring that everyone will now think I am the cougar instead of the 26 year old I actually am, and solidifying the fact that my dad will find out I run this blog instead of do work at his company since he knows every single thing about every single cougar in the Tri-state area.

Daddy, I promise I work on the blog from 5:15pm-11:15pm. Not during office hours

Daddy, I promise I work on the blog from 5:15pm-11:15pm. Not during office hours

And then there was that time when Moon was in her office, minding her own beeswax, and her co-worker (the goddess who introduced her to the Twilight series) IMed her and said “You gotta check out this hilarious new blog I found: LetterstoTwilight.com” and Moon frantically tried to play it off like she was surprised to hear of this brand new blog until she finally gave up and confessed she runs the blog and moved on to trying to figure out how to explain to her coworker where she gets the time to run a blog (Coworker: blog running always happens from the hours of 5:15pm-11:15pm- don’t worry. I can vouch for Moon)

Smile Girls. Someone approves your fakelesbian-ship

Smile Girls. Someone approves your fakelesbian-ship

And sometimes, when I am drifting off to sleep while trying to clear our LTT e-mail inbox thinking “please let this be the last one. God I promise I will never let 3 weeks go by without replying to e-mails every again,” I come across a gem like this:

im deeply in luv with all characters from twilight saga. i hear tht ppl think nikki and kristen saposably are in an affair??? well who cares i luv them both and i will stick up for them as long as i live. both are best friends for each other and best friends are always close…extremely close. so they may have tap kisses here and there but those can be friend kisses or not. i mean look at nikki shes beautiful im a 15 y/o girl and if i had the chance to kiss her i would same for kristen. im not bi or les but hey i wouldnt and dont care what ppl would say.

And when all these things happen within a few days of each other, I think to myself, “Those Twilight kids have it easy- Moon & I are the ones with the crazy lives.”

And then at 12am Saturday morning when I’m in a video/audio/text chat room with 11 LTT/LTR pals, and everytime a new “guest” arrives I ask ‘Is that you, Rob?”, Moon and I end up having a side conversation and gushing how 6 months ago, we knew none of the girls (and one unicorn!) we were chatting with. And we will take the people who mistake us for cougars, the co-workers who find out our secrets, the jailtime in Thailand for soliciting prostitutes & the crazy e-mails, just because we love all of you. And we also believe it’s about time we share more of the crazy e-mails we receive, so this will become a more regular feature!

Love,
UnintendedChoice

What in the world is going on in Rob’s world over on LTR?
Chat it up! In The Forum

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Lovin' 100Monkeys means you'll be loved in return

Dear God, please let this girl's name be Bella

Dear God, please let this girl's name be Bella

Dear girls who thought by seeing the 100Monkeys last night at The Khyber in Philly Rob will now declare his eternal love for you,

Did he? Did Rob call you this morning anxious to begin your love affair? I figured. Cuz there’s nothing that turns on an actor more than girls showing up to a co-star’s band’s show wearing Twilight T-shirts, showing off their Twilight tats, swinging their home-made Jasper handbags over their shoulders, wearing a monkey hat, carrying around a huge stuffed monkey and asking when “Jasper” is going on stage.

By bringing a Monkey to the 100Monkey's show, Rob will be so happy & make me his wife

By bringing a Monkey to the 100Monkey's show, Rob will be so happy & make me his wife

How ever will Rob chose between you all?

Last night was amazing. Big hugs to all the LTT/LTRs I met. Real recap to come this week. It’s 2:16 am and I need my beauty rest if I am going to be at my best for Rob’s call in the am, declaring his love for me since I saw a show tonight where the lead singer happened to be in two movies with him and they may or may not be friends outside of work.

Love,
UnintendedChoice

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