Twilosophy – Emmett & Rosalie – just the muscle of the Cullen Family or so much more?

Dear Twilight,

I’ve been thinking… on the heels of the whole cell phone post I’ve been going back to the basics of Twilight… some Twilight origins posts if you will. So today we pose the question: do Emmett and Rosalie feel worthless since they have no special powers like the others? Edward can read minds, Alice can see the future, Jasper can change and effect moods, Bella has the crazy mind shield thing, Carlisle has a super vampire resistance to blood and well Esme… she’s married to him so she’s ok.

Hey guys, does anyone need their car fixed? Or maybe a log moved?

But what about poor Rosalie and Emmett… are they just the muscle of the Cullen family? Hauling logs before the wedding. Chasing after James. Keeping the cars maintained and installing stereos. Basically Emmett and Rosalie are the ex Best Buy employees the Cullens agreed to let live with them just because they’re handy around the house. Maybe this is why Rosalie is really so sully… after all these years she’s tired of the rest of the Cullens reading her mind or predicting her future or just plain out doing her. It really has nothing to do with the fact that Carlisle made her into a vampire when she was dying… and really talk about ungrateful.

Imagine if Em and Rose ever showed up in Voltera… Aro would be like “wait, who are you guys? Oh the Cullen’s hired help…. Yea well good luck with whatever… we don’t have any openings right now but we’ll keep you in mind.” Ya know the old don’t call us we’ll call you routine.

Let me get my wig on straight first THEN I'll tell you what I think

I posed the question to a few friends as we sat around talking with New Moon playing in the background… cause that’s something we do on a Sunday afternoon in LA. Right. One friend said isn’t Rosalie’s power being really beautiful? Um, while I’m sure that statement is more loaded and requires a totally different post that I can tackle today, I’m going to go with a NO. Her beauty has never gotten them out of a jam (or into one) the way say Alice’s power to see the future has. But maybe it’s her ability to be both lioness/mama bear while being vulnerable and able to tell the truth? If anyone’s the first to speak the truth, it’s Rosalie Hale. You wanna know if Rosalie thinks this whole Bella as Edward’s girlfriend is a good idea? Rosalie’s gonna tell you. You pondering major life decisions like whether to become a vampire or stay a fragile, killable human? Rosalie’s gonna tell you. You wanna know why your boyfriend’s “sister” resents your presence in her family? Rosalie’s gonna tell you.

Don't worry Edward, Emmett got this!

Then we talked about how Emmett was super strong but that’s not really a super power because they’re vampires, they’re all really strong. One friend also pointed out that Emmett is such a dope he probably doesn’t even know he’s not super special like Edward or Alice. But what about his courage? Is Emmett the reverse cowardly lion of the Cullen’s? It seems like anytime the shit goes down, Emmett is the first to jump in the mix and really that’s pretty invaluable in the grand scheme of life. Tracker going after Bella? Emmett’s got this. Werewolves out to attack the Cullen’s? Emmett’s got this. Carlisle needs to go feed before Bella gives birth and the Werewvoles need distracting? Emmett’s got this. Victoria on the lose and needs hunting down? Emmett’s got this. Bella needs to test her newborn vampy strengths? Emmett’s got this.

So really, I guess those ARE their super powers… they may not be as obvious as the rest of the Cullen’s but when a situation is gettin’ REAL real I want Emmett and Rosalie there… who else could reluctantly rub up on a tree in your jacket and make it look sexy?

We got this!

Have you ever thought about that? Did SMeyer just run out of ideas for Emmett and Rosalie or was it all part of the plan?

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A letter to the Cullens, Corner shop owners:

From time to time I forget about the Cullens. In a world of Rob and Robsten and Taysten and Big Daddy, it’s easy to forget we actually liked the Cullens first. But this letter reminded me today of those vampires we all fell for so very long ago:

Dear Cullen family,

Every once in a while I drive by your corner market and deli. I know it’s yours because

  1. you named it after yourself.
  2. I think you probably have a little entrepreneurial spirit in you.
  3. It makes perfect sense that you’d move from Forks to Portland Oregon – stay where the weather suits you… and
  4. You like to keep a low profile and what’s lower than a corner grocery in a somewhat seedy part of town?

What I’ve been wondering is who’s minding the store? (No, I’ve never stopped in to see. I’m not sure about the neighborhood and, more importantly, how would I explain my reaction to my daughters and husband if Edward happened to be behind the counter? I’m just pretending that my husband doesn’t think I’m crazy already.)

I went through each person in your family, debating on who I’m most likely to run into:

Run the family business? No way! I'm too busy being a Doctor & having very unfortunate hair

Carlisle – Well obviously, no.  I mean you’re busy as a Dr. I’d be more likely to run into you at my job at the hospital (oh please, please come sauntering through my door in your white lab coat a la Twilight!)

Esme – There’s no way. As you can see, the building has no architectural integrity to it whatsoever. If you ever got close to it I’m sure it would be much more aesthetically pleasing. I mean, there are bars on the windows and the paint on the sign is chipping away!

Jasper – While you would be helpful in soothing the minds of all the potential armed robbers that come waltzing through the doors I think that trying to control all of those out of control emotions would eventually overwhelm you. Then we’d have a highly trained soldier with a nervous breakdown who also happens to like to snack on human blood on our hands. Low profile gone. Why don’t you stay away from that store Jasper, just a friendly suggestion.

You should have SEEN the customer's outfits today, Bella. There was flannel & pull-overs and... oh... you would've fit right in...

Alice – Well, you could definitely have everyone’s purchases bagged and ready for them when they walked through the door but I think that having to face all of those poorly dressed customers would drive you crazy. So there, you and Jasper both gone crazy – I think we’ve established that neither one of you should get anywhere near that place.

Edward – Oh how I wish you were tending the store, Edward. But then again, maybe not. I might be embarrassed to have you see what I’m purchasing and, since you can read minds, there’s no way I could sneak that emergency pack of tampons in with the random gum, milk and motor oil I’m piling on the counter to distract you. Plus, I just don’t think you could hold it together with all of the customers coming in and out with their mundane and pedestrian thoughts assaulting you all day. You’d definitely lose your cool and toss one out the front door.

Bella – Well, to put it simply, if Edward wasn’t there you’re certainly not going to be there! Not that I can blame you.  Plus, you’ve already worked retail at Newton’s Outfitters so I think you’ve put in your customer service time. Whew, you dodged a bullet!

Rosalie – Are you kidding? There’s no way in hell you’d be caught dead working retail at Barneys, much less some disgusting little corner store that serves the sweaty and uncouth masses. I don’t even know why you’re on this list of considerations!

I give them one look at these abs and the customers buy extra cans of Spam!

Emmet – Yep, it’s totally you, isn’t it? You’re gregarious and big. Perfect for laughing and joking so that the gawkers become repeat customers and the potential robbers are scared away since they know you’d totally kick their ass. You’ve probably made friends with half the locals by this time, haven’t you? In fact, you’re probably having so much fun that someone needs to keep you in line. Oh! So Rosalie is there! Sorry Rose. That’s what happens when you fall for a big goof. Just stay in the back and don’t rip out anyone’s throat ok? You’ll have to move on in a few more years and hopefully it’ll just fade into a bad memory.

Well, I’ve figured it out…Now I just have to figure out how to hold it together when I make an impromptu visit and not blow your cover.

Thinking about what kind of sandwich I might order from the deli,


Of COURSE I googled this place and of COURSE they have a Yelp page & turns out Sarah was wrong about all of the above. According to one reviewer, the guy running the place is “an over-reacting Asian.” I’m guessing college didn’t work out for Eric Yorkie & The Cullen’s hired him to run their family biz. BIG Thumbs up to the first person who writes a Cullen’s Corner Yelp Review and mentions THE Cullens!

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTR, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

30 Commented

Our top ten favorite moments in Twilight, the movie

Dear LTT/LTR-ers and Twihards, lovers and haters of this site,

Today is another big day in the life of us here at LTT. Yes, you might have guessed it but today marks our TEN MONTH anniversary. Now not to get all high school relationship on you but we think blogging solid for ten months is a big deal. Countless hours, love, conversations, text messages, good ideas, really bad ideas (trust me, there are tons), blood sweat and tears have gone into these ten months so UC and I want to celebrate this week. In honor of our ten month anniversary we are going to be bringing you a new top ten list every day this week to celebrate and look towards the next ten!

So to kick off our top tens I’m gonna start us off with Top Ten Favorite Twilight Movie Moments! All the little things, the good and the sometimes cheesy things that we loved and couldn’t imagine living without. All the moments that we wanted to see make it in, the ones we didn’t know and the ones that made us fall in love with the story all over again… here they are

10. The Cullen’s enter the Cafeteria

The set up for the whole movie: who are those kids and why are they different and most importantly WHO IS THAT BOY? Why yes, it’s only the hottest boy to ever grace the United States public school system, that’s who. And he just happens to be a Vampire. Ok wait, she’ll learn that later… let’s not get ahead of ourselves now!

09. Animal Attack

Oh Carlisle you kill us with the delivery of that line coupled with the totally obvious stare down you give Edward. Yup, it was totally an animal that killed Buttcrack Santa and not some crazy psycho nomadic vampire that’s going to develop some weirdo fascination with Bella and stop at nothing to kill her. Yup, totes an animal.

Wanna find out what else made our top ten list of favorite Twilight Movie Moments? Follow the cut…

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You Belong to Me – Jasper and Alice

Dear Alice and Jasper-

It’s no secret I love your relationship the most out of the Cullen family and wish we could learn a little bit more backstory than what we’re given in the books and the 2 minutes of the movie that’s devoted to you. But I’m holding out hope that maybe someday SMeyer will have a change of heart and want to revisit the Twi characters and she’ll start with you guys. Or maybe I’ll just have to hope that someone writes a fan-damn-tabulous fanfic version of your story (so uh if you’ve found one email it to me). But until then I’ve got some sweet Jalice videos to tide me over…

This video uses one of my favorite songs “You Belong to Me” which was originally sung by a bunch of classic artists, my favorite being Dean Martin but this is a modern take on that classic and is quite awesome. I think the lyrics are timeless…

See the pyramids
Along the Nile
Watch the sun rise
On a tropic isle
Just remember darling all the while
You belong to me…

See the market place in old Algiers
Send me photographs
And souvenirs
Just remember ’til your dream appears
You belong to me….

I’ll be so alone
Without you
Maybe you’ll be lonesome, too
And blue

Fly the ocean
In a silver plane
See the jungle
When it’s wet with rain
Just remember
‘Til you’re home again
Or until I come home to you
You belong to me…

AWWWWWwwww… now go hug someone!

Happy Saturday!

Question: What is it about Jasper and Alice that makes them so special?

Watch some hot Rob videos!
Watch some more over in the video section of the forum!

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Happy 4th of July from the Twilight gang

flying-flagDear LTT readers,

The crew over at the Cullen house asked us to pass along their tips & advice to enjoy the best Independence Day possible!

(If you’re not from the US and not celebrating the holiday today, you could still take to heart these words of wisdom)

Carlisle: Practice safety while using fireworks. The 4th of July is the most dangerous holiday in the US due to misuse of fireworks. Most loss of limbs could be prevented- it is due to stupid mistakes from people not following instruction (When it’s not due to stupid mistakes, it’s usually the fault of my son, Jasper, but I don’t write that on the medical report)

Esme: If you don’t want to cook Italiano, try my favorite recipe. All the Cullens love it on special occasions. Hunt a fresh mountain lion and a fresh grizzly bear. Track them down, stalk them, pounce and then kill them. Drag them back to the family house and then drink the blood. Sprinkle with love and stir in good times.

Rosalie: When I was a human, I celebrated 4th of July every year by being crowned the Independence Queen at the Rochester, NY Independence Day fair. Of course, I never intended to become a vampire, so I don’t celebrate the holiday anymore.

Emmett: My advice is simple- get yourself a hot girl, a keg (I prefer a deer blood keg) and a raw bear burger. Grab the fam- play a lil baseball and you’re set!

Bella: I find to keep your child occupied during the day, if you have no other children for him/her to play with, it is best to invest in a dog.  In our case, we have a wolf. And while you’re at it, if your kids are playing with wolves, why not let them play in traffic too.

Edward: I’ve learned that if you have accident-prone or klutzy people in your family, it’s best to keep them away from the grill, the fireworks, the stick you use for s’mores, the diving board on the pool, the volleyball court and the local Native American reservation. (If you have a reservation near by, you’d probably be safest to lock up your loved one…) Another tip that you can learn from my mistakes is to practice safe sex. You never know if someone’s semen, though it should be venemous, is actually safe & will produce a half-vampire child. Even Alice didn’t see that one coming…

Alice: It is not okay to help yourself to seconds or grab an extra large piece of patriotic cake. I know you think you’re going to exercise tomorrow, but trust me. You won’t. You can always bet on me

Jasper: Are you usually the one who laughs at the people wearing the flag t-shirts whistling “America the Beautiful” all day long? Don’t really feel like you have a patriotic spirit? Don’t worry. This year, with my help, you will wake up with the Star Spangled Banner stuck in your head all day, which you will sing, loudly, for everyone to hear. And forget a flag t-shirt, you’re going to be inspired to collect all the flags in your neighbor’s yards & sew together your very own, custom, patriotic flag-outfit (similar to this one (UC note- don’t click unless you want to see a big girl almost naked, seriously) here.) You will feel patriotic this holiday, with my help!

Advice from UC & Moon: Feel free to make this your desktop background:


And make sure to listen to this song:

[vodpod id=Groupvideo.2872875&w=425&h=350&]

Happy 4th of July!
UC & Moon & all the Cullens

Celebrate with Rob over on LTR

Not going to a picnic today (why not!? you should’ve told me- I would have invited you over!) play in The Forum

We are both out and about all weekend, so we may not approve your comment right away if it’s in moderation. Just chillax- enjoy. Eat a hot dog, or a raw bear burger if you’d rather! XO

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